yea

guy who owns a really really old car: does this parade have a specific theme? actually i don’t care. i’ll be there. yeah i have a really really old car

You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up

house is a girl you have to take care of her

the house. a house. your house. building. residence. abode. not that faggot from the tv show

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

its nothing some ibuprofen and a blunt and 5 beers and a head injury and jacking off and killing myself cant fix

If I had the death note I wouldn’t even care about killing people the real kicker is that you can bend their will before they die. Like who cares if I could give joe biden a heart attack BUT i could make him go up the the podium and say something like “I need a thick girl and a blunt right now or I’ll die” and then he explodes. That’s where the money is

i need josh hutcherson in a way that sets back womens right

i’m sorry what the FUCK does this mean

suck my balls through my huge cargo shorts

Sorry I'm going to be more normal about him

I need to hunt him for sport

sometimes im like…..what is the point of all this ??? and then i hang out with the people i love, and for a brief moment, i see

imagine being able to listen to carry on my wayward son, objectively a fucking banger of a song, without inflicting psychic damage on yourself 

concentrates really hard and turns all the microplastics in my body into a gift card for olive garden that has $2 on it