A Warrior's Quest

Everyone’s voices were muffled, dulled out, in the distance I heard someone calling my name. It might have been Qhuinn, it might have been John-Matthew. I couldn’t tell. My eyes were glued on the scene before me. The bodies, of those who used to be my parents, lay completely motionless. There was no raise or fall of their chest as when they were alive. I couldn’t stop watching the blood dripping from my father’s crucified body or the dark red blood that was still pooling around my mahmen’s body. Tipping my head to the side I watched the small pool of blood grow bigger and bigger around my mahmen’s head until it surrounded her. It was fascinating how fast blood still moved after you were dead. Why was that? I wonder if it was still warm, my mahmen always was so warm both to the touch and the way her smile warmed her face. I reached out to touch her to touch her blood to feel her… feel it one more time when suddenly someone appeared before me grabbing my wrist.

“Blay, damn it!” I recognized Qhuinn’s voice, but it wasn’t until he forced me to look at him by sticking his mug in my face that I saw him. “Blay, get up!” He yanked at me trying to get me to mover “you are to damn heavy for me to carry, get up you SOB!” I knew he was trying to get my attention rather than agonize me, but it didn’t matter. I shoved at his chest hard causing him to take a step back, his grip on my wrist and arm hardening. He went back. I stumbled and crawled up my focus now on him rather than my dead parents. “What the fuck is the matter with you! Leave me the hell alone!” I pushed at with all my weight using both my arms to do so. I yank myself out of his grip only to stumble backwards almost losing my footing again, this time it is John Matthew that breaks my fall. 

“What the fuck! What the hell is the matter with you?!” Qhuinn growls taking a step towards me, the look in his eyes a mix of hurt and anger. “Don’t fucking touch me!” The thought of him touching me made my skin crawl and I didn’t know why I just couldn’t have him touch me. I’d scream. Our relationship had been on a roller coaster ride ever since we went from friends to lovers. Even if it was painful being secretly in love with him when we were younger and it being unrequited love damn knew if it hadn’t been easier after all. Now our relationship was either sizzling hot or ice cold these days and right now it was a mix of both because I was pissed off, hurt angry and wanted to punch him in the face. The situation we were standing in now it was fuel to that anger I already had for him. And he was angry at me for his fucked up reasons mostly I thought he was angry at me because I wouldn’t take him fucking Layla and getting her pregnant, and they were going to have twins any day now, laying down. 

He wanted me to be part of it to play house with him and her. Fat chance in hell! Both of them could go to hell or Dhund for all I cared. I wasn’t having anything to do with them or their damn babies. I didn’t have anything against the twins, they were tiny, not that I knew because I hadn’t seen them. I just knew because two week old babies were tiny but they reminded me of deceit, from both Qhuinn and Layla. They made their bed, now they could lay in it.   I pointed a long finger in his face “Get the fuck away from me Qhuinn!” And with that I turned around and walked out the room. I was about to come undone and I refused to do so when Qhuinn saw it. He wasn’t allowed to see me weak, never again. 

In the rapid speed people got hurt to the point of death and kidnapped in this place I was no longer surprised they were walking up straight I was amazed at the fact they were all still here. The extreme emotions of anxiety and worry were hanging over the mansion like heavy fog that wouldn’t ease up and it felt like it had been like this for months now. I spent a few evenings with Blay watching movies, keeping each other company and the otherwise so easy going and friendly warrior had been quiet and withdrawn. Grahve, one of the trainees, was gone and had been so for over a week. Overhearing talk I knew the brothers suspected some asshat named Lash apparently he’d been terrorizing the brotherhood for years together with one named the Omega who was also the long lost brother of the Scribe Virgin. 

“The names of this lot are almost as fantastic as a bad horror movie.” I shook my head and turned the lamp on my desk off while closing the lid of my laptop. Standing I stretched, grimacing a bit at the dull ache in my lower back. As always I’d been at it for many hours without a break and at this point both my body and mind was tired.

“And hungry as fuck.” Leaving my office I was contemplating a pizza but I wanted homemade I prefered it actually since you could have the topping and as much as you wanted on it. Also the fact that it was often more healthier and tasted better. 

Entering the main house smiling I petted my stomach at the prospect of having pizza, the fact that I was feeling so content over this fact when the rest of the house lay quiet had me feeling a bit guilty. Not guilty enough to change my plans or be less excited to have homemade pizza for dinner and a movie to go with it. Heading right for the kitchen I almost walked right into Fritz as I met him in the doorway.

“Oh, I’m so very sorry Sire.”

“Oh my bad!” I grab him to table him as well as myself. Our eyes met and both of us chuckled.

“Sorry there, Fritz, my cravings for dinner has me in a hurry.” I say smiling as I let the older man go.

“No harm no foul Sire. Would you like me to make something for you to eat?”

“You know it is ok if you want to call me Manny.” I’d told him that many times yet he insisted on calling me Sire. 

“Yes, Sire, you have. Thank you.” And he smiled, old geezer. 

“I was going to make pizza but I’ll manage just fine if you think we have all the stuff for the making of it.”

“Yes, Sire, we do but let me help.” He pleaded.

“OK, help but then were making pizza for two and you have to sit down and watch a movie with me.” I insisted right back and before he could resist “I need the company.”

“Yes, well then, Sire, of course. I’d be most happy too.” 

Were taking things out and a thought hit me. 

“Have you the others had dinner yet… last meal or whatever you guys call it?” 

“No, no Sire, not yet. I am to start that after I help you with the pizza and movie, yes.”

“How about I help you out and we make pizzas for everyone?” I offered still digging around in the fridge for the stuff we needed. When there was no response I put the stuff I had down on the counter turning around to talk to Fritz who had this funny looking look on his face.

“What? Not a good idea? Don’t tell me vampires don’t eat pizza because then I am out of here for real.” There was no force behind my threat though, which I think surprised me more than Fritz. 

“No, they love pizza and I am pretty sure they will appreciate your fine gesture.” Fritz smiled and I grinned back.

“Good.” I suck my head back in the fridge for the rest of the stuff we needed when I felt a hand on my shoulder squeezing lightly. 

“You have had a hard struggle but you are a fine male, Manny, don’t think anything else.” 

“Hey, let that be our secret I have a reputation around here to protect and a reputation of being nice isn’t going to help.” I wink. 

“Your secret is safe with me.”

Crhis: [I was getting bored as fuck. My hands healed without complications, as if there would have been any, and that left me with a whole lot of time to think. Which was a bad deal for anyone around me at the moment. My self-imposed seclusion was driving me nuts (ironic, right?), and I needed an outlet before I was worth even less to the Brotherhood than I felt. I’d avoided the training center and gym like the plague, not wanting to take the chance that I might run into Qhuinn. Luckily, for me, I had holed myself up at the dorms while he stayed up at the manse. It made for an easy way to stay away from the awkwardness. It would be better that way for a day or more, I kept telling myself. Get my head on straight and all. But I couldn’t sit around any longer an /do/ nothing.

Mind made up, I changed into a set of training gear and headed down the tunnels, trying to squelch the mental commentary. It didn’t help. At least I wasn’t arguing with myself. 

Fuck it. If I see him, I see him. Just a trainee heading for a workout, keep in shape til we can get out and kill something.. Just going to pump iron or run or.. whatever I could.

Down one tunnel, left turn, through the door and one more long row before I came up to the double set of doors that led into the training gym. Taking a deep breath, I shoved one door open and went in, my mind clearing and focusing on the reason why I was here: to train and fight Lessers.] 

Blay: 

With determine step I walked towards the gym for a good workout. I was ready to work off some pent up energy. Wrapping my hands up as I walked and I rolled my shoulders a bit to warm them up, this lockdown was getting on everyone’s nerves. Even Tohr was getting growly and if he was getting growly things had gone far since the male was the most even tempered person any of us knew. But I was feeling good, it has been a long time since I felt this carefree and it made me more energetic than was good for any male in the mansion to feel for to long especially when on lockdown. And that was another thing for Wrath to get his head around and lift that shit. Yes  his shellac had been threatened but we couldn't stay cooped up forever because he was scared. Who the fuck wasn't scared to a point, we all were.

Until then it was up to each and everyone of us to stay busy. To keep ourselves as relaxed and entertained as we could and that was a task on it's own to deal with when a bunch of warriors and trainees were left to fend for themselves and boredom took over.

Entering the gym pushing the door open with my shoulders as I finished wrapping my hands.

“Nice.” I flexed my hands a few times making sure the straps weren't tight and sitting well. 

A grunting sound had me looking up and all the way down the room barely visible around the pillar were Crhis. I walked towards him with a smile, perfect a sparring partner.

“Hey man. How's it going?” stopping in front of his treadmill rolling my arms and shoulder as I spoke to warm them up. “How about blowing off some steam with a round of man-to-man sparring session?” 

Crhis: [One foot in front of the next. The sweat dripped freely down my shoulders and neck after an hour plus on the treadmill. Logging in more than twenty miles, I was still wound out tight but pushing it through. Another fifteen clicks and I’d go work out the free weights. Snapping the towel off the rail of the treadmill, a quick wipe off, toss to the side with the last one I’d soaked and pushed on until my legs went rubbery.

Slowing the machine down just a notch, I grabbed the bottle of water and slugged it down, adding it to the accumulation that would have Fritz humming with glee for something to clean up. Another few miles rolled by as I worked to keep my mind empty and focused on one foot in front of the other, the things the trainees had gone over in class the last time and how exhausted I could make myself before dropping into bed. 

That, I was not looking forward to. And only because my mind wouldn’t shut off. Movement from the corner of my eye got my attention, the male standing there with a grin on his face none other than my cousin. Killing the motor of the treadmill, I dropped to a standstill on wobbly legs in under two breaths, hands grabbing the rail long enough to step off.] 

Hey man, I’m doing. [I swallowed a few breaths and glanced over at the sparring mat then back at Blay and chuckled as I took up another clean towel and did a quick wipe down.] Heh, yeah, that sounds good, why not?

 Blay:

Laughing lightly I watched Crhis get off the treadmill with wobbly legs, it was obvious by his rubber legs and the sweat pouring of the male that he had more than a decent warm up. “Maybe we should have you chug down a gatorade and a protein bar or something for a few minutes before we get started. I don’t want you to go down to hard to fast, it takes away from the joy beating your ass.” I say a huge grin on my face to show I’m being a smart ass. 

Without waiting for a reply I walk over to the small snack bar area at the other end of the room opening the fridge there and grabbing a drink for the both of us and a protein bar for Crhis. As I turn around the male is already there standing there leaning against the bar counter waiting to be served. 

I hand him the drink and bar leaning back against the opposite counter and open my bottle of water taking a sip. 

“So, how’s things? Classes and shit. I’ve heard that Z and Rhage are busting your balls extra much now when there’s a lockdown.” 

There was so much pent up energy everywhere that everyone was doing their damndest to get that shit out so they wouldn’t go nuts, Z and Rhage had been going hard on the trainees in class.

Crhis: [Food was the last thing on my mind, but since I didn’t want to put up a public fuss I nodded and followed Blay to the snack bar.] Gatorade sounds better than water right now.

[And it did. I chugged water like it was going out of style, but something with taste would hit the spot for now. Taking the drink and protein bar, I cracked the top off the bottle and took a long pull, the cold liquid soothing the dry burn in my throat.]

Classes are good, brutal but needed. [Nodding once to Blay's comment, I had to agree with him. This was my first lockdown and I had to say it was boring as shit. Working out daily was a given even without rotations in order -I'd had plenty of days off and still worked out like I was up next- but with no other outlet, it was bordering on driving me batshit crazy.] 

Rhage throws some badass moves around and Z's wicked skills with explosives and the mechanics of it all are only what I /wish/ I had a fraction of skill in. [Tearing into the snack, I made short work of the bite-chew-swallow routine and tossed the wrapper in the recycle and finished off the Gatorade.]

Blay:

Something was off with Crhis or rather I knew what was off, everyone knew but I sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up. He didn't need that, he needed to blow some steam off and then chillax with a few comedies or pool. I could suggest that later if the male showed an interest in wanting to hang out. For now this would do for the both of us.

I kept the conversation going until he finished his protein bar and drink. I was surprised that he didn't argue and try to get out of it somehow.

”Yeah, Z is killer with the explosives next to V for sure. I swear he gets off on it almost as much as his Shellan.” I say chuckling at mummy own joke. As for Rhage, no one can take away from him that he doesn't know how to throw a punch or two because he does. He's badass! They are great fighters!

Damn I miss being out there on the streets.” 

I walked over to the equipment shelves as I spoke grabbing what we needed only to dump it on the bar top.

“You ready to get your ass kicked or what?” I grin wagging my brows.

Crhis: [I nodded at Blay's comments on the Brothers, each thing he said was true about them, and the underlying adoration for the males shone through. I fully concurred. 

These males that took the time out of their days and nights to train individuals to fight in this war against the Lessening Society and the Omega, at the expense of time away from both their families and being on the streets protecting the race. Each and every trainee aspired to throw in and do the same. Some just towed along more baggage. Like me.]

I feel ya’, cuz. Nothing pumps the blood like a night out hunting.

[Looking through the equipment the male dumped out, I nodded to myself in approval and flashed Blay a cocky smirk and teased.]

Who says you can lift your boot that high to hit my ass?

Blay: 

Snorting out a laugh at Crhis cocky and joking attitude I threw a few air punches and ended with a high kick for no other reason than to show off. “I think I can handle myself just fine, even for the half old male I’m becoming.” I say winking at Crish punching him on the shoulder so he rock back on his heels. “Get yourself ready, kiddo” I drag the word out to emphasize it and trigger him a little. I know that Crhis been feeling off lately, racking himself down and taking the blame for loads of shit that wasn’t his to feel guilty about. The whole thing with his family wasn’t just extremely sad but was still affecting him negatively. I was glad my parents had taken him in when he had no one else and that we were given a chance to become each other’s family now. I knew he had what it take to become a fine warrior if only he would let go of the past and not let it keep eating him from the inside out. I was going to help build him up, get his confidence back so he could let the past go and move on, or should I say, I’d try by becoming the brother maybe both him and I needed. “Come on, warrior, get your ass up in that ring and fight like your life is depending on it!” I Jumped up parting the two ropes raising my eyebrow at him in a ‘are your coming or not’ question.

Crhis: [Blay's taunt and minor showcase moves made me grin a little behind the gruff snort I let out. He was trying to make me feel better, but even that wouldn't bring them back, nothing would. I had the last few years to play the self-guilt card, and frankly, it was getting old and worn like a favorite jacket or boots. Eventually it needed replacing by something better, more durable. 

Following Blay and stepping into the ring, I worked for a minute to focus. Training. That's why I was here: to train with the Brothers and help in the war against the race. The Omega and his spawn of baby powder minions needed eradicating, and who better to exterminate them than us.]

Right, cuz. Hold on to your fangs. This is gonna tickle a little. 

[Bracing my feet and bouncing on my toes for balance, I gave a few air punches to stretch and then gave Blay a nod.]

Blay:

And so the dance began, I let Crhis get a few good punches in and get his head in the game, doing so by tapping him a few times to in those sensitive places if for no other reason than to get his head in the game. Crhis had a temper and we all knew it and tapping into that would make sure he put whatever fuckery going on behind him, at least for now. 

I could see the second I managed to get him annoyed, his eyes sparkled and he gave me that look, and chin out. He came at me and got me good before I ducked under his next blow only to get him in his left side. 

“Oh, come on little man, is that all you got.” I teased urging him on not standing still but moving around waiting for him to come at me. I was breathing hard but smiling, this was fun and getting Crhis to wake up and liven up some instead of seeing his mopy face was a bonus. And then when the opportunity open I charged him going for a quick jab to the jaw and then his opposite side. 

Chris:  [Like a well choreographed dance, we dodged and punched, hit the mats and rolled back up to spin and kick, losing track of time. At first I thought Blay was humoring me by letting me get in a few good connecting shots, but I knew better when he’d started darting back in with hits that spoke of year’s worth of experience. 

Watching mine cousin and trying to anticipate his next move took my focus off dwelling on what had plagued my wellbeing over the past days. And I was glad for the distraction because I almost didn’t catch Blay’s move in time. The blow to my jaw caught me square and the subsequent hit to my ribs knocked the wind out of me, knocking me off balance and pissing me off with the ribbing.] 

I’ll show you a little man. [Spitting sideways without taking my eyes off my opponent, I growled low and launched where I thought Blay would next bounce to, catching the male above the belt with a shoulder and took him down to the floor in a wild sprawl, his flippant retort cut off. The warrior’s body flatbacked with a cursed grunt and on the next breath flipped in a twisted backwards somersault, my arm caught in the bend of his body and torqued around behind me before I could peel my nose off the matting. 

It felt like a loaded semi had parked over my real estate, my shoulder and arm a screaming burn of muscle. Gritting my teeth and trying to twist my way out from underneath, it wasn’t happening; my redheaded cousin had locked himself down hard and I was going nowhere.]

FUCKER! [My free hand slapped the mat in forfeit of the session and just as instantly the pressure eased off the burn, air rushing to fully inflate my lungs with a bruised ego fueled chuckle. A pair of feet filled my vision and an offered hand up, which I took with another grumble, knocking my fist to Blay’s and turned to swing the circulation back into my arm and shoulder. Walking back to the small bar and grabbing two fresh bottles of water, I handed one to Blay and snagged up a clean towel to wipe the sweat off my face.]

You’re gonna have to teach me those moves of yours, cousin. Especially that backwards flip twist. That could be a real bone buster with more torque. 

[The crack of the plastic bottle caps filled the silence for a moment while we rehydrated and caught our breath before getting into a heated discussion on the finer points of takedown maneuvers. 

Which ended up in more demonstrations.]

The rain was coming down heavy outside my bedroom window it made many of the members of this family antsy but I found it therapeutic. The sound always made me feel relaxed, almost to the point of sleepy, and today when the moon was out too and the garden was half lit up you could see the rainfall on the leaves of the trees and the ground. My back was leaning heavily against the window seal, my legs bending at the knees and my sneaker covered feet planted on the wall before me; arms wrapped around me like a warm blanket.

The mansion was this weird quiet, tense as if something or someone soon was going to blow up, people were drawn back into their rooms, doing gods knows what but they weren’t spending time with each other. Even Lassiter was staying away or doing whatever it was what Lassiter did when he wasn’t around any of us. I worried about him sometimes, I knew he was doing better or rather he said he was, but I wasn’t too sure how much I believed it.

There had been a time where Lassiter and I, well together with Qhuinn, had been really tight, as tight as people could be without being in a relationship. And now at least I thought we felt further apart than ever and quite honestly I didn’t see or feel that changing anytime soon. That was the sad part. I missed it, the way it used to be, the friendship, the love, the belonging. Yet I knew this was part of life and how it worked, things changed and people changed with it and we all had to learn to live with it. I also knew that missing something and getting it back, or even want it back, wasn’t necessarily something that went hand in hand.

On top of it, I didn’t know what I wanted and that was my biggest problem. I couldn’t say if my biggest fear was the fear of rejection or learning that nobody really loved me at all. Maybe I had changed too much to be lovable. Maybe they all saw the darkness lingering deep in the pit of my stomach and that made them all leave.

Brotherly love, friendship kind of love or even mate kind of love. I couldn’t even say if I wanted any answers to any of my questions because I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

And that was just all so very sad and utterly pathetic how it all affected me so much.

A lot of things for a lot of people were up in the air right now, I included, and not knowing was as they say worse than knowing that you lost. What didn’t help was the lockdown that had was now lifted but the force of it still lingered and the war with the Omega and his Lessers, Lash in particular didn’t help one bit. It had all of us on edge, not knowing where either of them would hit us next was terrifying and frustrating as hell all at the same time.

Using my finger I wrote out the word love on the cold dimmed window with big capital letters, the one word shining like the brightest star on the otherwise bare glass.

Sighing deeply I wrapped my arms harder around myself. I didn’t want to think about it.

The only positive thing at the moment was that at least all the shit that had happened the past year with the Omega and people breaking up; at least Crhis and I had gotten the chance to get closer. I was an only child and he didn’t have any other family than my parents and I, it made us family in the biggest sense of what family meant being blood and all. It was extra nice that we had each other right now with everything that went down but I also knew it made my parents happy, knowing Crhis was “taken care” of and that he felt like he had a place or several places he could call home, both here at the mansion but also my parents house.

A buzz in my pocket had my gaze fall from the raindrops falling on the other side of my window as I wiggled my phone out of my jean pocket. I smiled as I saw my mahmen’s name on the screen and I answered with the same smile in my voice.

“Hello, mahmest dearest. How are you?”

“Blay!” my senses were on instant alert as I pushed off the window seal at my mahmen yell whispering across the phone. “They are trying to get into the house, Blay! We’re heading for the safe room. Blay run!” my mahmen’s voice yells before there was total radio silence.

I was hunched over my desk and laptop studying the results of the test I done from the blood I taken from Murdher, the last time he’d been in there. It wasn’t enough since it was from swabs here and there to get enough to do real testing on but enough to have me giddy like a teenage boy on prom night. The things these test indicated, was giving me ideas that more well done testing would explain a lot of differences between the human race and the vampire race. I wanted to know why, for example what changed so that they as vampires couldn’t after what Jane said transitioned go out into daylight.

Leaning back in my chair tapping a finger against my mouth as I considered what this all meant and what more I could do if I could draw blood from some of them and do real research. What would it mean for them and their future in the war they were heading into with those baby powder smelling puffs. The powder smelling being their own verbal explanation to the Lessers tank, me I couldn’t relate to how that was bad smelling since babies in my experience, not that it was a lot usually smelled pretty good. But then again maybe that was one of those weird fanger things that made them different, different in a way that I didn’t get yet because I didn’t have access to previous testings done, their blood or other personal health intel they so generously kept from me. Which was another thing that pissed me off by this whole ‘not-really-a-deal’ deal, they kept me here against my will but expected me to doctor them so to speak but they gave diddly shit back.

“God damn assholes.” I muttered to myself as I scrawled the test pages on my laptop screen.

But no matter how that was, I couldn’t help but to be curious and I had asked Jane some basic questions and she also showed me some things that helped me out so far in the testing I done myself. But I knew Jane had been to busy all around since she joined the brotherhood all those years ago to really focus on research and testing and maybe it was so that it wasn’t her first choice of practice either if given the choice. I wasn’t sure and we still weren’t really on buddy-buddy speaking terms right now either and that didn’t help those kind of conversations. If Jane and I were forced to work together she did most of the ordering around and I grunted if I had to give a reply. My problem wasn’t forgiving it was forgetting. And in this case in point, I couldn’t close my eyes and not see this whole spiel roll in front of my eyes like a bad TV movie that you just couldn’t stop to watch, it was that bad. I kept on losing her and each time I lost her it got harder and harder to come back from it. It was like a pit that got a mile deeper each time.

It sucked. But I knew this was the last time I would have to climb out of that hole because no matter how much I loved her that door was now forever closed. Even if time changed I was not going to put myself in a similar situation with her or anyone else again where I had to potentially deal with this emotional shit again. I also knew I had to deal and get over my hang-ups but sometimes it was just easier, even if more draining, to be angry.

“Manello, snap out of it. Geez you are giving me a headache. Get out or shut the fuck up already!” God I was tired of my own thoughts and I was deadly tired of being angry, yet it was the only weapon I had. I didn’t like being told what to do. I didn’t like bullies which they all were to a degree and I didn’t like being made an ass off which I’d let myself be done to in more ways than one. Yet here I was being tired and the only one who gave a shit or was suffering for it, well that was me.

The door to my small office flew open so fast and hard I most likely would have jumped out of my skin if there been any room to do it.

“What the fuck…!” Jane was in the door and had that “I mean business don’t argue” kind of look.

“Manello we got to go. Get your bag.” That was all she wrote before leaving the doorway empty and disappearing, not like ghosting, but rushing off.

“What the hell happened and who said I’m going!” I yelled after her.

“I’ll tell you on the way and I did.” that was her only reply before I heard a door open and close and I flipped her off behind her back.

With a huff and muttering I got up yanking a hold of my bag from the counter behind me and set off for the garage when getting there Jane was already there sitting in the hummer waiting with Tohr at the wheels. I just barely got the door closed before Tohr hit the gas and we were out of there.

“Thanks man for letting me keep my feet in tact.” I said glaring at Tohr’s profile.

“Sorry, Manny, but we are in a bit of a hurry. Multiply wounded.”

“Anyone dead?”

“No, thank the Scribe! At least not yet.” Tohr exclaimed.

“To bad.” I muttered.

“Manello! Shut it!” Jane harsh voice sounded like a gunshot inside the small space of the car. And when I looked in her direction she had turned around and was staring at me. If looks could kill I would have been a fart in the wind at this point.

“What is your problem?! I am here aren’t I. So you shut the hell up!”

“OK, kids, play nice.” Tohr said with his always so rational and calm voice. “It isn’t to late Manny maybe you’ll get your wish if you play your cards right.” Tohr said in a rather ‘fuck-you-asshole’ kind of a voice which was not his normal style as far as I knew about the guy. Well he could jump up and bite me.

Maybe if I played my cards right I could jump out at some point and make a break for it. If I just chose a place where there were a lot of people that wasn’t a bad idea. My heart started to beat hard in my chest at the idea of making a run for it. They would all be too busy to deal with all the wounded brothers and warriors it would take them a little bit to notice that I left.

When the car started to slow down I made myself ready to get out as fast as possible to get a good look at the situation not to evaluate who needed me the most but who was positioned the best to help me in my escape.

That idea made my insides roll because the idea of not helping someone in need of medical attention wasn’t really a forte of mine but at the same time I’d been in lock down with these freaks for way to long and I hated being forced. And then there was the research that I done, I’d slaved many hours over it and it was all back at the compound on the laptop I’d been given. And I wanted, no I needed to know more.

The car came to a full stop and I was out before the car was at a complete still and with a quick scan I jogged over to the person furthest away from the end of the alley but still closest to the the hummer. When I got closer I noticed that it was Blay and my heart stilled a bit. He was bleeding severely from his shoulder trying to keeping pressure on the wound with his hand, but it was easy to see that it wasn’t enough and that he was minutes from passing out.  

“I’m fine, Manny, help the others.”

“Fine, my ass.” I huffed as I opened my bag to get to the gauze and other supplies. “Get your hand out of the way and shut up so I can do my job.”

“Bossy, grumpy human.” I was looking towards the exit just a few feet away from me and then threw a glance back at the others, the car was partly blocking us so this was my chance. I could put some gauze in Blay’s hand and then just take of. Jane would help him or V. “Leave if you like.” Blay’s voice was low and raspy “I won’t say a word. I know you feel like a prisoner Manny and I can’t really blame you. So there’s your chance, go.” I looked him in the eye as he spoke and thought about what he offered me. What was offered me back in my real life and back at the mansion.

I kept on working on Blay as my thoughts kept spinning inside my head. I had my job, at St. Francis Hospital, well as long as they hadn’t sacked me for not showing up for over a year but then again I had a job with the Brotherhood too. And they seemed to have enough money to invest in research than any hospital on the map which in it is own was all research was about. The idea of getting to prod my brain into something like this figuring out a new species was beyond exiting, at least if they would ever let me really do what I could do.

I looked back into Blay’s eyes who was still on me waiting for me to reply or leave or something.

“God damn it! Just shut the hell up before I stuff this gauze in your mouth rather than using it to stop your bleeding.” I threatened waving it in front of his face before placing it over the wound in his shoulder and applying pressure.

“Awww, you like us and can’t leave now” Blay voice sing songed. After binding his shoulder I reached into my bag for a syringe and special pain med that Jane developed for them and with little to no care at all I stabbed it in his arm and he let out a low hiss and I couldn’t help but to smirk.

“Damn sadist.”

“Oh, shut up and stop being such a whiny baby.”

“I am so going to send Vincent on you when I get back to the mansion. He is going to go all feral on you.” Blay threatened back but his eyes were dancing with humor even now laying there hurt, in pain and dealing with a prick like myself.

“Uhu, send your little man to deal with me, coward.” Blay coughed out a laugh.

“I’ll have you know, Vincent, is everything but little.” At first I simply stared at him, my mind blank and I think that is what the expression on my face was to because Blay looked awfully content with himself.

“Oh, I’m leaving you to die right here. Fucker.” I muttered getting all the waste off the ground and showed in my bag before I was going to get up and go help the next freak that needed me. I guess my curiosity had gotten the better of me and it made my choice for me. I was going to stay and do whatever the fuck they wanted me to do even if I didn’t like it just so I could do more research on them and their species. I was half way up when Blay grabbed my arm catching my attention yet again.

“What?” I asked looking at him once more.

“Thank you.” I opened my mouth to fob him off but he squeezed my arm even harder forcing me to look closer “No, I mean it. Thank you for staying, we need you and even if you don’t see it now I think you need us too.”

Blay: *It been a week since the incident without a name, where Vincent left our room; or should I call it my room since he never officially moved in. No because my dumbass self had managed to scare him off because I couldn't keep my dark side hidden. How dumb could one person be?! I'd asked myself that dozens of time since last weekend and I still had no answer to and why it was so important to me. All I knew was that those last couple months in captivity had undone me and pandora's box was open and unable to be shut.

To be perfectly honest I couldn't willingly say that I wanted to have it closed. The idea of exploring that part of me, to fully see what kinks I truly enjoyed the most, sent a thrill down my spine, into my gut only to pool right in my groin. I wanted to take him to the Whip and watch him as he watched the shows to see what turned him on and what made him shy away. I wanted to experience it all with him. But that was the thing, it was what I thought I wanted, not what Vincent wanted.

Entering the dining room I had a seat at my usual place, it was time for first meal and I hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before but still I wasn’t really hungry. “Good morning.” I said with a gentle smile trying to conceal that anything was wrong. I was about to sit when Vincent walked through the door and I was caught mid motion standing still just looking at him. I hadn’t seen him in a week and my mind went into overdrive the second I saw and scented him.*

Vincent:   *I had a renewed appreciation for the doggen of this mansion since Fritz quietly moved me into a room on the other end of the hall after I left Blay’s room.  The servants knew everything that transpired within these walls, and they discreetly went about their business, which was a bonus for me. I spent the week going between the mansion and the training centre with none of my fellow trainees knowing what was doing.  

I didn’t want to move back to the dorms, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to move in with Blay after the conversation we had.  I avoided him and it worked well thus far, but the queen personally welcomed me to the manse and requested that I join the rest of the household for first meal.  It was a request I didn’t feel I could deny and that’s how I found myself standing at the entrance of the dining hall.

Taking a deep breath, I walked in and looked around to see where I could sit.  My eyes met his almost immediately and just as I was about to turn and look for a seat on the other side of the large, long table, Fritz came up to me and showed me to the seat next to Blay’s.  Both of us stood behind the chairs, looking at each other. My stomach did all sorts of dips and turns and looking into those perfect blue eyes had me yearning for his touch, but I didn’t make a move*  

Uh, hey.  Beth invited me to join first meal, if that’s okay with you?

Blay: *I couldn’t take my eyes off him, I am not kidding, I simply couldn’t. The moment I saw him I wanted to reach out and touch him, pull him into my arms hug him and tell him I loved him. At the same time somewhere in the pit of my stomach I was boiling with anger for him just ignoring me for a week. If that was how he was going to act everytime we disagreed or wanted different things we wouldn’t make it a year, no matter how much we loved each other.

Still I was happy to see him, that he looked like he was ok. And maybe now if he was forced to sit in my presence he’d realize that I was still me and not some other horrid version of me that he thought.

I smiled. “Why wouldn’t it be okay, Vincent, up until a week ago we shared a bed. Nothing has changed for me in regards of that. You should be safe for the next half hour.” I said with a wink pulling out his chair and indicated with a nod for him to have a seat. As he passed me to squeeze in between the chair and the table I inhaled filling my lungs with his scent and as always something stirred inside of me filling me with his heat and need to claim him. Mark him. Make him mine. I pushed in his chair as he sat only to sit down right next to him. “So, how’s your week been?” I asked as casually as I could. If he wanted to reply he could if he didn’t then I’d know I was still in the dog house. I still didn’t know how to deal with this, no idea at all.*

Vincent:  *Agony and delight played across Blay’s handsome features.  He was as conflicted as I was, or maybe not exactly the same way, but close enough.  I didn’t hesitate as I sat down and watched him take his seat next to me. It was still strange to have a male pull out my chair and treat me this way, but fuck it, I wasn’t complaining.  I was however aware that many pairs of eyes were focussed on us. This was the first time anyone had formally seen the two of us together and it caused me to shift uncomfortably in my seat.  What if they didn’t approve… What if…

The doggen interrupted my thoughts by placing a plate of butternut soup in front of me, and as I looked up to the side, I saw Blay’s face and realized he had asked me a question.  Shit. My nerves had gotten the better of me and now I looked like a fool. My mind raced to filter through the last two minutes to focus on the question. Oh, yeah. Okay*

My week?  Well, it hasn’t been great.  I got my ass handed to me in training by Axe, and I’m pretty sure Zsadist wants to hang me upside down for ruining his life because he has to keep staying late to give me extra training.  Other than that it’s been splendid.

*Lies.  It hasn’t been splendid.  I’ve been miserable without Blay, but I wasn’t ready to admit that just yet.  And me being miserable had quite the impact on my training this week since I couldn’t focus on anything*

Blay: *It was obvious that Vincent was nervous he fidgeted and jumped at simply being near me and maybe even being the dining room with the others. I realized as I looked around watching my family around us that this would be the first time for Vincent having a meal with all of us which in its own way was sad since things weren’t great between us. I didn’t even know if there was an us any longer all because I had this notion in my head, this dark need of… of owning him, making him mine and being his everything.

My eyes met Qhuinn's across the room and he was smirking, I stated back growling at him pointedly asking to back off. I knew Qhuinn and his sharp tongue and I didn't want him to embarrass Vincent or make the situation worse. I grabbed my napkin placing it in my lap using it as an excuse to touch Vincent’s knee with my fingers. “Don't let him or anyone psyche you out. You belong here just as much as them.” I gave his knee a squeeze before reluctantly removing my hand once more. I could feel the annoyance surge under the surface but I swallowed it down for no other reason that the one I was truly angry with was me. This was all my fault because just being with him wasn't apparently enough for me. “I'm sure you're overreacting. You're a great trainee and will be a even greater warrior. We all need that extra training at times… trust me I know.” I offer with a steady smile and wink.

Vincent:   *My heart skipped a beat, or two, as Blay’s hand brushed over my knee.  His touch bought a spark to my body and soul. A spark I wasn’t prepared for or ready for.  Or maybe I was ready for it, but I was unsure of my own reactions to this unfamiliar spark.

My eyes watched Blay’s reactions as we spoke and his reaction to the Brother Qhuinn ignited a surge of jealousy in me.  It was the kind of reaction Blay only had to the one male and I knew they had history and he was Blay’s crush and lover for a long time, but it bothered me that the male could still spark a reaction from Blay even while sitting across a crowded table.

Taking a deep breath and picking up my napkin to look casual, my words were hushed and laced with irritation*

Let’s drop the small talk and finish eating so we can have the conversation that’s overdue, shall we?

*Without waiting for a reply, I started eating like my life depended on it.  Luckily I didn’t look like a starved wolf next to the large Brothers as they scoffed their food down in a way that made them look like dangerous wolves with etiquette*

Blay: *The sudden annoyance and rebuffness from Vincent surprised me and I sat there looking at his poised profile for a long time ignoring the food in front of me. Vincent was giving Qhuinn the stinky eye, why I don’t know unless it was for the fact that Qhuinn tested. It was what Qhuinn did, it was what we all did, even if I’d wanted to comfort Vincent with that information, hence my earlier statement. But I don’t know how well it sat with me that he was pissed at Qhuinn… not that Qhuinn needed my help to defend his honor. He never had needed it so why start now. But Vincent being jealous, or whatever it was that he was, was now irritating me. What was this he didn’t want me or the version of me that I portrayed so no one could have me? Again not that there was no having between Qhuinn and I, but still. Or was it that Qhuinn and I had a past?

I turned my head to study Qhuinn for a moment. I couldn’t put a word for the feeling that made itself known inside but it wasn’t what it once was but Qhuinn was Qhuinn. He was my past and if Vincent couldn’t deal with that or me this new old version of me because I was changed since my bump in with the Omega and Lash, then what chance would Vincent and I have?

Looking back at Vincent I pick up my coffee mug and take a sip. I didn’t reply to Vincent, the way he was acting he didn’t want a reply either. I would let him lead on this conversation and just shut the hell up. With the way I was feeling at the moment I was ready to just snap right back and that would lead us nowhere. I loved Vincent but I felt trapped inside of myself and everyone expected good ‘ol Blay, and I didn't know if he existed anymore.

Vincent:  *I finished my food and picked my napkin up to wipe my mouth when I noticed Blay hadn’t touched his food. The instinct to hand feed him was so incredibly strong, I had to double check myself to make sure I wasn’t following through on the instinct. The last thing we needed was for the Brotherhood to focus their WTF glares at us. Luckily my hands were tightened around the napkin on my lap. After taking a long deep breath, I spoke soft enough for only Blay to hear*

Please eat.  

*As I said the words a thought sprung to mind that maybe I was the distraction and that’s why he wasn’t eating. Or was Qhuinn the distraction. Fuck. What the hell was wrong with me? I wanted to leap over the table and wipe that occasional grin off the Brother’s face. Why the hell was he annoying me this badly?  

Everything went silent.  The chatter stopped. The clinging of cutlery on plates stopped.  The only thing I could hear was growling. Loud growling. MY growling.  SHIT.

My lips were curled up, fangs bared.  At Qhuinn. Who annoyingly still had a grin on his face.  

I clenched my fists and turned to look at Blay, who looked like he was silently praying for the earth would swallow him in.  The word MINE was all my mind could muster and before I could help myself, I growled* MINE

Blay: *I was completely lost in thought, more or less spaced out, seeing Qhuinn but not really seeing him… he was just there as my thoughts of Vincent swirled in my mind. I was torn between stalking Vincent being on his heel til he changed his mind… demanding him to face his fears, facing me.

I was torn between that and wanting to strangle him for thinking I'd hurt him, for running instead of talking to me and making me feel more of a freak.

Somewhere off in space I heard him speak but instead of doing what he asks I open my mouth to speak but closed it again as I saw the look on Vincent’s face. His otherwise blue eyes are dark and angry, he's ready to tear someone's throat out and as I follow his gaze my own gaze fall on Qhuinn who of course smirks and wags his brows just to push Vincent further.

“Qhuinn” I warn but it was to late as a loud roar sounded and Vincent growling at Qhuinn stating his claim. Pushing out of my seat I put curl my hand around Vincent's arm pulling him up and start dragging him out of the room.

All eyes are on us, some concerned some amused. Qhuinn still smirking and holding Vincent's gaze. Vincent growls a warning taking a few steps towards Qhuinn.

“Qhuinn, enough!” I point a long finger at him before pushing Vincent towards the door. “And you snap out of it. He is not a threat to you.” Finally out of the room and alone I let Vincent go. “What's going on, talk to me?”*

Vincent:  *This wasn’t going to end well.  But I wasn’t backing down. The male has height and weight advantage over me.  Nevermind stealth, strength and stamina, but I didn’t give a flying fuck. I saw him eyeing Blay the entire time and now he kept up his not so subtle provocation.

I was about to lunge over the table at the Brother, when I felt Blay’s arm gripping mine and I turned to see the look on his face.  What was I doing? Why was I reacting this way?

We were halfway out the door when I turned to growl at the Brother Qhuinn once more before turning my back on the room and walking out with Blay.  Once outside, Blay stopped to talk but I shook my head and kept walking, up the grand staircase and down the corridor to Blay’s room. I wasn’t having this conversation where others could walk in on us.  Once inside, I turned to face those blue eyes*

I don’t know what came over me.  I got annoyed with him.

*I didn’t add in that Qhuinn was the type of male that could walk into a room and grab the attention of any male or female if he wanted to, and he had Blay’s attention before.  Fuck, he had the attention of the trainees in my class and I saw the affect the male had on them*

I didn’t mean to embarrass you.  I... l lost control and I should’ve known better.

Blay: *I glared at Qhuinn silently telling him to fuck off. There was no reason for him to provoke Vincent and yet he did for no reason but… what….boredom. I was going to kill Qhuinn, not at this very moment, because now it was more important to get Vincent out of there before he jumped across the table. Attacking a brother wasn't a good idea no matter how much of an asshole he was being.

In the hallway, Vincent slid out of my hold like a snake shaking off its old skin and I winched at the instant reaction a sting burn boring into my heart only to seconds later make me feel annoyed at myself for letting it affect me. But for a minute there I thought that Vincent changed his mind about us… about me and giving us a shot.

So, I followed him up the stairs and to my room so we could talk.

“It is fine, it isn't unusual for this sort of thing to happen you know. And you didn't embarrass me.” For a long time we stood there me right inside the door him by the window neither of us saying a word. Finally I can’t stand the silence anymore and I take a deep breath before speaking.

“Look, Vincent, let's just forget about everything I said about D/S. We can start over or pick up where we left off before I fucked up. The other part, it isn't important. You are.” I held my breath, because I didn't know how I'd react if he turned me down again.*

Vincent:   *There were a few things in life I held dear to me, and this male standing in this room with me, was one of those.  Our relationship moved at lightning speed and at snail pace all at the same time. It was mind boggling and I didn’t expect to understand what this was.  This was my first relationship with any gender and my inexperience undoubtedly showed.

The few moments of awkward silence gave me time to think about what I wanted and Blay’s words cleared up a few more things for me*

I don’t want to forget about what you said.  I want to understand you better, and I can’t do that if I don’t know you.  All of you. Not just the parts you think I can handle. But the dark and twisted parts of your soul too.  Give and take on both sides. I can’t promise a smooth ride, but I can say that we will go through this together for as long as you want us to be on this journey as a team.

Blay: *I started shaking my head as he was still talking. “No, that's not what I said and I'm not sure that's what you really want.” I could see him getting ready to argue and I knew putting words in his mouth was wrong but I knew I was right. “You ran Vincent. You ran like you had a killer on you tail. I think that says all that needs to be said about how you feel about this.” I sat down with a silent tired sigh allowing myself sit relaxing shoulders front and back bowed. I looked at my hands as I continued to talk. “You don't have to feel bad. It was a stupid idea. It means nothing really to me. I saw a couple thing once that just sort of stuck with me. It's not a huge deal.” It wasn't a complete lie I just left out the part of the things I seen was memories of myself from before that caused me to check it out for real just to see my own reaction. But Vincent didn't need to know that. He didn't need to know. I couldn't lose him too. I couldn't let that happen. I lifted my gaze to meet his “I love you and I can't lose you. I'll give you anything you need. Name it and it is yours.”*

Vincent:   *Lost in those blue eyes for a moment, I took it all in.  Took him in. He was holding something back and I wanted to know what it was, but there was a cautionary warning alarm bell ringing in my head.  Blay’s eyes were sad as he spoke about what he wanted. He truly would give me whatever I needed, and all I needed was him. His past was his past.  If he didn’t want to tell me his darkest, twisted life story yet I was okay with that. But I needed him to know I would face his demons with him*

You won’t lose me, Blay.  I’m here. I’m staying and we will figure this out together.  

*As I spoke the words, a part of me cautioned that this was a lie, but I wasn’t sure which part of that sentence it was referring to.  Me staying, or us being in this together. Only time would tell*

Let’s start with getting my clothes from the room I’ve been staying in and moving them back into your room, okay?