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Shop Put some shimmer in the hitch in your step. by ShimmerCanes located in Arlington, Massachusetts.
I can't do much these days thanks to early onset arthritis and a total lack of cartilege in my hip. Thank you, hEDS. I bedazzled myself a cane and people keep asking me about it so I've opened an etsy store and now I will have ice cream because I can't drink while taking pain meds. I will fight you if you tell me that ice cream is not medicine.
There are rhinestones lurking all over our dining room. They are not as awful as glitter, which we all know is the VD of craft supplies.
I use only crystal flatback rhinestones which cost more than glass or resin, but have much better sparkle. It's hard to photograph the sparkle and shimmer, at least it is for me, with an iphone, but you can see it in the videos. So. Um. *taps feet* I don't know what I am doing exactly. Most canes are bespoke, or made to order. What if no one ever buys one? Well, obviously I'll be fine and I'll have my hip replaced with a karaoke microphone looking thing. The ball part kind of looks like BB-8's head.
wtf did it put the word shop in the link thinger photo? UGH. One cool thing though. If you have a cane people get right out of your way. People can be so nice sometimes. I feel bad because I'm really slow these days and they have to stand there while I tortoise by. I try to make them go first, but some won't do it.
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The urban fantasy show I actually want to see is a hospital drama with a dedicated wing for supernatural illnesses.
Vampirism. Lycanthropy. Cheap spells gone wrong. A woman brought in for her prenatal has to be told her baby is a lindworm. Someone is literally being followed by the anthropomorphic personification of the Black Death.
Someone somewhere out there is having their perception of the world irreparably shattered by the knowledge that magic is real, and at the other side is a team of doctors who have to roll their eyes and pull out Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales because some high school kid tried to go Carrie with a cheap spellbook and turn all the kids at prom into frogs, and the doctors have to wrangle a couple dozen teenagers into admitting if they have a true love who can break the spell.
I want the hospital director to be some dark entity that feeds on human misery but figured out that if you successfully treat the source of the misery then instead of hunting you down as an abomination the humans start bringing more miserable people to your house en masse and things kinda got out of hand from there.
AMBERGRIS HOSPITAL FOR FAUNA, SENTIENT FLORA, & CHIMERA
Vivat Regnum Animale Vegetabile et Lapideum
MEMORANDUM
IN RE: PROTECT AND DETAIN ALL SPIDERS
NOVEMBER 21
DO NOT SQUISH, HARM, STOMP, SWAT AT, DROWN, OR EXPEL any spiders from our campus. Try to put a cup over it if you see a spider and call for immediate assistance. This is all very difficult to explain, but we may have a super conglomerate wandering around on eight legs.
As you may have heard, a Class III Banshee with a respiratory illness was put in the Moderately Urgent Care general waiting room last night, which was also a full moon and very busy. Banshee protocol must be followed at all times even if you think the Banshee has laryngitis. Supernatural death alerts do not adhere to the laws of physics or rely on the aparati of humanoid sound making physiology.Â
Banshees scream when death is near. We are a large hospital and serve the animal, vegetable, and sentient mineral communities. Not only is Death always near, Death was having minor cosmetic procedure at The Golden Branch Center for Anatomical Conundrums at the time. When death is nigher than usual the ceilings glow Prussian Blue. Know your ceiling palette!
We reiterate that the main point of Banshee isolation rooms is to protect a Banshee's health, because the rooms block the high frequency radiation emitted by Death and the dying. The seclusion rooms also protect other visitors and patients from ringing ears, sonic incontinence, surprise cardiac events, accidental disembodiment, puddling, shamanic discharge, and swamp facing.
Last night was an utter shambles. A Banshee screamed and a nearby Succubus accidentally drained the life force from four humans and a Sphinx and transferred it all to a spider minding its own business in the corner of a window frame. Although the fuschia light that surrounded the spider was especially beautiful, we cannot underestimate how serious this incident is because the Succubus in question is also a knowledge eater.
Not only do we not know where the spider is, we don't know what it can do. It may be able to weave in English, French, Mandarin, Latin, Sanskrit, and Tibetan. It may or may not be able to perform A and B level illusions, and minor matrix reorganizations so take GREAT care where you sit or step and until further notice you must check anything you eat or drink for spiritual and chemical irregularities first.
We believe that the Sphinx's powers will be reined in by the spider's size and anatomy, but do not attempt to pose or answer any riddles today. We simply do not know how the mixed abilities of a Sphinx, Tibetan Lama, Druid, Witch, and several college professors, etc. will operate in the body of a spider. When in doubt, cover your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth and wait for assistance. There is a very small chance you may find enlightenment and complete your bodhisattva journey.
Let her eat her $250k grapes in peace. No one showed up for the wedding including the groom. She can’t stop laughing hysterically and waving the cutlery around like she’s landing a plane.
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If you're like me, and it's still hot where you live, and you're wishing Fall would get here so you can wear sweaters, you should go watch Headless by Shipwrecked. Its spooky, autumnal, Halloween-y vibes are the perfect way to tide you over until sweater weather finally arrives! (Side note: the costumes in this show are amazing. So many wonderful sweaters)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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