I have a core belief someone I know uses weaponizing incompetence, I just can't prove it, but still it is not possible for someone to be that stupid.
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@werewolf-draft
I have a core belief someone I know uses weaponizing incompetence, I just can't prove it, but still it is not possible for someone to be that stupid.

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Little is too short for you not pick on your dog.
Generally I am not one to do this sort of thing but I am proud of this one so here it is my self rec:
Title: Banana dawn
Summary: Enid had been too distracted to notice, had allowed herself to believe, the endearing whispers of a disaster tale she refused to ignore, becoming even more entangled in her misfortune. Far from being an accident, it was all deliberate, and she only had herself to blame. All because she had dared to hope, dared to give an unlikely friendship a fair chance, only to be stabbed by her treacherous heart. Sweet pain. Staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, Enid let sink in the horror that the petals adorning the floor so morbidly beautifully represented for her future.
Or lack of one.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/88561761
I am cold so I am cooking something.
Do I have fans? I don't believe so. I don't think there is a person around the world waiting to get a notification of any of my works.
Does this make me sad? Not really, I am genuinely okay with my insignificance. I am actually more sad that I don't have a writing rival than anything.

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Hate sending emails.
Got two positive responses yeah :D So far, so good.
Hate sending emails.
I get really disappointed when I went to check a ship tag and discover not only that it’s a rare pair (I can handle that I am a big person), but that the major number of the few fics available on the tag are some variation of a threesome.
No I am not going to demonize poly ships nor I am some sort of prude (I don't really care about smut because I prefer plot over it not because of any other jerk reasons). My complay is that, in this specific scenario (Unless is a very specific ship with a already established poly tag) this mean (in my experience) that the ship I'm searching content is viewed as a side ship (a less important pairing) rather than a true pairing ship. Which is sad for the little old me, worst of all this also implies that there aren't many active authors writing for that ship as a true pairing, so the fandom is basically a ghost town where I have to hunt around in the dark for any sign of life.
This forces me to do what any reasonable person should do insted of simple complaining about it, which is create my own content. So yeah, I am writting for this ship, like a madman on cocaine, because I am crazy and starving for a very specific sandwich not a lasagna so I am cooking my own food. Would I like to go to a restaurant every once in a while? Sure, but I can't force people to cook for me (when by chance I am surprised with a unexpected nice meal I become beyond myself. I praise the hell out of the author, kudos, bookmark, everything they deserve and more!), so I just continue with my life, and try my best to feed myself.
But like, on the good side since I am in this one-sided rivalry (because it is just in my head I am not attacking anyone nor there are people trying to get to me. They don't even know I exist so), every time I update the ship tag and see a threesome/orgy tag (read this as just straight porn, but like again I am not a prude I am just indifferent about reading smut!), this is the good fuel to make me write more. So in sort of one-sided competitive way, they are motivating me, so like... thank you for your service? I don't know what to say, I am just recounting the facts, and this post actually stopped making sense... or not, I am sleep deprived and just rambling during a class I am not paying enough attention to so forgive me for any inconsistencies in my speech.
I think the lesson here (if there is one) is like, write what you want to read. Good, bad, crack, slice of life, fluff, angst, smut, write anyway. There will be a little gremlin like me that is totally into it. But like even if the gremlin is yourself just do what you want, I am not the boss of you.
Disclaimer: To be clear I have nothing against poly ships. Do I read them? No. But not because I am against poly people, it is just because I have a very specific ship dinamic and none of the poly ships I have come across happened to fit that dinamic (I have to ship all the members, together, they have to be connected to one another for me to be able to ship them, otherwise, my brain is just like: no, but thanks?). If I only like a duo I will only consume content of that due. That simple. There have been times when I’ve shipped a single character with multiple other people (which is rare may I add), but that was because each of the indivisible duo fit into my shipping dynamic, but they lost it if the moment they become a throuple (in my brain, I am talking about me, and me alone! Do not decontextualize my words!).
You know, I am okay with the lack of external validation which doesn't mean that I am indifferent to receiving it. It is quite nice once a while.
I think the thing about me is that I reject so much the notion of being easily frustrated to the point I can feel the frustration building up in me but no one will gonna be able to tell because I show no signs. I just kept swallowing it, leaving the feeling there, and dealing with it internally instead of expressing it outwardly.
But I do have a breaking point, because everyone has a limit (When I'm on my own, I just take a 15-minute break, drink some water, do anything else, and then come back with a refreshed mind, but that isn't always possible). So when I thought the coding class had finished I was relieved, ecstatic even because I managed hold my frustration with the subject back enough to be able to learn quite a chunk. That was until my professor suggested for me do five exercises AND THEN we would finish it.
I couldn't accept this.
The thing is, I hate coding, but I have to learn, and I actively was making a mental effort there. But I was making a effort uninterrupted for 2 hours and 30 minutos (No breaks!). My brain was deeply fried. So I just looked at him straight in the eyes and said 'No, I will not do it'.
I think he thought I was procrastinating (I was not) so he insisted for a bit encouraging me to try (I am not lazy, that was not the problem). So I had no choice, I was forced to voice my frustrations in the only way he would get it by saying 'No, you don't understand, I want to punch you. I have being restraining myself from punching you since we began, I can not guarantee I will be able to hold back anymore if you give me more work.'
So that was how he decided to release me from my suffering and give me homework for the next day instead.

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I will be eternally fascinated by people that consume literally nothing of the original material yet read fanfics about this two specific bitches just because of the vibes.
My goal as a fanfic writer slash lunatic is continue to write whatever comes to my mind about this specific ship until I annoy someone so much they become my writing rival in the hopes of dethroning me and I am no longer alone updating regularly in the ship tag.
The thing about fanfic is that one I am crazy. Two I am unhinged. Three I have no impulse control regarding my writing so yes, I write what I want regardless of the consequences or public perseption about myself. And sometimes what I like is a weird fic about frogs and people will have to deal with it.
Someone liked my crayons :D I am not necessarily happy but it is good to be appreciated.
Free will is better used when ever time I saw someone posting any AI garbage I can just block them.
No takes backs.

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Thinking about doing some art for pride but we will se if I manage to get my crayons until the end of the month.
Me buying a birthday present for a relative even though I know they won't buy me a present in return because I am tired of fighting and just want peace.