Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@wanna-able
Seongwu, in his head: Wait, is he into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs!
Seongwu, out loud: Did you hear the one about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the party? He had no body to go with!
Daniel: *laughs* That’s really funny.
Seongwu:
Seongwu, in his head: Well, that’s not a fair test. That joke’s hilarious.
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Jaehwan: Is the day over already? I barely received my quota of admiring glances.
Jaehwan: Want to help me commit a felony?
Woojin: What the hell??
Jaehwan: Sorry, my bad.
Jaehwan, whispering: Want to help me commit a felony?
Woojin, whispering: Of course dude, what do you need?
Jisung: Told the boys I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which Jihoon said, "Maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed," which is a suspiciously specific theory.
Minhyun: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone
Jaehwan: Mine just says, "Jaehwan no."
Minhyun: I want you to apply it to every possible situation
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Seongwu: Why is Jaehwan crying?
Woojin: He said the only food that can make you cry is an onion.
Seongwu: ...and?
Woojin: I threw a watermelon at him.
Jihoon: How long does it take before you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?
Daehwi: I think—
Daniel: 72 hours.
Seongwu: How do you kn—
Daniel: There's a clown behind you.
Computer: choose a password
Daniel: HaSungwoon
Computer: your password is too short
Daniel: I know but please don't tell him... he’ll get mad
Woojin: I'm the most responsible in the group.
Minhyun: You've literally just set the dorm on fire.
Woojin: I know, and I take full responsibility for it.
Interviewer: How many kids do you have?
Jisung: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
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Daehwi: I don't think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way outta this one.
Jinyoung: *Grabbing dagger*
Jinyoung: Manslaughter it is
Jisung: You need to eat healthy.
Jaehwan: No
Jisung: The last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
Jaehwan: Oh
Jisung: In a plane crash.
Jaehwan: That sounds unrelated?
Jisung: I was the one who crashed it, do not disobey me
Minhyun: i can’t believe we’re stuck in this room together
Jaehwan: *swallowing the key* Truly unfortunate
Woojin: We should get married.
Jihoon: We’ve been dating for less than a year.
Woojin: I know and I think I’ve shown incredible restraint for waiting this long.
Daehwi: How do you ask a person out?
Jinyoung: Simple: You open the door and say “Get out you’re bothering me”
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Minhyun: Jaehwan is the kind of person I hate, except I’m in love with him.
Guanlin: Who is the biggest troublemaker in Wanna One?
Daniel: ...I don't know.
Woojin: I don't think there's a troublemaker in Wanna One.
Daniel: *nods*
[Later]
Guanlin: Minhyun, who is the biggest troublemaker in Wanna One?
Minhyun: Daniel and Woojin.
Guanlin: *raising an eyebrow* They didn't answer.
Minhyun: They didn't? ...That's because it's them.