Bun's Old Bloggy

Thank you BONES

“Okay.”

“… I’m… sorry?”

“Well I mean you should be, you’ve been acting like an ass this whole time, but whatever, okay. I’ll join you.”

“You– wha?”

“Well I already can’t use my powers to rescue a kitten from a tree without being eyeball deep in Should Supers Be Government Regulated discourse. And selective media coverage that makes me look like a prick. And have you seen the memes? I’m done.”

“I–”

“And I got a tooth knocked out in a fight last week but I don’t get dental coverage for this gig. Or, you know. Income of any kind, livable or not. But you own a multi-billion dollar evil corporation so I assume there’s benefits?”

“Yes. There’s… yes.”

“So whatever, I’m in. Evil’s my middle name, or something. What’s our plan?”

“…”

“Do you… what, do you not have a plan?”

“Honestly no, I really didn’t think you’d be on board, I– I’m not sure how to proceed from here.”

“Talk it out over drinks on you?”

“Will the rain ever stop?

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

my brain:

I’M TIRED OF SEEING 50 YEAR OLD WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE THEY’RE 20.

STOP LYING AND GIT GUD. IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO DRAW A LINE OR TWO UNDER THEIR EYES.

And if you need reference here’s a google search of ‘old women’ 

And here is an example I doodled so you can see what really makes a woman LOOK like she’s older.