Wendy Augustina

The first 8 months, I wrote with my eyes, with what I saw. How a writer preserves art no artist can capture. How a lover from the future can be anyone right now. I wrote about the empty spaces I saw inside me. I saw how writing must be used wisely. How you can be different by your poetry. 

I write with anger sometimes, but it always ends up so messy.

One of my favorite things to do is to extract poetry from Taylor Swift Songs. Like her, I like to write a story behind another.

I wrote about the things I had, and the things I never had and wouldn't like to have. The things I would risk my own soul for, an early goodbye for my leave I don't know when would happen. I say "learn to determine the guides from the signs",but sometimes guides mislead.

Am I happy?

Oh yes I have people I want to be in the same home as me. I learned to expect the worst and let the best happen. I've let go of some anger.

But I still don't know myself. I still . . .

Feel that somethings missing

By ; Wendy Augustina

Remember when you said

"Maybe one day

I'll meet someone

who looks at me

and sees forever"

People look, stare snd observe

Most people just take a glimpse and go away

But there are some eclipses that occur

And part again for another day

"Parting is such sweet sorrow"

No. Parting is sorrow and worse.

There's nothing sweet about letting go.

So maybe one day, you'll meet someone

Or maybe that day already came

How do you know if love is summoned?

Or maybe it's still in a cage

I know there's a star out there,

a line or whatever

And an eclipse will happen,

you intersect together

And when you do,

May time freeze and may the line end

I hope you'd never feel the bleeding

made by that blade

There's a star out there,

that sees you as their universe

She's out there, and calls you "My Cosmos"

Dedicated to : Vlad Cosmos

By ; Wendy Augustina

"Migo, I love you"

"I know," he answered.

We're both in his silent room. No parents in the house, we're all alone. There's just me in his bed and him, holding a rope. The air is still, but my heart is not. I'm scared, I've never done this before. And surely I'd never do it again. My hands are shaking, and I can't stop it. It's just Migo, me and my spine-chilling idea that can lead to both pain and ease.

"Hey, it'll be okay. I won't hurt you. You know I'd do anything but hurt you". His voice, it's home. His smile, it's sunshine.

"Please be fast," I told him. Worried his parents might be home soon. With a smile in his face he answered me with a question, "Do you know how to get away with murder?"

I felt a tear run down my cheeks."Migo, I'm sorry. I really am. I'm so selfish I know". My voice is weak. I'm crying.

"You are". His face turned downwards. He started crying too.

"Well it's now or never" he got up and held the rope tied to the ceiling.

"Migo, please-"

"PLEASE WHAT?"

I took a deep breath, I knew I'd feel like this. I don't want Migo to go, he's my best friend. But at the same time, I want him gone. Forever. Because yes we're inseparable because he's in the spotlight and I'm the shadow. He's always in the fcking spotlight. Even in my own household. So I did the most unforgivable thing ever, asking him to depart from this life for me…

"Go away Migo, rest now" I managed to say those words. But I know it's not me talking, it's the strong feeling of anger inside me.

"I lived for you, everyday. Did you know that? I get up everyday in the morning just because I want to see your face. It's just right I do this for you, in that way, you won't hurt anymore. Right?"

"Migo… please"

ʇɐɥʇ ǝʞıl ʇsnɾ oɓ ʇı ʇǝl p,ʎǝɥʇ dn pǝʞɔɟ os ǝɹ,ʎǝɥʇ

-

By ; Wendy Augustina

Who knew things could change over night?

Who knew one day im trying the next im dying

When I was a fallen warrior, lost all will to fight

You were the first one to tell me "keep fighting"

You've seen me live my best life

At happy family dinners, study dates and sunset roads

You've seen me try to take my own life

At the kitchen, by the sea and that one time by the road

after all, you're still here with me

in me

The man in the painting will remain in the frame

I can only stop dwelling in dreams and understand it's only been me all along

I painted the picture, and no one ever came

But the thought of him being real, and holding me all night long

after all

who knows, things can change over night

-

By ; Wendy Augustina

Why do women always take so long in the bathroom? What's with bathrooms and womens anyway? Dont get me wrong, I love my wife but I think she loves herself more. She takes so long in the bathroom admiring herself or whatever she's doing in there. And me? I'm an impatient man. What a match huh? A woman with such sarcasm and me, someone who easily gets annoyed. Sometimes I wonder how we ever came to be. But I love Avyanna, and I'd do anything for her.

"Avy sweetheart hurry up we're going to be late!"

She opened the door and came outside wearning a white top with casual pants. She smiled at me and looked at herself in the mirror.

"You look good Wordsworth" she stated.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. She always gets me, every single time.

"Darling we've been married for 3 years, and you still call me by my last name?"

"Oh" she looked at me. "Love. I was talking to myself"

Dedicated to : Avyanna Thea