Quaerens Veritatem

Social gatherings providing an uproar of high energy, for everybody was having a good time. You could feel it in the air.

I stood there in comfort, basking in the enjoyment of the nights good vibes.

A sudden feeling of high energy took over me, followed with lines of inquiry as I wanted to know the reasoning behind this energetic phenomena.

As I turned my head, it was within seconds I had found that reasoning.

It was her.

Instantly I was infatuated with her beauty. Her bodily and facial configuration was mesmerizing.

My infatuation with her beauty was replaced with curiosity for her mind once she spoke using such profound creativity and intellect.

She began to speak and like a student in lecture I listened, hoping she’d allow me into the deepest corners of her mind.

She would speak and after each sentence vocalized from her lips, I would stand there picking her apart, dissecting her mind.

From the beginning I could tell she was guarded, for she has mastered the art of self-protection.

Here and there she would reveal tiny gems from the depths of her being,

And each time, I could feel my existence amplify.

The more she would reveal, the more thankful I became for that very moment.

Analyzations of her behavior allowed me the ability to decipher and understand the encrypted code in which she used for protection.

I understood, for she wasn’t new to the experience of people using ulterior motives and falsified intentions to enter her sacred space.

But I knew my intentions were pure and if I could break her walls of protection, I could roam the beautiful depths of her immeasurable mind.

Eventually my analyzation paid off. I became fluent in the metaphorical language of secrecy in which she used.

Like a computer analysis specialist, I began breaking her code of protection while simultaneously writing algorithms that would allow me to break her firewall of safety even further.

After meticulously sequencing of precise formulations, followed by careful execution, the entrance into the deepest crevices of her mind was before me.

Her emotional patterns, mental dialogues, spiritual perspectives, and neuronal wiring of pathways within her brain lay before me.

Initially, I hesitated making such a profound decision, for the entrance into the depths of the sacred feminine provides beauty and intelligence beyond comprehension.

Beyond that, a female allowing a male into her mind on both a mental and emotional level is something sacred, something I would not take for granted.

I watched as she consciously revealed the mathematical equation that governed her existential order

And with her permission, I patiently and conscientiously entered her mind.

There I stood inside her mind, enveloped by beautiful geometric grids of vibrational pathways, followed with visuals of intricate patters, spirals, and sinuous rivers of thoughts and emotions, all of which made up her personality.

At first glance, I was intoxicated by the beauty and density of her mind, it was as if her mind went endlessly into eternity.

The immeasurability of her mind revealed the infinity of her being, she was one with everything, engaged in everything but detached appropriately hence her engagement of intellectual conversations with me but only revealing so much.

I begin feeling irritable, wanting to know everything within her mind but I let that attachment go gracefully and just absorbed the present moment.

I returned to touring the depths of her mind with the curiosity and enthusiasm of a child, enjoying the beautiful creations of her core.

After diving deep enough into her mental capacity, I could literally see her mind, both her subconscious and conscious. They looked like ancient creations hand crafted by the gods.

Her mind was more beautiful than the creations of God & deeper than the deepest oceans.

The dark aura within her mind couldn’t go unnoticed, it enveloped me quickly, she wasn’t new to darkness.

From the mental scares etched into her subconscious and conscious mind, she wasn’t new to the devils wrath.

But her illuminating aura of high vibrational frequencies proved her experience with the divine light.

She was a majestical paradox, and authentic beautiful contradiction; created from the illumination of God and gained experience through the devils work.

The matrix of her mind contained sacred scribes, ancient books of wisdom, and letters from her higher self, all of which served as constant reminders of her infinite potential.

Her mind looked like paintings of angelic expressions, that only the angels of God could of created.

Here and there the paintings of her mind would have nefarious creations of darkness lingering.

She was the embodiment of both the devilish and angelic presence, she felt the full spectrum of darkness and illumination.

After opening the sacred seal of her depths and gazing at the phenomena within her, together we flowed through the densities of the colorful portals within her,

Arriving In the the base chakra and ending in her crown chakra.

From there she allowed me deeper into the depths of her core and at first we were bombarded with a multitude of complexities but something was approaching. Something created from her depths.

Naturally our eyes caught each other. Our subconscious minds synchronized and begin formulating matrices of geometric frequencies of sound, all of which came originally from her creations.

These majestic vibrations of sound began dissolving the complexities we previously faced.

This inhumane beauty of sound is something I’ve never heard.

It was as soulfully pleasing as experiencing the growth of ones child,

Or as majestic as watching a rare Arabian stallion roam the apache terrain freely.

These were sound waves she created from the depths of her creative core and they dissolved all barriers we faced.

Internally, she was an artist of engineer and sound but externally she was an artist of human existence and living

And she painted beautiful images of life on the daily through the style in which she lived.

The end of this journey was approaching so I methodically scanned her depths all once again, attempting to capture the entirety of it all.

I turned my focus inward gathering the intangible gifts from my journey, redirected my focus externally and thanked the universe for the experience.

I saw the intricate creations within her mind dripping with robust color one last time.

I felt the vibrational frequencies of love in which her heart pulsated, one last time.

I traced the rigor contours of her being using my mind and together we sparked the transcendental state of growth between the sacred feminine and the divine masculine.

We then arrived in a higher dimension than before, a place of complete acceptance without judgment.

She was one with the earth and I to the sun. Together we would birth creations.

As I begin to exit the depths of her being, I filled my depths with thanks for the opportunity.

I looked back one more time, attempting to grasp the depths of it all even though I knew its full understanding was beyond my comprehension.

She was rare.

That’s the only way I can describe my journey with her.

It’s what allowed me to ruin every relationship of love I ever had.

It’s what destroyed every single opportunity I ever had.

I wrote a poem once and the beginning line was, “I once thought darkness would consume me.”

You see, for years I truly thought I had trouble with my demons, with some type of enveloping darkness.

The truth was actually the contrary, for it was nothing but insightful.

As time progressed, I saw the reasoning in all the pain.

I am now equipped with knowledge, gained from those experiences. 

I no longer view darkness as a black hole of pain.

I now view darkness as a mandatory variable inside the equation of personal growth.

It never made sense before, but now it does.

It is the reason why Carl Jung said, “Enlightenment comes from becoming aware of your darkness, not from some random beam of light.”

It is the reason why Adyashanti would talk about how enlightenment is a destructive process.

It’s ironic because for the first years of my adulthood, I truly thought I was just being eaten away by life, with no purpose what so ever. It felt like darkness really was following me.

But in truth I was just growing and I’ll always be thankful for that. I’ll always be thankful for the people that played their part as well.

Sometimes when life gets tough and you find yourself enveloped in pain and it feels like suffocating darkness on all sides and your left to believe there is no way out,

it’s important to understand that if you obtain the ability to execute patience, light aways does shine through.

This is an example of how and why some of the cliches are true.

Darkness, the word just has really negative connotation to it but if you can see it for what it really is, it’s beautiful.

I was a philosopher, searching for truth, You were a student, making the most of your youth.

Both infatuated with unifying the human race, oh how beautiful were these years of grace.

Intellectual attraction drew us together, the anticipation grew for what we would discover.

Time passed & intellectual attraction grew to something stronger, that sacred feeling was reciprocated so we waited no longer.

We now were an item, both of us so excited, No matter the moment our souls stayed brightened.

I opened my heart, you opened your mind, Your heart became closed & I became blind.

Soon enough, the organic relationship we had fell into the abyss, From time to time, I still yearn for your kiss.

As I move on I embrace my growth, for that will always be my oath.

But even now I’d still choose you, I miss the times we’d philosophize in your car, enjoying the view.

Those days are gone & I must accept it, The torch that will burn our memories away, has just been lit.

You begin to speak and like a student in lecture, I listen.

Your words of wisdom are the brail coding to higher frequencies of love.

I apply your words to my life.

I think of my dark pastimes and how you've been here before.

I realize stronger shades of pain and higher vibrations of love created the man today, created the man sitting before you.

My wounds have been cleansed with acceptance, understanding, and compassion.

My stomach is filled with nutrients only from the sacred foods from mother nature.

My body has been cleansed, my emotions have been reconfigured, and my mind has been detoxed.

Here I am sitting before you, stronger than ever.

I close my eyes and trace your spine with my callused hands, watching the blood beneath your thin layer of flesh separate as I press against your muscles, massaging your tense body.

I’m feeling your every vertebrae, and reading the ink permanently etched into your skin.

I sit there contemplating the tattoo.

The message hits me like a brick in the face,

reminding me this world is so much bigger than I thought.

I bring the worry back to my awareness one more time, wondering if the divine potential we had will ever get fully activated then gracefully, I let go.

All my worries fade away.

I thank the universe for the wisdom.

Reaching levels of awareness that force me to succumb to higher knowledge. Most around me don't share this understanding, for this understanding has been encrypted in code and meticulously structured so the majority unconsciously and consciously ignore the truth. Excessive amounts of over-analyzing eventually brought me solace and now obtaining a God-like consciousness is pending. Starting my journey to actualizing full human potential, I am aware that 90% of the time I am exposed to distractions and manipulations but that leftover 10% keeps me in ascension, beyond the low vibratory realms. I begin to have control over my emotions, ambition, motivation, and encouragement. I have accomplished APATHEIA, because I am aware that I have little to no control over external events so there is no reason to let any influences distract me from feeling positive. You see, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing can stray me away from my nature, for I am in alignment with my intention, with the divine. I have put in the actual work for self-love, mental establishment, and emotional stability that I can be put into any situation and prosper because I am perpetually prepared. Every single situation I am put in allow for opportunities for more insight and I am forever grateful for that understanding. The hours of mediation, self-reflection, and day to day experience have brought me beneficial realizations. I see manifested action and flourishing intentions every moment I enter that sacred space of meditation. I’m attracting knowledge beyond anything else and I recognize insight is the most beneficial tool. I’m reaching my higher self and frequencies of positive self development. The answers to everything are waiting to be discovered and I am in love with my journey. I find comfort in knowing that this journey of self-discovery and higher knowledge is organic, meaning no mind altering substances were ever digested by this body and I’m so grateful for that. 

I see my visualizations flourish through deep meditations. 

I see thought developing into matter during my meditations.

 I see myself arriving at my goals before the physical actualization.

I enter states of realization that it is only a matter of moments until my mental creations transmute into the physical.

My carefully crafted formulations, sequences, and structures undergo meticulous stages of development during my meditations. 

Not only do the answers to creation present themselves but my creations become real. 

After each meditation I realize I’m adding more beneficial ingredients into the life matrix I’m always creating for my thoughts because...

When I’m inside my mind, I enter a realm of conscious self-empowerment with the intention to understand myself entirely because I have established a level of perseverance that allows me to withstand the excessive tendency to over-analyze. I feel my higher selfs vibrational frequency flowing down densities to reach mine, while I ascend upwards from 3rd density to 6th density. My present self meets my higher self and the ascension begins. I open the doors to intelligent infinity and meet my creator and discover the purpose to my existence. I make the eternal bond to continue seeking development, spiritual progression, and knowledge without any egotistical influences. 

“Geometric patterns in her face, correlating with the hearts of all peoples. Fibonacci sequence structuring the formulation in which her existential configuration was birthed. I look up to her, like a religious dogmatists does to his God. She contains more information than the latest collegiate institution and I am blessed to be a student in her incalculable and incommunicable mind. She is a goddess and I love her dearly. I watch as she moves towards me, her majestic strands of hair sway mathematically in perfect correlation with the wind. As she gets closer, my heart beat increases to a point of non-existent blood flow. She is now touching my body and her internal coordinates match effortlessly to mine. We become one as we ascend into higher dimensions that cannot be comprehended by fourth dimensional language. Our love is beyond categorical forms of defining. It lyes somewhere above the clouds, between comprehension and incommunicable experiences.”