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Premise: Ten years. That's how long Shane and Ilya have kept their relationship a secret, from family, friends, media, and fans alike. But how long is long enough? Ilya is ready to go public, but Shane's apprehension causes a strife in their bond. It's time to decide what matter more - hockey or love? 🏆🏒💍

Here we go, The Long Game....*sigh*. I don't know how to feel about this book. Genuinely. Seeing all the praise and hype about it while we're crossing our fingers for season 2 had me go into this with high hopes. I was aware of the plane scene, the trophy room scene, and the "big fight" because you're bound to come across spoilers at some point. And on my initial finish I thought 'okay great, they're married and happy and now we'll have to wait for another year for the conclusion of Hollanov's story. But the more I sat and ruminated with it, the more it pissed me off. It's not terrible, but MILES away from how I thought it would handle the plot.

What I liked: Starting of strong, compared to HR's time jumps, this one's more grounded and actually has multiple things going on, rather than just two pages of a month in 2014 and then another skip to 2015 that's then twice as long (including a wall of text). Although that then compromises the length of the story but we won't talk about that.

Shane and Ilya's relationship is put to the test, and this is where the 'polar opposites' thing is re-instated. Polar opposites that somehow make it work and retain their love for each other. The callback to HR about how they'd get engaged and Shane being the one to go on one knee was a tear-jerker - and might I say, the lovemaking on the rug was and is top tier (but maybe that's just me being a lovesick wuss about intimacy). Ilya's decision to seek professional help to battle his depression, and Shane's perfectionism and fear of losing control over the internal / external parts of his life made me feel seen. And understood. Like 'hey, you're not alone. Help is possible.'

And the wedding. Say what you will, I liked the song choice. Sue me.

What I didn't like: A big part of how I saw myself in Shane's character was the way he handled conflicts (whether with his team, friends, or Ilya). And that's where I get angry. Shane spends the majority of the book tolerating Ilya's bullshit to the point where he somewhat snaps - the pomegranate scene. I'm sorry, but if my boyfriend of nearly a decade repeatedly gloated and made fun of my diet I would have lost it - like chuck the fruit against the wall and scream at him to stop -type of shit. Ilya knows Shane's reactions, is at least somewhat aware of his need for control, yet continues being a piece of shit, acting superior because he doesn't want to try the yucky boring performance diet.

It doesn't help that the Boxing Day fight follows. I nearly threw the book at the wall when Ilya shoved him against the wall - like WHAT THE FUCK? So your boyfriend doesn't want to go to a team hang-out that most likely will have the Centaurs and their partners questioning why Shane, of all people, would be Ilya's plus one. And your response is to snap at Shane for being (reasonably) concerned and then shove him against a fucking wall and potentially cause him harm?! And accusing him for not being supportive or sacrificing enough to their relationship- Excuse me?

1) Shane repeatedly attempted to get you to open up about your problems and seek professional help. Shane's concerns about anyone finding about the relationship are valid when you think about how your outing happened outside your control. And again and again. Can you blame him from being apprehensive, when the one thing that could be used against him that he can't control was repeatedly revealed before he could do so himself? And what does Ilya do? Brushes the concern off because 'you ask the same question too much'. He invalidates it because he wants to be out.

Another scene that drives the point home.

Ilya: Of course he was right to say no. We have never done anything like that before...I want to introduce him as my boyfriend to my friends. Galina: That would be an enormous step. One that would require some serious discussion beforehand, I would Imagine. *sentence skip* Ilya: 'But some days I think I'll scream or die if I have to keep this secret any longer' Galina: 'Does he know that?' Ilya: 'No.'

No! NO. Because these two cannot fucking communicate with eachother! And I understand that depression can color your perception of people's intention and interactions, but the least Ilya could have done was try to talk to Shane about it, instead of resorting to dismissal and arguing.

2) The main reason of moving and signing to Ottawa was for Ilya to get a Canadian citizenship, followed by getting away from his family, and then to be close to Shane. So to claim he did all of this just for Shane is bullshit.

But okay, Ilya by the end of the book comes out on top. He has a support system, a great team and friends, he enjoys playing hockey again, and is married to the love of his life.

And Shane? Shane spends the majority of the book fearing and avoiding any conflict that could out them to the world. And guess what? that fear materializes anyway! He's ostracized from his team, his respect and reputation crumble to the ground, and he's accused of slipping up because of Ilya. The place and team he'd dedicated his many years of dedication to now shun him out. The leopards are literally eating his face, and everyone around him scoffs and say 'stop overacting' 'who could've seen that coming?' He's the "selfish" and "overreacting" half-Asian autistic hokey player that "doesn't know anything about the reality of hockey"?! Give me a fucking break!

His ending is settling. He signs to Ottawa and doesn't even get a proper position. His diet is just forgotten about. His confidence skyrockets because Ilya fucked it into him. Settling for the fact his reputation and hard work had been ripped in front of him in real time - when his husband and best friends couldn't offer any actual support when they knew how much hockey meant to him. Talk about a support system. Okay I'm gonna stop before I throw this laptop against the wall.

Rating: undecided (I might edit it later when my mind's more clearer)

I'm not claiming anything, but I do (partly) believe the debate that Rachel favors Ilya. The constant cameos in the other books, him getting the happy ending without facing almost half the pain that Shane endured... I just hope that 1) Unrivaled better flesh out Shane's inner and outer struggles like Ilya, 2) season 2 tweaks the hair-pulling errors, Jacob I put my full trust in you.

Season 1 is proof you can make gold out of complete coal, so I'm praying this will be the case. I will now spend the next two weeks in therapy.

Some piece of shit journalist tries to stir shit between Rozanov and Hollander. The idiot decides to ask Rozanov's thoughts about Hollander landing Rose Landry and if this means Rozanov's no longer the ladies man, making some dig about Ilya not being relationship material like Hollander clearly is. The Metros are watching this interview during their team workout. Shane's there and just waiting for Ilya to make some rude comment but it never comes. All Ilya says is, "I would've guessed he liked Lilies more. Guess I was wrong." And that's it. He excuses himself away from the reporters and leaves. The guys are confused at the bizarre statement, none of them understanding and think it's some lost-in-translation thing. That maybe Rozanov's English failed him at whatever insult he was trying to make.

Shane feels like he's going to be sick, feels like he's about to throw up right there. The only one who notices Shane's face has turned ashen is Hayden-- who thinks that after Shane and Lily broke up, Lily wound up with Rozanov.

Dudley Vaill Talcott's 1929 sculpture Wrestler