cant believe iâve never shared arguably the funniest dms iâve ever gotten in my life
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@waitineedfood
cant believe iâve never shared arguably the funniest dms iâve ever gotten in my life

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why are people submitting asks with skulls? to be scary? đŁ
âŚcan you put your shoes back on
how the fuck did this site outlast twitter
In case you didn't know, I had the honor of designing Tumblr's spooky new app logo
Source: https://mobile.twitter.com/mattecashew32/status/1537490263358185472

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in order to combat the homophobia "allegations" I think chris pratt should come out as bi and fabricate an entire fake narrative about him and chris hemsworth being lovers (chris hemsworth starts going by hemmy so that they aren't a chris4chris couple). pratt says that they wanted to tongue kiss on the set of the new thor movie but big marvel silenced them, and #ShowtheKiss starts trending on twitter in support of their brave statement. the two of them get so caught up in this lie that it persists for several years, culminating in them getting married as a publicity stunt before chris pratt ultimately breaks down and comes out as homophobic, divorcing chris hemsworth and posting several angry twitter threads insulting him. instead of coming clean though, chris hemsworth doubles down on the lie and releases a very emotional notes app tweet about how chris pratt shattered his heart during this stressful and complicated divorce. he says that he can no longer go by "chris" or "hemmy" because both of those names remind him too much of his lost love, so he starts going by "sworth" exclusively to cope. of course, the internet collectively loses their shit over the situation and chris pratt's name is permanently ruined as a result, since he has now been labelled the man that made it so sworth can never love again.
the fuckin face in that last panel is on its own plane of emotion
growing up bisexual, i know what itâs like to be rejected twice in a row. thatâs why this pride iâve partnered with marvelâs morbius
god i love reading about stupid drama in ancient greece. like there was an athlete named theagenes who was so good at every kind of athletic contest that when he died, one of his opponents would go to beat the shit out of a statue of him out of spite, but then one day the statue fell on the guy and killed him so the greeks took the statue to court for murder, convicted it, and threw it into the sea
I will lie, cheat, and scam if it means getting out of a conversation I don't wanna be in. My sense of ethical behavior vanishes entirely when I want ppl to stop talking to me. One time I pretended not to know what Egypt was so they'd stop talking to me about their vacation plans

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this is getting targetedđâ
tumblr blaze should have a tier thatâs just 1 post advertised to 1 person for $1
every day i aspire to be insane flirtatious androgynous and violent just like bugs bunny
texting my coworker âhey! how are you feelingâ and reading it 40 times to make sure i didnât accidentally type how are you sex cum penis ass cum porn 1080p hot cock

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"this filter will show you if your teeth are yellow" "this filter will show you if your nose is perfect" "this filter will show you if your face is symmetrical" "this filter will show you if your lips are big" how about if we all blew up our phones forever