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The many portraits created by this lonesome artist, one of countless victims of the outside, depict a fascinating and thought provoking journey of identity, self image, and the horrors thereof. Here I write today discussing the works of Frederic, who has become the subject of a rather unique mutation of the visitor: where his self portraits have come to life and bicker and fight amongst themselves on who's the ‘real’ Frederic and suffer from their shared thoughts of agony and confusion.

These artworks are masterful in depicting the many sides to a man and his struggles with himself and his troubling circumstances. The themes of fighting with one’s self and clashing individuality are so alluring to me. Every work in this series is truly inspiring and well crafted in their capturing of the artist's many conflicting sides. Each one says so much about the artists, and I will discuss the meaning of each one today.

To begin, let's start with not one of the portraits, but a currently untitled painting of the night sky that started it all. As it is awe inspiring in its own right.

Untitled

A clear blue sky during the evening. When the sun has set enough for the bright hues of yellows and oranges to fade but not enough to truly cloak the world in darkness you see such beautiful moody blues. The simple beauty of it is enough to be captured forever in paint. It's serene, and pleasant, but not as ordinary as it may appear. 

Something was looking down from behind the sky. The artist didn’t know at the time, but the sky was staring back. It may only look like an ordinary painting at first but if you look closer, If you stare long enough. The painting itself stares back at you. Its gaze makes the work all the more beautiful. 

A perfect encapsulation of the calm before the storm. The calm blues before the storm of rainbow hues swept across the globe in a torrent of flesh and screams. Before the artist lost his mind and body. Before the world could truly see what was behind the sky. 

It represents the time when Frederic was still whole, just before he unraveled into the rest of our exhibit. 

From here many more portraits would then be painted, some by the “original” and some by other previous portraits. The exact timeline and authorship of these paintings are sadly unclear. But I will do my best to describe them in an order I see fit, to illustrate the journey of the fractured mind of Frederic.

Fear

The emotion most commonly described once one looks outside and realizes what it has done to them is fear. Fear of unwanted changes in flesh and bone. Fear of seeing things meant to be unseen. The fear felt by the artist after realizing the painting's effect on him. 

Fear depicts the artist's face screaming in distress amidst a sea of blue. The rest of the body is omitted. It can only scream and writhe as its features distort. This uses the same hypnotizing shades of blue as the untitled sky painting. Tying the artists' fear with the outside directly. Or more specifically the painting that broke his mind. Fear was the first thing he felt upon the painting's effects on him. It is understandable then that blue would come to represent this emotion. Highlighted wonderfully by the subtle hues of other colors not unlike what the outside sky truly looks like now. 

The paintings' many eyes gawk and stare as if it can’t look away from the source of fear. It grows more eyes to try and see and yet it cowers as they only crowd its face and it still cannot understand what it saw. It screams at the horrors inflicted on his body and it cowers away at the more unpleasant and violent sides to the aftermath. 

The painting's tendency to hide replicates the artist's behavior when faced with the changes to himself. It is natural for victims to instinctively hide away their tainted selves out of fear of what they see in themselves now.

Or perhaps it's hidden away cause the artist tried to hide his own fear to himself. Shove his worries aside, keep his fears and anxieties locked up to put on a braver appearance. Other works in this series imply the need for a more acceptable face. He wouldn’t want to seem afraid.

To let his fear get to him now, or in his day to day life before.

Or the fact that Fear is terrified of the other more ruthless and volatile emotions is indicative of the artist's fear of being consumed by a more unpleasant side of himself. Fear of becoming a monster that is angry, treacherous and in constant pain. This work especially feared Faceless. Perhaps showing what Frederic truly feared the most. Losing himself.  

This painting is evocative in all the ways he found his new circumstance horrific. Outstanding in how its simplicity hides multitudes. 

Agony

Straightforward in meaning. The physical changes were intense and painful in ways only describable by this painting's appearance. Too many features all melding together writhing screaming choking on itself. Piles of teeth and melted crying eyes are painted over each other among mutated growths of purple flesh in an uncomfortable, frantic manner. A few legs are kicking at the bottom of the melting pile. A reminder that there once was a man here, but has since been ravaged by pain. It invokes the imagery of someone helpless on the floor unable to move or do anything as the rest of their body twists and mutates into something painful and ugly.  

It reflects the immense pain both physically and mentally to the artist. Especially once the other Freds made themselves known and filled each other's minds with constant agonizing noise. 

This painting does not want to be alive. It is only made to embody pain and so it suffers. It actively begs to be killed. It can’t even speak as its mouths all blabber and melt and choke on top of each other. It can't even be put down right as its paint regenerates in spite of its protests to die. It wants death but its mutated body refuses it. Only more agony. 

Interestingly, once you manage to speak through its painful cold speech. It is shown to be the most honest of the portraits. It speaks directly of its own pain and what happened to Frederic. And who is the “real one” This painting is quite simple in its meaning is it not? It is pain through body horror, through flesh and mind twisting into a prison. It knows exactly what it is and what is going on. The pain, the agony, is the most clear and obvious emotion here. 

Confusion

Representative of the confusion the artist felt towards himself. Its not frightening or particularly in pain, it is only perplexing. A strange caterpillar thing that's only feature in common is the artist's face. Highlighting the far, far too many limbs the artist now had. It is designed to boggle the mind just as much as recent events confuse the artist. Past the pain, fear, and anger there were only questions on why this all happened to the artist. Why had he changed into such a ridiculous form. The painting is ridiculous. It has no real bite of its own; it can only distract you in hopes of the confusion not being overwritten by wrath and paranoia. It proclaims itself to be real but it is unconvincing. Like how the artist couldn’t be convinced that his changes were real

And the painting knows its facade is false. It cannot convince you ;or even itself; that it is the “real” fred. It tried such an obvious lie as its in its nature to be contradictory. When provoked all it can do is boggle the mind in hopes that you won't attack it. 

It wants to be the last standing cause isnt it better to only be confused? not scared, enraged, or in sheer mind numbing agony? Just focus and laugh at how baffling his situation is. Afflicted by one painting and now he's mutating and his portraits have taken a life of their own? It is ridiculous. Confusing even. Better find yourself baffled then in pain.

The painting once claimed that Fred is known to say “Fake it till you make it” Perhaps the artist always put up such a loud and obviously fake front to try and convince himself that he is real. A real artist. Really himself. Perhaps even before Frederic stopped looking like Fred he always felt unconvinced of who he was. 

Regardless, once he became cursed, he tried to reconcile his bewildering appearance and circumstance with this painting. Tried to make it any less confusing through painting it visually. Has it worked? See for yourself.

Blinding Light

A blast of pure white and vivid colors. The majority of this painting is loose, splattered. Like it was captured mid explosion. It's wild, almost exuberant. It is a depiction of a body and mind unraveling from the blinding light outside, but at the same time overwhelming in its enthusiasm. The brightness attempts to make itself more pleasant and enjoyable, to an almost suffocating degree as the painting’s colors borderline eyestrain. A light that overwhelms your eyes but is nonetheless bright and welcoming.

The most discernible thing in the art is a grotesque and equally melted head emerging from the mass. Its eyes burnt out, with two more piercing eyes fallen off into the mess of color below the neck. Despite its form, it has a wide gleeful smile. This visage is startling in how it tries to remain joyous despite its mind and body being blown out by an unusual light. An artist still being kind and helpful despite the outside sky.

This painting is the most outwardly kind. Always welcome to aid those injured and sick. Using its unique melted body to tend to wounds and leech of poisons, it is an expert medic. Surprising given that it's doubtful that an ordinary painter like Frederic would be this knowledgeable in wound care. It represents an unbridled need to help others. To be a kind and reassuring presence in others lives. The artist’s need to be a kind face.

Despite this. It's still pained by the thoughts of the other paintings. The cacophony of pain and suffering the others represent. It attempted a peaceful solution before but the others were declared ‘unreasonable’ and so it wishes for the voices to stop. It doesn’t demand the death of the rest, but isn’t that implicitly what it's asking? It says it shall learn to bear this burden, but is that really the best? If the rest have perished and the other voices have stopped, it thrives. It considers it a start of a new life for “Frederic,” a better one in its eyes.

Does it in some way, prefer to be the only one alive? To be the last portrait alive so it can work as hard as it can. To be a helping hand. To be happy and kind. 

In some way this represents an urge to extinguish the less desirable aspects of yourself in order to only be the best, most pleasant and helpful version of yourself. Get rid of your toxic, scared, and painful sides. Only leave behind the best and most optimistic part of yourself. Sure, riding the other portraits let this doctor do his best work, but is that truly right? Can one truly deny the worst parts of themselves in order to uphold such an ideal? 

Blinding Light is not any different from the others in this regard. In that it believes itself to be the real, correct version of the artist and thus the only one that should remain. Under that bright generosity there's the idea that this is the only worthwhile side to him. Only one worth saving.

This painting also once stated that if it can’t paint, is it even Frederic? An interesting question. Perhaps reflective of a workaholic attitude Frederic once shared. It is fitting then that he is now solely defined by his art. He has lost himself to the paint. To his work.

Darkness

A mysterious and vague painting. It is entirely cloaked in darkness, most of its body nothing but melted shadows. The only visible part of it is a melted distorted face barely recognizable as the artist. Its eyes haunted and sunken in its stretched out skin, one dripping with the rest of the portrait.

This painting does not want to be seen. As evident by its screams to not be looked at and its appearance almost hiding the artist. It is worth noting this is one of the few portraits that are directly hostile. Attacking you if you don’t abide by its demand. Whatever emotions this painting holds, they were more volatile and distressing.

The meaning of Darkness is unclear and abstract. One could say this represents the artist hiding away from the outside’s influence. Retreating to the darkness of his apartment, not letting his mutated form be seen. Or more broadly hiding your worst emotions in the dark. Not letting anyone see the uglier side of one’s self. 

Perhaps it's a fear of being perceived. What others must think of you from just your appearance. The artist must be particularly worried about that after the mutations set in and his portraits came alive. What others must think of ‘Frederic’ now that all parts of him, including the hideous, confusing, horrible sides, are now loose for anyone to see. No wonder ‘Frederic’ does not want to be looked at.

Divine

A truly striking depiction of the artist. Its main head bearing a halo and two vibrant extravagant wings growing from its distorted eyes. Adorned with bright and colorful feathers and wide eyes and teeth. There are two other heads beside it, one bleeding from the face yet still in awe, the other marred by shades of red and blue almost resembling exposed muscle, but it remains exhilarated in spite of this. The rest of its stout body is decorated in many, many other faces all equally rapturous and proud of its appearance. A metaphor for the many new faces the artist has gained through the portraits? His many sides and facets? ‘we are Frederic the many’ as it claims. 

The background is a bright and radiant sky as if it's soaring through the heavens. In contrast to the dark backgrounds of the other portraits this one is highlighted in a vibrant yellow and orange backdrop. 

This painting shares the same motifs of twisted bodies and grotesque flesh as the rest. Reflecting the same physical horrors experienced by the artist. But here it is presented as grandiose. Godly. An angel exalted from his mortal form and rising to a greater plane of existence.

Divine presents itself as a ‘Frederic’ that has ascended. That has become something holy and beyond mortals. Using the royal we like its speaking as much more than one simple entity. Declaring the lesser portraits representing puny human feelings to be ‘demons’ in need of being slain. It is a part of a mere man that has become greater than all.

This portrait reflects a desire to see these newfound changes as a sign of something more grand than simple mutation. A delusion that the experience with the outside is a religious experience. Is the mindbending presence in the sky a god in a way? Perhaps that is God, who has chosen this artist to join this twisted rapture and ascend. This is an attempt to see a silver lining in all this madness. To make sense of it all by twisting it into something grander and more appealing than the truth. Make the artist more impressive than he appears.

Of course. This is all a facade. A flimsy attempt to cope. And once declared to be naught but a painting, Divine drops the act.

The portrait is very aware of how not divine it really is. It only has its striking appearance and nothing else. Once you strip away this mask all that's left is a man, who just wants all this to be over with. Casually smoking a cigar and offering ordinary cash if the rest are killed. Past the initial fraudulent behavior, it's very honest and straightforward. It shows that beneath such frivolous paint, the artist at the end of the day, is a mere human like the rest of us. Who only wants to live. It finds its painted appearance ironic. Perhaps that's the true meaning of Divine, an ironic gesture that you’re meant to mock. Laugh at the thought that the artist could think of himself so grand when he's only another victim

It bluntly tells you to just kill the other portraits. Calling itself and the rest ‘crummy old art’ that's not even real. It doesn’t see itself and the other paintings as real people. Is he correct? 

The question of how “real” all these paintings are is a subject that will be explored further in this essay. For now consider this blasé dismissal of the other portraits; the other sides of the artist; as anything worth saving and what that might say about the one who painted them. Does ‘Frederic’ care about the rest of himself? Or does he simply want all this to be gone and over with. 

Get rid of all these frivolous portraits because they are just paint and nothing else. That's the attitude this painting has towards this series. Is this correct? 

Rage

A later portrait in response to the previous ones. After so many “failed” portraits and constant pain from the transformation, the other paintings' circumstances, and the constant cacophony of thoughts screaming at each other. The artist felt so much rage at himself and his “copies” A rage animalistic in nature, one that is violent and only yearns to attack and tear and bite until it is sufficiently released. 

Represented in many shifting and constantly biting mouths in a sea of bright red. An obvious color to represent anger and perhaps the blood drawn from the rage fueled violence. The artist's face sticking out among the maws twisted in rage and contempt. Eyes almost animalistic with anger. This painting is striking in how well it communicates something that is angry at itself and its situation and can only find catharsis through instinctual violence.

Despite all this. The painting itself when made to speak isn’t angry at all. It doesn't even find its form painful, only feeling weird as the maws shift and bite. It’s only bothered by how it can’t control its body as it attacks and injures. It wishes to make itself stop hurting others, nothing else. It's mild mannered. It doesn’t even wish for the others death it wants them all to “get along”

One could interpret this as the artist, once feeling the initial rage subside, only felt distressed at how much it hurt others against his wishes. Perhaps he never wanted to lash out in anger but his body and instincts couldn't help it. Frederic was once angry, but once it was made known and filtered out through painting all he saw was the internal strife and misery. 

Odd how Rage wants the other portraits, the other fractured feelings and emotions towards itself, to remain alive and coexist. Perhaps achieving clarity after realizing how futile the anger was. It wants to live, find a way to stop hurting others. Find a way to exist as itself in peace. 

Find a way to stop feeling rage, when it doesn’t want to anymore. 

Treachery 

A disgusting monstrous lump of slimelike paint. Green with envy and toxicity. It bears half of the artist's face grinning and foaming with malice, the other half full of eyes bubbling in and out of its oily visage. It's a very outwardly hideous painting. Representing a very hideous personality. One of wicked scheming and abrasiveness. Another of the few outwardly hostile paintings. It seeks to trick unsuspecting visitors via a trap it has laid out: A hat containing some of its mass that will then imprison and control any unsuspecting fool that wears it. Forcing them to do its bidding and attack the rest. It doesn’t convince guests to kill the others through persuasion but through force and true to its name: treachery. 

It is outwardly malicious. Reveling in its cruelty towards others. It's sadistic once it traps its victims, delightful in keeping them under its control. It gets its way through underhanded tactics and trickery. One must wonder how this represents the artist. Was Frederic like this in some way? At some point in time? Did he hide such malice bubbling down deep inside? Was he a purveyor of treachery? 

Or perhaps this painting was made out of being a victim of it. A victim of being betrayed... by himself. The next and last painting in this review certainty can be well described as committing an act of treachery against the artist. This painting was even aware of this event, directing others to the original. Of course only to kill him.

For the artist to view himself in this way at all is quite intriguing. Disgust at how he can be so monstrous and cruel in any way. Treachery embodies the most cruel and deceitful side of oneself. The side most would hide away in favor of existing in polite society. To not think of themselves as the villain. Not that this side minds. 

It's worth noting this painting's eagerness to take advantage of its mutated paint body. Splitting itself across many segments that act independently of one another to spread across the whole apartment and attack anyone in sight. Other portraits in this series portray a fear and disgust with the mutated body the artist ended up with, but this one delights in making the most out of it. Using its cursed form to further its goals. 

This is a painting that revels in being the monster the artist has feared himself to have become. It accepts that it is the disgusting, hideous side, and will use its distorted form to its advantage. 

Faceless 

A very peculiar painting. Described as ‘one that looked just like the real thing, but without a face.’ Though oddly, as it appears once returned to its frame, the painting looks little like the “real” Frederic. Or any real human at all.

It appears as a chaotic mass of color and paint. Shades of reds, greens, blue, whites, and purples mixing together into an incoherent mess barely identifiable as anything. Especially anything once a person. 

Perhaps the artist, the “real Frederic” once appeared as this. The painting of the sky has the same body warping properties of the outside, it has been known how twisted and bizarre cursed can become. Perhaps ‘the real thing’ was once equally as chaotic. Before all the portraits pulled the excess paint and emotions away.

What is true of this painting is the lack of a face. Only a dark, empty hole where it should be. 

This painting represents a lack of identity through the mess of paint and color. Of losing one’s self in art. This one was remembered to be painted by Fear, and it stated as it being the portrait to scare it the most, that “it radiated with malevolence.” Interesting how this painting was made out of fear. Perhaps a fear of ‘Frederic’ losing himself in his transformation. Losing his sense of self in the madness induced by the painting of the outside. Both physically and mentally. 

Have you considered why the artist was so obsessed with making self portraits? The artist may have made so many in countless attempts to recall what he is through his art. Trying to recall what his face should look like. To remind himself of who he is. 

Faceless can also represent the hollow feeling felt by the artist many portraits were painted. Fear also described feeling as though something was pulled out of him once painted. After so much of himself was taken away and put into this series of paintings, so much of the artist’s identity was stripped away. A face replicated so many times the original has worn off. When so many emotions were drawn out, all the anger, pain and strife, all that's left is dull, mindnumbing emptiness. Of course this interpretation is hard to corroborate due to the uncertainty in what order these were painted, but it's a poetic meaning applied retrospectively.

Nonetheless, what is most certain about the painting is its resentment. It embodies the quiet but potent animosity and pain felt by the artist for this mangled sense of self, of not being able to recognize his own face. A hatred towards oneself for being incomplete. Hollow. Empty. 

With this considered it is no wonder this portrait in particular quickly and violently attacked its own creator. Ripping off the original's face and using it as its own. Locking the newly defaced artist in the back of his apartment. Then wearing the stolen visage and pretending to be the “real” original Frederic. 

The motive is unstated, but it's likely due to its hatred of the one that painted it for letting it embody such mind numbing and intense emotions. Hating the artist for making it this way, subjecting it to his own suffering. It could also stem from a desperation to have an identity, a face of its own. It represents a feeling of emptiness, of lacking. Lacking such a face must have felt so numb, so lifeless, devoid of anything to give it meaning. Such strong, gnawing feelings of emptiness grows a desperate need to fill it with anything. Anything that fits. Perhaps Faceless grew jealous of the original's face and thought it better fit on it. Perhaps it thought it deserved to be Frederic cause it was supposed to be. It was meant to be him, why was it explicitly not him? 

One thing is very clear. It yearns to be the only Frederic alive. It seeks to become him by eliminating everyone else including the original. By playing itself up as a normal maddened artist who is seeking to be freed by his terrible paintings come to life, it hopes to fool others into thinking it must be the true Frederic and that the rest are simply horrific mutants to slaughter without question.

Interesting that it presents itself as completely human. One might grow suspicious of how this supposed artist who witnessed the outside and gone mad must have little visible changes. It's likely banking on this suspicious being dismissed if thought of at all. Perhaps it's more out of a desire to become the human it was before again. The real true Frederic, that had a real, normal face and body. Before all this madness and oil painted insanity occurred. A return to when the artist felt certain of himself. A return to normalcy.

It wants to get rid of the other portraits to ease its mind and be free from all the other painful and conflicting emotions and sides to itself. Be free from this insanity. So it can know itself as the true Frederic no longer plagued by his more troublesome and maddening feelings. It would have moved on, acting as the real Frederic for the rest of its life. Everyone else none the wiser.

If one were to turn on it. It would quickly unravel. Melting away into a distorted facsimile of the original Frederic, struggling to retain its shape before reverting to its true form. Revealing its empty face, nothing but a hole in a gaping, hungry maw. Two pained eyes staring out of the void, full of resentment. Hatred. All constraints loose it will fight back as much as it can, like a wounded cornered angered animal biting back at its attacker. Until it's dead and the face can be returned.

I find Faceless to be a fitting piece to end this review with. The most violent and dangerous painting for last. The one that represents the struggle of identity shown throughout the series the most. The painting most representative of the artist after being fractured across many canvases and minds. 

As this review draws to a close, let's turn our attention to what is left of the original Frederic. After all these emotions were painted out of him he remained just a mere man of paint and tiredness. He asks for the portraits to be rid of but when refused, he begrudgingly accepts them and lets them stay. As long as they're not attacking him.

Here I must ask the question all these portraits argue and fight amongst themselves about. The question constantly asked by the artist as he loses himself in painting and artwork. 

Who is the “real” Frederic?

These paintings are quick to dismiss the rest as not being real but who's to say they aren’t? Yes they are made of paint and not the “original” but does that matter? Does that matter when even the supposed original barely seems more real than the rest? Aren’t they all thinking living people in their own right? Aren’t these paintings worth preserving?

I’d say they're all equally as real. In the sense they all represent a part of the “real” original artist. Even if some of them are hideous or unflattering, they still reflect a very real side of Frederic, his feelings, his character. 

Perhaps it's best that, instead of trying to destroy each other, they find common ground and accept each other for who they are. That Frederic accepts himself for what he’s become. Embrace every part of himself. All his emotions are painfully real now, so he must learn to live with them.