XYZ

The cycle of forgetting and then re-remembering trauma memories

Constant depersonalization and derealization

Feeling as if you're stuck living someone else's life

Failure to plan for the future because nothing feels real + losing time

Thinking a flashback is over when you've actually just dissociated away from it, and having it resume as soon as you stop dissociating

Dissociative stupor/trance

Alexithymia

Identity issues outside of alters

Inability to connect with other people

Being unable to tell if you've healed from a past problem/trauma or if you've just dissociated away from it

Not learning from past mistakes because of amnesia and dissociation

Feeling nothing psychologically despite physical shaking, racing heart, nausea, crying, etc

The extreme disorientation + identity confusion that comes with co-consciousness and co-fronting

Somatic flashbacks

it’s an admirable goal, nobody should ever have their mental disorder take over so much of their life that they can’t focus on anything else, but i think there’s a clear lack of understanding how deep this disorder can truly get.

it’s a trauma disorder that inherently gives you issues with your identity and who you are. for most people, it’s extremely hard to make that distinction. it’s something you live with day in and day out, even if there’s times of alter silence there’s a plethora of other symptoms that are right at the gate. sometimes it can feel like you have no choice but to talk constantly about it.

detachment, dissociation, lack of structured identity, it can be an entire mess for people. your own personal relationship with this disorder is going to be inherently different from others around you. if you choose to never speak about it or if you choose to talk about it daily, that’s your decision and neither should be seen as bad.

The thing about persecutors is that there is a high level of nuance that systems as a community (especially the cesspool of syscord) don't talk about in a way that can help recently discovered systems navigate a healthy relationship with these alters.

In case you need to hear this; yes, some alters and persecutors are not safe for the system or responsibilities outside the system. No, some alters are not ready to work on themselves through the power of 'magic and friendship'. Some are violent towards the body or other things like animals/pets, wanting to destroy precious items or spend the system's money maliciously, or intentionally wanting to hurt people close to the system. THIS IS NOT THE SYSTEM'S FAULT OR THE COLLECTIVE ACTIONS OF THE ENTIRE SYSTEM WHEN AN ALTER DOES ACT THIS WAY. However: It is the system's responsibility in this situation is to do everything it can to control said alter's fronting or take appropriate actions to minimize this behavior/damage.

"That's not nice :(((" is going to mean nothing to them. Some will take years of help and patience to become a team member in the system, and safe to front alone.

One of our oldest members was a persecutor who did not begin his healing until almost 8 years later. It was not until his actions led to him losing the most important person and the only thing he cared about for him to finally be ready to listen and see his faults. And for some alters it will unfortunately be the only way to get off that path and listen.

This alter is not a bad person for how they formed; it is so important to remember that alters form as they are for a reason, and persecutors are most often doing things or believing fully their actions are the right ones, for the system's well-being or their own. And while you need to keep your system safe, you also have to have that patience and system teamwork extended to the struggling alter. In extreme cases, professional help is most often what is needed, especially when they pose a physical threat to others or the body.

They may spit in your face, and threaten that the second they are free they will do horrible things. But It is going to take a combination of both listening to this alter and granting them humanity, while also protecting yourself and people who are at risk of these alter's actions.

INTEGRATION IS WHEN YOU LOWER AMNESIC AND COMMUNICATION BARRIERS BETWEEN ALTERS THIS IS A GOOD THING AND YOU SHOULD BE WORKING TOWARDS THIS NO MATTER YOUR RECOVERY GOAL

FUSION IS WHEN 2+ PARTS BECOME ONE PART

dissociative identity disorder is migraines and intense headaches when dissociated.

dissociative identity disorder is confusion and finding it hard to even form sentences at times.

dissociative identity disorder is every negative reaction to a situation that you could imagine, reactions that aren’t even coming from you.

dissociative identity disorder is feeling so detached from your own self that you have no idea who you are and what you even enjoy.

dissociative identity disorder is impulsivity and self destruction in so many ways. it can be violent and feel completely out of your control.

it’s so much more than just the disorder where you have alters, it’s something that can affect your every emotion and how you feel connected to the world around you. it’s a horrifying and isolating experience that takes you out of the life that you should be living your best in.

Each fictive has their own unique personality, feelings, and experiences. They are real individuals within the system, formed through internalizing and identifying with characters from media that hold significance to the host or other alters. Fictives may share traits with their fictional counterparts, but they also possess their own distinct thoughts and emotions.

It's essential to understand that fictives play a meaningful role in the DID/OSDD system. They contribute to the system's overall functioning and often serve as valuable sources of strength and support. Treating fictives as real individuals, respecting their autonomy, and acknowledging their importance is crucial in fostering a healthy and supportive system dynamic.