archived

[21:06] But… mmm, yeah, he does kind of have a point. It’s mostly been the ninja saving the people and the people retreating and such. 

[20:24] The Bounty 2.0 looks cool as hell, though

[19:31] you absolute motherfucker, chen

[19:22] *long suffering sigh*

[19:16] He tried but the writers felt like being dicks

[19:04] But like, how didn’t Wu know?

And if Misako fell in love with Garmadon purely over one letter… isn’t that a bit shallow? I don’t… y’know, get romantic love on my subscription if you get what I'm saying but like it has to be more than that. Surely.

[18:36] Skylor, thank you, these grown men don’t seem to know how to handle themselves.

[17:13] Alright, we’re at the Samurai X base.

[14:50] Let’s get the people into the fight! Hell yeah!

[13:02] wait why are we getting children involved

[13:01] NO REALLY THAT WOULD MEAN WE’RE USING CHILD SOLDIERS ISN’T THAT ALSO A WAR CRIME

[11:16] you know when i begun watching this show i didn’t expect it to veer into a war story in season 4 but this identity crisis sure is fun

[9:51] Are we re-opening the Cursed Realm?

[9:36] man i want to see skylor kill her shitty dad right then are there but i don’t think i can :(

[8:14] Lloyd ditching his relatives to go fight alongside his found family is both sad and cathartic, tbh

[7:08] ONLY ONE CAN REMAIN OH NOOOO OH GOD OH GOD

[6:11] OH GOD OH GOD I’M NOT READY TO GET MY HEART FUCKING TORN OUT TONIGHT

[5:18] OH MY GOD OKAY WE’VE GOT SPIRITS CURSING THE ARMY OKAY

[4:30] oh god we won but i’m gonna be salty over garm for the rest of my life huh

[2:15] they realised how awkward it would be to animate legos kissing and did what they had to do

[2:13] Shame that Skylor is leaving, though. She got too op and the writers had to have her run the noodle place before she got even more powerful imo

[1:24] Y’know how people were wondering what on earth Garmadon’s first name is? I reckon that Garmadon *is* his first name, and it’s just that he has no surname. Lloyd has Garmadon as his surname because I guess Misako didn’t want to give hers? That’s my reasoning.

But… yeah. I’m going to be bitter about Garmadon being killed off.

[1:12] Good call on burning the spellbook.

[0:47] SOMETHING CAME OUT OF THE PORTAL UHHHH

[21:15] She’s with Jay!

[20:44] Welp, Skylor and Garmadon aren’t going to be very welcome here in their current states.

[20:36] Skylor lost her powers when she become an Anacondrai.

[19:57] Oooh. The spell isn’t locked down because Nya has the page the spell is continued on.

[19:37] Is… is Pythor still out there? I mean, the Falcon ate him if I recall, right?

[19:24] Chen, the reason it’s so difficult to conquer Ninjago is that it’s a modern society used to this kind of shit. It’s easier for something like the Overlord, who is pure evil, to take over, compared to your average world-dominating joe.

[18:57] man, this is going to take a while for the reintroductions to take place

[18:08] ...Where are we going?

[17:25] Oh! That explains where some of the villains went!

[16:57] No, Pythor isn’t dead. He’s just tiny as shit. He lives in a dollhouse.

[15:50] Forgot that Anacondrai turn invisible. To be fair, Pythor literally ate pretty much all of them, so I don’t get much opportunity to see them use this power.

[15:33] (one of the semi-endearing troops of Chen’s) “Everyone knows there’s no such thing as ghosts.” Who’s this Morro dude I’ve been hearing about, then?

[14:14] Honestly I would probably like to hold Tiny Pythor. Considering how he hasn’t made an attempt to bite Garmadon, and both his namesake, pythons, and his species’ namesake, anacondas are non-venomous from what I can tell, he couldn’t hurt me that much.

[13:30] Improvised weapons time? Improvised weapons time.

[12:45] Chen Is Likely An Honest To God War Criminal

[10:28] These are the Hagemans, right? Jailed for fucking up the main characters, probably

[8:04] Y’know, as Chen is kind of… in universe officially a war criminal? How did he get away with the ferries to his island? It would’ve made more sense to put the factory back inside Ninjago, at least if I was him.

[6:12] Welp, time to stop some trucks.

[5:20] Garmadon, what happened to when you said you had no regrets? Do you regret lying?

honestly tho if one letter is enough to sway Misako to one brother over the other either that’s a really fucking good letter or Misako is just… i dunno. a shitty person

[5:16] But… mm, yeah, the impending war and being a snake thing also would hurt

[5:06] hhhhh nope it is about the One Letter He Gave Her

[5:01] well,,,, WELL,,,, HUH

[4:55] Don’t worry, Garm, the writers just want to prolong your suffering.

[4:29] Looks like one truck is down.

[3:18] Another diverted from its original target.

[2:56] A third somewhat slowed.

[2:13] A fourth being diverted.

[1:38] OH FUCK. OH FUCK WE’VE BEEN HAD

[21:13] (Lloyd) “She wasn’t able to pick her family, but she was able to pick her friends.” Stop saying weird shit that doesn’t even help that much, Lloyd, it’s a bad habit you’re picking up from your uncle, but… man. I can see WHY he would choose to say that, considering the first two seasons.

[21:09] Alright, that is… not her choosing but like, I guess so, kid.

[20:31] hey so uh (sees the Falcon pecking at the screen) (i begin bawling)

[19:17] I… I don’t like the looks of where this is going.

[18:47] I can smell those manipulation tactics from a mile away. I get he’s the villian, but still, that’s his daughter what the fuck

[18:06] He is fully okay with his own daughter DYING because of what he’ll get out of it.

I’m going to fucking murder Chen. You try and stop me.

[17:32] okay but if Skylor doesn’t get much focus / only gets focus as the love interest of kai in the later seasons i’m also going to fucking murder the writers she’s very OP and that has a lot of potential

[16:37] Wait, Mind can do that? Messages? That’s neat as hell.

look i’m guessing the Competition Gang isn’t going to be in the show much after the season so uhhh fuck the writers for ignoring perfectly good characters if that’s the case

i could change So Much about this show already and in the later seasons it’ll probably get worse :/

[16:15] Wait, why has Jay’s leg magically healed? Why does continuity make no sense? It’d be fine if the show was episodic but that is not at all the case so… ugghhhh

[15:50] hi dareth. you’re still here.

[15:23] ZANE LISTEN TO YOUR GF AND SLOW DOWN THIS IS WHAT YOU GOT

[15:15] dude we JUST got you back c’mon

[14:55] pixal just fucking calling him out, “perhaps is an understatement”

[14:47] ~like he’s been here before~

Okay, but like… I wonder if anything happens in this series that I could properly insert the song Here Before by Vashti Bunyan into. That song is so good, you guys, give it a listen.

[14:43] Anywho, hi dream dragon

[14:35] Like, what is the deal with Zane? Pixal can’t see what he’s panicking about, so that means that what we’re seeing isn’t the visuals being picked up by Zane’s eyes, but Zane IS seeing what we’re seeing, so this has to be from another cause.

[14:19] OH MY GOD… POOR ZANE. HE… WHATEVER THIS IS, PIXAL CAN’T EVEN HELP AND IT’S JUST STRESSING ME OUT THE POOR GUY

[14:08] What the hell was on this island before, anyhow? Did the people here live before Chen was exiled here?

[12:24] WELP, BIG F

[11:17] okay but look at them! look at those fucking dorks! they’re just chaotic teenagers

[10:54] aww. your romance may have been somewhat rushed but if it’s not got some neat moments

[10:27] oh dammit

[10:14] huh. sure is a fight scene.

literally though if anything majorly Bad happens to Garmadon i’ll commit murder. i know i sound tired but that’s just because i am

[10:06] oh, Come on! Why the fuck did you open the Cursed Realm?

[10:00] Um.

[9:53] UH?

[9:46] fffuck.

[9:43] ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[9:32] Oh my god. You absolute piece of shit, Clouse.

[9:24] hahaha why the fuck is this happening

[9:08] OH GOD OKAY GARMADON IS GOING TO GET SOME USE OUT OF WHATEVER HE CAN DO BEFORE HE GOES DOWN.

AND IF THAT MEANS DRAGGING CLOUSE TO HELL, THEN HE CAN DRAG AS HARD AS HE GODDAMN WANTS TO.

[9:06] God bless flimsy vines, sometimes.

[8:53] OH THANK F U CK OKAY GARMADON IS OKAY HE’S OKAY

[8:44] BACK TO THE OTHER TRAUMATISING THING

[8:37] Pixal, love you, but you reaaally aren’t helping

[8:22, round about] (Zane) “I am not the White Ninja. I am a replica. I am… afraid.” HEY WRITERS DON’T RIP MY FUCKING HEART OUT AGAIN

[8:17] oh my god he doesn’t realise it isn’t actually real he’s using his powers and thinking he isn’t able to stop something that isn’t there

[8:00] I did not go into this Lego show to get emotionally beat up. I went into this because I thought it wasn’t that good, it would be good joke material, it would just be a somewhat tedious but fun exercise in just what on earth is out there. And… true, it fufills some of those things, but it also has me putting off watching a character say he can’t be who he is, he’s a replica, a fake, he can’t do anything to stop a threat only he can see, because that shit hurts. It’s good that it hurts, but it was never on my mind I would feel that way when everyone in the show is a Lego minifig.

[around 7:48] (Zane) “I am not the White Ninja. I am not the White Ninja.”

(Pixal) “Who are you, then?”

[7:39] (Zane) “I am… the Titanium Ninja.”

[7:34] (Zane) “I… I am the Titanium Ninja!”

THAT’S MY BOY!!!

[7:07, also round about] (Zane) “I am the Titanium Ninja!” LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!!

like there’s dialogue between this but like seriously coming to terms that you’ve changed as a person, and that you’re never going to be the same but you’re better for it is just… a good message yknow.

[6:59] Back to the Competition Gang’s kind of… what? Prisoner-holding area? I  guess?

[6:52] Oh, shit. The back of Garm’s shirt is undone. You can see part of his tattoo. Only the other Ninja excl. Zane know about it.

[6:43] OH FUCK IT’S LIKE THE DARK MARK

[6:29] oh god oh fuck this isn’t going wellllllOH MY GOD

OH. OH NO.

[5:24] OH NO. OH HOLY SHIT THIS IS NOT GOOD

[5:21] honestly the fact that this hasn’t garnered THAT MUCH shock is… surprising considering how out of nowhere garmadon just turned into an anacondrai but ok

[5:08] Well!

[4:16ish] (Jay) “First it was four arms, then it was a dragon. Do you mind picking a body and sticking to it, please?” jkewlf

[3:48] KAI JUST WHOLEASS SET CHEN ON FIRE

[3:42] and he would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for your meddling thick hides!

[3:08] welp things are going to bibbity bobbity hell

[2:48] shit. they’re leaving.

[1:58] ZANE M’BOY!!!

[1:22] KAI TOO!!! REAL GODDAMN DRAGON HOURS

[0:44] (Kai) “Chen brought us here so only one would remain. Well - we *are* one!”

[0:38] Was going to comment on the lack of Weekend Whip, but I guess we’re getting some mild closure on Jacob instead.

[21:29] Ah, fuck. Almost forgot that the remaining competitors got caught earlier.

[21:19] fucking calling turner out on being so obvious. 

[20:58] Jay, the question is, will you have your powers by the time he comes to grab you?

[20:35] Guess it was hers…?

[20:19] We see that, mate.

[19:28] Welp, he got their powers!

[19:04] So Skylor managed to keep Kai from being taken to the factory.

[18:11] These two random guards don’t have names?

[17:43] Man, I guess I’m suddenly endeared by these two no-longer nameless guards.

[17:32] I guess that we had to pad out time, though, unless this is a set-up for later. Anywho, back to the noodle factory.

[17:26] He’s trying.

[17:01] (Jay) “A roto-jet? But aren’t we underground?”

(Cole) “That’s what I’ve been saying!”

[16:32] We’re now looking at Kai and Chen walk through a hall of callbacks, and there’s a really fucking weird bone sword in this collection huh

[16:28] Oh! It’s an Anacondrai sword.

[16:03] Okay, Skylor did get her powers from her mum.

[15:30] Okaaay, this is even more of a cult than I first thought.

[15:13] uuuuuh. christ, Chen is trying to turn Kai against his friends.

[14:55] OH FUCK. PARENTAL REVELATIONS.

[14:31] I’m honestly conflicted because I do want some sweet sweet Angst and Lore but at the same time I don’t think the price for it will be a good one.

[14:19] Grappling hook! I think!

[13:22] Remember, if I go silent for long gaps of time, that means I’m probably too sucked in to talk.

[13:17] KAI! THANK YOU! LET’S GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE THE SNAKE GETS TO US

[12:54] UH KAI BLEW OUT THE TORCH. DON’T LIKE THAT.

[12:45] Oh god. Oh god, god no. Lloyd… did Kai… no, he couldn’t of. This has to be a misunderstanding.

[11:48] Not to get emotional over a lego ninja getting his ass kicked, but…

[10:59] This is not good. And we’ve cut to Nya waking up somewhere misty.

[10:57] Fuck. Her and Garm were caught.

[10:50] Oh! that’s a lot of skeletons! And not of the living kind!

[10:24] Oh, fuck off.

[10:04] OKAY GARMADON IS NOW TRYING TO HOLD SKYLOR HOSTAGE?

[9:16] So, Kai’s planning something.

[8:04] Well!

[7:27] wELL THIS IS HAPPENING

[5:57] What even is the point of taking Amber away from her?

[5:28] Garm… Garm, is he taking the blow for this?

[5:12] UHHHHHH WHAT

[5:09] OKAY IT’S THE ROTO JET

[5:03] rip to the snake

[4:48] aww

[4:33] (i know i can’t convey tone very well just imagine it in a more horrified tone) AWWWWWW

(just. just imagine this vine)

[4:22] we heard you say Only One Can Remain the first… million times, Chen. please fuck off now

[4:08] “”all”” elemental powers, don’t think I didn’t remember the title.

[3:22...ish] (Chen) “You betrayed me?”

(Skylor) “Runs in the family.” OOF

[2:57] Trapdoors!

[2:49] OH NO

[2:14] OH YES

[1:48] THE STAFF GOT DESTROYED HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAwait.

there’s still three episodes left godDAMMIT

[before 1:31ish] (Nya) “It always brings a tear to my eye to see the gang back together!” you and me both

[1:20] Oh, god. Poor Skylor.

[20:48] He’d keep it in the family, wouldn’t he? He’d give it to his daughter. I’m also just going to make the guess that Skylor has her power from her mum’s side? Y’know, I wonder what happened to said mum.

...did she turn into the snake?

[19:44] Lloyd, you’re such a mood.

[18:10] C’mon, let’s not become a green pancake here,

[15:57] Alright, I guess we’re gunning for the ninja to get to her before somebody like Skylor does.

[14:33] yaaay. contrivances….

[14:28] Deep breath, Jaime. Deep, deep breath.

[14:24] ugh.

[13:57] Anyhow, Garmadon backstory time.

[13:49] Wait a moment. How old is Garmadon, Clouse, and Chen? I am aware that questioning the timeline will get me nowhere, since, clearly, it’s a total disaster and it’ll just keep me up at night, but I do want to poke it a bit.

God, if I had to change one thing about the series, it’d be the timeline. I hear it gets worse, which is not good.

I wonder if anyone has actually rewritten the timeline to make more sense?

[12:46] (Chen) “*Never trust a snake*, Lord Garmadon!” ...oh. that’s where that comes from.

I wasn’t expecting a war story in this series, but here we are.

[12:31] man, Wu had a case of the Claudiuses from way back when, huh

[12:03] fuck wusako rights but also … yeah. that was kind of a bad move garm

[10:53] Oh. Oh, oh shit.

...wait. WAIT how did Chen become so snake-obsessed when he was so staunchly against the Serpentine early on? He literally fought on the side of the Serpentine, we were told this! And Garmadon was willing to trust the Anacondrai offering a truce, but he fought on the side of the humans!

[10:40] Wait, if Chen is going to be the only one who remains… is he going to throw his daughter under the bus, too?

[9:57] ah man. i see the chain of backstabbing from here. like, if Chen does throw Skylor under the bus, her being a spy for him will ultimately just fuck up her chances of getitng on the side of good considering that she thinks she can bail out on helping Kai when it’s convinient.

[9:03] Man. Anacondrai are dicks.

Now I think about it, the whole war was pointless, wasn’t it? The Serpentine were always going to go underground, human intervention or not.

[8:49] An alliance of the elemental masters… Lloyd was trying to reform it without even knowing. Also, hi Kai’s ancestor!

[8:38] ...Water? The elemental master of Water was never accounted for, were they?

[7:51] Arcturus. We’ve heard of him.

[7:46] Only one can remain. That’s the phrase of the season, ain’t it?

...Pythor took that too literally, huh.

[7:21] So… they were both demigods or gods in their full right, potentially.

Considering that the FSM made the world, and was alive when Garmadon was bitten? Why was he unable to reverse it? Why couldn’t someone who made the world undo something like it? Not to question someone who is basically god’s authority on here, but why the fuck couldn’t he undo the venom?

[6:54] ...and so Cole’s ancestor was a traitor. Holy shit.

[6:19] WAIT WAIT THE STORIES CONFLICT WHAT THE HELL???

The Serpentine say they went in willingly. The Humans say they sent them in. What’s the truth, here?

Should I expect answers? Probably not, but can’t a girl hope.

[5:49] ...the page Nya stole. She stole the opening key to the Cursed Realm.

[5:25] That someone told you that like… a few hours ago, actually.

[4:58] Metalonia. Creative genius went into that name.

[3:49] ...wait. So… so Chen will send everyone here into the Cursed Realm? Including his own daughter? What the fuck, man!

[2:36] man Jay was just like… shockingly chill in accepting his own death. i mean he isn’t dead but like. he probably thought he’d be

[2:20] FUCK OFF SKYLOR. SHE’S. SHE’S SEEN ZANE.

[1:46] OH GOD

[1:05] No, that wasn’t the right spell. Clouse still has it.

This is to bring in an army of Anacondrai.

[0:40] Holy shit. He’s… he’s going to bring back the Anacondrai. If it’s a transformation spell, it doesn’t matter that Pythor had eaten the rest of his kind.

It means that somebody is going to be transformed. It’s now a matter of who.

[21:01] I swear, whoever is doing the vocal editing needs to consider volume. The echoing effect they seem to love is making it sound like there’s no such thing as an inside voice, and I’m going to complain about it every time. It’s my reaction, and if it bugs me, of course I’ll write that down.

[20:45] literally fortune cookies are super common in media. maybe they’re not that common in Ninjagian media?

[19:45] DFSHSFKJGKSDJ

[19:06] Okay, so Shadow v Poison happened offscreen. I don’t like Chen remarking on how she was a bit hard to swallow. If he fed her to the snake, I won’t give a shit about how she basically got like no screentime, because that is another fucking corspe on my mind and this show is getting too murder-happy with the minor characters for my taste.

[18:22] Fuck. FUCK.

[18:18] FUCK! FUCK!

[17:26] He… he admitted it? This… what? What is the point of that?

[15:58] Nya, get some volume control on that thing.

[15:06] Y’know, I don’t think it’ll be as cut and dry as that, considering we’re… what? Only halfway through the season? Plus, we barely know the guy.

[14:07] And it looks like we’re pulling a distraction first, then we get someone to grab the keys, and then let hell break loose from there (with someone, probably cole, getting zane and pixal on the way out)

[13:38] Honestly though, I love when we get to see characters in full Chaotic Bastard Mode. It’s really fun.

[13:07] Madlad got the keys!

[13:04] Zane’s dreaming again. Huh.

[12:46] Ice dragon? We getting ourselves a new dragon?

I guess it’s because we have to like, sell shit, because this is kind of… like… overriding the old dragon, y’know?

But new dragon nonetheless.

[12:33] (Cole hugs Zane after freeing him) that’s the good shit right there

[12:01] ...what did Nya see?

[11:16] fucking RUN!!!

[10:49] Oh, like those .io games. Like,, freaking do y’all remember the freaking dot game. the one where you were a circle and ate everything? and like the snake version of it?

anywho

[10:27] Well, one of you has to go ,,, uh

commit genocide i guess

like you’ve got at least a few seasons left before you die you’ll be fine

[7:33] ugh. can you please fuck up and be aware of it dareth.

[6:06] She’s clean. But it’d be too easy just to not get that tattoo. She is… extremely op, I really can’t trust her until we’re absolutely sure the Shadow guy is or isn’t the spy.

[5:09] welp. you did this to yourself, dareth. you can’t fucking boogie that hard

[3:41] Christ, the car is getting really beat up.

[3:29] what did i say about turning the volume down nya

[2:40] i believe this is what the kids call… glacier? well. can’t say i disagree

[2:31] Oh, go Nya!

[1:21] Nya got away!

[1:10] (Skylor drops the form power she took off Camille, revealing her as the spy) Oh, you motherfu

[1:07] FATHER???