I'm Amanda

Bottom secret

only 1400’s kids will get this

a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid

bold of you to assume she didnt plan to get pregnant exactly 9 months before halloween so that its actually both

bold of you to assume it wasnt jake who planned to get her pregnant exactly 9 months before so she’d be thrown off by contractions

bold of all of us to assume Holt didn’t pick an exact date to compliment them both so they’d have validation horniness so that jake AND amy were in disadvantage during the heist

Holt: your heteronormative lifestyle choices will bring about your demise

I may not have the best body but it sure does hold all my organs in place

this is the type of positivity i need.

body switch movie but both are identical twins so they dont even realize what happened much less learn anything

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”

Don’t let depression stop you from being that bitch

Or that nigga because niggas be depressed too

BE THAT BITCH

fucking superb you funky little felon

yesterday my roommate got mad at me because i saw him eating kit-kats and said “oh, so you’re a little kit-kat boy, are you?” and then i had a dream about him killing me

caught the tail end of a radio commercial for a regional aquarium and it said “do it for the gelatinous zooplankton” and that’s who we’re living for today friends

being thoroughly unrecognizable in appearance and aura/overall vibe to ppl from high school and just yr past in general is.. so sexy

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.