as requested by @ambitionbled (it won’t let me tag you, sorry!)
❝How much have you had to drink?❞
❝You could have fucking alcohol poisoning!❞
❝Easy, there. Try to sit up.❞
❝I think I might’ve overdone it on the alcohol…❞
❝We’ve got to go get your stomach pumped.❞
❝I thought you said you were clean!❞
❝You are NOT driving like this!❞
❝You are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.❞
❝Drinking until you puke is not normal.❞
❝I want to go to sleep but I can’t find any sheep.❞
❝How do you show fish affection?❞
❝Taco Bell is open 24 hours, right?❞
❝Tequila is not my friend? YOU’RE not my friend.❞
-glasses on head- ❝Where did I put my glasses?❞
❝How do I tell my parents I’m a mermaid?❞
❝I’m not drunk enough for this.❞
❝Does playing Mario Kart drunk count as drunk driving?❞
-hugging the floor- ❝I’m trying to stop the floor from spinning.❞
❝Can we go out for fried chicken?❞
❝What’s the fucking point anymore?❞
❝Screw recovery. I want a drink.❞
❝I’m too sober for this shit.❞
❝I don’t give a shit what you think.❞
❝I seriously don’t feel too good.❞
❝I didn’t even have that much to drink.❞
❝Will you stop fucking interrogating me?❞
❝There’s a reason I drink so much.❞
❝You’re the reason I drink so much.❞
❝I’m only happy when I’m drunk.❞
❝You’re cute, you know that?❞
❝I’m bar-hopping tonight, wanna come?❞
❝What are you drinking, and why aren’t you sharing?❞
❝I’m having a party for two.❞
❝I’m usually too chicken-shit to say this, but…I really like you.❞
❝I don’t want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.❞