Unicorns and Cake.

your boner is looking radiant tonight my liege

Actually he wrote all the complaints himself with various sock puppet accounts to drum up sympathy subscribers to his Claytreon

I heard too many sounds at once and now I am a bitch

We're all one sensory overload away from becoming the strongest versions of ourselves

supervillain origin story: two conversations happened near me at the same time

all the photos of him are like this, I love that this guy understood he had been born with the face of a wizard or axe murderer and just leaned fully into it

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID????? Kindest regards, 

kids these days dont understand projecting your middle school anger due to being an outcast into vitriolic hate of justin bieber

ppl adding on about how justin bieber is actually a terrible person this is about drama between 11 year olds in like 2009. we didn’t know a single thing about the guy. your opinions were solely based on whether you were part of the 90% of teenagers who would cry if justin bieber jumped off a building or you were the 10% who would sit back with popcorn and yell “do a backflip”.

you ever have “cry and scream yourself awake” level nightmares that are immediately the stupidest premises imaginable the moment you actually wake up

The last time I wailed "help, please, help me, heeelp" loud enough to have the whole house come running, it was because I was having a nightmare that I was in my laundry room, and out of the corner of my eye I witnessed a Snoopy stuffed animal slowly rise up on two legs, as if being manipulated by a ghost or perhaps made animate by a possessing spirit, and slowly start to dance the Macarena.

I can’t stop thinking about this