whaletang

Carson & Greta Maxine & Esther Jo & Flo

As East Asian, I cried like a bitch in this scene. This three images were the perfect representation of how Asian family deals with trauma. If you don’t know, seeking counseling/therapy is basically frown upon in Asian culture. It doesn’t matter what it is, ppl will think you are a looney.

(Btw, in Korea when you go to a therapist THIS SHIT IS NOT PRIVATE. this will be on you PERMANENT RECORD as if you are some kind of fucking criminal. If you seek out therapy, EVEN A BLOODY SCHOOL COUNSELOR DURING MIDDLE SCHOOL, this will jeopardize you getting a jJOB/CAREER. Because no company will hire you!!!). I suffer from Long term stress disorder and my doctors recommended that i see a therapist. on my first therapy session, during ride back home, my mother flat out told me that she didn’t believe in therapy. and told me that EVERYONE HAS A BURDEN TO CARRY AND WE DO IT IN SILENCE AND STEADFASTNESS.

Sounds harsh right? But to the older generation, this is honorable act. to bare, and suffer for the family is something to be honored.

No matter how destructive it can be……

Many older generation Asian/parents carry this. they bare all the weight and don’t tell a soul the suffering they had to endure. 

So what happens WHEN they can’t bare it longer?

chances are, the oldest child of the family plays therapist. 

because the parents (ESPECIALLY THE MOTHER) has no one to lean on regarding such matter. They rather take their trauma to their graves then tell non-family members or a worst a STRANGER (therapist)

I am the oldest child of my family, I was my mother’s supporter, helper, her confidant and listener. I comforted her and listened to all the horrid, heart breaking trauma she suffered. She was also the oldest child of her family and she bared all the weight of the family. the difference between my mother and i, is that i grew up in west. i was told that speaking out my feeling/mental health is critical and important. and i seek out help when i wasn’t okay. meanwhile generations had taught my mother that seeking therapy is shameful.

so, us, the kids, who learned of emotional support and health, leads our parents out from the trauma.

just like how Mei is doing in this scene.

so yeah, this movie doesn’t tell trauma like Encanto. but that’s the point, every nation/generation have different way to deal with trauma. and turning red perfectly represented how west born/raised Asian kids deals with family trauma. 

“Many of my movies have strong female leads - brave, self-sufficient girls that don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They’ll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a saviour. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” -Hayao Miyazaki

We know that those family dynamics have a toxic undercurrent, and that frequently the culture does play a part. That the expectations put pressure on us when we are kids, and the conservative mindsets puts us at odds when we grow up. And we know that things can come to an explosive head or at the very least contribute to drifting away.

But that doesn’t mean we don't love our family. Which also doesn't mean we excuse them (sometimes we don't even like them).

If anything, the vilification really gets us steamed because there are points when it's implied that to love or forgive someone like Alma or Ming* means that one's being gaslit (not to say there are those who aren't) and by extension treats us like idiots.

*As many an ethnic kid has joked, you know that that Encanto and Turning Red is fictional because the matriarchs did apologize.

Importantly another reason we feel the need to stand up is because our cultures/communities get othered at best and vilified/attacked at worst. Which is why we'll lament a backwards element in one breath and take a swing at an outsider saying the same in another.

this is an EXTREMELY fun style to work in, and also

many of the most iconic romance novel covers you’re probably picturing when you think “classic painted romance novel cover” were produced by one prolific, masterful artist

Her name was Elaine Duillo, and she had a long and extremely productive career spanning from the mid 60’s to her retirement in 2003. She worked mainly in acrylics.

She did illustration work in other genres as well, but she really found her niche in romance novels. She pretty much redefined the aesthetic conventions of the genre, popularizing male models and male nudity and sexualizing men to cater to the female gaze in a way that simply wasn’t the norm before her work. You know Fabio? she’s the one who started using him as a model, and essentially launched his career. And honestly, just look at her work:

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

help.