endless dreamer

lana condor. female. she/her. ― is that mai nguyen i saw during this years first ball of the season? the twenty six year old is avoiding finding a suitor but is enticed by the social season. they are known to be charismatic, but also envious, but focus on the positives when finding their chosen one

whatmai​:

as she spoke, mentioning that his choice to purchase her basket had been confusing, theo nodded. he understood where she was coming from, and that should the roles have been reversed, he would likely feel that same way she did. he didn’t like to confuse her, but things were complicated. he couldn’t exactly just tell her that he bought her basket because he didn’t want anyone else to court her. she needed to find someone of wealth to wed, someone with a title and someone who could support her. he would never be that person, and in turn the two of them could never be together. though that did not stop theo from acting selfishly, from acting upon his own desire to have her all to himself. biting his bottom lip, his gaze them dropped to the ground, his stomach churning as he gnawed on the flesh of his lip. “mai.. you know that i know you better than anyone but.. i was not sure whether your feelings toward marriage may have changed in the past year.” he spoke, softened eyes then moving up to find her face again. her beauty was beyond words. she always managed to take his breath away, even when she was being distant as she was now. “i- i know. i’m sorry. perhaps i should not have. i just-” he shook his head, inhaling sharply. he had to just say it, didn’t he? with a shaky breath, he then met her gaze once again. “it was selfish. i was selfish. i bid on your basket because the thought of someone else getting to court you.. getting to be with you in the way i wish i could haunted me. it still haunts me.” he admits, shaking his head and clasping a hand around the back of his own neck. his eyes were focused on the ground, afraid to look at her.

his  words  were  misunderstood , she  was  confused  by  his  recent  change  of  heart ,  and  how  he  came  to  be  sat  beside  her.  she  only  wishes  things  were  less  complicated  between  them.  she  remember  the  happier  times ,  where  they  were  not  complicated  ,  she  just  noted  the  blissful  times  they  shared  together.  she  wanted  to  know  what  had  changed  for  him ,  why  he  could  not  bare  to  spend  time  with  her  anymore.  he  had  been  a  large  part  of  her  life  ,   spending  most  days  with  him ,  laughter  and  cheer  filled  the  air  and  she  was  consumed  with  love  for  him.  but  now ,  it  had   become  torturous  to   be  around  him  and  him  not  see  her  the  way  she  obviously  saw  him.  she  blamed  herself ,  but  the  not  knowing  was  worse.  eyes  flicker  to  meet  his  ,  narrowing  slightly  as  she  began  listening  to  him.  she  opened  her  mouth  to  speak , closing  it  again  as  he  continued.  “haunts  you? “  eyes  narrow  slightly  ,  confused  slightly  until  it  began  to  piece  together.  “  i  thought  i  had  done  something  wrong ,  one  moment  you  could  not  be  away  from  me  ,  and  then  you  could  not  bare  the  sight  of  me? “  she  frowns,  sighing  as  she  swallows  hard  to  contain  herself.  “  i  only  ever  wanted  you ,  my  outlook  on  marriage  changed  the  moment  you  came  into  my  life -- but  you  still chose  to  leave  me  without  an  explanation? “

whatmai​:

“no it is alright i’m just not one who likes to talk about their personal life much,” he soothed softly. it was the truth he didn’t like to talk about it much, he was a closed book to most and it was hard for him to open up at times even to those he cared for and somehow mai had managed to get herself onto that list. “tell me more of your day.”

whatmai​:

theo approached her, his dark eyes drinking in the sight of her. no matter how she dressed, she always managed to take his breath away. whether she was dressed to the nines as she was now, or whether she was dressed down.. she would always be the most beautiful woman in the world to him. biting his bottom lip, he then combed a hand back through his own thick dark locks, pushing them away from his face. there was something that didn’t quite sit right with the male when it came to the idea of mai spending time with someone else, nor when it came to her being forced to spend time with someone who viewed her as a prize to be bought. as soon as she spoke, he felt her jab go straight to his chest. eyes moved to the ground, his head shaking slowly. “it was selfish of me to bid, i know.” theo started then took a seat beside her. “and.. keeping you from someone who may potentially be your one true love, the person you are destined to spend the rest of your life with.. that was perhaps a little selfish of me too.” he took a breath, turning to face her then. “but.. mai.. i- i care about you. i care about you too much to stand by and watch as some rake tries to claim you as his due to the mere fact that they paid enough money to spend the night with you.” there was a slight hint of jealousy in his tone, the idea of someone else wining and dining the woman who held his heart making him feel sick to his stomach.

She had not expected to see him, after their last interaction, which was unwanted on his part, she assumed he would keep his distance. However, she was receiving mixed signals from him, and her mind was full of ‘what if’s’ and considering if her own actions had caused such destruction to their friendship. She had tired to speak it through, with the likes of Lucas, and instead felt more confused. His conclusion had been that Theo held feelings for her, but she had not believed him. How could someone refuse to be around her, but hold feelings for her? She could not understand it. She shook her head, eyes moving to meet his, lost almost in his deep hues. She wished things were different, in fact, she wished to take his hand and reassure him that she was there for him, whatever was causing his distance. “I don’t believe it is selfish -- merely confusing mostly.” She confirmed, arms folding across her chest in defence. She needed answers, after months of uncertainties, she needed to know why he was treating her this way. “If you know me at all, it is that despite my father’s best efforts, I am avoiding marriage.” She sighed, huffing a little as she did. “You are confusing me, one moment you cannot stand the sight of me, the second you are here, bidding on my basket -- you know I will be repaying you every penny.” She spoke defensively, shaking her head.

whatmai​:

“i can absolutely confirm that nothing is as easy as it seems, things are always coming up unexpectedly and will always take us by surprise,” he agreed with a nod of his head. “no mai there are no feelings other then that of friendship and companionship involved, i have been her guard for a very long time and i have been away from her long enough to not start slipping up now,” he stated with a slight annoyed tone in his voice.

whatmai​:

lucas could understand that for he had almost a similar situation with florence, one moment she didn’t want to see him and then the next she was seeking him out. it was truly confusing. “perhaps him purchasing your basket is him trying to say something,” he offered softly as he gave her half a hug. “aye a rake did bid and won i might add, so i’m sure i’ll be dealing with tears or something later on,” he sighed softly. “ignore"i only do what is expected and it is expected that i protect her from all things.”

whatmai​:

“is that so?” moving to sit beside her he made himself comfy, ready to listen to whatever she wished to lay upon him. “and how has it worsened your confusion?” he questioned gently. at the mention of his princess, lucas found himself shaking his head. “i did not, though i only placed the bid so i could keep her from those who wish to ruin her,” he grumbled as he thought back to the rakes making their way into her life.

closed starter for @whatmai

“i take it that you’re enjoying yourself so far?” he questioned mai as he stepped up to her side. it was a rare moment for him to be away from his princess’ side but he took that moment to check up on mai, to make sure that she was alright.

event starter // ft. @whatmai​

when he had initially heard of the event, the basket auction, theo thought it was a ridiculous idea. auditioning off women to the highest bidder was a tragic idea, one that did not sit right with him at all. when the list of names were announced, he hoped that mai wouldn’t be one of them. although.. he knew deep down that she would. it was her duty to find a husband, no matter how messed up theo thought that to be. he cared about mai deeply, more deeply than he cared for anyone else. and the idea of her being bought by someone who would perhaps treat her like a trophy.. that made him sick to his stomach. so theo raided his savings and even took up a few extra shifts at the printers. he would try his very best to make sure that he would be the highest bidder. it was difficult, considering he were a mere commoner. but, somehow he managed to do it. so here he was, wicker basket in hand on his way to find his former best friend, the woman whom he cherished. 

she could not explain the reason her heart sank , the moment that the winning bidder was released, anxiety set in. the man of which broke her heart, had ignored and isolated their friendship without word or reason. she was unsure what to expect, or his vendetta. she had spoken with lucas about the situation, and he had insinuated that theo may have feelings, and she had disregarded such things. she had approached the destination , and eyes fixated upon him for a moment longer than intended. everything about him filled her with joy, despite everything they had been through. he was her safe haven, and she could not understand her feelings. despite this, it was evident she loved him. “i was surprise to see you here.” she responded softly, eyes averted in anticipation. “you know, your mood swings are giving me whiplash.” she sighed, moving to sit down on the blanket beside the basket.

whatmai​:

as annoying as she could be he knew that there weren’t many that she could turn to so lucas would be one to defend her if she needed it. she had become the annoying sister he never wanted. “so long as he is kind that is all that matters,” he nodded slowly. a small smirk came to his lips as he shot her a look, “perhaps he is like this because he has feelings for you,” he teased with a chuckle.

whatmai​:

“well if you need me to hit him simply say the word and i shall track him down and beat him to a pulp until he admits his wrongdoings,” he offered with a smile. “but honestly i think you should just sit him down and talk with him, maybe give him a drink or two to loosen him up.” he offered with a shrug, it was things such as this that he was useless at. “i’m sure he will come around soon.”

whatmai·:

lucas let out a small sigh, he honestly didn’t know what to tell her in that moment for he didn’t have the answers she sought. “i don’t mind you asking for advice, ever though i can’t guarantee that i will always have the answer you seek,” he shot out quickly. “he refuses to tell you huh? did you leave or part on bad terms perhaps that you remember?” he asked softly.

"It may have slipped your attention, but I do not have Theo, so despite how good looking he is, it's not relevant to me." @ofsharpe

whatmai·:

“Aye,” he laughed, “It’s all a bit overwhelming.” It was the truth, of course. He had spent most of his life trapped below deck on a ship sailing from one place to another with a hundred other men, and now he was wearing a cravat and drinking tea in a garden. “I feel out of my depth, I fear. See, I’ve just bought the Londonderry house on Park.” He took a drink of the tea and sighed, “But I’ll admit, I haven’t been in London since I was a boy.” And certainly never around these parts, even then. 

She could not help but laugh, sighing as she raised her cup to her lips before placing it down on the table beside them. She nodded upon hearing his words, smiling to herself. “It can feel like you are a small fish, in a big pond.” She replied, smiling softly at him. “London has changed a lot in recent years, I feel this does not help. But fear not -- I can be your guide.” She volunteered with an amused grin.

whatmai​:

“it is not that i am on edge, i am simply maintaining the proper mindset that will help keep my princess safe from any dangers,” including himself, though he choose to leave that bit out. “there is honestly nothing to speak about so do not worry yourself with something so meaningless,” he sighed softly. “though what of you?”

whatmai​:

William ducked his head in a nod, the motion stiffed and forced. It was the appropriate thing to do when greeting a lady, apparently, or so his new etiquette coach said, but it felt so strange to him that he almost wanted to just say forget it and act like a normal person. 

“Thank you, Miss,” he said with a soft chuckle, taking off his hat to wipe at his brow as he sat, “I’ve never been in a garden this big before. I think I’ve gotten myself quite lost. Probably best to stay a bit and reorient myself.” 

At first, stature had not come to her mind. She was often very naive to such things, however, the males words caught her off guard, brows raised in curiosity. She did not understand how he could have not been in such a place? Though, as her mind wandered, it began to make more sense.

“It is quite an eye-opener, some of the families here have quite the estates, it can be a little daunting.” She smiled weakly, pouring him some tea before turning to face him again.