Totally Fucked

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

People discussing ‘unhinged’ fanfiction always seem to talk about dark!fic or explicit stuff, as opposed to the truly unhinged stuff like the fic author zapping all their favs from a story onto a set, assigning them roles, and forcing them to act out popular movies. Because, let me tell you, I read a fic like that with the original Yugioh cast acting out Disney’s Aladdin approximately fifteen years ago, and it is to this day one of the one of the most unhinged pieces of media I’ve ever consumed.

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks

love wearing all black in public i hope no large gaseous heat emitting orb in the sky comes along and makes my day worse

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room

okay this is my favorite comment on this entire post

knew this woman who used to be a gay man and when he was a gay man he liked ‘ironically’ referring to himself as she/her and so when he came out as a woman he decided the next logical step was to also switch his pronouns to he/him.

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.