Though she would never say such a thing aloud, Charlysse was convinced that the King was not as good as he wanted everyone to think he was, and she found that to be pathetic. The part that sickened her the most was that the men surrounding the king had nerve enough to smile at her to her face after everything was said and done, after she had seen what they did. She would be lying if she said that she hadn’t thought about taking her children and her trusted handmaiden Eyme and making a run for it. Charlysse was surrounded by people she no longer trusted, and she hadn’t the slightest clue on how to handle it. Of course she stayed, where would she go? But the more the murderers smiled at her after everything, the more bitter and less trusting of them she became. She was steadily growing to hate them all, which only made her want to isolate herself further so she wouldn’t say anything she would later regret… she hadn’t known her own anger would ever be like this and it scared her.
“Indeed, for she’s very fast now too. I’ve no idea where she gets her quick legs from, her Septas and I have trouble catching her.” Charlysse said with a chuckle.
“The wedding planning is certainly important, you will have the most grand wedding El. One fit for a Queen.” She replied with a smile.
Upon hearing her, Charlysse nodded.
“I have never expected to force emotions out of him El, nor would I ever try to. He is his own person as am I and you are as well, we all are. Every marriage is different and I pray to The Seven that yours will be happy and peaceful. I know our king is not Adrian, and probably will never be Adrian, and I thank the Seven for that. Perhaps now I see that I cannot have Adrian’s love but I only wish for his compassion… but he doesn’t even have that to give me, does he?” Charlysse started tear up a bit as she held Eleanore’s hand.
“Yes, I trust that. I do.” She paused before lowering her voice, speaking in a soft tone… a near whisper.
“I can’t help but love Adrian, but it drives me mad that I love a man who had a hand in murdering my family. I’ve thought nonstop about what to tell the children as they age, why they’ll never see their aunts or uncles or cousins ever again. When I married your brother, I had no idea what I was in for… and…” Charlysse had to force herself to say it.
“El, I’m miserable. And I have been for a very long time. I’m unhappy, very unhappy. I can’t help but have feelings, and it all gets to be too much, I can only keep everything down beneath the surface for so long. I feel so lost and confused and angry and alone. How I felt only got worse after… what happened to my family. I no longer know who to trust, I see everyone smile at me or give me pitiful looks when I walk into a room and I can’t stand it… oh Gods I can’t stand it. I am the ruling lady of House Serrett… but how can I be when the ghosts of my family haunt me every time I close my eyes?”
Charlysse shook her head as she quickly wiped her tears.
“My apologies, this is very unbecoming of me. I did not mean to burden you.” She said, pausing before speaking again.
“I try my very best to do everything good El, but… it’s never enough, it will never be enough… especially to him. I’m starting to accept it for what it is, but it’s difficult to come to terms with. For it is all very tiring but I must keep going, keep appearances up… if not for my marriage then for the children. They do not ever need to know or see how much their mummy suffers everyday. I would never forgive myself if they were to see me in such a state and start to think of me as a weak woman or worse… resent their father, I refuse to let that happen.” Her eyes still glossy yet a look of determination emerged from the sadness.
IN ALL HONESTY, SITTING BEFORE the other, eleanore was well beyond possibly marrying the king. rather, she was fully set to marry him, engaged, more specifically. but to look her good sister in the eyes knowing very well the weight of her grief and choosing to inform her of such things seemed entirely inconsiderate. not because she cared for the tarbecks or the reynes but because she did care for charlysse. no matter how utterly joyous eleanore serrett was following the recent shift in her relationship with tyland, she could not find it in her heart to make this about herself. at least... she had not intended to.
a delicate laugh follows the mention of her niece's newfound speed, remembering all too well how quick aliza and edmund were as children. she knows, all too well, just where carynne had acquired her fast legs from. ❝ he loves you, charlie. in his own way, he surely does. ❞ though, she does not entirely believe her own words. it was easier to believe that her brother held his wife in some kind regard, cared for her in a way that bordered love. he was not a gentle man but adrian cared. he always had and he always would. there had been plenty of weight on him after the passing of their mother, carrying the slack their father unknowingly left behind during his stage of grief. of course, he remained present - never quite forgetting his kids. but even he was human and completely imperfect.
there is a visible shift in her demeanor upon the further words of the other. a sudden coldness that runs through her veins, carrying to the very tips of her fingers. eleanore's body tenses, hands resting on her lap hesitantly. her gaze drifts, thoughts running rapidly in a way that could only mean she was stuck at a crossroads. ❝ your family, too, were murderers. ❞ her voice is steady, tone soft and just barely above a whisper. a moment of silence weighs heavy between the pair before her gaze finally meets that of the other blonde again. ❝ my brother is not perfect, charlysse, but he is still my brother. and... he held no fault for the murder of lanna lefford - your family did, them and the reynes. ❞ fingers thread together slowly, carefully, as to to help keep her composure. eleanore was entirely good at remaining in character but even she was capable of defending her family with the unrelenting nature of the lannister lions, one she would become. a lioness, in her own right.
❝ i wish not add to your grief, i assure you, but just as you so fiercely defend your family... i must do the same. for my brother is no traitor to his king, he has only remained loyal to him, to his home, to his family, to you. ❞ a pause follows the slow inhale of a calm breath. ❝ you are allowed to mourn, you truly are. but... to speak as though you have no family left ?? that is offensive to house serrett. a house to which you were openly welcomed into, a family that cared - one that your children are a part of. is adrian not your family ??? aliza, edmund, my father... myself ?? are we not your family ? ❞ there is a visible speck of hurt in light optics, evidently tired of the constant vilifying of her brother. he was no saint but he was no traitor nor was he a monster.
her next actions are entirely composed and not at all sudden - eleanore stands, a solemn smile on her lips. ❝ you are no burden and you are most certainly not alone, charlysse serrett. ❞ hands rest comfortably in front of her flat abdomen, golden locks cascading neatly down her back. ❝ you must learn to be enough for yourself rather than for my brother. should you choose to learn anything from me, anything at all, let it be that. you must pick yourself up, hold your head high and decide that you are enough. ❞ her head shifts in a motion that calls for her to follow.
❝ there is hope for your marriage. ❞ that much was true but it would not be if the other remained on the path she was seemingly looking towards. ❝ but there will not be hope left if you decide to resent him for the consequences of another's actions. ❞