Obscure not pure

i hated you for the longest time. i hated how i did everything right. i hated how you got to do the wrong things and the universe still rewarded you. i hated how you got to live a normal life while i had to deal with our sexual stupidity. i spent a year letting other men have parts of myself that i made you work for. you turned me into a cheap whore by exposing me to your friends. you made me into everything i hated in a person. but after the last man, i decided to stop finding you in him. i want myself and someone who will treat me better than i used to treat myself. in four years my skin will be different and it will become a body you never touched. today, my body is a jewel that no man can ever afford. i have a value that will never depreciate this day forward.