i think part of the problem the rest of the group keeps running up against when they try to listen to jester and understand her problems and comfort her is that they still don’t really believe the traveler loves her.
Most of the m9 have been badly hurt by people - sometimes people who should have loved them, like beau’s parents - but mostly by people who didn’t love them, and who they didn’t love. caduceus is probably the biggest exception to this, and he’s still dealing with his own shit that’s stopping him from even recognizing his issues.
it’s so important to jester that they understand that the traveler loves her. and to them, it looks like, well, if he loved you he wouldn’t treat you like that, so he must actually not love you all that much, and you don’t have to love him – we love you, we expect nothing from you, this is what love looks like.
but sometimes people love you to the very best of their ability and they still do hurtful things and fuck you up! and it’s not just the traveler! it’s her mother, too. before they met marion, jester’s descriptions of her childhood really worried the nein because it sounded like she was being neglected by a mother who didn’t really care about her. beau and caleb were both ready to be highly critical of marion if she turned out not to care about her daughter!
but when it turns out that, actually, marion adores jester, and wants only the best for her, and tries her absolute hardest to do right by her, it makes it much harder to criticize her and her parenting! it happened to the fandom, too! “the ruby of the sea is the best mom ever!”
she’s not. she’s really not. she’s a flawed, fucked-up person who loves her kid and does her best and sometimes she still fucks up. that happens. marion’s unconditional love for jester didn’t make jester’s childhood hidden away in her room any less traumatic and damaging - it just makes it harder for her to say “this hurt me.” it makes it feel really bad to complain, because you know she loves you and you know she’s doing her best, and really shouldn’t that be enough?
i think it’s really hard for jester to open up about the ways in which the traveler’s behavior has hurt her, in part because she feels like she has to defend him, and defend their relationship, and defend his love for her. someone needs to say, you know, you’re right, it’s amazing how much he loves you, he clearly cares about you an awful lot, and that’s a wonderful friendship to have - AND he’s fucked up very badly here and you are entitled to feel hurt! because people can love you and still hurt you! and when they do, they should apologize and try to make amends, because they love you, and they don’t want to hurt you. and loving you a whole lot does not make any of the things he’s done here okay!
i just think it’s very hard for the nein, who have largely been victims of intentional cruelty, to really understand how jester is feeling here. veth came closest, i think, talking about how friends can call each other out on their shit and still care about each other.
(i also think that none of them - with the possible exception of caleb - really understands what Artagan is and what that means, and how serious a promise from him really is, but that’s a slightly different issue.)

























