Scrubs!

“Ahh. Uncomfortable silences and alcohol. Just like thanksgiving at home.”

“You have no chance of being normal.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to come to me with stuff like that.”

“A person doesn’t have to be perfect to be exactly what you need.”

“It’s the kid inside of us that keeps us all from going crazy.”

“I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”

“Nothing’s worse than a ninja - they’re masters of every style of combat.”

“Have you been in the supply closet, crying?”

“It sounds like you’re asking me out on a man date.”

“There’s a good chance I’m gonna kill someone.”

“The only way you could be more useless right now is if you actually were the wall.”

“Gosh, now I’m too proud of you to be mad at you.”

“Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies.”

“Sometimes it feels like you’re holding back.”

“All you do is bitch about your relationships all day long!”

“We’re only four seconds in and I’m already regretting my decision.”

“I can’t believe you lost our bottle opener.”

“I think we both know there’s a little more to it than that.”

“Does this lipstick make me look like a clown?”

“Why don’t I ever listen to me?”

“Well isn’t that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day.”

“Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“I can’t help but notice you love telling jokes.”

“Do you want to be alone?”

“You’re telling me that you actually made a decision that had a positive impact on your life?”

“Can you get that for me? I can’t reach it.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“I refuse to be judged by a grown man wearing a hockey jersey.”

“That was my mistake. I keep forgetting that you’re a horrible, horrible person.”

“Why are you so afraid of loving me?”

“Do you want to cry a little?”

“Why do you have to jump out and scare me all the time?”

“What do I know about good relationships?”

“Newsflash! You can’t drink and then come to work!”