Ni🪷📚

Premise: Pro hockey enforcer Ryan Price has recently been traded to the Toronto Guardians, while struggling with his anxiety. But determined to make a fresh start in the dynamic LGBTQ Village led him to rekindle an old flame with musician Fabian Salah. Fabian detests hockey, swearing himself to pursue or engage with any hockey players, but that doesn't stop him from growing closer to Ryan, his total opposite. Tied between two decisions, Ryan has to choose what matters more: his future with Fabian, or preserving his heavy duty on the ice. 🏒🎻📚

Treading onwards, I was scared of getting into book three given its reputation as the weakest in the series, bias or not. And while I can say the topics aren't as deep and uncomfortable as the later books, there were still some things I enjoyed. It also holds a place in my heart because I watched my brother pay for it as my birthday present, while I smiled at the check-out.

What I liked: Compared to the rest (HR and RM), this felt more like your typical 'guy meets polar opposite childhood crush and they form a relationship' romcom, M/M edition. I also liked how Fabian wasn't completely reduced to default twink & femboy stereotypes, like sprinkle in some stubble and a clean face and I'm here for it.

Ryan's relationship with Wyatt was also incredibly wholesome, it reminded me of a big brother - little brother bond. I love friendships like these.

When it came to the romance, it felt believable. Two people with a past that have nothing in common, and are willing to work on their problems to make the other happy. You can't get more romcom than that, and it had me giggling and kicking my feet at most of their interactions. And maybe the fight and conflict were rushed to ensure a happy ending, but again, it's realistic and also an example of two sides making valid points in their argument: Fabian's concern for Ryan's health in a sport he clearly doesn't enjoy, and Ryan's belief to suffer through the pain because why should he complain when he's where every wannabe hockey player dreams to be ("millions of girls would kill for this job").

What I didn't like: being exactly 300 pages, while not stretching the plot out too much, it does feel a little rushed in some areas; I would've preferred if they maybe explored more of what the Village had to offer, or maybe expand on Fabian's family instead of the brief "oh my family isn't accepting of me rejecting traditionally masculine roles, and they're dicks to my boyfriend".

But what really set me off (more than it should have) was the "oops" line. I kid you not, I had war flashbacks of 'here-it-comes-Shane-Hollander' and I almost threw the book off my bed. Like...I get it, you're on the tip of the iceberg and don't pay attention to what comes out of your mouth, but fucking oops?! Also Fabian's design on the cover still pisses me off.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5 / 5

My June reading wrap-up

A Short Stay in Hell (Steven L. Peck)

Role Model (Rachel Reid)

Tokyo Ghoul vol. 11 (Sui Ishida)

The Vegetarian (Han Kang)

Premise: Yeong-hye and her husband lived an ordinary, controlled life. But distinct nightmares drive Yeong-hye to renounce eating meat altogether. It's a small act of independence, but it sets into motion an increasingly grotesque chain of events; as her husband, her brother-in-law, and her sister each fight to reassert their control. Yeong-hye obsessively defends her choice, which sends her spiraling into a dangerous estrangement not only from those closest to her but also from herself. 🩸🌸🔪

Oh wow. Okay. I have never been as invested and equally disgusted while reading a book under 300 pages. And explaining to my family that I'm reading a book about a vegetarian suffering at the hands of her family after failing to comply to their standards certainly didn't help my...I'll use the word intrigue for this book. Despite it being short, it packs a punch and leaves you staring at the ceiling for the next ten minutes.

"Perhaps I’m only now coming face-to-face with the thing that has always been here. It’s dark. Everything is being snuffed out in the pitch-black darkness"

What I liked: The book can be taken in a literal sense, but where's the fun in that? The story being told by her three family members further paints the oppression and lack of agency Yeong-hye, or people who wish to break the societal mold, face. It's an exploration of how far a person can be dehumanized and mutilated by a crushing societal system until they're considered "inhuman". Yeong-hye haunts the narrative with her presence, like a breath on your neck every time you turn the page. Deafening but so quiet.

What I didn't like: The ending felt like being shoved into a never-ending room after being dragged and spun around for the entire story - an unresolved ending that leaves you disoriented and grasping at what the fuck you just read. Like, that's it?

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

Premise: Recently traded hockey player Troy Barret finds himself on the heels of a messy breakup, a scandal that will cost him his relationships, and a deeply-rooted fear of who he truly is. Starting anew in Ottawa comes with new teammates, and a loud social media manager, Harris Drover, that wants to help him "built up his online image". As their bond progresses, Troy sees an opportunity to finally embrace his identity and face his fears, once and for all. 🍎🌈🏒

Alright, book five. According to pretty much everyone with an internet connection in the bookish space, this is considered to be one of the best books in the GC universe (third to HR and TLG). And given I wasn't exactly blown away by HR (don't come for me), I kept my expectations pretty neutral. But I can say, I understand why it's regarded at the best in the series. It's not perfect, but its highs outweigh the lows by a hundred.

What I liked: 'A small change can make a big impact'. Troy's character development felt (mostly) realistic, especially given his position and mentality at the start of the book: a closeted hockey player that had just been traded to the worst team in the league. He's forced to confront the darkest and ugliest parts of himself, while also being offered a path to redemption. And I think Harris continuing to stick by him, believing he could change, and offering ways for Troy to express himself is another reason as to why I believe is the best execution of the 'redemption arch grumpy/sunshine' trope. Love to see a switch relationship, we're evolving in real time.

It also depicted the sad reality that while society has come a long way in terms of, quote on quote, "tolerating" taboo topics, there are still people that go out of their way to silence and hurt affected marginalized groups. Having the choice and autonomy to speak out is a privilege, one that too many take for granted.

Seeing Ilya as a prominent side character also gave me hope for The Long Game, given the two books are happening at the same time.

What I didn't like: Some of the antagonists felt very one-dimensional. Crowell and Curtis only exist to oppose Troy in some way shape or form (whether because of his sexuality or career), and even then, what do they achieve by the end? Crowell's "threat" goes nowhere, while Curtis fulfills the "asshole parent" role and gets no real added layer to his character. Maybe if the book tried building up some more complexities to his character, it would not come across as Troy was standing up to a cardboard cut-out.

There were also a few cringe wording choices, and a typo (?), that very much reminded me why the dialogue in HR was a hit-or-miss for me. But maybe it's just me wishing there would be an inclusion of stutters and filler words for that extra ✨realism✨.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐. 75

Premise: As a faithful Mormon, Soren Johansson has always believed he’ll be reunited with his loved ones after death in an eternal hereafter. Then, he dies. Soren wakes to find himself cast by a God he has never heard of into a Hell whose dimensions he can barely grasp: a vast library he can only escape from by finding the book that contains the story of his life. 📚

This is probably the shortest book I've read so far (beating A Monster Calls) for my book club, and oh wow this was a journey. Never in my life have I read something so quickly while feeling like it dragged on for eons and eons (whether that was the point, then congrats, it worked flawlessly in execution).

What I liked: The concept drew me in - a man that falls into a Hell where the only way out is to find a book that contains the story of his life, sign me up - and I can say it (somewhat) lived up to my expectations. How with each read you can literally feel time slipping, and the confidence of our main character slowly withering away as years pass was also nice to see. How desperation and madness can catch up to a person over decades of feeling like no progress has been made in an infinite-feeling prison. I especially liked the emotional weight of loving someone a thousand years; how spending an eternity in Hell with them soothes your soul because you found someone to share your pain and joy with. But losing it feels even more painful than in the mortal world. A tear-jerker, for sure.

"I think our love could have lasted forever. I’m sure it would have. She was so … no, I won’t cheapen it by trying to express it in words and short sentences. I loved her."

What I didn't like: While calling out the irony and short-comings of religions was needed, it did feel like a "See, all religions are flawed and now you have nothing to believe in." Even with my problems with Christianity, it felt like a weak generalization and justification as to why they didn't make it to the Afterlife. It would've been interesting to see Soren be surrounded with people who have done awful things despite their goodness-preaching Lord, but most of the time I just felt bad for everyone. The repeated mention of the inhabitants being white Americans also didn't help. I get it, it is supposed to be used for emphasis, but once or twice would've worked just fine.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐. 25 /5

My May reading wrap-up

Kings Rising (C. S. Pacat)

The Safekeep (Yael van der Wouden)

Malibu Rising (Taylor Jenkins Reid)

Tokyo Ghoul vol. 9. (Sui Ishida)

Tokyo Should vol. 10 (Sui Ishida)

Carrie Soto is Back (Taylor Jenkins Reid)

Premise: After holding the record of most-won Slam titles, Carrie Soto comes out of retirement to reclaim her title from brutal, but stunning, player Nicky Chan after the 1994 US open. Now at thirty-seven, Carrie must adapt and relearn her strategies if she wishes to come out on top. And if that means working with her father, a former champion himself, as well as the man she almost opened her heart to, then so be it. All in the name of winning. 🎾🏆

After reading Malibu Rising, I was left yearning for more. Especially after Carrie's cameo about three quarters into the book, which had me scrambling to find a copy of CSIB to continue the Reidverse. Aaaand...it wasn't bad. It didn't blow me away, but it also wasn't a complete let-down.

While extremely heavy-handed, it accomplishes what it's set out to do: give you a reason to root for this egotistical tennis-obsessed woman. And it mostly achieves that.

What I liked: I LOVE me a good sports book (I'm looking at you The Favorites and Heated Rivalry); and for what it's worth, CSIB delivers in getting the reader psyched up for the incoming competitions, the countdown, and how you almost feel you're in the arena with these characters - it's what kept me intrigued, despite the characters. The transcripts made the book feel more alive, especially since we spent so much time in Carrie's POV; it felt nice to just zoom out and take a breather before the next major event.

As previously mentioned, the message of the book is clear, and it did make me tear up at certain points - coming from a sore loser, who also has a hard time coming to terms that I can't be the best at everything. Sometimes you just need a good reminder that even showing up, trying, and losing is part of the experience.

What I didn't like: while the plot was quick and straight-to-the point, it gave me no time to fully connect with Carrie's character. Sure, the point is to establish her as an athlete that finds it hard to comprehend anything outside of her love for tennis, but even when she slowly evolves from her one-dimensional character, it felt flat.

Because we spend so much time reading about her being badass cold bitch, I expected there to be a moment where she just…breaks - sobbing, screaming, a full-body tantrum - given how she was brought up to only be the best and any expression of sadness or anger is seen as a "tantrum", but the closest we get to that is when she mourns her father, but even that is over before it even started.

Her relationship with Bowe was also a hit-or-miss for me. While it tried to be a slow-burn between two tennis stars, it just came across as Bowe trailing behind Carrie like a dog, even after she'd rejected him MORE THAN ONCE, and was a bitch to him for no reason. Even if they'd just remain friends in the end, the outcome would've probably been the same. Fuck romance, give Carrie some friends, the woman needs a broader social circle.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5/5