What G's Watching

I’m here again. Why am I watching so many new things lately? Who knows. I go through periods where I can’t handle any new media because my brain is leaking out of my head but apparently right now I just want new entertainment. 

Which is good, because I do still feel like we’re in a golden era of television. And of course, my life long obsession with David Tennant is still very much a thing so I finally got into

The Four Seasons. 

Listen, Tina Fey has always been a spirit animal for me and I meant to start this during the first season but like life, ya know, so I just binged both seasons instead and I’m completely smitten and also AGAIN, personally victimized but apparently that’s just my theme now.

Wherein, a group of three 50ish year old couples meet up for a vacation or some shenanigans once a season throughout the year. A whoooole bunch of shit ensues. 

As I said, I love Tina Fey. And I love Will Forte. And Fucking Steve Carell. So it really doesn’t make sense that I slept on this for so long. I honestly didn’t expect much but good lord, this show gave me a lot of feelings. 

Tina Fey and Will Forte are a married couple, Kate and Jack, and they have a  daughter, and their story was frustrating and sweet. Most of this show was frustrating and sweet. Kate is a typical over-achieving woman (hi, it’s me) and Jack is just a genuinely nice, if a little cowardly, guy that wants to make everyone happy. And they’re trying to keep their marriage together, and it’s so relatable. 

And it’s nice, you know, to see a couple like that depicted where BOTH of them are trying. In their own fucked up ways. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop but they both just really care about each other and they want to make it work and that made me want to cry a little bit because I have my own shit. They’re my favorite couple of the series. 

But I do also love Danny and Claude. They’re such a positive depiction of a gay couple and we need more of that, as we all know. I saw a post in the Heated Rivalry subreddit that was trying to explain why straight women love seeing gay men in love and it said something about how it’s a non-mysogynist fantasy that allows us to experience intimacy and vulnerability without having to worry about gender dynamics and projecting ourselves onto the female character and it’s SO TRUE. Danny and Claude are also wonderful for this.

Danny is a bit of a dick and Claude tries to please him too much but I enjoy their journey; Danny ultimately ends up finally prioritizing Claude and they really love each other and it’s nice and it’s ALSO nice to watch Kate start to appreciate Claude as a person more.

I’m also obsessed with Danny and Kate’s friendship. There’s a moment toward the end of the season where Kate is talking about how she can be the person she was when they met when she’s with him, and that hit me so hard. I have a friend like that, who makes me remember who I was even if we’re away from each other for years and years, when we do come together it’s always that same and having that is SO precious, and it’s a good lesson to learn. Kate is scared they’ll fall out because Danny and Claude move away but it really doesn’t have to be that with certain people, and that’s beautiful.

I texted my bestie as soon as I saw that scene and I just appreciate all of that a lot.

Meanwhile, you might hate Steve Carell’s Nick in this. I think I do? He’s a flawed guy and he can’t prioritize other people but he’s also not a complete piece of shit, somehow? And I was VERY surprised about what happens to him so I won’t spoil it. I immediately started screaming at my sister. 

But from his fuckery comes the most interesting relationship, which is between his wife Anne, and his eventual girlfriend Ginny. I wanted to hate Ginny, I wanted to hate her so much, but eventually you just can’t. She was trying to live her life. And it’s heart warming, the way she and Anne end up.

Of course, Anne was too much of me and also a little bit of my husband (but only slightly, and I was very upset about seeing myself in Nick for a minute) somehow. I don’t want to end up like her but I also DO kind of want to end up like her and we’re all just trying to figure out who the FUCK we are, right? And she might get to figure that out with David Tennant’s Gianpiero in season 3 and I am HERE for that.

So yeah, this show is wall to wall relationships that you’ll recognize parts of yourself in and you’re not going to like that (or maybe you will. Again, I’m just emotionally stunted.) but it was also just funny and addicting. And only occasionally devastating. 

Basically, I’m gonna need Tina Fey to never, ever stop making television. Bless her gorgeous, gorgeous brain. Gimme season three please!

Hey, so like….does anyone else feel an ABSURD amount of existential dread right now? Like you’re kind of being suffocated by it, because the AI bubble is going to inevitably tank society as we know it and no one is taking it seriously and things are absolutely shit? 

No?

Okay well if you want to feel some manageable existential dread of a supernatural nature, with the comfort of the fact that there’s a 99.99% chance that none of this will ever happen, plus the added benefit of a couple of good laughs, might I suggest to you:

Widow’s Bay. 

The internet targeted me for this one. And usually when that happens I try to resist because I’m like ‘an algorithm doesn’t know shit about me’ but I gave in because of course the algorithm does know probably more about me than I know myself and I’m not actually ever winning against it when I do resist, so why not, right? It was definitely worth it. 

This show is wild. I’m SO here for it.

Wherein the mayor of a small island town off the coast of New England tries to drum up tourism to their little haven, even though something is completely fucking wrong with the island.

IT’S A HAUNT!

Y’all. This show really is funny and fucking terrifying. I do love the lore, I’m always all about the lore, and I definitely called the twist at the end even though they tried to fake me out in episode 9. I knew it. Which is what I literally screamed at my husband when it was revealed. 

It’s honestly a ridiculous story. It doesn’t make a ton of sense and there are a lot of layers to it, they didn’t reveal everything this season and I’m annoyed and intrigued. When you think you have it figured out, in the last episode you’re presented with the CREEPIEST promotional slash propaganda film you’ve ever seen and you realize, oh fuck, there’s a protocal??? Whaaaaat?

Also, I enjoyed that some of the episodes were like monster-of-the-week but fed into the larger story while still being contained. 

Which leads me to PATRICIA. Holy shit, woman. I wasn’t sure what to make of her at the beginning but her arch was wonderful. A lot of it was horribly uncomfortable, the entire episode about her party I was cringing and trying to stop myself from muting the volume but it was worth it. She came out swinging is episode 8 and it was heroic as fuck and you gotta respect a 40-year-old woman wielding a shotgun. 

She’s also got perfect comedic timing. Busting into the room when Tom is talking to the founder, breaking a tense-as-fuck moment to say ‘oop, forgot my purse.’ She’s a fantastic weirdo, and we need more of that. 

Having been steeped in shows lately with actors that I’m obsessed with, it was  refreshing to just watch a show for the show rather than abject ogling. I don’t care about Matthew Rhys but he was phenomenal in this. In the first episode he gets attacked by the fisherman that had disappeared in the water and then washed up still half alive, and the facial expressions he goes through sitting on the floor of the hospital room are just  so incredible.

He WAS mayor Tom Loftis, just a straight-laced guy who wants to take care of the town he’s in charge of and wrangle his unruly teenage son. And watching him unravel and accept what’s happening was impressive. The episode where he spent a night in the local inn was fantastic. He just grows more harried and exhausted but also resolved and then torn and incredulous and this dude goes through every emotion and he does it so, so well.

So yeah basically, props to Matthew Rhys. Goddamn.

And shout out to Stephen Root, whose face I always recognized but whose name I just learned because I had to IMDB him. I love a good character actor, and this mofo is IT. He’s perfect as Wyck, the hardened old fisherman who you assume at first is just a nutbag, but is actually one of the only people talking sense. 

I guess I just love that we’re doing horror in the summer. I needed a way to sublimate my tech-job-induced tidal wave of anxiety, and this was perfect. On the edge of your seat for 40 minutes at a time, and even though it’s technically a cliff hanger, you’re still satisfied enough to just be excited for more. 

Exactly like the island, actually. And you’re gonna need to watch it to understand that. Get you some of that supernatural satiety, it’ll keep the dread at bay for a minute. Trust me. Season 2 can't come soon enough.

Y’all. BLESS whoever decided to have Rivals season 2 premiere around the same time as the Good Omens finale. I’m surrounded by David Tennant and it’s fucking amazing and

Rivals is SO GOOD RIGHT NOW. 

I went into the first season completely blind and I was NOT prepared but now that I know what I’m in for, I’m annoyed that we’re splitting the season but I get it, the show is a powerhouse and they’re trying to milk it and whatever, fine. So let’s talk about the first half because I’m full on obsessed.

Wherein Tony Baddingham lives, the fight for the franchise rights heats up between Corinium and Venturer, and everyone is still just…fuckin’. 

Firstly and obviously, I’m so glad Tony survived the blow to the head, and he spends the first half of this season continuing to be the pitch perfect villain. What a terrible fucking person. Just…all around horrible and it’s so COMPELLING. When he shows up in the helicopter to take Cameron back from the cottage she was hiding away in with Rupert? Baller. Convincing Declan’s wife Maud to star in A Mid Summer Night’s Dream for Corinium by playing up her need for attention in a ploy to wreck Venturer and Declan’s life? Diabolical. 

But ALSO, getting his absolute ass handed to him by his wife Monica after Cameron embarrasses him in front of basically everyone in the Cotswolds by publicly defecting to Venturer? Again, my man is multifaceted maybe, and I love, love, LOVE to hate him.

And then there’s Tony and Maud. Oooooooof. They’re getting in too deep and I hate it. Do not try to attempt to humanize this man with tender pillow talk between the two of them, I can’t take it. The story about wanting to be a photographer, his father pulling the film from his camera, and I was like ‘oh that’s kind of sad’ and THEN this motherfucker does the same thing to the tapes of the competition show Venturer had just filmed. FULL on sociopath. It’s horrifying but god help me it’s also hot as shit.

Maud should be fucking scared of him and I think she is, but absolutely not enough, especially after what just went down. Tony is about to lose his grip on reality and it’s going to be bad for EVERYONE. Literally everyone.

Other highlights of the first half include Rupert losing basically everything because of Tony’s insane vendetta - his MP position, potentially his kids, his stake in Venturer. And moving Cameron into his house and reluctantly getting into a relationship with her. 

Don’t fret though, He’s still very much about Declan’s DAUGHTER, Taggie. And I said this during season 1, you aren’t going to convince into liking that relationship, and I’m still holding firm to that. I usually am all about pining and longing and hurdles to being together and blah blah but I just..I’m not here for this. Rupert needs to learn from his mistakes, he flat out tells her he can’t ruin her too and I think he should hold himself to that. 

I am just about rooting for her and Bas. I think he’d be good for her, and she deserves something uncomplicated. Will  the second half of the season change my mind though? We shall see. I know y’all are about it, but I’m gonna need more to get on board.

Meanwhile, Lizzie is still my-ride-or-die and watching her trying to keep away from Freddie while fighting with herself was so sad. I’d been so excited when she finally let herself go at the end of season 1 but I do appreciate that at least two people in this show understand fucking consequences. 

Her discussion with Monica in episode 6 was heartbreaking: “Polite, considerate, grateful, always put one's own needs behind absolutely everyone else's.” You ladies are suffering generational trauma and you’re inflicting it on your own children and you DO have the power to change things. And I desperately hope she’s able to do so. 

Honestly though, I can’t even think about the rest of it because I’m still reeling from the confrontation between Monica and Tony. I hate to say this but I could see both of their sides. Tony is a fucking asshole, and he doesn’t respect women at all, but maybe I understand his motivations a little bit. 

Saying he did it because he wanted to feel something, “you always made it clear, always, sleeping with me was something you put up with as a duty” and I’m over here like, oop, I feel a little too seen right now. Why do we do this to ourselves? 

She married him out of a sense of duty, out of pressure and the knowledge that her true self could never be ackowledged, and he married her because of opportunity, it was a business transaction. And he does deserve to feel desired but he was brought up to believe women were playthings and he was just doing what he was taught and she deserves to be happy and loved but she was just doing what she was taught too 

And okay maybe it’s generational trauma on both sides. We’re all terribly fucking flawed and maybe that’s all we’ll ever be and some of us are just better at learning from our shit decisions than others. 

Tony absolutely fucking deserves to suffer the consequences of his actions. And Monica, well…I won't spoil that.

This show surprises me at every fucking turn. TOO much happened in the first six episodes and I’ve just been wandering around my house for the past hour SCREAMING. 

I thought this was supposed to be a saucy, light-heartedish bonkbuster??

Basically, they really need to stop making me feel ways about relationships. I’m still PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED by this show. Now, more than ever.  FINE, okay, YES we contain multitudes, but I kind of hate it. And I will gleefully, ferally, wait for the next installment. 

As horrifying as it is, I will forever be in Tony Baddingham’s thrall because I get it, we all just want to prove that we’re alive. 

Okay hey…I’m back. And I think I’m through my Good Omens finale meltdown, thanks in large part to the absolutely feral Reddit community and the insane number of threads/comments/screaming I read through. 

It’s time to discuss interpretations, y’all, and all the sweet, cute, funny parts we did get. 

Let’s just acknowledge that from the beginning, our satisfaction in Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship was coming from the subtext, and the tiny actions. We’ve lived on those this whole time, and the finale stayed true to that. 

Like Crowley living in an alley so dramatically was very on brand, and the fact that they were overt about how much he went through to protect the bookshop is kind of everything. He said out loud “You weren’t here. I wasn’t going to lose this place as well.” But he was PERFECTLY FINE letting Bentley go, he’d even told the ridiculous gangster to take it without even playing the game. And we know how deeply he cares for the Bentley. 

Anthony J’Acts of Service’ Crowley, forever. It’s baby girl’s love language. And it’s his most solid announcement of feeling in the entire episode. It’s flawed, but it’s ours.

And Aziraphale being so excited about getting to come to Crowley’s rescue for once. And continuing to insist it was ‘our car’. “I’m rescuing you! And I’m liberating our Bentley!” In his own way proving that he can contribute, he can show he cares instead of letting Crowley do all the heavy lifting. Mrs. Sandwich wasn’t completely wrong when she said that he was a taker, but Crowley was happy to let him be that in their dynamic and he knew that, but things change. And it might have been a small thing, but it was a thing none the less. 

We also have to solemnly acknowledge Crowley’s heaven look because it was fucking fire and if we take nothing else from this, we’ll always have that incredible outfit. I’m not entirely sure why it’s doing it for me but holy hell, it really, really is. The jacket, the pants, the boots, the color palette. Everything just…swoooon.

ALSO, holy crap Lord Slorch The Vile. Absolutely incredible. That was some of my favorite bickering of the finale; Aziraphale declaring he was a master of disguise and Crowley quick to argue, to then see his demon teeth and announcing, “Oh that’s actually rather good”. Why did that make my heart so happy? For once in the angel’s long life, he nailed it. 

And of course, the conversation wherein Aziraphale tells Crowley he chose to go to heaven BECAUSE of him. Telling him that Crowley had made him brave, made him want to stand up for what he believed in. Crowley has been slowly nudging him that way for literal centuries, never forcing, just little prods here and there. And I appreciate that he said it out loud, it was something Crowley absolutely needed to hear. 

I know it’s disappointing to not get some perfect declaration of their love but if you think about it, Aziraphale said more to Crowley about his feelings for him  in those 90 minutes than he probably ever did in their 6,000 year history. 

And this: “Why give me Crowley? Why make me complete and then take it away?” Crowley doesn’t even flinch at this, because he already knew. 

The more I think about it, both of them knew. Crowley said what he said in season two only because he wanted to stop Aziraphale from returning to heaven, not because he thought the angel didn’t know. All throughout the finale he keeps harping that Aziraphale chose heaven over him, now it feels like it was just about that singular choice, I don’t think it was about everything. 

He threw a fit, sure, but he protected the bookshop. He was angry that the entire game was fucking rigged, but I don’t think he ever doubted Aziraphale’s feelings for him.  When Aziraphale asked for his forgiveness he rolled his eyes because he’d already given it and Aziraphale knew that. He just wanted to hear it, because he’s also a dramatic bitch.

I’m coming around to the idea that their relationship was a lot more stable than we ever understood. And as much as I wanted the obvious romance, subtle is just their dynamic. And I have fanfic for the rest of it. 

Meanwhile, let’s talk ending interpretations. It’s devastating that they chose what they did, but I don’t think it’s out of character. Aziraphale had that whole speech about Crowley being an artist, that he just “wanted to understand, to make better art”, and a truly free universe is that better art, is that understanding. Crowley had been begging the angel to run away only because that felt like the remaining option in such a broken system. 

But when faced with a choice, a REAL choice, a REAL opportunity, I’m not surprised in the slightest that he wanted to give humanity what it deserved. Yes I know it won’t be the humanity Crowley knows, but that’s not the point. He just wants humans, any humans, to have an honest chance and I do think that’s really beautiful.

And that little finger kiss? I'll take it. It's like Aziraphale is giving back the moment he held onto since he left for heaven. And the smile on Crowley's face is everything.

I hate that it cost them their happy celestial ending, but I’ve seen some theories I really like: their love for each other and the world was the big bang for the new universe. Their souls are a part of it. They are born throughout human history and they find each other again and again. 

They may not have their memories, and that GUTS me, but I have to believe they’re tied together in every universe. We’ve always thought they were soul mates, this is just another version of that. 

And I do see Aziraphale and Crowley in Asa and Anthony. Asa wrings his hands while asking for Anthony’s number. The way Anthony yanks off his sunglasses when he enters the bookshop. Anthony has angel Crowley’s enthusiasm.  It’s them, just unburdened by six thousand years of fear and anguish and circumstance neither of them could escape. They have the opportunity to experience something that Crowley and Aziraphale never would have gotten to: uncomplicated love.

Anthony gets to express his love freely, they have their cottage, and we get little easter eggs like the snowglobe to let us know they're in there, somewhere.

I need Crowley and Aziraphale to be out there in the world eternally, and I choose to believe they still are. 

And as a lover of human AU’s, selfishly, I kind of love the idea of the multiverse being canon. 

I know everyone feels differently, and all of our feelings are valid. These two and this world became so big, so meaningful, and I just hope that the fandom can continue to love it, in any and all ways that make sense to us. I know I’m not going anywhere, what they’ve come to mean to me is too important to give up. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it’s what we have, and I’m thankful for that. Aziraphale and Crowley truly are the best of us.

Well…fuck.

I have. A lot of feelings. This is not a good time for me, just like, humanly. As a person. Which is stupid to say because I just got back from a free trip to Hawaii that I won because I made my company a lot of money with the work I did last year even though I didn’t agree with it and like, it’s all a very ‘nobody finds the lady unless she wants them to’ fucking moment. 

And I have the flu. So I used my sickness as an excuse and took the afternoon off to watch the 

Good Omens Finale

Which is something that has lived in the back of my mind for three fucking years. And today wasn’t really the day for it, but I desperately wanted it to be. 

So I have a lot of fucking feelings right now. And we’re gonna try to process them together. And I’m probably going to eat my fucking hat for saying that the Stranger Things fandom should just let people enjoy things because I’m having trouble letting myself enjoy this. 

HERE’S THE THING, gang. I know I’m going to calm down and come to peace at some point but like, this show has been a lot of things to me for longer than it should have been. I watched season two a burned out husk of myself from a job that was sucking out my life force, and then they straight up fired me after I was completely depleted and I retreated into the show to save my sanity. 

It’s a safe space. Where literally anything was possible because an angel and a demon loved each other and I know I’m saying things out loud that go directly toward what they did in the finale I know that I hear it I’m just…a little more broken than I expected to be.

Because apparently my sanity is tied to the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale will always exist. And I don’t know how to let go of that. And I know I don’t have to, the metaphors and finding each other in every age of humanity, I know but holy fuck I’m raw.

So I finished it and I started writing this and I started watching it again. 

Wherein Aziraphale tries to run the Second Coming, Jesus and the Book of Life go missing, Crowley is a sad wet cat, and everything fucking ends. 

There are a LOT of things to say and amazing beautiful things that I loved but we have to just get to the fucking meat of it because I’m struggling and I know a lot of people are too. 

Basically, Michael’s a twat and decides to rip everything out of the book of life. Crowley and Aziraphale figure it out and follow her out to the ‘eternal flame’ to stop her, but they’re too late, and they end up sheltering together at the end of everything in the bookshop. 

But then Satan and God show up. And even though she apparently ships our boys, she’s absolutely going to ensure it all ends, while giving the awful, final decision to a terrible angel and a former demon. 

And they choose to have the universe remade without heaven and hell. With real free will. To give humanity an actual chance to live ‘mundane’ lives without the deck stacked against them. Even if it means that neither of them exist. It’s what Crowley wants, and Aziraphale follows his lead. 

Which is fucking DEVASTATING. In so many ways. 

But it’s not necessarily completely off brand, if you think about it. Crowley always wanted the universe to go on. He wanted answers to his questions, he wanted things to be fair and balanced. He cared about humanity. He spent millennia trying to move the needle for them in all the small ways he could. 

I just never thought he’d care about it enough to sacrifice AZIRAPHALE’S existence. His own, sure. But the angel? 

Aziraphale agreeing though, I can see that. He wanted to do the right thing. And it was an opportunity for him to give something to Crowley. He said “I only want one thing. And that’s not what this is about anymore” and I’m going to choose to believe that one thing was Crowley. And giving him his final wish would have to suffice. 

And I do like the idea that in the godless universe, their souls somehow find each other. I get that, thematically. I understand that story structure. It makes sense. I can appreciate that Asa and Anthony got to live an existence that would never have been possible for Aziraphale and Crowley, I really can. 

I just, at the end of the day, I feel like something was RIPPED from me. 

Because I’ve been hiding behind them for so long. Escaping in the idea that for all eternity, they’d be this beacon out there, a group of the two of them. And that was a comfort. And right now, it just all feels wrong.

I have a fucking english degree, I know why this makes sense in the interest of storytelling, but I’m also a flawed person who uses content to feel emotions and I guess I gut punched myself on this one. I let it burrow too deep. 

Maybe it’s insane to say that I’ll go through the five stages of grief with this, but if I just did that for my current job and that was acceptable, then this is too. Because at the end of the day, I’m dramatic as fuck, just like Crowley. 

I’ll be fine in a bit and then I’ll be excited to talk about the pieces I did swoon over and I’m still gonna order stuff  from the store I just need to feel my crazy feelings right now. 

Love endures, I know. They’ll find each other over and over again. The fandom will continue to create, and I’ll be here and we’ll be fine. 

Because their love “was the messiest, silliest, most predictable thing in the universe” and it always will be.

Hi. I’m writing this at like  10 o’clock in the morning and I’m already ruined because 

THE GOOD OMENS FINALE TRAILER IS OUT

And I really can’t. I watched it like four times in a row immediately while crying so this definitely counts as ‘what G’s watching’ I don’t care. 

Y’all. I have a lot of feelings. I know some of the fandom has been caught up in questioning how 90 minutes could do the story we all love so dearly justice and I admit I wasn’t thrilled about it either but wow, this trailer really is everything I didn’t know I wanted/needed.

Immediate confirmation that Crowley and Aziraphale are back together, even if they still seem icy with one another. AND acknowledging at least a little bit what happened between them - “do you want an apology from me?” “We could have avoided all this, I asked you to come with me.”

TALK. IT. OUT, YOU BLORBOS.

Also the cutest little baby Jesus ever ever ever. Crowley being dramatic as fuck sleeping in an alley all messy and stubbled. The Bentley. Arizaphale’s TERRIBLE archangel suit. Crowley’s new heaven look!!!!!! The hair and that jacket and the fucking boots??!  Weirdest swoon of my life.

Crowley showing up in heaven saying “Angel, time to go.” And more to the point, still calling Aziraphale “Angel” at all. 

THAT ONE LOOK WHERE CROWLEY’S GLASSES ARE OFF AND HE SMILING AND POSSIBLY CRYING.

Honestly, it’s like Ao3 threw up all the mad cap Second Coming adventures you wonderful souls have been writing into two minutes and I. Am. Here. For. It. 

Will we get absolutely everything we all want? No. I’m not that insane. But as long as they’re together at the end and their eternal happiness is implied, it’s the perfect jumping off point for the hive mind to write the explicit romance we all want. 

And we WILL get the happy ending, that much is clear. It’s gonna be a speed run, but they’re gonna make it, and that’s all that matters and I honestly cannot wait.

Y’all. I haven't super been around even though I’ve been watching things and enjoying them because my job has gotten really out of hand and everything has been really instilling a bunch of existential dread in me BUT

It’s my birthday weekend and one of things I wanted to do was get a giant tub of popcorn and watch a movie so my husband took me to

PROJECT HAIL MARY.

I deeply love Ryan Gosling obviously, who TF doesn’t, so I’ve been wandering around shouting ‘hot nerd in a grandpa sweater! SPACEEEEE’ because that was basically all I knew and wanted to know about the movie. And I’m honestly so fucking glad that I didn’t go deeper than that. 

This movie is beautiful. I cried no less than six different times. It ruined me emotionally in the best of ways. I’ve been struggling, we’ve all been fucking struggling, and it was just more than two hours of life affirming goodness that I didn’t know I needed.

Wherein, something has infected all of the stars in the universe except for one, and Ryan Gosling ends up being the one to try and figure out why.

And that’s probably more than you should know. 

It was surprisingly funny. And heartfelt. And gripping. And cinematic. Gosling carries the entire thing on his back and I can’t imagine someone else handling this role. He was magical, it was magical. 

The point is. If you’re like me, and you need a way to feel your feelings, this is it. There’s a shot where he’s collecting a sample and they have to switch the light so he can see the cells and it’s so fucking visually stunning and you can just get lost in it. That was the first time I cried. But none of it was out of sadness, not really. Sometimes you just need a reminder that the universe is vast and maybe all of this shit doesn’t actually matter.

In a sea of movies that are just remakes and sequels and just general bullshit, this was refreshing. This is a movie going experience movie. Crying in a dark theater while simultaneously laughing and shoving your face full of popcorn is something we all need now and again. 

I’ve been burned out, I’ve been sad, I’ve been frustrated. Everything is grey and dull but this movie is color. Somehow, it’s sunshine. It’s connection and finding yourself and finding what matters. It’s escaping and finding your place. 

I just love witnessing something special. And this movie is special. I’m another year older and things have been hard but this was just what I needed. 

Thank you, Rocky. Amaze, amaze, amaze.

Okay yeah I know I’m behind the trend but like, the thing with me is I can’t really watch shows week to week anymore, it makes me insane. I prefer to binge. And since we had a once-in-a-generation ice storm and we somehow still had power, I decided to spend most of my Sunday finally watching Heated Rivalry.

HOLY SHIT, this show is EVERYTHING. 

Wherein two rookies joining professional rival hockey teams are pitted against each other in the public eye, only to have an entirely different relationship behind the scenes. 

Do I have a weird obsession with watching boys fall in love? Yep, sure do. And apparently so do millions of other people, and I absolutely love that for us. 

I’m honestly surprised they put this show on TV, like I’m the weirdo over here in my fanfiction world being completely used to a plotline like this (have I read a Good Omens fic with basically the same premise? Absolutely) and I was still surprised to see it play out on screen.  

We need more content like this. Love is love is love is love, who cares? Watching two people connect and find themselves in each other is beautiful no matter who those two people are. 

The show chronicles several years of the boys’ careers - Shane Hollander is a Canadian playing for Montreal, while Ilya Rozanov is a Russian playing for Boston. They meet before they’re both drafted and sparks fly pretty much right away. Shane is inexperienced and straight-laced and Ilya is more wild and a little dangerous. At first there are a lot of lingering glances, brushes of fingers, etc but then when they both find themselves in a locker room, Ilya just goes for it, and they end up having a heated tryst in Shane’s hotel room. 

As I said, I LOVE boys falling in love. But the bulk of this show is miscommunication and repression. Shane takes what he can get from Ilya and they never really  talk about anything. I found myself slightly desperate for an interior monologue from either of them, I want those deep emotions more tangibly than sad faces and glances when the other one isn’t looking. It took me a hot minute to get behind the idea of the two of them, because I just wanted more connection.

Which is probably why I’m almost MORE into the little side story they worked into the season for another more senior hockey player, Scott Hunter. There’s an entire episode in the middle devoted to Scott and I lost myself over it. He plays for New York and he meets a cute guy, Kip, who works at a smoothie joint along his usual running route, and the whole thing is absolutely fucking adorable. Scott eventually works himself up to asking Kip out and then he lays his cards on the table. 

He explains that he’s gay but that he isn’t ready to come out and that he’s been holding himself back from happiness because of it but he wants to be with Kip more than anything and it’s really sweet. He’s upfront about his drama and Kip accepts it for a while and their relationship is adorable but heartbreaking and eventually, Scott lets Kip go because even if they’re happy together, it’s hurting both of them. 

It’s the little relationship things that I love in shows like this. The banana socks Kip gets for Scott to remind him of his smoothies, the openness between them, the TRYING. Scott goes to a gallery with Kip to buy some art and even though he panics, he TRIED.

I wanted more of that with Shane and Ilya, but they were on a different journey and that’s fine. Ilya knows that he’s bisexual, he’s accepted that about himself (mostly, it seems, except for external judgment) but Shane is clearly still struggling with himself throughout most of the season. 

It’s messy and awkward and uncomfortable. And I was screaming at the screen at times for them to get it together already but that’s also a reality we don’t like to think about sometimes - when you’re inside of something like that, it’s confusing as fuck and you make ridiculous choices and just hope for the best, even if everyone around you can see what’s going on so clearly. 

It’s that Office quote where Pam says something like “love affairs look different to the people inside them”. Which is so annoying for the viewer, because we got so little of the two of them actually expressing what they thought was happening. 

Eventually we do though, in the final episode, and it’s so fucking cute. And we do get a few moments along the way, too. The first time they call each other by their first names. Ilya’s speech in Russian about what he’s feeling after his father dies, admitting how he feels about Shane. Shane admitting it does feel different with Ilya to his girlfriend, who’d just guided him through coming out to her. I just always want MORE!

The entire season is fascinating once you look back on it because it ends and you’re just like ‘wait, they’re barely at the start of it!’ Honestly it made me a little desperate. Y’all hooked the fuck out of me with that, and I immediately googled information about season 2, which apparently will show them actually figuring it out, so kudos to the writers because this is somehow a slow-ass slow burn with a bunch of fucking whine pining and you put it on TV and that’s wild. 

Thank you for the taste of satisfaction though with Scott and Kip’s storyline. I sobbed at the end of episode five for longer than I’m proud of. Like, sobbing while it was happening and still for a bit once it had ended. I just fucking LOVE love. I love when it’s earned. I love when it’s beautiful, and when it overcomes obstacles. 

It’s been almost a week and it’s still with me and it will be for a while. Basically, it’s worth the hype and like way more hype and please world make more content like this. We need it.

Ugh, you guys. I’m SO over the internet, lately. Seriously, why does everyone to have negative as fuck about every single thing in the world? Why can’t anyone just enjoy things anymore? Why is the hive mind SO hell bent on being absolutely horrible and taunting and HATEFUL? 

AKA, I don’t understand the hate for the second half of the  Stranger Things final season. 

Wherein we deal with the reality that Will now has powers, we follow Holly & Max’s attempt to escape Vecna’s mind, Hop and El rescue Kali from the lab and make it back to the rightside up, the party finally figures out what the upside down ACTUALLY is, and a final battle is waged. 

A lot of the stuff I was seeing was saying that nothing at all really happened in episodes 5 - 7. I do admit they felt a little slow at times but Jesus, it takes WORK to get all of the chess pieces to fall into place and that’s a lot of what was going on. 

Highlights for me definitely include Steve and Dustin talking out their shit. Was it harsh to say that Eddie died for no reason? Maybe, but like, let’s all be real here, Eddid didn’t NEED to run into that swarm of bats to keep the rest of the party safe, he just wanted to prove to himself that he wouldn’t run anymore. And like, that’s fine that’s his choice but Dustin needed to hear it.

And the teary admission that Dustin can’t lose Steve was perfect. Their friendship was and always will be one of my absolute favorite parts of this show. I honestly care less about the friendships in the main party than I do those two. There I said it.

Meanwhile, Will overtaking Vecna’s mind to save / warn Max and Holly was incredible. That scene with him screaming for them to run was iconic. This dude spent the majority of the show as the one who needed to be saved always, it was a nice full circle moment for him to be able to do something for someone else for once. 

With Joyce’s full support and approval too. It was about time for her to understand that she’s been hindering him this entire time. I get the need to protect your kid after such a horrifying thing happened to him but girl, holding him back like that was detrimental. Props to for realizing that and accepting it. Did it go perfectly? No, but you let him try and that’s what matters. 

And yeah maybe they spent too much time on Holly, I can understand those arguments but I don’t care, gang, because it got us time with Max and it got Max OUT of Vecna’s horrible mind prison and that’s what matters. Having her wake up with Lucas and just surrounded by people who love her was beautiful. If Holly got to piggyback on that moment, so be it. She’s a plot vehicle y’all, it’s fine.

I’m also going to admit that I was never one for Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship, but I did appreciate their heart to heart. How fucking mature was that entire thing? And bittersweet. They went through something insane and it bonded them and it suffocated them too. Them saying they loved each other was so poignant. They do and they always will but woof, they were not a good couple and they couldn’t be. I feel like there are SO many people out there who would have just proposed and they would have fallen into a terrible unhappy life together, and I appreciate that we can see characters prioritizing themselves instead.

I do admit that I think the military storyline and the whole “we’re trying to make new Vecna’s” left a lot to be desired. Did that bitch even know there was a wormhole? Or was it purely just about creating like weird mind soldiers? If they had explained it to her, would she have chilled the fuck out? I mean, lol no I’m sure the government wouldn’t have chilled the fuck out and El would have always been hunted but still like, it could have been more cohesive.

What I’m more concerned about is people being gross about Will’s coming out scene. It was there from the start friends, it was always going to happen. Did Kali and Robin’s girlfriend need to be there? No, but who cares. Will got to choose, he got to control it and he got the reassurance he needed. That was an extremely dangerous thing to do in the 80’s and he did it anyway, because he didn’t want to be scared anymore. Even if he accepted it himself, he needed to know that the people he loved most would accept it too to be completely out of Vecna’s control. LET WILL HAVE WHAT HE NEEDS, fuck. 

Some people are salty as hell and it shows. I really will never ever understand caring so much about something a person can’t change about themselves to the point that you’d hate them for it. What does it matter to you? Literally, what difference does it make at all in your life? I can’t.

Meanwhile, I really enjoyed the finale as a whole. Watching the party fight against Vecna in their own ways, working together, generally being badass. Joyce literally chopping his fucking head off, all of that was incredibly satisfying. Was it too easy? Maybe. I even liked the fact that Henry was like ‘nah bro I chose this I’m cool with it’ - he was humanized just enough. Like, you didn’t really choose it but you’ve made peace with it and you’re on board now and that’s fine, be a proper villain but also like sorry, you gotta go.

What was more interesting to me obviously was the epilogue. I cried through most of it. I just love happy endings for people. Dustin doing exactly what Eddie said he would do at graduation. Seeing Nancy and Steve and Robin and Jonathan turning into little adults and having their own lives, but acknowledging that they want to maintain their bond. Hopper and Joyce getting engaged.

I loved that they ended with a game of D&D. That was absolutely a must, and the scene with all of them putting their notebooks on the shelf was so sweet. They really  were saying goodbye to their childhoods. 

Also, I’m going to say it. I agree that El couldn’t stay. She was protecting all of them, setting them all free from a life on the run. Hopper and Mike both would have absolutely tried to protect her for the rest of their lives but she wanted more for them, and I respect the fuck out of that. 

I’m okay with believing that Mike’s story about her escape is true, but I’m also okay with thinking she truly is gone. It’d be nice if she escaped and really did find a crazy town with three waterfalls but also, it was always going to be dangerous to humanity if she continued to exist. Brenner, the Russians, the US Government - Kali was right that it would never stop. And it’s not insane to think that she’d sacrifice herself to try to help ensure that the literal entire world is a safer place. 

Maybe I’m just easy to please, but it made me cry and it felt earned and satisfying. Granted, my entire life wasn’t wrapped up in the show and I wasn’t down a crazy theory rabbit hole or anything. I guess some people are just impossible to please, and I feel bad that they can’t find joy in their lives. 

Art is art and content is art and it’s all subjective. I don’t regret being a part of the Stranger Things journey for all nine years and I don’t feel let down. It’s a great show with wonderful characters that are going to ride into the sunset, and that’s beautiful. 

No, there won’t be a secret 9th and final episode. No, you’ll never know for sure what happened to Eleven. And it’s fine to think whatever you want and create your own ending, head canon is real, but like, please stop ruining it for everyone else. Maybe touch some grass.

Fandoms can be toxic, and this one is a little bit. And that’s a shame. Everyone involved should be proud of what they made. Fuck the haters. Their last adventure was wonderful. 

The point is: Hawkins will always have a place in my heart, and everything else is just noise.

HOLY MOTHEREFFING EFF, Y’ALL. Stranger Things season 5 coming out of the gate SWINGING and I am losing my mind about it.

Planned my Thanksgiving around this, not gonna lie. We usually don’t go home for the holiday, and we’ll make a small dinner here instead and get drunk which honestly is never the best plan so we changed it up this year. Rather than making my husband anxious about cooking a turkey I said fuck it, let’s not do it, I’m just gonna get a bunch of junk food and watch the entire thing in one sitting and it was PERFECT.

I’m a full grown ass adult, no regrets whatsoever.

And to me, it was worth the wait. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS and my husband only entertained my chattering for like 5 minutes. But here are the questions he had  once I was done, since he’d come in and out of the room a few times while I was watching:

“What’s with Nancy’s hair?”

“Wasn’t Max dead?”

And

“What’s going on with Dustin then?” 

Solid questions for someone who thinks I’m insane and has only been half listening to me recap the seasons throughout my rewatch. 

What’s with Nancy’s hair is that this girl is too busy to be dealing with it since her parents almost died and her sister got abducted by a demogorgon (also, holy shit mama bear Karen!!!), not to mention the fact that her relationship with Jonathan is so WEIRD right now and he and Steve are fighting over her like absolute idiots while she’s trying to keep everyone together and come up with plans to end this whole thing so they don’t have to be trapped in quarantine anymore so  like YEAH,  that’s what her hair looks like. 

He asked about Max because I definitely screamed “HOLY SHIT IT’S MAX!” She was dead at the end of season 4 of course, apparently for over a minute, but El was like ‘nah boo, we can’t have this’ and she ended up saving her body. And now we know why El can’t find her through the static - like yeah she resurrected her technically,  but she left Max’s mind trapped with Vecna. And that’s horrifying. And her story about wandering around in Henry’s terrible memories forever until finally finding the deconstructed Creel house and seeing a way out because Lucas is playing Kate Bush at her bedside, only to see the pathway close when the tape runs out before she can run for it? DEVASTATING. 

But fuck, are we glad to see her.

And my poor little Dustin. What’s going on with Dustin is that his friend DIED in his arms in season 4 in an effort to help save the town and stop Vecna but no one can know about that so they still think he’s an insane murderer and they’re defaming his gravesite and being absolute dicks and Dustin can’t tell the truth and they won’t let it go and my man is grieving so he’s starting fights and being reckless and Steve is absolutely not helping, likely because Dustin has succeeded in pushing him away. It’s hard to watch, y’all. It’s honestly crushing my poor little heart. Those two are my favorites and I need to see them figure their shit out. 

So like, all of that was enough of a recap for my lame husband but y’all, what we really need to talk about is how fucking CREEPY Vecna’s new plan is. Mr. Whatsit? He’s GROOMING children, promising them he’ll protect them and that they can have anything they want and creating this fucked up “perfect” reality, and it’s SO MUCH WORSE than what happened to Will. Like, Holly has no idea what’s truly going on, she thinks Mr. Whatsit is a savior and it’s so fucking gross and deeply upsetting and it makes my skin crawl. Watching her play dress up made me physically ill. 

I’m so glad Max found her and set her straight. It’s clear that Holly is clever and I’m glad that she wasn’t deep enough that she couldn’t see reason. Her fighting Max would have made the whole thing so much worse, and I’m honestly hyped to see how the two of them attempt to escape. 

But the real real story in the first half is Will, y’all. Holyyyy fuck, WILL. Firstly, how excited am I that Robin has become his Elder Gay, which he desperately needed. She’s finally happy with Vickie and he of course catches them canoodling and their clarifying conversation is awkward, but they come to an understanding. And then he asks her for advice on how he can figure out if the person he likes likes him back and everyone had heart eyes and it was beautiful. But he implemented her advice on Mike and Robin saw that Mike didn’t reciprocate and it leads to one of the sweetest moments in the show.

While trudging through underground tunnels, Robin tells Will about her crush on Tammy and how it killed her to realize she wasn’t interested, she let her life fall apart and she was in a bad way until she realized she was just seeking answers and comfort in someone else, instead of facing her fear and accepting herself. It was beautiful and they both cried and FINALLY, you could see it resonating with Will.

And thank god, because that conversation directly impacts what happens in episode 4 - things have gone to shit and demos are murdering military left and right and Will is seeing through their eyes, he’s fully plugged into the hive mind and they’re about to slaughter his friends and Will finally comes into his own. 

This babe takes control of the demos attacking his friends, and he straight up MURDERS them, snapping their limbs, Vecna-style. Mothereffer is POWERFUL and it’s incredible to see. Honestly, it’s got to be the most badass sequence in this entire show. They pan back to him as he comes out of his trance and you see the trickle of blood from his nose and this dude’s face as he wipes it out?? JESUS. 

I screamed. A lot. Baby boy needs this so much. We all need this so much. And it’s going to be mind blowing and I’m very very very here for it.

Sooooo yeah, I managed to wait 2 whole days before I restarted it. It’s giving me life, y’all. This truly is an iconic moment in television, and I can’t wait to watch it play out.

Stranger Things, you perfect wonder.

I. am. SO. EXCITED.

Friends. It’s finally happening. THE STRANGER THINGS FINAL SEASON. Which means, I’ve obviously just completed an end to end re-watch and we need to discuss.

Y’all, I’ve been on this train since the beginning. 10 years, two different cities, a proposal, a wedding, two different perfect puppies, four different jobs, a global pandemic, two new nephews, and a fuck ton of feelings later, and I’m very ready for this, and also honestly really sad. It’s the end of an era. 

So I had to do a binge because this magnificent show deserves it and my husband is bored of me talking about it and I need to put all of these thoughts somewhere. LET’S DO ITTTTTT.

Season One

Wherein the town of Hawkins gets turned upside down (HA, see what I did there) when an unsuspecting Will Byers gets sucked into a weird shadow world by a creature with no face after playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends.

It’s ridiculously hard to sum up season one. I attempted it with my husband who has actually seen it, and it just sounds more and more ridiculous as you continue to  try. Seeing it again, no wonder it was such a sensation - you can’t explain Will or the party or Eleven or Hopper or Joyce, you just have to SEE everything unfold. The entire season feels like you’re balancing on a razor’s edge, and jesus, shout out to Winona Ryder for fully and truly embodying Joyce Byers. She drives the entire season and her desperation to find her son will gut you. 

She’s not crazy, but it would be SO EASY to believe she’s just consumed by her grief. And ‘the bad men’ know that. Her fucking tenacity is astounding. On the first watch, I was definitely more about the kids, but apparently now I’m more tuned into the adults. 

Not that the kids aren’t fascinating. The party’s dedication to finding their friend is sweet, and watching them bumble their way through interacting with Eleven is as well. I’m over here being like ‘y’all can’t tell this girl is straight up traumatized? Why are you being dicks??’ but it was the 80’s and we didn’t understand any of that shit and they did their best. So I won’t point out that El glommed onto Mike probably because of attachment theory. It’s fine. 

It’s the perfect creepy introduction to Hawkins and the main characters and it immerses you in the madness that is to come.

season one is iconic and it built an incredible world that we all got lost in and absolutely NEEDED more of. I don’t understand anyone who watched it all the way through and then somehow fell off of the show. Like, honestly, how?

Season 2

Wherein almost a year after Will is rescued from the upside down, he starts having episodes that transport him back there, stalked by a ‘shadow monster’, while Hawkins Lab attempts to burn what of the upside down has creeped into the real world.

Honestly, I feel a little weird about season 2. It’s probably my least favorite BUT it does a lot of ground work that you need to make season 3 and season 4 what they are. 

AKA, the budding friendship between Dustin and Steve, and Steve realizing he wants to, and is GOOD at, being there for the party. The two of them walking along the train tracks dropping raw meat and talking about Dustin’s crush on Max will get me every time. It’s innocent in the midst of horrifying things happening around them and the lightness of it is so pure. 

And ya know, all of the Eleven backstory and her time with Hopper. I know most people absolutely hate the episode where she goes to find her ‘sister’, who is another test subject with abilities that has decided she’s going to weed out and murder anyone who’d been connected with hurting them in the lab. Yeah that episode is kind of random, but it shows El that she has people that support and love her (even if she is being kind of held captive) and that if she keeps fighting against it, she’s just going to end up seeking revenge for the rest of her life. 

Kali shows her what she doesn’t want for her future and that’s valuable. 

We also see the first instance in an alarming trend that’ll continue for the rest of the seasons: introducing an awesome character outside of the core group that contributes a ton and wins the hearts of everyone and then suffers a horrible fate. I absolutely love Bob. Sean Astin is wonderful and Joyce deserved love in her life and he really just wanted to make a family with the Byers. He was sweet and normal and he rolled with all of their crazy punches and he was so DEVOTED to Joyce. What happens to him is a fucking travesty, and one of the more heartwrenching moments in the show.

And, of course, Max bursts on the scene, and though I don’t love her in this season, and the storyline with Dustin and Lucas both crushing on her is like, meh, it’s nice for another chick to join the crew. Girl really pulls it out in the later seasons but we needed her rando season 2 introduction. 

So yeah it’s probably my least favorite of the first 4, but it’s required. 

Season 3

GANG. I really enjoy this season. It’s SUCH a time and place. Full-on nostalgia. Amazing depiction of an 80’s summer and I. am. here. for it. 

Summer 1985 finds the kids doing kids things and the adults doing adult things - Mike and El and Max and Lucas connected at the hip while Will just wants to play D&D, Nancy and Jonathan work an internship at the local paper, while Steve slings ice cream at the newly minted mall, and Hop freaks out at Joyce about El growing up. But nothing good lasts forever, and people start reporting diseased rats around town and when Dustin returns from computer camp, he intercepts a coded Russian message that he pulls Steve and his coworker Robin into. 

As I’ve been watching, I know that I know what’s going to happen but I keep forgetting how LONG it takes for everything to come together. The way they weave the story for each season and juggle like, 15 different characters really is impressive as hell. I appreciate that all of the different groups have a piece of the puzzle and they’re doggedly hunting it down until they all dovetail nicely. It’s storytelling perfection.

There are so many good moments in this season. One of my all time favorite interactions of the entire series is when Dustin shows up to Scoops Ahoy to see Steve when he returns home - their little handshake/interaction is so fucking pure and sweet and it’s like you can forget they’ve gone through horrible things together. They’re just unlikely friends being cute. 

Also, the montage of Eleven and Max shopping at The Gap while having a girl’s day because boys are dumb and Mike had lied after Hopper threatened him about them spending too much time together. El announcing “I dump your ass” is so peak 13 years old. 

The big debate of the season though comes from the Billy situation - he’s the first victim of the freshly returned Mind Flayer and ends up being his errand boy throughout, and if you thought you couldn’t hate Billy more after season 2, buckle up, because you can. BUT THEN, he gets a bit of a redemption arc. Does Billy’s crap childhood with an abusive dad make up for the fact that he makes the pain he suffers into Max’s, and everyone’s problem? 

The first time I watched it, no, absolutely not. But now? People are complex. And it sucks, but it’s real. I still absolutely hate him but at least he tried to do something helpful, in the end. 

Another shining star in the season in Erica - I absolutely love her no bullshit attitude. Everyone in the party are all idiots in their own ways and this girl is the only one seeing sense most of the time. Precocious children are perfect literary devices and she plays it so well. 

Honestly, there’s too much to say about this season so quick shout out to Robin and the way she knocks Steve on his ass continually, Murray calling out Joyce and Hop on their ridiculous sexual tension, Alexei for his love of cherry slurpies and Dustin for belting out an amazing rendition of “Neverending Story”. Did I see that movie maybe once? Probably. Have I spent the last week running around the house screaming “turn around! Look at what you seeeeeeeeee”? Also yes. 

So yeah. Somehow, it’s both a palate cleanser, and absolutely fucking terrifying at the same time. Again, perfection.

Season 4

Okay. So we all know I love origin stories, and season four is like, 70% origin stories. And it’s cinematic as FUCK. 

Wherein Mike goes to California to visit the Byers and a power-less El, Max isn’t handling her new reality well, Hopper suffers in a Russian prison, and Steve and Nancy try to keep the rest of the kids together while random high school students are being mysteriously murdered. 

The season clocks in at 13 effing hours, and they needed every minute of it. After the star high school cheerleader is killed in the first episode by some shadowy foe, things just don’t stop. 

We find out that the government is now split on whether El is a hero or a villain, Hop survived the explosion that destroyed the machine keeping the gate open in season 3 only to be captured, Max has completely pulled away from all of her friends, the kids are struggling having finally made it to high school, and things are just generally a mess. 

As I said, I do love an origin story and we’ll get to that but my absolute favorite part of this season (I’m pretty sure he’s everyone’s favorite part) is EDDIE freakin’ MUNSON. AKA, the most loved of the side characters who shows up and charms everyone and is amazing and then suffers horribly. 

Eddie, the seeming ‘freak’ who is actually a desperately sweet charismatic misfit and head of the Hellfire D&D club, ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time and witnesses the cheerleader’s confusing murder, and becomes the prime suspect. He’s just a kid who’s had a hard go of it. His first monologue in the school cafeteria with “Teenage Werewolf” in the background is inspiring. He’s misunderstood and he brings other misunderstood kids together.

And then the scene where he’s selling drugs to Chrissy? She says she doesn’t remember him and he flips over the picnic table in dramatic overreaction but then pops up with a shit eating grin on his face - he had everyone’s heart in his hands. And he doesn’t disappoint. His relationship with Dustin rivals Dustin & Steve’s sweetness and he’s just so very fucking relatable. I think we all knew he was too good to be true. 

Watching Dustin hold him while he dies is the second most emotional moment in the show, and will always make me cry.

But again, it takes a long fucking while to figure everything out, because it turns out that Dr. Brenner is still alive and he and Owens have concocted a plan to get El’s powers back that involves unearthing her repressed memories. And it’s FASCINATING. 

Of course 001 exists. Had I ever thought about it before the season? Not really. But of course he’s a fucking psycho with a violent past and is connected to the upside down. I know the fandom is split on if 001/Vecna is the better big bad villain, but honestly a person who has been twisted so much and revels in murder and truly believes he has the right to ‘remake the world’ is MUCH scarier than a disembodied monster doing whatever because it’s evil. The depths of humanity’s capacity for depravity will always be terrifying, and Vecna. is. terrifying. That monologue about how he’s special and he’s right and everyone’s wrong and he’s going to fix it all? Chilling. 

Again, there’s too much to say about this season - it’s just the perfect penultimate chapter. It gets all of the players in place, it plainly lays out the stakes, and it tugs at your goddamn heart strings. 

Basically, I just spent a month immersed in this show, and fuck I can’t wait to see how it ends. I hope Max survives. I hope Steve gets the ending he deserves. I want to see Nancy continue to be an incredible badass. And for El to finally own and completely control her powers, her destiny. For Hop and Joyce to finally figure themselves out.  And for things to end as satisfyingly as they can even if there’s heartbreak along the way. 

This year, it’s gonna be a Stranger Things-giving, and I really can’t fucking wait. One last adventure…

HEY! It’s that time of year where I yell about how good Only Murders in the Building is. 

I very, very deeply appreciate that for the past five years I’ve been able to count on a new season of this show appearing and delighting the fuck out of me. They churn it out quickly and it’s always absolutely wonderful and I always walk away from the season thinking ‘fuck this show is so good’

So here we are for me to once again say FUCK, this show is so good.

Here’s a thing that’s bothering me lately: the internet as a whole is salty as shit. Tell me why my algorithm keeps targeting me with disparaging articles about the things I love? I definitely saw at least a few posts when this season started about how the show has lost its step or its spark or WHATEVER and I’m honestly sitting here wondering, why can’t we just enjoy things anymore?? 

Why do we have to critique and hate on absolutely everything? It’s exhausting. So fuck the haters, I still think Only Murders in the Building is as good now in season 5 as it was in season 1. 

Wherein, the day after Oliver’s wedding to Loretta (aka Meryl Streep, which I’ll never truly get over) the gang finds out that Lester, the beloved doorman of the Arconia, has died in their courtyard, and it’s being deemed an accident.

The main players this time ultimately included 3 billionaires, a somewhat mobster and his wife and their stunted adult sons, the mayor of New York City, Lester’s widow, a hidden casino undeath the building!!!!, the new doorman, and a doorman robot. Because of course. 

I’m gonna be honest, the story arc was random as hell but that’s one of the things I appreciate about this show. There’s also so much going on that you’re not entirely sure what’s relevant or not. Is the fact that Charles is in a testosterone drug trial while simultaneously using the old people dating app, Last Gasp (which, LOL) important? Since when did Mabel seem to become buddies with Detective Williams, and does that matter? How is Mabel’s old frenemy-turned-major pop star going to fit in, if at all?

I just let all of it wash over me. I don’t particularly want to connect the dots, I never truly try to figure out the murderer, I just want to enjoy the ride.

And in true OMITB fashion, they had some extremely solid cameos this season. I’ve been lowkey obsessed with Christoph Waltz since Inglorious Bastards (haven’t we all been, though?) so I was extremely excited to see him, he can do no wrong. His creepy, anti-aging obsessed billionaire persona was perfection, while Renee Zellweger’s straight-laced billionaire rubbed me the wrong way as she’s wont to do, but that was also kind of the point, I think. And then of course, Keegan-Michael Key, who I also truly enjoy, was wonderful as a kind of parody on New York’s actual current mayor. 

Am I still confused about Mabel’s sense of style? Of course. Is Oliver still completely self-obsessed and subsisting on dips? Yeap. Does Charles fumble into another romance with a potential suspect? It wouldn’t be Only Murders if he didn’t. I love that they’re consistent. It’s comforting, and still just as entertaining. 

Also, with each passing season, I realize more and more how much I love Howard. Howard is an underrated character and I just want him to be happy. There’s an episode that focuses entirely on Lester’s time as the doorman of the building and it’ll break your heart for Howard and so many others. 

I love that the show is anchored by 3 powerhouses, but each season there are supporting characters that blow shit out of the water. The episode where Loretta goes full-on-ridiculous-character to effortlessly pull information out of Renee’s character even though everyone was doubting her and thought she was a little nuts? Flawless. She’d been doing silly characters throughout the season as she was ‘investigating’ with Oliver and they played it like her theatrics were a hindrance but she stayed true to her inner actress and she helped blow up the case. 

I appreciate the message that we’re all kind of insane people with insane tendencies, but also if we allow ourselves to BE ourselves, that’s where our strengths come from. They mocked Charles relentlessly all season for having an interest in magic, but it ended up coming in clutch. 

It’s lovely that the Arconia has grown throughout the seasons to become a place where people can just be whoever they are, and be accepted. It certainly wasn’t that way in the beginning, but it’s clear after this season that having murders happen in the building is actually a good thing. 

It’s all about growth, you beauties. And THAT’S why I’ll watch Only Murders until the bitter end. Haters be hating, but if murder is what’s going to pull you into a show that’s actually pretty uplifting, so be it. I’m here for it. And I can’t wait to see what happens in season 6.

HEY SO I finished a really giant piece of the initiative that has been sucking out my soul at work. Well, we finished as a team. Like, I really didn’t think we were going to but they fucking did it and that’s amazing. The whole thing isn’t DONE, not by a long shot there is still a ridiculous way to go but we accomplished something that’s been really eating my entire brain.

Which means that I stopped working at 3 on Friday and I decided to treat myself to a gummy and a good binge so I finally got myself into 

THE PAPER. 

Wherein an idealistic former toilet paper salesman, Ned, tries to revive a print newspaper in Toledo, owned by the company that had eventually purchased Dunder Mifflin. Unable to afford real staff, he recruits random people from other roles at the paper, and  the toilet paper company that shares the same office space and parent company, to become his reporting crew. 

I’m not gonna lie, while I’ve been grinding on this work thing I just put whatever on the tv in the background when I’m done for a while to decompress and apparently cable has started playing The Office literally every single day so like, it’s been my constant companion for a hot minute now. Which means I actually started The Paper a couple of weeks ago, watched two episodes, and then forgot about it. 

I was excited about the idea of the show being in the Office universe but also because I’m so entrenched in The Office right now,  maybe I couldn’t originally give it a fair shake, but I’m glad I got there. It’s definitely something you need to just watch through. Two episodes didn’t pull me in but once I started again and got to the catfish episode, they had me. 

The charm of it is definitely in the characterizations, I love a good bunch of misfits. Esmeralda is the frankly insane, aging Italian woman who runs the online version of the paper that’s entirely clickbait, who’s weirdly nursing her vendetta against Ned’s changes, while partnering with Ken, who works for the parent company and inserts himself into everything. She’s awful and VERY Michael Scott-esque with a dash of pure batshit chick thrown in. She’s fascinating. 

And then there’s Ned himself, who is fine for the first while. He’s passionate about the paper and he really wants to do a good job even though he’s basically a nepo baby and doesn’t really have the experience needed to turn the paper around. But he tries hard and he means well and he’s awkward but it’s not offensive. Usually I’m all about lanky gingers, though he wasn’t really doing it for me for a while, until they got deeper into his chemistry with Mare.

Mare, the only person at the paper who has actual journalism experience after serving in the military and reporting for their paper. She’s apathetic at first but once Ned gets her out on stories, she starts to come alive. The enthusiasm the two of them share when they crack a story together is adorable. They both just want to report the news, they want to do something important. They bring out the nerd passion in each other, and it’s really cute.

Even with that, to be honest, I’m not sure I was on team Ned until the man mitts episode. They bring out his secret salesman persona and it’s impressive but helps you understand maybe why he wanted to get away from it. It’s a layer the character really needed. 

I also think the gen Z romance between Nicole, a circulation staffer, and Detrick, a salesman for Softees, is hilarious. I don’t understand kids these days, I’m the old man yelling on his lawn forever, but Detrick turned out to be just a sweet kid trying to get into a relationship with the girl he likes. The argument they have in the finale is ridiculous, he gets called a dog for NOT dating around, and it just reminds me that I find the state of the world insane. But they’re cute, and I’m rooting for them to be the healthier-ish version of Ryan and Kelly. You need that kind of ride or die background relationship while we deal with will-they-won’t-they Mare and Ned. 

I can’t say that I’m SUPER invested in the Ned/Mare pairing, but I will say that after watching the last episode, I wanted more. It’s no Office Season Two finale, but I absolutely wanted to immediately start the next season. 

Also, AMEN for Oscar Martinez. When I saw he was going to be on the show I really wasn’t sure how that was going to work, but I appreciate that he tries to be the ‘straight man’ so hard before he gives in to the madness. Letting Oscar flourish by creating a new daily puzzle for the paper and writing arts and leisure stories is so satisfying. Oscar always wanted more, it’s so nice to see him get it. 

As far as debut seasons go, on the whole, it’s honestly fucking good. The supporting cast is strong even though I wasn’t sure how to feel about them originally, and they found their footing fairly fast. If you never made it through the Office because of the pure, sometimes suffocating, cringe factor (which goes away after like the 5th rewatch and it’s worth it to get to that point, I promise), this is absolutely the show for you. It’s got the heart, without the need to randomly mute for a while and hope you make it through the discomfort. They’re striking the perfect balance, and I’m so excited to see that.

Y’all. I would absolutely read the Toledo Truth Teller, and you should too.

SO I’m in a really gross part of the project I’ve been working on all year and it’s kind of falling apart a little bit so obviously I took a long weekend for labor day. Because like, my brain is honestly melting. A lot.

Which means that I went to the outlet mall today and bought a bunch of things I don’t need and then I ate a gummy and I put on

Thursday Murder Club 

And WOW that was super cute. Like, really good. The perfect way to spend two hours when there’s nothing else going on.

Wherein, four seniors living in a posh retirement community, Elizabeth, Ron, Ibrahim, and Joyce,  solve cold cases in their spare time, until a fresh murder drops in their lap, at the same time their home is potentially being ripped from them.

I obviously was really excited about this one because it features David Tennant. My Good Omens obsession is still very incredibly strong and clearly  I’ll watch anything that my favorite gorgeous human is in, even if he isn’t the star. But the rest of the cast is honestly impressive - like, what’s Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan doing here? And since when are we considering Pierce Brosnan old? How did I miss that? That man can still get it. A lot. 

Was I overly focused on David though? Of course. I’m giddy over getting an amazing David scream, and I love when he plays kind of an asshole (I realized I’m desperately starting to miss Tony Baddingham and that’s never good probably) and so this was a nice little taste of ANYTHING  while we wait for Good Omens season three. 

I know most people aren’t coming to this movie for that, but whatever, they should - the scruff! The ridiculous leisure suit! That one suit jacket! Hearing him yell “dickish reaction!” He’s wonderful. I miss him. 

But I digress. I know this is a book series, which I admit I have not read, but I can appreciate the tightly woven story. I never like to try and guess who the murderer is, I’m always going to ride the story out, and they really got me. 

Honestly, this is another good definition of ‘cozy murder’. I LOVE cozy murder. And it makes no sense because the entire plot is kind of devastating - Elizabeth’s husband has dementia and she’s losing him and her best friend (who helped her start the Thursday Murder Club) is basically a vegetable and their retirement community is being threatened by a money-hungry owner and the one person who could help them save their homes ends up dead. But through all that, the members of the club are just kind of excited to participate in a REAL investigation. 

They’re all still sharp as hell and they bring their own strengths to the club but man, Helen Mirren is an absolute BAMF. Eventually you learn Elizabeth was likely high up in MI6 and she handles everything absolutely ruthlessly. Maybe a little too ruthlessly, but then you see her interacting with her faltering husband and it just hits you in the guts. 

Overall, it was perfectly paced, there were a few twists I hadn’t anticipated, and the ending was bittersweet but absolutely satisfying. 

Also, y’all, I would watch an entire show of this. As a society we really don’t highlight seniors even though we’re all eventually going to get there. Everyone at Coopers Chase was just looking to continue LIVING, being part of a community, having friends, contributing. And I feel like we never really think about that. It’s a hard thing to consider, and maybe it’d be less so if we had more positive depictions out and about. 

But did it also fuck with my sense of time when someone asks Ron if he’s reliving his 80’s glory days? Yes. I still don’t think the 80’s were that long ago, I was born in the fucking 80’s. Don’t force that kind of stark truth in my face when I’m trying to enjoy a cute movie about old brits being clever as hell. 

What I really needed this weekend was to decompress and detach from all of the things I’m trying to keep up in the air, and this movie was perfect for that. Make more movies like this. Make more content like this. Pump me full of fuzziness and really good fashion and promise me you’ll get the guy. 

So yeah, if you want to settle your mind and create a new life fantasy of becoming a “bright-eyed, feisty old lady detective”, don’t sleep on joining this club.

Oh hey internet. Is anyone else having a shitshow of a summer? Like, work makes you just want to lay on the couch and binge feel-good reality shows because your brain can’t handle anything else? Just Queer Eye every night forever? (Which we should totally talk about, not gonna lie). No, just me? Cool. Cool Cool Cool. 

It hasn’t been all bad fam, I did get a promotion and that’s cute but like, I’m full on sweat smile emoji over here. And then, I remembered that my mom was coming down for a visit, sort of - she swore she was gonna go see my aunts and I didn’t have to worry about entertaining her and it was totally gonna be fine. LOL JK. None of that worked out. So I’ve been trying to keep her busy. Which, fortunately, gave me the opportunity to take her to see

FREAKIER FRIDAY. 

And y’all, I’m a much happier person for it. 

I shouldn’t have to explain this, but I will: 

Wherein Anna (Lindsay, mothereffing, Lohan), a 30-something single mom of a teenage girl is trying to marry her super sweet boyfriend (Jason from the Good Place!!!!) who’s a single dad to a teenage girl, while dealing with her very involved therapist mother Tess (the incomparable JAMIE LEE CURTIS), but it’s going not amazingly so a meddling psychic? Sort of? makes everyone switch places.

If you haven’t seen 2003’s Freaky Friday - why not? Were you in a coma? Did you HATE amazing early aught’s entertainment? Are you just a straight up bummer? 

My mom clearly hadn’t seen it because she was not that kind of teenage girl mom, so we watched it the night before we went and I very much recommend doing that. It’s still wonderful. Lohan and Curtis do an amazing job playing each other and the fashion will make you feel SO nostalgic (I really, really miss my studded belt) and it’s just fun and cute and it makes you want to try and understand the people in your life just that little bit more. 

Also, watching them back to back will help you recognize all of the little touches in Freakier Friday, which I appreciate. Anna yelling “make good choices!” when dropping off her daughter at school, and the entiiiiire plotline with Chad Michael Murray’s character and Tess. That man is STILL beautiful and I still think it’s super weird that he’s into the mom but it’s absolutely hilarious. 

Before we went my sister said that she’d heard it can be hard to keep the characters straight once they switch, but really, the thing to appreciate about this movie is Lindsay and Jamie Lee’s performances. That’s the fun of it. Watching the two of them wild out and play off each other - they have amazing chemistry and the comedic timing is perfect and they’re just a joy to watch together. Everything else is just extra, and you’ll get the gist of it even if you forget sometimes who’s who. 

I’ve said this a million times but I just want to see Lindsay Lohan get her life back together, and this movie is a return to form. Girl is still charismatic as hell and I will always root for her. As an elder millennial, I grew up with her - she’s like that friend that was always fun and chaotic and ended up going through the ringer. It’s nice to see her crush it again. I am SO here for her renaissance. 

There were a lot of moments in this movie that I absolutely loved - the date of Anna’s wedding being October 3rd (if you know you know), the scene where Lily-as-Tess is trying to get up off the floor and she’s saying her brain and her body won’t cooperate, Jake showing up to Anna’s wedding with a date that looks exactly like Tess did in 2003, Harper-as-Anna trying to seduce Jake based on Lily-as-Tess’s terrible advice, Manny Jacinto’s entire dance sequence, and all of the ridiculous FASHION. 

It’s all gold. And the overall message is nice too - you can create a new family, you can make space in your life for people that matter, even if it’s hard, even if you think you’re not ready for change. 

ALSO, this movie wouldn’t exist without a whole host of badass females. Writers, directors, stars obviously, it was made by incredible women and we need more of that. 

Basically, if you’re having as weird of a season as I am, this was two hours of just pure joy that let me disconnect and laugh and feel a weird sense of contentment. Y’all chicks out there, you know you need that too. Grab your best friend or your mom or your daughter or leave everyone at home and get your ass to the theater so you can ogle some dudes and enjoy some awesomely pure female dynamics. It’s WONDERFUL.

Soooo my job has been trying to kill me even more lately, which I didn’t think was possible, and also why I never got around to talking about the Doctor Who finale even though I have THOUGHTS, so I took a four-day weekend for this supposed holiday to try and come back to myself. And I’ve been planning for like a MONTH to use this weekend to go see 28 YEARS LATER.

Gang. The first time I saw 28 Days Later I was 20 and it was like 2007 and it blew my fucking mind. I was introduced to it by a dude that became incredibly important to me for a time and that viewing is such a core memory and so I was absolutely losing it when I heard Danny Boyle was reviving it. 

It honestly did not disappoint. But you probably need to be a super weirdo like me. 

Wherein we return to the UK 28 years after the rage outbreak that created a horrific zombie wasteland to find out that they’ve basically been quarantined and abandoned, because the rest of the world managed to stop the spread and kept on and basically just said ‘good fucking luck’ to any survivors. Which is very on brand. 

After a brief detour in the beginning to the start of the infection, centered on a little boy who sees his entire family slaughtered and then witnesses his pastor father basically offer himself up to the infected GLEEFULLY, the story centers on Spike, a 12 year old kid that’s  grown up in this apocalypse nightmare on a small island outside of Scotland with his dad, and his mom, who’s suffering from a mystery illness. 

I made sure not to learn a lot about this movie before going into it, so I wasn’t sure where we were going. But when it was revealed that Spike and his dad were going to the mainland (via a land bridge that’s only available during low tide)  for Spike’s first time I figured it was gonna be a whole hero’s journey thing where they bond maybe and then something terrible happens and maybe the infected manage to get back to their little island community. 

That is NOT what happened. 

They do go to the mainland for a bit, and Spike kills his first zombie - apparently we’ve got types now. In the first one, which I obviously had to rewatch last week, the thought was that maybe they’d all eventually starve, but no dice. Some of them have become bloated and disgusting and they mostly like, crawl around being gross and disgusting. So he puts an arrow through one of those but the zombie has a family and they almost get attacked and blergh you see like a little bloated child zombie and it’s just horrible. 

On the other end of the spectrum, the other infected are all wiry and emaciated but FAST and now we also have the idea of an Alpha, a zombie that’s become all beefed up and somewhat smart and has become the de facto leader of hordes.  And of course, they are much more difficult to kill. 

I mean, petri dishes are fascinating, and I’m surprised they haven’t introduced the idea that the outside world is trying to study what the fuck is going down in this wasteland but maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.

Spike and his dad to end up getting stuck on the mainland overnight after running from an Alpha and I was like ‘oh yeah it’s going down for sure’ but just kidding, they do manage to get back to their island even if the alpha almost does too, but is taken down at the literal last minute by the guards manning their wall. 

So I’m like ‘ok, what the fuck now?’ but while they’d been out and about, Spike had noticed a fire burning that his dad wouldn’t explain, and he learns from someone else that the fire was set by a doctor who’d been living alone out there. 

And here’s how I know that I’m probably losing my humanity - when it becomes clear that Spike is intent on taking him mom back over the bridge to try and find this ‘possible’ doctor based on one dude’s story, I was like ‘boo, I’m sorry, but it’s not worth it!’ The settlement has a clear policy about rescue missions, they don’t do that shit, and you’re 12, and babe, listen, if your mom is sick she’s basically going to die because y’all have literally no modern medicine left. It ain’t worth it. 

I clearly need to touch more grass. 

But they go anyway. And I won’t say a ton more than that. But it was interesting how jarring hearing about the actual rest of the world was for Spike, at one point, and how little compassion it has for the situation overall. 

And Ralph Fiennes was absolutely incredible. I thought the whole skull tower thing on the poster was just creepy artwork, but nahh, you guys. It’s real and fucked up and meaningful and creepy and I think it’s likely to play a bigger role in the next movie.

I read some reviews on Rotten Tomatoes where everyone complained about the ending, and I will admit I was like ‘what the absolute fuck?’ but you have to remember, Danny Boyle has a plan for a trilogy, it was never going to be a satisfying wrap-up. Was it completely ridiculous? Yes. But it brought us back to the opening scene and it tied in some easter eggs we’d seen throughout and it made me be like ‘I don’t know what is happening but oooh I want to find out’ sooo color me intrigued. 

The point is, I spent basically two hours with my hands over my mouth gaping and cringing and screaming internally because fuck it’s gory but also being impressed by how beautiful it could be and having a lot of feelings. 

For me, 28 Days Later is THE zombie universe. And I’m so excited to see it expand because honestly, at this point, wouldn’t a zombie apocalypse kind of be better? 

Is that fucked up? I don’t care. But for now, let your aggression out through watching an Alpha rip the head and spinal column out of some dickwad like it’s nothing - it will help, I promise.

EVERYONE, LISTEN: DOCTOR WHO IS SO GOOD RIGHT NOW. 

I’m currently really annoyed because Max removed a bunch of seasons of Kid’s Baking Championship while I was in the middle of one but that does not matter because seriously, Doctor who is SO fucking good right now. 

It’s that gif where 15 is describing something and he says something like “like WOW” I’m literally hearing it in my head. I’m fully 100% immersed and I love it.

SO - 

The Well

Wherein The Doctor and Belinda continue to attempt to get back to Earth only to land in the 51st century, playing along so they can use the vortex indicator AKA the vindicator to get a lock on their coordinates, hoping to pop off again, only to find themselves in a nightmare.

Ya know, usual Wednesday, or whatever. 

This episode was SO strong, you guys. You get some of the cute cheekiness, Belinda asking if they need to change clothes before leaving the TARDIS so they can play dress up again (to the tune of “Toxic” which, ends up being pretty on the fucking nose), and my favorite part, 15 clapping back at one of the soldiers who told him it was inappropriate to call him “babes”, saying “okay, hon.” CHEEK. And the exact interaction a woman would go through if they’d been the one to complain.

The Doctor clocked that fucking soldier from the jump. There’s always at least one misogynist asshole in the mix, friends.

Anyway. So they drop down to a planet and 15 tells them they’re there as like, secret shoppers, to make sure they’re completing their mission accurately or some drivel and it turns out the troop is there because there’s a base that hasn’t been heard from in over two weeks. So they go in, because of course they do. And they find a ton of dead bodies, as you’d expect, and a single heartbeat behind a locked door. 15 can never resist a locked door.

The creeping sense of unease was on point in this episode, y’all. I knew there was a callback to 10 but I didn’t know what it was going to be, and it didn’t disappoint. Turns out, they’ve landed on the planet Midnight, except like 400,000 years in the future to when 10 had been there and was almost mimicked out of existence by an entity he had absolutely no knowledge of. Like, what a DEEP cut. I love it. 

This time though, instead of the entity trying to steal your voice, it latches to your back and kills anyone who crosses directly behind you. Which is a fun new tact to try, I’m with it. Gotta switch things up, and all that. 

So they find that this poor cook, Aliss,  is the only one left on the base and 15 goes off to do his thing while Belinda tries to tend to the remaining woman’s injuries and then of course, it gets creepy because Belinda keeps seeing something and then the other soldiers are seeing something and it’s all just fear and paranoia and idiots start stepping behind her, and they die. 

The troop leader, Shaya, is trying to be as level headed as possible but guess what! Our favorite douche from earlier calls some protocol on her to try and take over because she’s listening to the Doctor and there’s a great scene where he’s moving around Aliss and everyone is screaming to try and get him to fucking hold still because she’s moving as he’s moving but like we’ve already established that if you go behind her you die and it’s chaos and tada! He gets caught behind her. Satisfying.

Anyway, the Doctor finally approaches Aliss to figure all this out and he can hear the entity whispering to him and man there was so close up on his cute mug while he listened to whatever it was trying to tempt him with and his face was devastated. Of course, we have no idea what he heard, but whatever it was, shook my boy, and I don’t like that.

BUT then! He theorizes that the entity is afraid of its own reflection so he has Shaya do some fancy shooting because the base was mining something liquid and she busts the pipe to create a liquid mirror, which separates the entity from Aliss and they run. I love when they run. 

Of course though, they can’t get away unscathed and before they can get out of the base, the entity attaches itself to Belinda. Y’all, the best part of this episode was Shaya sacrificing herself - she shoots Belinda to dislodge the entity which attaches itself to her, and she fucking books it toward the big giant mine and gracefully throws herself in. It’s amazingly selfless and she is an absolute badass and I love when random characters can shine. 

And so everything is fine, basically, except MRS. FLOOD shows up as some higher up that the troop reports to,  and everyone is annoyed about it. WHAT IS HER DEAL? She’s got to be a harbinger, right? Like, she must be working for the thing that The Toymaker alluded to? And the fucking Meep mentioned. She’s gotta be.

One thing I will say though; I liked the reemergence of the entity, but its original incarnation was more terrifying. Mimicking you until it eventually steals your VOICE? That’s definitely horrifying. But those uniforms though? Dope. They looked great the whole time.

Lucky Day

Ugh. Oh my god y’all, I kind of hated this one. Love hated. Hate loved? It was so ICKY. Stop making me feel things about society so overtly. I don’t like it, it makes me squirm. But also, wow.

Wherein, Ruby tries to get on with her life without the Doctor and meets a cute guy named Conrad that claims he met 15 when he was just a kid, and then saw Ruby with him while they were hunting some crazy monster. He gets him on her podcast and she’s obviously smitten and it seems like they’re gonna have a cute adventure together.

THEY DO NOT HAVE A CUTE ADVENTURE TOGETHER. 

I’m gonna admit it, they had me in the first half. They really, really did. Conrad seemed like a good dude who had a run in with the Doctor that changed his life. We’ve seen that before. Remember that time 10 stumbles into a support group for people who had an encounter with him? I have “Mr. Blue Sky” on one of my playlists because of that episode. Usually people who have a barely there brush with him are awed and are so wholesome.

So it was cute for a while, Ruby does his podcast and she’s honest with him about her experiences and they start dating. When Conrad had seen her with 15 they were fighting a monster called the Shreek that like, pukes on people to mark them as prey and then comes back to basically eat them, and Conrad had been marked and Ruby brings him an antidote so he’ll be safe and it’s nice. I’m like, okay girl, move on with your life, get it. Do your thing!

After their 5th date, he takes them to a village where some of his friends live and she wants to be normal but she starts noticing signs that maybe the Shreek has followed them, even though it’s supposed to be locked up at UNIT. So she does the smart thing and she gets Kate on the line for some reassurance and she declines their help, she recognizes maybe she just has PTSD and she tries to settle. And Conrad seems like the caring boyfriend until the power goes out and his friend goes missing from the pub and he admits that he never took the antidote that was given to him because he wanted to be brave like the Doctor.

So UNIT does get called in and Ruby goes out to try and find the random missing guy because they’ve seen a couple of Shreek’s now and even though she tells Conrad to stay inside, he doesn’t. UNIT storms in like their badass selves but something is weird because they’re not getting the readings they expect but everyone can SEE two Shreeks hanging out but like, something’s not right y’all and guess what!

OFF come the masks. It’s two of Conrad’s idiot friends in costumes. And everything gets horrible from there. He says the most fucked up shit to Ruby and he’s live streaming on his shitty podcast or whatever the whole time and he wants to convince everyone that UNIT is lying about aliens and protecting everyone? How does that even make sense? HE’S LITERALLY SEEN IT.

But he’s apparently a butthurt little white boy who never got enough praise and is trapped in an echo chamber and there is where I don’t appreciate being reminded of the state of the literal world because kdgskdskg it’s so close to what’s actually happening and it makes my fucking skin CRAWL.

So this asshole embarks on a mission to discredit UNIT and fuck them over and make a bunch of money for himself because he’s a shit stain and it’s just all really gross. Ya girl Ruby can’t catch a break. Why is it that the two episodes she’s basically helmed by herself have been SO heartbreaking? I really just can’t.

Obviously this idiot has an in at UNIT and so he uses his stooge to get access to the building but then he shoots the dude helping him because he’s literally irredeemable and he comes up to the platform where Kate and Ruby are to, what? Convince Kate into admitting the entire setup is a lie? Like, did he really think that was going to WORK? He knows it’s real! What the FUCK was he hoping to gain out of his stunt?

Here’s what I’m definitely here for though: Kate calls his bluff. She’s got the Shreek outside ready to be transported and she literally has no more fucks to give. So she lets it out. Because of course this idiot didn’t drink the antidote that would have saved him. She lets it loose, tells everyone to stay back, lets darwinism take the wheel. And I LOVE THAT. Was it morally wrong? Probably. Do I care in the slightest? No. People like that deserve the consequences of their actions. 

Ruby was legit like ‘don’t do this we should help him’ and that’s nice and she’s pure hearted but nah girl. At some point, we need to fight back. And Kate was fighting back. And she’s gonna sleep like a goddamn baby, as she should. Sometimes, you have to make the hard choices.

So this shit stain starts crying and begging and Ruby swoops in and tasers the Shreek and he has the BALLS to say something like ‘oh your special effects are improving’ but then mofo gets BIT and thank god. 

They throw his ass in a prison. And Ruby vows to try and get herself together, process her trauma, and I hope she does. 

But then, we see this fucking incel transported into the TARDIS to get a dressing down from a wonderfully smiling Doctor, saying “You’re special for all the wrong reasons” which is the understatement of the fucking century. But of course, the dickface just digs himself in deeper, even after 15 tells him he dies alone in a prison cell. He loves the echo chamber he’s chosen, and no amount of logic or opposing viewpoints is going to pull him out of it. He literally says “I reject your reality”. 

HOW THE FUCK DO WE DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT? How did we get here? How do we get out of it? This episode gave me no answers and it just made my heart really fucking hurt. All I can do in my daily life is try to put it out of my mind because there are no solutions right now. Seriously, how do we combat this? 

And to top it off, here comes Mrs. fucking Flood to let this shitbag out of his cell so yeah, I’m now convinced she’s got to be a harbinger. And all of it is gross.

Hate-loved this episode. Emphasis on the hate. But fuck if it wasn’t good. And I can’t wait to see what happens next. I’m gonna need y’all to build me back up, 15, because you brought me way the fuck down. Can we at least get a really satisfying, happy ending to all of this since I won’t get one in real life? I trust you boo, don’t steer me wrong…