Random Things

When the mafia finally catches my ass

the secret to life is to always use more spinach and less rice than you think you’ll need

the second secret to life is that fresh air warm sun and a cup of tea will make your problems small enough to start handling

the third secret to life is that violence sometimes really is the answer

my job in the 1930s was to hang around the docks and blow all the union guys

Call that a whistleblower

talk about union busting

happy labor day

my urine is always, always crystal clear. like a mountain spring. can you say the same?

No i piss like im spraying fermented brown mustard outta my cunt

goodness gracious

Machine gun bird wants to FUCK

what do you think the gay nightlife scene is like on Tatooine

yall hate wolverine origins but “your country needs you” “im canadian (drives away)” is the greatest moment in cinematic history

Every time i see this post i remember seeing the movie in the theater with my dad. After the first line he really loudly whispered to himself “he’s CANADIAN” in indignation and then when logan said the same thing immediately he gave what i can only call a scoff of approval

Before 1903, any human that was traveling at 120mph was likely falling to their death.

they took vine from us

sad apes in the jungle discussing deforestation

It occurs to me that a fair amount of the people on this site are too young to remember Sonichu and this terrifies me.

This somehow makes it funnier and more ominous but less scarring

@ukaizawa

like 99% of "men and women are soooo different!!!" comedy is literally just describing the experience of not understanding other people. like it's not that women never say what they mean talking to other people is just like that. it can be hard to understand what other people are thinking. bioessentialism really rots the brain

"women will say I'm fine and then not mean it" yeah that's something literally everybody does. is this your first time interacting with another human being my guy

this is one of the only funny responses on this hell of a post