💣 GET RICH QUICK ! 💣

But uh. You're maybe forgetting someo--

The office door surprisingly remains in-tact, but the area of the wall next to it now has a comically demolitionist shaped hole next to it. Oh. Oh hello, Anton. He practically storms up to Wario before he can react in his saddened haze, and yells--

"WARIO YOU SAD OAF. WHERE'S YER GUNPOWDER."

Spoken like a man who at least looked a full hour for your supposed stash. One would ask why nobody stopped him from getting in here, but it's Anton.

For once, Wario was glad they weren't around.

Since he's been away, his team became a bunch of perceived slackers! Leaving the unfortunate CEO absolutely NO choice but to fix an entire company's worth of work alone. No time for a second job; no time for a good fight.

They deserved Wario at his best. Not ... Whatever this was.

Explosions and laughter echoed from the hall as Wario picked his nose. Internally, he hadn't noticed — accustomed to tuning out Dr. Crygor's experiments as background noise. Why would he think this was different?

Anton would barge in to see Wario at his desk, glued to his laptop screen. He doesn't register the figure in his peripheral vision as Anton. But they sounded familiar and clearly needed something from him. So...

❝ There's a secret room in the basement, ❞ He callously waved off, ❝ I thought I told you guys top stop bugg— ❞

Finally, his eyes drift up.

❝ Waaario's fine. ❞ He replied with unusual plainness, readjusting himself at his desk. Once settled, he ripped the outdated laptop open and restored his windows. ❝ Just realizin' how much slack I've been allowin' those LOSERS. ❞

He begins to furiously type, growling a bit as he leans closer to the screen.

❝ See this is EXACTLY what I'm talkin' about! ❞ He gestured with a shout. ❝ JIMMY! You of ALL people should know what I want. Why are you submittin' this CRAPOLA ... !? ❞

... Sigh. He slumped back into his chair and stared at the code that advanced too fast for him to keep up with. He knows what some things shouldn't look like, at least, so he'll start there ...

...

Truthfully, he hadn't been great. CC's absence shifted their lives considerably — haunting Wario to his core. In the beginning, his chumps sat through his horrible ups-and-down. When he mellowed, they began making plans. Annoying as it was at first, he grew to enjoy the times they'd drop by the house with homecooked meals and pastries.

But as those days shifted into months, he watched their enthusiasm for the care dwindle.

... Not to say they were annoyed with him, (it takes more than THAT to get rid of THOSE losers,) rather that Wario was sick of seeing their pained expressions in realizing there was no true way to ease his pain. Knowing they had all tried their hardest and it still wasn't enough.

So... emptily, he picked himself up.

After a while, some things got easier... but some things also got harder. From what he gathered — after she threw him, CC used Wario's own shoulder bash against that snake and ...

Wario rubbed his temples, returning his focus to the screen.

❝ Yeah. Waaario's fine. Just busy, y'know? ❞ Tck, tck, tck ... ❝ This happens sometimes. But that just means more MONEY in the end, HA! ❞ He shouted again, without even a chuckle.

Tck ...

Tck ...

. . .

. . .

The Witch of Diamond City dangled from her broom as she observed the WarioWare company building. Ashley was always the first to leave, so what was she doing hours after work studying her boss in secret? 

Boss, by the way. Not a friend (ew), acquaintance or even a ‘ Wario. ’ Her boss was the one keeping them on schedule, double-checking for bugs, and taking on overtime like it was his last shot at redemption. Her … Their friends all had a guess for Wario’s sudden shift in demeanor, but what could they say? What could they say, when their lives could continue on but his couldn’t. That they could continue to be happy, when he couldn’t. They all wanted to be there in any way they could for Wario, but at the end of the day …

Once something is truly lost, you can never get it back.

Ashley couldn't rely on her friends to handle this one, could she... She watched as some of the group uncomfortably adapted, while others simply came in less. Alarmingly, Jimmy T. was losing his touch — Springing Ashley into action.

She pulled her broom around, and made her way home.

Having arrived, Ashley skipped her usual after-work snack and went directly for the study. Red trailed behind quizzically, be remained quiet. Once she had multiple stacks piled high around her desk, she snapped at the little imp to prepare her tea. This was ... going to be a long night. Especially because ... she didn't know what she was looking for.

Ashley just wanted to see Wario happy again.

And just as she grabs it, something foreign slips from the inside of a book and lands on the carpet. It was too pristine to be a spell, and too small to be a bookmark... Did someone break in, or was there something bigger at hand?

Ashley snatched the card up in an instant, flipping it repeatedly as her eyes slowly widened.

She ... still doesn't know what she's looking for, but ...

Aw, c'mon Gold. First you wear a cute party hat, but now you've got the cutest Pokeyman on your team carrying a little cake? AND you've slapped a party hat over his usual, yellow cap? Now you've got him embarrassed . . . But once the cake is on a stable surface, he throws that embarrassment to the wind and immediately dives for the treat, ripping out chunks to cram as much cake into his mouth as he possibly can.

❝ ISHGOOFD — ❞ Crumbs fall out of his mouth as he pet Sable. ❝ REARYGOOFD. BESHTCAKE. EVAR. ❞ Wario ripped out another piece, and offered it to Gold.

❝ DONTJUSHTB— ❞ He paused. ❝ Don't just STAND there, kid — dig in! ❞

Hi Wario. Guess who didn't forget your birthday. Starfy visibly beams a bit as his smile is unfaltering. The little star holds up a small, wooden chest, full of the sea's local currency. Small blue pearls with little stars visible inside of them, of course. It probably amounted to like. What, 50 bucks at most? But it's the thought that counts from the little guy.

Yeah, sure, it may amount to fifty bucks at most, but . . .

Do you see him complaining?

The entire chest is scooped up as his eyes sparkle with long-lost life! It truly isn't about the money — Every coin, pearl, or gem was proof of adventure. And, even if they weren't collected on a trip . . . Something at least warms him up to know each pearl made Starfy think of him.

The little star gets scooped up, and squished tight! Though he doesn't say anything, he can't help but laugh.

"I'd never forget this date. Here."

He holds the cupcakes out to the other, his eyes still hidden by the all too convenient shadow of his cap. The cupcakes are so painfully normal. There's genuinely no strings attached in this offer.

GB just genuinely likes Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins, enough to take time out of his oh so busy days to do this. How he hasn't gotten bored of the simple Gameboy game is anybody's guess. But just know, any reaction would make him happy. Hatred. Casualness. Nothing at all. Did he even make these himself? Does it matter?

Of course, he doesn't trust him.

. . . But, with his mind intact, he begrudgingly admits there is little reason to trust him on this day.

He blankly stares at the cupcakes, their arrangement mocking him. Somewhere in the muddied past, a gentle voice presents Wario with something similar. A warm voice congratulated the boy, as a gentle hand ran down his back. And he returns her hug, tighter than ever before — because if he could rely on anyone, it was Ma.

. . .

Is there nothing sadder than finding comfort in a past that may not exist?

But it's that pathetic comfort that causes him to snatch his first cupcake as the crumbs fall to the ground.

Stops picking his nose.

Once her personal lift deposited her on the top floor, steps approached Wario's abode and all of the personality it toted. Upon the door would a light rap be heard, a gentle knocking administered by the impromptu visitor. Then, once more with some additional oomph, just in case her first wasn't loud enough. Was Wario expecting guests? Well, certainly not this one, at the very least. He and Rosalina hardly spoke, to be honest. She always made sure to converse with him once or twice after go-karting or golfing or what have you, but she'd certainly never made a house call before.

She just felt the need to visit. It had been a while since she last touched down on the planet he and so many of her special ones called home. And upon arrival, a twinge in her chest just said... check in on him. So here she was. If he was even home to begin with.

Wario never locked his front door. This is a fact especially true after his most recent loss. His busy friends could come-and-go whenever they made time to check in on their boss; showering with condolences and meals to last him a lifetime. Locking the front door would only discourage their visits, if not stop them outright — and, as counterintuitive it seemed, separated his clique from the strangers.

The polite tap gave (some of) Rosalina away, leaving Wario with a frown as it persisted. Gustavo, Mario, and his green brother would have announced themselves, Bowser was the furthest thing from subtle, and the princesses were... well, just no. With a groan, he pulled himself up, approached the entrance, and yanked the door open.

❝ THE SIGN SAYS NO SOLICITERS, JERKW— ❞

. . . . . . aieeeeee????

— BANG!

The front door crashed shut, muffling the odd noises that followed. A chicken squawking loudly, trash bags being stuffed (and promptly thrown out one of the side windows), the chirping of a confused Pokémon, the grinding of furniture across the floor, and more chicken bawking...

Until, at last, silence.

The door creaked open, as Wario peeked through the crack to confirm Rosalina was not a figment of his imagination. He heaved as he pulled the door open the rest of the way. Cyan eye shadow does nothing to hide the dark look in his eyes, and hairs stray from that iconic lighting bolt 'stache. Just her being here was enough to steal the potential words from his mouth — leaving his jaw agape as his eyes met hers. His experience sought wrongdoing, any reason for her presence as if he were about to be in trouble.

When nothing came, it was then he mustered the courage to speak.

❝ ROSIE. ❞ Blunt and filled with the same disbelief in his pupils, Wario shifted. What a house call! The past weeks stretched so long that he'd almost forgotten the other part of his life. Would go-karts even fix him at this point. He welcomed her in as he straightened up. ❝ Err — What can-a Waarrrio do for you? ❞