this is where i liveblog dumb shit

Naruto should learn a lesson from the princess

it’s a Naruto movie and the plot kind of demands that she still go through with it, but as much as this is a story about the princess realizing that she can’t give up, this should also be a story where Naruto makes a real, emotional connection with the princess.

at the beginning of the movie the princess doesn’t want to sign autographs.

she’s like what’s so special about my autograph? you’ll shove it in a drawer and it’ll collect dust. it’s “useless” and a “waste of time”. 

meanwhile Naruto gets caught up in fannish excitement and chases down her horse! he also calls her by her character name for like the first half of the movie.

Naruto should have gotten to learn why the princess felt her fame as an actress was “a joke”! 

in the end of course the only person we really get to see change is the princess, who (because this is a nart movie) discovers that actually she just had to believe in herself and Naruto all along and she was, idk, wrong for being scared of being literally murdered by the powerful dude who literally murdered her father.

Naruto could have had a real conversation with her about how empty her life has been since she left Land of Snow and how isolated she’s been by her trauma and fear. Naruto could hear, in her explanation of how meaningless her fame is, an echo of his own loneliness. Naruto could have looked past her film persona and actually really connected with her in a way the rest of the team couldn’t!

furthermore, he could realize that his quest to be recognized and loved by the village, although a perfectly fine goal, could become an empty dream if he doesn’t really focus on being recognized and loved for the right reasons.

at the end of the movie when the princess is gladly signing autographs, Naruto would get to see that this fame and adoration brings her joy because it’s based around her doing something really good for these people, not around who they think she is, and the autograph that he has from her would be super meaningful.

(ok, it’s already a little meaningful because Sasuke got it for him, but you know what I mean.)

listen, I’m a filthy homestuck from way back and i’m genuinely, truly hurt you’d try and apply this to Kakashi and Gai. also i’m a little drunk. okay, pretty drunk. 

look:

Kismesissitude is what a troll feels towards someone known as their kismesis. It is linked to hatred, and it is necessary that both parties feel equal, balanced hatred towards each other. Not any kind of hatred will do, since there is such a thing as platonic hatred amongst trolls (similar to the human concepts of hatred and platonic love). In other words, kismesissitude seems to be based on a mix of hatred and sexual attraction. As it thrives on a rivalry between two trolls, defeating or killing your kismesis is discouraged, since obviously there wouldn't be a relationship anymore. However, despite the stronger hatred aspect of the relationship, in order for a kismesis to last there must be some level of respect between the those persons involved; the tension in kismesissitude relies not only on hatred and annoyance of ones more irksome aspects, but also a level of admiration for their more positive aspects, as explained here.

the wiki goes on to say that kismesissitude can be most closely related to "potent arch-rivalry" and Kakashi and Gai are not arch-rivals! they’re eternal rivals and they love each other.

arch-rivals, people who hate each other, people who are each others kismesis......... no, that doesn’t describe Gai and Kakashi. their rivalry is supportive and lovely, even if Kakashi is allergic to admitting it most of the time. 

if i had to put them in a homestuck quadrant? moirallegience!

Moirallegiance is a process that occurs between a troll and their "moirail". It is a form of guardianship, but it isn't simply about being platonic soul bros forever: see Andrew's comment. They are a protector of their moirail's heart. They keep each other grounded.

although you’ll note that that link says “The purpose is to pacify a partner who is dangerous.” which at first might not sound like Kakashi and Gai but consider: Kakashi is very self destructive! clearly a danger to himself!

i like the “oh shit” face the bad guy has here and i like how Sasuke and Sakura clearly worked out this plan together. honestly i think we were ROBBED of some scenes of them actually working together and being a team. “attack him with his own tech” is such a Sakura+Sasuke plan!!! 

but do we get to see Sasuke and Sakura actually work together and talk about the mission and make plans? no. of course not. 

damn this movie and damn this whole series. i hate it. but also look how funny Sasuke’s hair is here:

Sasuke is thinking “Damnit Sakura, you said this would work and you used a lot of damn textbook words to say so”

also i think it’s really sweet that when Sasuke gets punched real good and is passing out... he says “Naruto, his armor has been fractured... the rest is up to you...”

even though Naruto is out cold in freezing water and a normal person on a normal team would at least realize that Naruto can’t hear him so it’s a waste of breath. but Sasuke? lmao, no, Sasuke knows that Naruto is gonna pop back up outta that water and finish the fight.

i bet he picked this spot extra special for the good good rival-y ambiance. and look how excited he is to show Kakashi another one of his jutsu!

unfortunately Kakashi is not feeling it:

and I think Snow guy is extra excited because Kakashi was like “well the least i can do is show you one of the techniques i made” so Snow ninja guy is feeling extra validated! Kakashi you tease.

Snow ninja’s jutsu this time is “Ice Style: Wolf Fang Avalanche” 

Meanwhile with Snow Ninja #2 and #3:

this is right before Sasuke blows something up