There’s a reason lots of good parents say to babies stuff like
“You’re excited to go to the park!”
“Oh, it makes you mad that we can’t go outside.”
And then when the babies get a little bit older the parents can say
“You seem upset. Are you sad?”
“Are you excited that gramma is coming over today?”
Which lets the kid (who is learning to utilize speech) respond with yes or no, which may prompt more questions, like
“So you aren’t sad, are you angry?”
“Yes, does it make you happy when gramma is here?”
And then, finally, when the child is learning to use language in a more complex way, the parents can say,
“How does it make you feel?”
“Why are you feeling like that?”
And it’s all about teaching emotional awareness. I really reccomend using the process on yourself. Learn to ask, “am I happy?” “Am I sad?” “Am I anxious?”
Then practice identifying, out loud or on paper if you can, “I’m happy.” “I’m upset.” “I’m sad.” “I’m anxious.”
Final step: “Why am I feeling anxious? I’m still thinking about that awkward conversation earlier.” “Why am I happy? It’s such a beautiful day outside.” “Why am I sad? None of my friends are responding to my messages.”
It really helps you notice patterns (“I’m more likely to be happy when I’m around this person.” “When I haven’t eaten, I often feel angry.” “If I don’t plan ahead, I get anxious.”) which is the first step in avoiding things and people that are bad for you and encouraging things and people that are good.
Basically don’t forget that you’re just a baby who got more complicated.
Not sure how to articulate what you are feeling? Try starting at the middle and working your way out to the more specific feelings!
