A Weird Pilgrim

raising my son on a strict media diet of Portal, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Mythbusters in an attempt to resurrect the extinct species Pre-Gamergate Smug Nerd Boy

I'm not mourning my teenage years because i falsely believe all girls have a magical adolescence I'm fucking mourning it because i didn't get to be a real person. I'm really fucking glad you can talk about how being a teenager wasn't perfect, i didn't exist.

One particular turn of phrase I find amusing is when you beat someone badly enough in something (usually a competition or some sort of debate) you say they are “owned.” I find this phrasing interesting and it doesn’t make me horny even a little bit

imagine if werewolf knots were square

this is the first ever time I've been fucked by the dairy queen

I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀

if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning