pity party

i don't wanna go to my stupid high school graduation cause it's pointless and a waste of time. then i have my dad telling me he's gonna be mad if i don't and other people telling me to go. then looking for a goddam white dress is stressful too. like fuck off. if i don't wanna go whatever it does not affect your life whatsoever. i physically cannot pull myself together to actually go. like my family is gonna be there but the most important person isn't?? like that's tough. my mom was there my whole life watching me grow and whatever and she's not gonna be there. like everyone tells me oh she's watching you but she's not there physically. plus it's a waste of time like i said cause you sit around people you don't like wait an hour for people to talk and just to walk and get a a piece of paper and then sit and watch others.