Masha's Bottomless Pit

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

“walnut” lmao I love this

never seen an episode of riverdale in my life but im sitting here in complete agony over the phrase “sold jingle jangle to the ghoulies” i literally have no idea what this show could possibly be about at this point

Please turn on audio it’s adorable

slovenia is a joke, amids the whole scary coronavirus stuff our government apparently ordered 3 millions of masks and now they discovered it was all a scam and we never would have gotten them

@walkingwheels

i fucking hate living in this country pizda

sorry I’m shitblogging but holy moly

The best visual gag in any piece of media was the giant vault door concealing a normal-sized door in Portal 2

Actually the best joke of all time period was also in Portal 2 and it’s when Glados says “Well, this is the part where he kills us” and Wheatley follows up “Hello, this is the part where I kill you!” and the chapter card pops up reading “Chapter 9: The Part Where He Kills You” and then you unlock the achievement “The part where he kills you” and the achievement description reads “This is that part.”

Portal 2 is a fucking masterpiece for hundreds of reasons

healing is hard but it’s worth it. you’re brave and good; you deserve the healing you’ve set your mind to achieving

positivity is cool and all but repressing negative feelings is toxic to yr mind and body. dont feel guilt for having an array of emotions. its corny to fake positivity when it isnt sincere, feeling stuff even bad stuff is nothing to be guilty over. its okay to feel bad sometimes

flowers don’t grow on their own. the sun shines on them. the rain falls on them. you don’t have to grow alone, either.

Submitting myself to the terrifying ordeal of hope