Brains In a Vat

Hi guys!  I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve done a recap.  I actually did a Freddie recap that got deleted when I switched computers, so we’re starting from scratch here.  The good news is, since this is a Freddie episode, it also features our favorite girl.

The episode opens on Freddie’s who’s at the skate park (Dame Emily Skate Park in Bristol, if you’re curious).  The way that this opening is shot is really beautiful, full of sepia tones and slightly trippy, Venice Beach in the 70s type editing.  Freddie looks totally at peace in this moment.  He’s in control.  Nobody is making demands of him and he doesn’t need to make any decisions.  He can just be, something that becomes a central part of his character arc.  However, his inner peace doesn’t get to stick around for long.    

The scene switches to Karen.  She’s sitting in the McClair’s living room, being interviewed by a camera crew for a reality TV show.  She give an earnest soundbite about how her involvement on the TV show is for her dead mum, which seems sweet until the scene cuts to her performing on the show and we realize it’s a heavily sexualized singing competition called “Search for a Sexxbomb”.  She sings a hilarious song called “Juicing Down,” apparently about getting her boyfriend to have sex with her.  Fat Segal is a genius for writing these songs.  They’re absolutely perfect for the type of group the Sexxbombs apparently are and they’re really catchy.  

Freddie comes home to the sounds of the TV, and immediately his mood changes from peaceful to frustrated.  He looks at a picture of his family before everything got fucked up, when his mum was still alive.  He reaches out and touches his mother’s face on the photograph, and it’s a really tender moment.  

It turns out that Karen is watching reruns of the most recent episode of “Search for a Sexxbomb”.  Freddie demands to know how Karen can watch this again, since she knows the outcome, but she calls him a cockhead and tells him to shut up.  “Do you think I look hot?” Karen asks Freddie.  Freddie tries to back out of the question, since he knows there’s no winning- “Don’t be twisted, you’re my sister”- but Karen isn’t having it and calls in their dad so that she can get what she wants.  She doesn’t even have to turn around to know that he came running and is there to support her. “Freddie says I look ugly,” she pouts.  Freddie’s dad corrects him very matter-of-factly, “she doesn’t look ugly, she looks sexy.  Tell her she looks sexy on the television. Go on.”  Freddie relents, and Karen looks very self-satisfied.  It’s clear that this is how the dynamic in their house has been for a while, maybe since their mother died.  Maybe Mr McClair feels like his daughter’s happiness is more important than anything else because he’s afraid of losing her the way he lost his wife.  Karen on the TV again mentions that her performance was for her mum, and that she’ll love her mum forever, which is the final straw for Freddie.  He appeals one last time to his dad, but it falls on deaf ears, so he storms out of the house.

Freddie heads to his shed, looking for a moment of peace and quiet in the tumult of his home life, but the universe has other plans in mind.  Sitting in his garden, looking tired, with no makeup on and disheveled hair, is Effy.  This is interesting to me, because Effy’s not in post-party mode.  She woke up that morning, got dressed, made the decision not to put on makeup, and then went over to Freddie’s house.  This is her in a very vulnerable position, something we haven’t really seen up until now.  

Freddie is confused and a tad amused, “you’re in my garden.”  Effy’s not ready to show her cards yet, and it’s clear she didn’t think about what she would say if she got this far.  She’s not her cool, confident, collected self.  She’s a girl who likes a boy, and she’s nervous about it.  “I wanted to what was in your shed,” she comes up with.  Freddie seems no less confused, but Effy’s decided that this is what she’s going with.  “Everyone says you have a marvelous shed… it’s… marveled at.”  It works, because he lets her in, both literally and figuratively.  He makes room in his oasis of peace for Effy.  I think he knows that she needs it just as much as he does.  

She looks around, taking in all the little details of Freddie’s life.  She ribs him a little bit, “what do you and the boys do in here? Braid each other’s hair and play soggy biscuit?”  And he jokes back.  I think this is a really nice moment, because it’s a side of both of them we don’t really get to see.  Effy is nervous and out of her element, and Freddie is making jokes and being fun.  It’s a really sweet little scene, and I wish we’d gotten to see more of this over the course of their relationship.  Effy’s not quite comfortable, so she offers him a spliff to lighten the mood.  As he rolls it, she keeps looking around, finding (among other things)  a bottle of his piss, which she is none too pleased by.  “I wasn’t really expecting guests,” Freddie protests, and Effy is willing to look past it.  “What do you normally do? Put out doilies?” “Well, they do keep the cups clean,” Freddie says as he hands Effy a spliff. 

 He watches intently as she takes a drag, eyes closed, calm for the first time this scene.  He’s transfixed and utterly in love.  “Thanks for letting me in,” Effy says. “I know it’s weird”.  And I don’t think she means just into his shed- I think she also means into his life and into his heart.  Freddie tries to play it off, “it’s whatever, you know?” and then immediately falls into a coughing fit.  Still trying to be cool, he manages, “it’s cool, you know? It’s cool.” Effy is undeterred.  She’s on a roll being brave and she’s going to say what she needs to.  “It just seems like a good place to hide,” and again, it’s not about the shed so much as it is about Freddie.  He looks pleased that she sees him that way, and she smiles back at him.  She was vulnerable and told him how she feels and it went okay.  He’s not running.

Suddenly their tranquility gets interrupted.  Cook bursts in, hitting the punching bag, talking about “this skinny Asian fucker at the Green, body popping on a bit of Lino. He’s got a little sign saying “Anwar, the Magnificent,” right? He’s busking, making cash money, so I said to him if I can join in, and he says do I know the Buddha Buddha Cheese Buddha routine…” He’s on a roll talking about Anwar while JJ tries to draw his attention to the fact that they have a guest. JJ knows that they’re interrupting something.  Perhaps Cook doesn’t want there to be something to interrupt.  He doesn’t want Freddie to be doing something without him.  Finally, Cook acknowledges that Effy is there.  All is not what it seems, and it makes Cook uncomfortable.  If Effy and Freddie are hanging out behind his back, Freddie might choose Effy over him.  Cook can’t let that happen- he needs to be the most important person in Freddie’s life.  He walks over to Freddie and steals the spliff from his mouth before Freddie can take a hit.  This is Cook’s way of asserting dominance over Freddie, of letting him know that it’s not so simple as disowning Cook and choosing Effy.  Whatever Freddie wants, Cook can always take away from him, whether it’s a spliff or a girl.

JJ tries to break the tension by welcoming Effy to their “fortress of solitude”, and it’s an interesting callback to earlier in the scene, where Effy is telling Freddie that it seems like a good place to hide.  For her and Freddie, it was a fortress of solitude until Cook and JJ showed up.  Now it’s just a place where they have to deal with the uncomfortable realities of relationships and friendships instead of a place to escape.  JJ bangs on about the Sexxbombs and Karen’s costume, which “defied the laws of physics”.  Cook has his arm casually around Effy in a way that he’s never done up until now, and Freddie is glaring at Cook for barging in and taking what he wants.  This is a step too far for Freddie, and the question now is- action or inaction?  Is he going to let this go, like he’s let everything else go?  Or is this finally the moment where he’s going to stand up for himself?  Freddie has his spliff back, but only after Cook was done with it.  He can have the crumbs, but only after Cook is finished.  

JJ decides that he can break the tension once and for all, and asks for the spliff.  He flips it into his mouth, drinks from the “piss” bottle, and then flicks a lighter to ignite the whole thing so it looks like he’s breathing fire.  It should be noted that Kaya, Jack, and Luke had no idea that this was part of the scene, and so their reactions are totally genuine.  This is JJ’s way of being able to compete- with Cook’s bravado, with Freddie’s quiet charm.  Freddie asks JJ how long he’s had the bottle planted there, and JJ says “about eight months.”  This is interesting to me.  I’m curious why he put it there in the first place and what he was waiting for to show off that trick.  He looks very pleased with himself because, for the first time all day, Freddie and Cook aren’t fighting, and even Effy is impressed with him.  He’s successfully broken the tension and things can go back to normal, which is what JJ wants more than anything else.  But it doesn’t last too long.  

“After all that excitement, I fancy a spunk.  Are you coming, Effy? You soon will be.”  The tension hits like a brick.  Freddie goes back to looking angry.  But Effy is being brave today- she’s ready to stand up for what’s important to her.  “I’d sooner fuck JJ,” she says, which is admittedly cruel, but JJ takes it as a compliment, so it’s all right.  What she’s really saying is, “I’ve made my choice, Cook, and it’s not you.”  Cook doubles down, trying to explain the joke, but Effy isn’t having it.  “I got it. Freddie and JJ got it. That termite over there got it.  But you’re not going to get it. Got it?”  She puts as much anger into it as she can muster, but it’s still not getting anywhere.  “No, I’m confused,” Cook says, and I think he really is.  He doesn’t understand why this girl who’s a “sure thing”, as he said a few episodes ago, would refuse to fuck him now.  I don’t think he understands what changed.  “I’m not going anywhere near your crayola dick,” Effy says, “I know where it’s been”.  And this is interesting too, because the reason Effy doesn’t want to fuck Cook isn’t really about Pandora.  But Pandora is an easy excuse, one that doesn’t force her to outright admit her feelings for Freddie, so she goes with it.  I think this is also her way of calling out Cook on all of a sudden being possessive over her.  If he can fuck Pandora, her best friend, she can fuck Freddie, his best friend.  It goes both ways, but Cook doesn’t see it like that.

Cook finally realizes he’s not about to get laid and tells Effy to, “piss off, then.”  Effy looks confused, kind of like “how dare you tell me what to do”.  She looks around expectantly, hoping that Freddie will come to her defense, but Freddie is realizing that there was more between Effy and Cook than just that first day of school.  If Effy’s still fucking Cook, then why did she come to his shed, to spend time with him?  If she loves him, why can’t she just love him?  For Freddie it’s that simple, and I don’t think he understands why for Effy it’s not.

Then Effy looks at JJ, hoping he’ll say something, but he doesn’t, either.  She leaves in somewhat of a huff.  Freddie watches her go with sadness, Cook with anger over being rejected.  Freddie goes to chase after her, but Cook has the upper hand now and he knows how to shut it down.  “Mate, try to stir my porridge if you want, but I’d say even Jay’s got a better chance than you.  I mean, when was the last time you breathed fire?”  Just like with the spliff, what Freddie wants has been taken from him, and he can only have the crumbs when Cook is done.  Cook is being intentionally cruel, I think because he does know what’s happening.  Freddie is very much in love with Effy, and their relationship going to change.  There’s nothing he can do to stop it, but he’s going to try his best.  Cook has serious abandonment issues, and Freddie and JJ are his only real family.  I think he views this as just another example of a person who’s going to leave him if he doesn’t force them to stay.  He flicks Freddie’s nose as one last show of dominance, and Freddie just takes it.  JJ looks down, embarrassed but unwilling to intervene, hoping things will work themselves out.  Cook sits back down and looks at Freddie challengingly, but Freddie doesn’t put up a fight.  He doesn’t know what to do at this point, what to think or believe, what’s right.  It’s easier for him to do nothing and get stoned, so that’s what he does.

Freddie gets called to dinner, punches his punching bag, and then hugs it to himself.  There are some gorgeous shots of Freddie ignoring his family and looking up at the ceiling light instead.  In the muffled discussion Karen and her dad are having, Karen announces that she wanted to be called “Sexy Sexxbomb”, which I think is hilarious.  “He’s completely monged,” Karen says, and Freddie is brought back to real life.  Their dad looks at him disappointedly and Freddie tries to escape, claiming he has coursework.  Karen’s not going to let him get off that easily, and prompts her dad to, “tell [Freddie] about the thing.”  Their dad complies, telling Freddie to sit down, and instructs Freddie to be home at 2 o’clock tomorrow.  Karen looks pleased with herself.  She tells Freddie that she needs him to be part of an interview for her final performance on Search for a Sexxbomb, and that he should talk about how much he misses their mum and how much it will mean to him to see Karen win.  “This is like, too fucked up for words.  My mum is dead, vote for me!”  Karen tries to insist that it’s true, isn’t it, and that she does miss their mother, but Freddie’s not having it.  “She didn’t mean it like that,” Freddie’s dad tries to say, but Karen contradicts him. “Yes, I did.  At least I’ve got some fucking ambition.”  

Freddie’s dad starts lecturing him about how he pays for everything, and this is the one thing he’s asking of Freddie, while Karen flips Freddie off behind their dad’s head.  It’s a perfect representation of sibling relationships, but it’s also heartbreaking.  Karen knows she can get away with whatever she likes because there dad is so afraid of what might happen to her if she doesn’t.  “It’s just like, ugh, fucking hell, you know?” the ever inarticulate Freddie says.  It’s his attempt to voice his real frustration, but it gets him nowhere.  Karen mimics him, and that’s the final straw.  Freddie pulls down her pants and then walks out.  In the ensuing chaos, before leaving the house, he looks at a picture of his mum and apologizes.  For what, I’m not sure.  Not being able to save her?  Not being able to keep the family together?  The abuse of her memory for reality TV votes?  Maybe a bit of everything.

The scene moves to Roundview, where Josie is now (apparently) an English teacher.  This module, they’re studying Hamlet.  Emily gazes longingly at Naomi, and Naomi gazes/glares back, trying not to admit to herself that Emily means something to her.  “Through the fog of his grief, Hamlet is struggling to choose between action and inaction,” Josie’s hand puppet Gerald says, and it’s what Freddie is struggling with himself.  In his grief about losing his mother, he’s struggling to choose between action and inaction in his life- whether to lose another member of his family or to continue let her exploit him, whether to stand up to Cook and risk losing him or let him keep pushing him around, whether to tell Effy once and for all how he feels or to let Cook have her.  “Through this struggle, he encounters existential forces, illuminating the path towards death, which is, in itself, life,” and oh boy, if that isn’t foreshadowing I don’t know what is.  Josie tells Freddie that he’s always late (with the cutest little disapproving face) and that he’ll fail his A-levels if this continues.  There are two empty seats, one next to Cook and one next to Effy.  Freddie struggles to choose between action (sitting by Effy) and inaction (sitting by Cook), and for once chooses action.  “You’re all gonna fail if you don’t read the pucking book!” Josie says, and it’s sweet how she still says that even though Chris is no longer around.  

Pandora gets into a nonsense conversation where she mixes up Hamlet/Harry Potter and… we’re meant to believe that this is how people get into Harvard these days?  There’s so much tension between Effy and Freddie that you can almost feel electricity between them.  

They’re both steadfastly staring ahead, trying to pretend like they’re focused on the class instead of one another.  Freddie chances a glance at Effy’s arm, ever so slightly pressed up against his, accidentally on purpose.  The hairs on the back of their arms are standing up our of nervousness.  

He looks at her, confused, upset, but she keeps staring forward.  She raises her fingers, as if to touch Freddie, hesitates, and then strokes his hand. 

 She smiles, and Freddie looks nervous.  It should be noted that Josie’s pointer is at “madness” on the board just as Effy gives in, finally, just a little bit, to the idea of loving Freddie.  Naomi has noticed all of this happening, and is not going to let it go without comment.  She understands what Effy is going through.  She’s afraid of commitment just as much as Effy is, and I think she’s happy that Effy is pushing through it to get what- who- she wants.  Josie continues to say that the themes of Hamlet/Freddie’s life are, “action, inaction, madness, death…” 

Freddie and Naomi make eye contact, and Naomi winks.  “Hamlet’s basically a teenage boy.  He has all these desires, but he doesn’t have the bottle to reach for them.  So he goes mad and wanks off about Ophelia and ends up so boring that somebody has to kill him,” and if anyone thinks the end of 408 wasn’t planned you’ve missed this scene.  Naomi makes a joke about masturbation/soliloquizing, and Cook laughs appreciatively.  

“Nice one, Blondie.  She’s funny.”  I’ve said this before, but I really do believe that up until 306, Cook is way more interested in Naomi than he is in Effy, and this is why.  He appreciates her in a way that he just doesn’t appreciate anyone else.

Cook is tickling JJ and tries to convince Freddie to come to the pub with him, but Freddie resists.  “It’s been ages since we last went out!” JJ says, and again it’s clear that he doesn’t care so much about what’s going on with Freddie as he does restoring the status quo. Freddie tries again to protest, again woefully inarticulate in the moment when he needs to express himself the most.  “I’m going home,” he manages, and Cook looks upset before he goes back to tickling JJ.

Freddie is on the couch, trying to be a good son and brother.  He’s trying his best, but he doesn’t know what the right thing to say is, and even if he did, I’m not sure he’d be able to say it.  “It’s like, you know, well, I mean, I can’t quite put it into words…  It’s great. It is great.”  He’s slouched back on the couch, while Karen is sitting up, perky and ready to sell her story.  Their father watches on, monitoring Freddie’s every move to make sure he doesn’t ruin this for Karen.  Karen says all of the right things with the shininess and faux-deepness that we’ve come to associate with reality TV.  “It really makes you think,” she says, and this is too much for Freddie.  “Does it?” he asks pointedly.  “About what?”  Karen glares at him but tries to salvage it, “you know, that life is precious…and stuff.”  She grins into the camera, ready for her closeup, and it’s clear that she’s not thinking about much at all except for winning.  “Freddie, why don’t you tell us what it was like to lose your mother,” the judge/producer (Jordan) says, and Freddie can’t handle it.  “I didn’t lose her. I’m not gonna find her down the back of the sofa or anything.”  “But, you know, like, how did it feel?” Jordan prompts, completely devoid of empathy.  Freddie echoes his lines from earlier, “it felt great. It felt really great.”  His anger finally bubbles over, and for once he’s articulate, but what he says isn’t right for the moment- “let me ask you… how does it feel being a cocaine snorting, low budget corporate puppet?”  

Before Jordan can respond, Karen jumps in, recognizing that her chance to sell her sob story is quickly fading.  She pulls out the performance she needs to give, and the camera pulls in on her face, completely cropping Freddie out of the shot (and symbolically, out of the story).  The minute the camera cuts, Karen drops the facade of sadness and goes into networking mode, telling Jordan what he wants to hear in order to get him to keep liking her.  The minute he leaves her sight, Karen turns on Freddie, asking him why she’s trying to fuck this up for her.  Their dad joins in, giving Freddie a disappointed look that is almost, but not quite, as disparaging as Freddie’s own.

Freddie goes back to the shed, and notices that Effy’s left her bracelet behind.  Was it an accident or on purpose?  I’m inclined to say I think Effy left it to invite him into her life.  JJ comes in to remind Freddie that they’ve all been friends since primary school and to tell Freddie that he should feel badly about upsetting the status quo.  “Why don’t you want to be friends with us anymore,” and I can’t tell if JJ honestly doesn’t understand what’s going on or if he thinks that guilt will get things back to normal.  “Anyway, what else are you going to do?” JJ asks Freddie.  

The answer, we find out, is to go to Effy’s house.  To reach out for what he wants.  To take action.  He hesitates outside the door, and says, “I hope you’re okay.”  The scene cuts to Effy moodily smoking at the kitchen table, and pans out to reveal her parents arguing about their divorce and moodily smoking as well.  In this moment, Effy doesn’t get to be upset.  She doesn’t get to be anyone but her.  The doorbell rings, giving Effy an excuse to exit the argument (and giving her the option of being upset, now that she’s out of her parents’ gaze).  Freddie looks nervous, like he can’t quite believe that he’s doing this.  In the same way that Effy tells Freddie that she’s come to see his shed, Freddie cheerily says, “what’s up?”  He’s doing his best to make an awkward situation easier, even though he can clearly hear her parents arguing in the background.  

Effy doesn’t say anything.  She just turns around and walks back into the house.  But she doesn’t shut the door behind herself, so Freddie follows.  They sit silently on the couch, both of them staring straight ahead, just like in class, listening to her parents argue.  Unlike Freddie, Effy is incredibly articulate when she wants to be.  But sometimes she can’t talk about what she’s going through, and this is one of those times.  She chooses to show him instead, being vulnerable without having to admit that it hurts.  Effy steals a glance at Freddie.

“I brought your bracelet back,” Freddie says, I think in an attempt to distract her.  “We’d be good together,” and for the first time in the episode, he’s asking for what he wants and he’s able to articulate it, even though it’s clearly the wrong time.  Effy looks genuinely confused by this statement, but Freddie presses on.  “Don’t you think?”  “No,” Effy says, and Freddie is back to being confused.  He thought he had a handle on what was going on and now it’s clear he doesn’t at all.  “Why?” “Because I’ll break your heart,” Effy says, stony faced, as her parents’ marriage dissolves in the background.  “Maybe I’ll break yours,” Freddie says, trying to add levity to the situation but also trying to convince her that things will be okay.  But it’s the wrong thing to say, because of course that’s what she’s worried about.  Her barriers go back up just as quickly as they came down.  “Nobody breaks my heart.  And anyway, why would I want that?”  

The consequences of a broken heart enter the room- they’re not hypothetical to her.  “Who the buggering tits is this?” Jim asks.  Freddie looks confused, not quite sure what to say anymore, since Effy had just said she doesn’t want to be anything in particular to him. “Unbelievable,” Effy says. Jim leads Freddie out of the house, and says “they’re not actually crazy, you know.  They’re just women.”  I hate this sentiment with a burning passion, and I have no idea what it’s supposed to represent here.  Both Anthea and Effy are mentally ill.  That’s why they act the way they do, at least in part.  To dismiss it as, “women be crazy” seems cheap to me.  Freddie gives Jim a look like he doesn’t completely agree, either, and watches Jim walk away from the woman he loves.  Freddie looks up at Effy’s window as it’s happening, but she’s not there watching him go.  Freddie kicks a wall.  He’s frustrated because now he has to decide- is he going to walk away like Jim?  Or is he going to keep reaching out until he gets what he wants, what he knows is there?  Effy appears in the window as Freddie walks away.  She watches him go, I think hoping that, unlike Jim (and unlike Tony, for that matter), Freddie will come back and he’ll choose to stay.

Freddie goes to the one place he knows is safe- the skate park.  This is a place where surely he can be at peace, where he can be himself.  As his dad will say later in the episode, he just skates around.  But even here, it’s not working.  He can’t stay balanced, can’t do the tricks that usually come easily to him.  He’s in action now, and he can’t just go back to the inaction he was comfortable with before.

Freddie is woken by a knocking sound.  He goes to his shed to find that his dad has converted it into a dance studio for Karen.  Freddie’s dad gets on his case about his lack of ambition, and implies that without the shed, perhaps Freddie will make something of himself.  Maybe it will prompt Freddie to take action if he doesn’t have somewhere to retreat to.  His fortress of solitude, his marvelous shed- it’s gone.  Symbolically, his friendship with JJ and Cook is gone.  Symbolically, maybe his ability to be a safe space for Effy is gone, too.

Freddie ends up going to the quiz night that JJ stopped by to invite him to at Cook’s behest.  Now that everything has been taken away from him, I think Freddie feels like all he has is the Three Musketeers.  He tried to reach out for what he wanted, and he failed each step of the way.  But things can’t just go back to the way they were.  The past is gone.  Naomi and Emily seem to be on a date of some sort (since one of the other teams needs more members but they’ve elected to sit alone), and Effy is with a random as opposed to Cook or Freddie.  Naomi asks her who he is, and Effy asks him his name.  He says “Mike,” offended that she doesn’t remember, but all she says is “hmm.”  I think Mike must have asked Effy out and she saw this as an opportune moment to make Freddie jealous.  “Romantic,” Naomi says, which is a bit much coming from a girl that’s not really on a date with the girl she’s loved since she was twelve.  

Effy looks at Freddie, almost challenging him to say something about Mike’s presence, but he’s given up on action for the time being, so he just stares at her.  Note that Cook isn’t jealous of seeing Effy with someone else.  The person he’s watching isn’t Effy.  It’s Freddie.  “We don’t let anything come between us, yeah?  Bros before hoes, boys.” Cook says, clearly thinking they’ve gotten rid of Effy once and for all and things can go back to normal.  “Yeah,” Freddie says quietly.  But their fight was never really about Effy, and so it can’t be over until the real problem is addressed.  Cook quickly switches topics to the shed, and Freddie seems glad to have company in his anger.  But then JJ outs Cook as having had sex with Karen, and the facade of normalcy comes crashing down.  This is a bit of an eye rolling moment for me, because I don’t believe JJ is that socially inept and I dislike it when they use him to info-drop so the plot can move forward, but it’s effective.

Freddie realizes that things aren’t going to go back to normal after all, even if he wants them too, and promptly goes outside to puke.  Defeated, he lies down.  Effy appears to tell him to, “just be.”  I think it’s meant to be a reference to the extended Hamlet metaphor that appears in this episode and in Generation 2 more widely.  But instead of “to be or not to be” it’s “to be, but just to be.”  I think what Effy’s trying to tell him is not to worry about Karen or Cook or anyone or anything else, just to take care of himself.

Freddie launches himself over the garden door, eating some chips that he apparently tossed over first.  Why the door is locked in the first place, I’m not sure, but we’ll move past it.  Karen is practicing her Ass2Ass dance in the shed and can’t get it right.  To her credit, she is actually working for what she wants, at least.  The shed wasn’t destroyed in vain.  Freddie shows up to sarcastically clap and yell at Karen for taking away the one thing he thought he could depend on.  “Maybe you want my bedroom for a tanning salon next,” he says.  Karen continues to be self centered, telling him to let her rehearse and saving his bitching at her for after the final.  “I’m so sorry,” Freddie says. “I forgot that’s the only thing that matters in the whole world.”  Karen is all sweaty and Freddie has ketchup on his face.  Neither of them are at their best right now.  “I know your type Karen. Love me. Love me. Love me.”  And it’s interesting, because the other person in Freddie’s life that’s like that?  Cook.

Freddie’s dad catches the tail end of that conversation, where Freddie calls Karen a whore.  He hits Freddie hard, and then throws an emotional punch too- saying that Freddie has his mother’s eyes, but that he doesn’t know who Freddie is anymore.  I do think all of this is unfair on Mr McClair’s part.  Skating around is a very normal thing for teenage boys to do, and I don’t think it’s that unusual for a sixteen year old who’s (relatively recently) been through a huge trauma to not know what he wants to do with his life.  I get that Freddie’s not the most pleasant to be around right now, but Mr McClair is making no effort to understand where Freddie is coming from or the support he might need.

Mr McClair is sitting at the kitchen table, crying while he looks at the picture of his family.  I think he does genuinely feel bad for what happened with Freddie.  Freddie sits at the table and tries to do his coursework, but isn’t getting very far and throws his book.  He goes to the skatepark, but that’s not doing it for him either.  He smokes a joint, but he throws that away, and then tosses his skateboard down the ramp and abandons it.  He’s decided to take his dad’s advice and to stop skating around.  All of the things that used to work aren’t working any more.  He needs to find something new.  Someone new.

He goes to Effy’s house.  He’s ready to try again.  He knows there’s something there.  He rings the bell and this time, Anthea answers, clearly going through something in her pyjamas and robe. “Is Effy in?” he asks hopefully.  Anthea tries to get Freddie to validate her- “there’s nobody here but terrible little old me,” but Freddie isn’t going to be distracted.  “Do you know where she is? Please!”  Anthea tells him that she’s probably at the water park, and Freddie runs off as Anthea says, “she goes there to get away from here.”

Freddie runs as fast as he can to the water park, determined to say what he needs to say, to reach out for what he wants.  Effy is lying on a raft (before you ask- I think it moves. She got on it on shore, then paddled with her hands out to the middle of the water, which is why she and her stuff are dry).  “Effy, Effy!” he shouts.  He tries calling her.  She stands up on the raft, showing him her phone.  He takes off his shirt and swims to her.  For the first time, she feels comfortable really putting herself out there.  

(on a side note, can people please stop color editing gifs from Skins?  Why would you take such a beautiful color edit and make it look so drab and normal?  What is the point in that? and don’t even get me started on the black and white gifs.)

She finally jumps in- takes a leap of faith that this will all work out- and swims towards him.  Frantically, desperately.  They kiss.  “Freddie, I don’t think I can…” she starts to say, but he cuts her off.  “Now I’ve told you.  Now you know.”  In this moment, she knows, she finally knows, that he will love her fully and unconditionally if she lets him.  The ball is in her court now.   He’s said what he needs to say in his own, inarticulate manner.  I know some people don’t like that line, but I think it really works for who Freddie is as a person and where he is in his life at that point.  Effy is terrified.  The demons she’s been keeping at bay are breaking free, and she can’t stop them.

Meanwhile, the grand finale of Search for a Sexxbomb is airing.  We get some ridiculous songs about sex, including the ridiculously catchy Ass2Ass, which gets stuck in my head more often than I’d like to admit.  Freddie’s dad is sitting in the audience next to an empty chair, nervously waiting for Karen’s performance.  Freddie slides into the empty chair, and Mr McClair gives him a small smile.  Freddie looks a little bit disgusted, but does his best to be supportive and get into it, giving a forced smile and singing along.  Everyone jumps up to clap, and after a moment Freddie joins in.  This time, he gives a real smile, even after Karen once again invokes their dead mother for sympathy points.  Karen clearly has done well, and it seems like she’s the frontrunner to win.  The announcer lets us know that people can vote by phone on who they want to win.

The scene cuts to a devastated Karen, in a very cute oversized hoodie and running mascara.  The house is decorated in anticipation of Karen’s victory (it seems she decided on “Minxxy Sexxbomb” as her stage name).  Freddie comes to bring everyone a cup of tea.  Mr McClair thanks him, and it’s not an apology but it’s a start.  Freddie kisses Karen on the head, and it’s sweet, but again, I don’t know if I agree with this scene.  Mr McClair and Karen have both treated Freddie horribly throughout the course of this episode.  Just because she lost does not make that untrue.

Cook shows up to get Freddie to come celebrate with them.  Freddie says he’s not going anywhere, so Cook and JJ come in without really being invited.  It transpires that Cook rigged the vote so Karen would lose, as retribution for taking away their shed.  Karen lunges at Cook, and everything finally bubbles to the surface for Freddie.  He head butts Cook.  

(fucking black and white gifs)

In retaliation, Cook kisses him.  He doesn’t know how to express what he’s feeling, so he shows Freddie instead.  Just like Freddie does with Effy earlier in the episode.  “I fucking love you, you bastard,” he says, and then he leaves, JJ in tow.  I think rigging the contest was the one thing Cook felt like he could do for Freddie- to show Freddie, in his weird Cook way, that he cares, and to get Freddie back.  In some strange way, that was Cook’s version of being vulnerable, of doing something for someone else, of showing his love.  And when it backfires, he just doesn’t know what to do.  So Cook punches the photo of Freddie’s family, breaking the frame and shattering glass everywhere.  If Freddie isn’t going to be his family, Freddie can’t have his own family, either.  I think it also underlines how broken his family has become since his mum passed away.