Grimm

◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•◦•

!! 18 + Only !!

This is just an anonymous blog for me to scream the nonsense out of my brain

Age: 21

He/They

Everything feels fake, I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel numb and hypersensitive to everything at the same time. I sit blankly behind my sunken eyes, criticizing every moment- every breath or word, or tone.

I know what I should do, I know the steps and the process but every time I try to take a step forward my own body throws me back.

I put a system in place, I told them a code word and a hand signal I could give them when I'm starting to have an episode but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My body froze with the horror of confessing such a thing. Ruining their night and bringing them down into this pit I've made for myself. I don't want that for them, I don't want them down here with me.

I sometimes forget not everyone has this.

It’s not normal to hurt everyday, to wake up and have to swallow handfuls of pills to function- otherwise I have a miserable day filled with aches and pains. Twinges and creaks from my bones, screaming at me to do something ANYTHING to help them out. I try everyday to make my body stronger, whether it be yoga or physical activity from my work but all it does is make me hurt more. I know it’s supposedly helping, building the muscles around my joints, but if it’s helping why am I still in pain?

Words are such a complication. A mere change of tone or the simple change of a letter can misinterpret everything.