Andrew!Peter: Peter 2 and I are having a baby
Tom!Peter: That's great, congratulations!
Tobey!Peter: *slams down adoption papers* It's you, sign here
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@wateriiterro
Andrew!Peter: Peter 2 and I are having a baby
Tom!Peter: That's great, congratulations!
Tobey!Peter: *slams down adoption papers* It's you, sign here

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i actually love that this guy
is canonically the most well adjusted spiderman
ok but why are we not talking about the moment in no way home when tobey and andrew's peters said they weren't used to working in teams and then tom's peter went, "i do because I am in the Avengers" and tobey goes "COOL!! but what the hell is that?" and then Tom's peter tries to come up with something to explain 24 movies' worth of shit to them in like a minute but tobey and andrew go, "dude is that a band? oH my god are you in a BAND??!!!##???"... because that whole interaction was hilarious and had me in splitsš
this, but with the spideys
 ⦠.just realized itās like that scene in the Incredibles lmao

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#i like to think data took him all the way to the brig tossed him in and left#and then came back 60 seconds later and was like āi believe i have successfully played a āpractical jokeā on you :)ā#riker loses it & claps him on the back like āwow. good job u rly had me going. dont ever fucking do that againā Perfect.
Actually itās 73 seconds. Data, knowing something of how human minds work, estimates that Riker will give him 60 seconds to come back (because humans preferĀ āround numbersā, however arbitrary the units). After 60 seconds it will take 4 seconds for Riker to fully process the conclusion that Data is, in fact, not coming back after all, and an additional 9 seconds to build to the optimum level of anxiety.Ā
After all, comedy is timing.
Wait wait wait wait
Iām sorry but its A FUCKING RECURRING SUBSCRIPTION???
I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE A ONE TIME PAYMENT
HOW FUCKING PATHETIC ARE THESE MONEY GRABBING ASS CLOWNS
WHAT KINDA WORTHLESS BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA
SOMEONES GONNA GET DECKED
Tumblr Post+ and how to prevent it
Plenty of people here, myself included, don't want Post+. It's a paid subscription and will cause a lot (more) problems on this site.
What does it do?
- Allows blogs to create paid subscriptions that followers have to pay to see blog content. This can cause a lot of problems, as plenty of people come to Tumblr since it has never been a monetizable website.
- You can't block people who "support" your blog, meaning people can bypass the blocking system to harass blogs, just at a price.
- Creators have other outlets for these services, like Patreon.
- Again, nobody wants to pay for Tumblr posts.
Now, how can you help stop this?
By filling out Tumblr's Post+ survey! This allows you to give feedback about the Post+ system and what you would/wouldn't do. You can use this to directly inform Tumblr that you DO NOT want the "Post+" feature. If anyone has anything to add to this (info, updates, etc) I encourage you to! Keep resources current!
Imagine polyglot Derek and heās at the hospital cause stiles is injured and the nurse comes in to tell him that visiting hours are over and that he needs to leave. Derek hesitates cause he donāt want to leave and the nurse takes it as if he didnāt understand and theyāre like do you speak English? And tries to explain it in Spanish. So Derek starts speaking rapid Spanish. So the nurse calls in a Spanish speaking nurse, but then Derek switches over to french. And that nurse canāt understand anything. So they call in another nurse who says she took French in school but then Derek switches up to German. And eventually they just let him stay with stiles. After they left stiles asked who long would have Derek been able to keep that up. And Derek responds idk. But my last resort was to speak gibberish.
Time is a weird soup.

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one time when i was watching this with my friend she like grabbed the remote and paused the movie and turned to look me deadass straight in the eyes and proceeded to tell me she always fantasized during this scene about bucky seducing rocket like picking him up like that and slamming him against the wall and just holding him up by his little raccoon vest or whatever he was wearing and dirty talking him as his little paws quivered and i straight up dissociated so goddamn hard bc my brain couldnāt cope with the information i was being given i dropped my popsicle in my lap and didnāt even realize my cat had come to lick it up
some very important info re: paid accounts~
I am not a lawyer, but I can decently interpret legalese and, being as I also suffer from tl;dr syndrome and assume others may as well, I took one for the team and went through the updated TOS for the post+ accounts and highlighted (what I understand to be) the most pertinent information, which ultimately comes down to this:
You cannot monetize copyrighted works (aka charge and earn money from fanfic, fanworks, etc) and if you do decide to put your fanworks behind a paywall via Tumblr, when you are inevitably sued, Tumblr will not protect you and will not defend you and you alone, personally, will be responsible for whatever monetary damages said lawsuit results in.
If anyone is a lawyer and knows I've gotten any of this wrong, please do not hesitate to correct me/this post.
Screenshots taken from Tumblr's TOS (updated 7-21-21), Stripe's Account Agreement, and the post+ FAQs.
1. Your paid account will not be hosted by tumblr; it is routed through a 3rd party.
2. By signing up for a paid account, you're entering into an agreement with Stripe, so in addition to Tumblr's TOS, you are also bound to Stripe's TOS.
3. Stripe, like Tumblr, will not defend you or protect you against any lawsuits.
4. Furthermore, you may end up owing Stripe money (indemnify = compensate)
5. Tumblr's TOS specifically states that you can't put any content on your post+ account that violates any laws, including laws that protect intellectual property rights of others. This is super important, because Tumblr's post+ FAQ also states that you can post anything that you would regularly post on tumblr, which I'm sure many will take to mean that gifsets, fanworks, etc are fair game, since all of that stuff can be posted on tumblr now. However, the difference is, you're not making money from the fanworks you're posting or reblogging now. Once money enters the equation, the game changes.
Tumblr is making it seem like any and all content goes for post+ accounts, knowing 90% of this site is fanworks. This is not true and you'll be opening yourself up for lawsuits if you charge for fanworks.
6. Tumblr further disclaims any and all liability in any legal issues.
tl;dr: Please do not make a post+ account, bc you will be opening yourself to lawsuits and if that happens, Tumblr's response will be not our problem, you agreed to all the terms which said you couldn't do that, sorry not sorry. Please protect yourself.
This post is a public service.
so i decided to look more into Tumblrās latest bad idea, the +Post subscription service, and Iād like to share with you my favorite bit of bad decision making:
absolutely incredible. we can steal the entire content of the post just by copy-pasting the post itself in a reblog. both original and stolen content in one entity. post-modernism. absurdist. ceci n'est pas une original content.
So let me get this straight⦠you can literally pay to follow someone exclusively to steal their content and post them in reblogs and OP also couldnāt BLOCK you to stop you from doing it?
Genius minds at tumblr.com
*follows a $7.99 blog to steal all of their content for my $3.99 blog*
@staff how are you this fucking dumb
honest to god can't stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it's such a good example of politically driven folk music.
Y'know what, fuck this bullshit. I need to know y'all are actually against it.
Reblog this if you will NOT use or support Post+.
I hope to make @staff see how that is total bullshit. Tumblr will die without writers/creators.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Man everyone got really mask-off biphobic in your inbox last night huh. Like the MCU is a pop-culture juggernaut which has never had a single onscreen same-gender relationship and people are mad about the m/f relationship between two bi people? Seriously?
it's because they all fetishize relationships between two men. like, seriously, how many gay/bi men have you seen mad that Loki and Mobius didn't kiss? i'm sure some exist but i legitimately haven't seen any. just fujoshis.
Yeah, I'm not mad Loki and Mobius didn't kiss because giving the bi genderfluid god a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend wouldn't make him any less bi or genderfluid, I'm just kinda skeeved out at the implied selfcest from shipping Loki with an alternate version of himself
i just dont get why people are skeeved out at selfcest though??? am i missing something? why are so many people mad about this. i would totally fuck an alternate version of myself ? would y'all not ????
Look man, you remember onecest? We don't want onecest. We want to stay as far away from onecest as goddamn possible.
thatās a funny reference but, like, saying āremember oncest???ā doesnt really provide any actual reasoning to why āselfcestā should be considered wrong or āproblematicā to appear in Marvelās Loki. like, if you donāt like it, thatās cool, but yāall need to stop extrapolating to being a moral issue rather than just something you donāt care for
I mean, imagine having a twin though? like a biological twin, identical or fraternal, who's maybe physically identical to you, maybe not, doesn't really matter
would you fuck your own twin? bc that's how I see it
this says more about how you view twins than it does about how you view kissing an alternate version of yourself tbh. no, i would not fuck my own twin if i had one, because they would be my sibling, and that would be disgusting. on the other hand, i WOULD fuck myself, because i am sexy and hot and full of myself. thereās a difference here. selfcest is not incest. the only reason it even evokes the imagery of incest is because of the word āselfcestā. iād fuck my clone. iād fuck my future self, or maybe my past self (depending on when she was from), iād DEFO fuck an alt universe version of myself. and why should i not?
A dating service where matching is based on peopleās search history exists. Youāre a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.
Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?
Writer: Air shot between the toes, itāll look like a heart attack.
Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok
Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts
Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
A++ addition
Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene theyāre writing* babe, iām not sure if this would actually work?
Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, youāre doing great
I LOVE THIS
Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? Itād be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it theyāre a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so itās completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.
Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and itās a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that thereās something to the theory, but itās all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the authorās home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they donāt seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, thatās it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough heāll FINALLY have proof.
Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal.Ā
āYou need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.ā
Serial killer breaths in.Ā āLook-ā
ā¦perfect
I donāt like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect
THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY
Oh my god I would watch/read the hell out of this shit