𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙝

[sits there with her jaw dropped as she hears him rant about her Mario Kart picks] Damn, Wes.. that’s just cold. Here’s the deal, Jessica Biel.. my choices might be shit tier.. but they are my shit tier choices. Can’t leave the classics hanging. [pauses] Well.. Lakiboo isn’t actually my choice, for some reason Teddy loves him, so I sacrifice me winning to make him happy. [raises an eyebrow] You think I want to play with you after all this trash talking? I mean, you’d be right. I’d love to play.. but dang. Go a little easier on me next time. 

Jessica Bi- [Wesley laughs softly, already amused before her argument’s even begun.] You’re right, you’re right... Your Mushroom cup, your choice. [He nods solemnly, sucking in his lower lip to try and conceal his incoming laughter.] Okay, you know what? If it’s for Teddy, I’ll let it slide. But now that means, you owe me the truth. If you, Meredith Ross, were playing Mario Kart for you and yourself alone... top pick, go. [He scoffs, barely keeping his grin at bay.] You know what they say... play with Fire Flowers and you’ll get burned.

What’s this? [she picks up the drink that was in front of the other person and takes a sip. Without a moment of hesitation she makes a face and quickly slams the drink down. She shakes her head and sticks out her tongue to show how disgusted she truly is] Oh, my god. That is disgusting. Is that unsweetened coffee? Gross, how can you drink that? Why would you let me take a sip? [continues to shake her head] Ew. Gross. Nasty. Blech. Gross. Ew. Never let me take a sip of your coffee again.. ever. 

[Wesley glances up from his phone at Meredith’s question, and before he can even answer her, she’s brought his drink to her lips, which brought a smile to his own.] Sure, Mer, you can have a sip, I don’t mind. [He teases, a mischievous glint in his eye as he observes her reaction with interest. He can’t help but laugh at her outburst, taking the cup back and having a sip of his own.] I mean, I didn’t let you, you kind of just... helped yourself, there. I’d love to feel bad if I had something to do with it, but mostly... I’m kind of, uh, shook, you could say, that you don’t like black unsweetened coffee. [He gives her a half-shrug, expression now playful.] Well... I mean... you are a little kid, after all. Teeny, tiny... do you even know your ABCs?

wesley guzman as one of the five new and improved love languages; oranges

love to you is sitting next to your person, so you take out a mandarin, and as you peel it, you give them every other piece. no one says a thing, but you both know what’s bubbling beneath it all. you wanna protect your love, and you know that somewhere deep within you, like it’s branded on your bones. you wanna be a safe house in the middle of a war. you wanna be a lit up home at the end of the day, signaling to come this way. you devote yourself to everything you care for, you don’t know how else to want. you give your hand as an offering, you give yourself as penance. well, it’s all very:

I’m sorry, but Morton!? Listen to yourself, Wes Guzman– Morton. Morton is your go-to. Let me guess, Captain Falcon was your favorite in Smash too? Or Fox? Please. How boring. Use a princess! They’re pretty and they’re good. The ice climbers are annoying but they get the job done! [she rolls her eyes and waves a dismissive hand at him] Don’t judge me. Lakitu is good. Mario too– the ol’ reliable, you know? His name’s in the title– he’s the most important one. Without our italian plumber, there would be no game. It’s not Morton Kart, it’s Mario Kart. Get with it, baby. [she nods] Yeah. Plus, don’t you want your car to weigh less? Like, the last thing I want to do is weight shame Rose Gold Peach, but she’s heavy! Doesn’t that just slow you– down? [she stops and starts shaking her head as she realizes that there is a chance she might be wrong– that maybe the reason she’s been losing all these years when she plays online is that she goes with Peach – regular Peach – but she captures her essence, what else is she supposed to do? Pick MORTON!? Bowser? No freaking way!] No. No. I refuse to be wrong. I’m right! Lakitu, Mario and Peach are totally acceptable characters. [she stands up straight and furrows her brows] We’re settling this now. [she says, already starting to head to the back to the demo Switch] And I would play as King Boo– he’s a ghost. [she says, turning back around with her arms crossed]

[He scoffs dramatically, giving Debbie the most offended look he can afford despite how amused he actually is.] How... dare you. I’m obviously a Pikachu guy. Second best? Ness, hands down. Throw in a little Diddy Kong and we’re golden. I have to admit Peach’s butt slam is pretty overpowered. [Wesley gives Debbie a good old Z-snap, lips pursed playfully.] Lakitu is quite literally D tier, get out of my face! I wish it was Morton Kart. Mario’s fine, he’s a good “all-arounder”, but he’s not the best. [He tuts her.] Oh, no no no... Sweet, sweet child... The more you weigh, the faster you go. You also get less knockback when a dickwad decides to ram into your butt. Sure, the acceleration is slower, but in the end, you’re faster. The point is to win the race, not look the cutest while merely participating, jeeeeez. [He gives her a half-shrug, self-satisfied.] Apparently, you refuse to win at Mario Kart, too. [His eyes gleam with newfound excitement, following her before she even challenges him.] Oh, it’s on like Donkey Kong. [When they reach it, Wesley grabs a demo remote and hands it to Debbie.] You’re gonna have to stop sulking if you want to stand a chance at defeating me.

I’ve encountered it at a party once or twice, but I’m not like… usually friends with people who would pay for that kind of stuff. [she tilts her head at that, raising her eyebrows in annoyance] So basically, I have to play with plain Peach until I can get rose gold Peach unless I want to spend money.. Sounds bogus. [His own gesturing makes Eve gasp, and a grin spreads across her face as she reaches out to pet his arm.] Mmm okay pretty boy, you can be the exception. But you don’t even like King Boo? Or is he one of your faves?

Still. My point stands: one degree removed. Mario Kart is all around us. [He can’t help but smile as he watches her complain.] A cup or two, tops. Or... you could play those cups with an actually good character and make it easier for you to win the coveted Rose Gold Peach. [He mimics her earlier head tilt, in deep thoughts of his own.] I mean... I like King Boo as a character, as a concept... He’s just garbage in Mario Kart if you want to win. Way too light. I mean, he’s a fricking ghost, weighs literally nothing.

Non-gamers who hang out with non-gamers… none of them will even own a console to play with, let alone buy mario games. [Her eyebrows lift at his suggestion, and she tilts her head with interest] Rose gold, you say? And how would I find said rose gold Peach? [Evelynne starts towards the back of the store, but halts and turns to face him abruptly.] Wes, my love… Look at me. [She waits until he’s looking in her eyes before gesturing over herself] I’m pretty. Pretty people don’t care who King Boo is. 

Everyone knows someone who owns some form of Mario Kart somewhere... somehow. It’s impossible that you don’t. I refuse to believe it. It’s a universal fact that everyone is one degree removed from Mario Kart or whatever. [He purses his lips in thought with a slight frown.] I... think...? That she’s a random unlockable? Basically, finish a couple of cups and you should win her rather easily. Or buy Mario Kart 8 deluxe and you get her right off the gate. [Wesley stops in his tracks once Eve does, confused for a moment, before her following words make a smile play against his lips. He doesn’t skip a beat, though, and matches her energy immediately as he gestures over to himself.] Well, clearly, that’s a lie. 

[Evelynne throws her hands up and rolls her eyes.] Do I look like I play Mario kart for fun? I pick Princess Peach because she’s pretty and absolutely no other reason.  Weight means nothing to me, but it is a taboo topic at home so we avoid bringing it up. I do love gold though. How do I make her gold? [Evelynne absolutely finds his trash talk adorable, though it makes no sense to her, it’s one of her main reasons for even coming to the shop. She looks towards the switch demo at the back of the store and nods.] That sounds good, but those words and names mean nothing to me. 

Hey! I couldn’t know that because there is no set demographic for Mario Kart: it encompasses all. Mario Kart is like... the holy grail of gaming for non gamers. [He chuckles at her joke.] You just unlock the character and boom! Not only gold, but rose gold Peach at that. [He seems appalled as he listens to her, but he’s clearly joking around more than anything.] Lakitu, I understand. But King Boo? Really, Evelynne? Who... are you?