it’s not the pizza guy.

part of my brain that still works: all cops are bastards

At the beginning

Me: haha this is fun :)

Near the end

Me: Yo where’s your horribly dense wine I’ve got coin

Merchant: What on earth are you wearing

Me: It’s called pants.

Me: Hey guy of knowing stuff what do you know can I see your dead kings

Ancient Inca man: Are you sent from the gods to annoy me

Me: WHERE’S THE SALT???

Random passerby: What is a European doing this far south

Me: Hey have you guys invented paper money yet?

Woman washing clothes: What are you talking about? Who are you?

Me: *takes a sip of my Ancient Greek wine I’m keeping in my hydro flask* Do you have paper money?

Woman: I suppose?

Me: What do you guys eat on these things? Fish?

Sailor: What the f*ck are you and where did you come from we’re in the middle of the ocean

Me: Can I have that fruit

Sailor: No. Absolutely not.

Me: *pulls a bag of popcorn and some peasant bread out of my backpack*

Roof climbing child: Who are you?

Me: Someone on a roof. *hands them some bread*

Child: Why are you dressed like that?

Friend: You know you’re supposed to water down that kind of wine right

me:

“and this, is what I use to protect trans women”

“How am I gonna stop some big mean transphobe from disrespecting both dysphoric and non-dysphoric trans people? The answer…”