The Greasy Tusk

Now seems like a pertinent time to remind everyone that supporting the USA or the actions of its leader is white supremacist behavior. It is your duty as a moral person to loudly condemn the American government, and if the time should come for it, dodge the draft. The defense secretary said that most of our generation is too fat to qualify to join the military and with your help we can get it to 100%! Fuck dying for a country that doesn't care about the rights of the vulnerable and fuck fighting a war against the vulnerable citizens of another country.

I would go to the club if everyone was fat and there were lots of areas to sit and there was food and the music was a little quieter

Das a big boi!

Thank you for the invitation!!

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

JACOB WYSOCKI IS GETTING HIS OWN TRAVEL SHOW I’M BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am so tired of short-attention-span, trim-the-fat culture. All writing advice these days is for how to write like Chuck Palahniuk. "Cut 'think', cut 'feel', cut 'wonder' - only action, only pushing forward, show and move and move and move." What if I could emulate this style, and still don't want to? What if I want to write like Henry James, with three paragraphs of introspective musings between each dialogue line? The music advice is, "make it shortform, make it Tik-Tok compatible, make it punchy, hit the refrain as soon as possible." What if I want that 10-minute prog rock piece? What if I want that symphony? What if I want it slow and luxurious and lazy? Movies. Series. Poetry. Bodies. Everything is "trimmed trimmed trimmed trimmed, stripped bare, you have three seconds to win me over, make it airport chic." I don't want to win you over, then, I guess. I want the fat left it. I want the pleasure and the indolence and the indulgence. Fuck this art-advice that's always "your art needs Ozempic."