The Shit Between The Roses

Took me a while to identify what in the world the other brass was till I realized it wasn’t.

I’m cackling

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

[Morgan Freeman]“The moment he discovered his first Growlithe, Morgan Freeman realised he would never care about the real world ever again.”

your full name without an E,F,R,S,K,I,M,L,C,A,Y,N

(via gilbertbielschmidt, billie-joe)

D T OW