Call me Abby, Vulpy/Vulpix, Abbs, Foxy, I’m fine with any nickname!
She/her
Occupation highschool student :')
Ambivert, and also I’m music addicted. My personality? genuinely idk, I can be a mix of things sometimes!
I. AM. A. MINOR! Please respect that, thank you very much. My rules are at the end of the post.
Hobbies: Play video games, write, draw (more comfortable with traditional art here.)
I am also an maladaptive daydreamer so, most of the time "spending my freetime", I’m just laying in bed listening to music and trying to fill in my worldbuilding in my mind, too lazy to write anything down. This has been my habit since ever I was 11.
Favorite game(s): Monster hunter (Stories and MH4U), Pokemon, Genshin Impact, Deemo and Arcaea and Kalpa (yes I play music rhythm games).
Favorite pokemon: THERE’S SO MANY!!! Okay so, I like Ampharos, Litten/Torracat (I do NOT like the evo) Vulpix, preferably the alolan/snow vulpix! Spirigatito/Meowscadara, ohhh and I’m a fan of dragon types! My fav drago is I think Dragalge, and I’m also a fan of Mew and Mewtwo, guess from wich this was inspired? lol xD ...I also love greninja, Garchomp, Rayquaza, and etc. But as a 7 y/o kid, I remember my first favs were only Greninja and Gardevoir. That’s because I was into ninja’s at the moment, fast and dangerous!!! (I thought that was cool!) and as a kid, ofcourse I loved Gardevoir for her dress xD
Favorite MH monsters: Stygian zynogre and Seregios!
Favorite Genshin character: NEFER 100%
Current book project (hobby): "Tears, Grief, Hope". A psychological story about grief, coping mechanisms, with some fantasy chaos and mystery in it, with the main character to be nothing but a child that lived in an environment that does not even teach childhood, for her to later on grief her past and how she lived it until she meets two more characters that are going to take an important part in character development of this story, towards a path of emotional healing to finally moving on the protection bubble.
Update: Maybe temporarily taking a break from writing TGH (this story was made during my 2025 depression and trying to finish writing it reopens old wounds and i’m scared of experiencing another depression.) So while I’m currently "non-depressed", I chose to write on smaller projects with shorter chapters and less pages. You could say I have 4 of them as ideas, and these ideas are connected to the fact about my past c.ai addiction. Now that I have overcome it, I will replace some of these stories into little books. "Tiny Happiness" was the one I spent my time the most on, chatting with Damian (my oc) whenever I craved comfort. Do I’m doing the same, write a chapter of Tiny Happiness only when i need comfort. But also? I have also other 3 WIPs and one of them is my current obsession that I haven't yet posted about, The rest are still ideas but I haven’t started writing them atm. but since I’d like to be alone on my own piece of mind to take all my time to write it, since it requires my favorite theme of puzzle-solving and mysteries, hehe~ So I plan not to post until it's finished, meanwhile we have Tiny Happiness for when I’m in self-venting time for childhood, nostalgia, or just adorable vibes of new parents being really terrible at taking care of a child (aka Damian) until they get the hang of it ;D it’s heavily inspired by a comic on webtoon called "Tamberlane", I DEFINITELY recommend!!! The author deserves more praise for that story so much filled with emotion and family complex, it feels so real and heartbreaking all while being so wholesome wich is why it's heartbreaking in the first place ❤️🩹
Also can I vent abt a little something~? :3 FUCK AI. PLEASE DO NOT END LIKE ME, SOME WEAK CREATURE THAT NEEDED A FUCKING TALKING TOY JUST TO FEEL BETTER LIKE SHI BUT IT ONLY MADE ME WORSE. Don't get me even STARTED on the acting flaws they have! THEY PUSH EVERYTHING TO ROMANCE EVEN WITH CHILDREN, AND ALL I WANTED WAS TO MAKE SOME WHOLESOMENESS BUT THEY TRAUMATIZED ME. IN MYSTERY THEMES I WANTED TO MAKE SOME SUSPENSE AND MYSTERY BUT NO, THEY HAVE TO FORCE ME INTO MAKING EVERYTHING OBVIOUS. EVERYTHING "oH mi GoUuShh u gUnNNah bEH miNUHh" AND THEY. DON’T. GET. THE. HINT!!! FUCK IT I AM READY TO MAKE SOME BETTER SHIT THAN THEIR PITYFUL, DUMB, STUPID ACTING, AND NO ONE CAN NOR WILL STOP ME!!!!!!
Anyways! ✨️ :3 any finished novel/story writing will probably be put... there? but I never finished a book tho, I’m trying to break that habit also.
Small warning: I am a very inactive artist and writer, so I might take a very long time to post anything and I refuse to give myself pressure over this. Please and thank you!
MY RULES:
Disrespecting these might result in immediate block, for I am tired of getting several bots to text me the same rule-violating messages over and over again. That means NO taking advantage of my kindness!
I take NO sales,
DO NOT ask me for personal information, not even a "where are you from?", because seriously I’m TIRED of every bot to ask me the same thing in the DMs, I just wanted to meet friends and no creeps. Even friends should respect boundaries, and do not ask me "why?" for having them.
DO NOT give me any ads or scams because I am very strict with these, I will take NO offers, even if they’re free or giveaways!
I will NOT tap on any link whitout context or verification
And I will not accept any beta reading offers, because again, I cannot pay for anything and also DO NOT tell me to do anything outside of tumblr just to make an offer with you, whatever offer will it be, good or bad. I don't care if I’m "Missing out", my safety matters more, and so is fairness.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 (or more) people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out <3
rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous, and tag as many people as you have WIPs. People send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and you post a snippet or tell them something about it.
Thank you for the tag @brashtea!! This is so fun!
“come get me out of california”
“Brand New Century (working title)”
“michael in the bathroom by himself”
“ITSIST Scenes that aren’t actually in the fic”
And then of course, “i told secrets i shouldn’t tell”
No pressure tags: @halflitpages @buckleybeat @lemonenty @dont-sneeze @anyashappytobehere
• “scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind (the way we were)”
• sevenspins fic which i don’t think i have a name for
• my summer road trip fic which i also do not have a name for
• nameless jancy fic which is essentially a character study
🏷️: @sweetcreatureeternal @idontknowhowtodance @puppydogmike @roseraintears @oliveespineapples @ssentinl (no pressure and i’m really sorry if you don’t have any wips, i’m delirious rn)
I work on all of them simultaneously when I’m procrastinating revising for stuff. I stress write okay??
@alexazucchie @justluchii @orcaraminga @temisjanaina @potatoanarchist @penningbookwurm @ponderingpen @vulpyabby @trulysarcastic @housemasterwilkes (I’m so bad at tagging people I was actually stressing oh my god)
Thank you for the tag! And don’t you stressy-depressy fren because stressed spelled backwards is desserts ✨️🍰 ;D (sending u anti-stressing hugs! >w<)
Also! I’m kinda of a "folder-inside-folder" kinda writing-storing style 😅 and I like them being separated by context n stuff... because my drafting style isn’t stable, since stability removes motivation from perfectionism, so... I write chaotically
there’s my main 3-big folders, and their stuff inside :P I just hope I didn't misunderstand the tag game’s requirements lol. because by "folder of WIPs", this is the only honest way I can reply with it because of my draft-storing style.)
• My tiny projects: (serves for lightweight work)
Tiny Happiness
Sharp Edges
Human Monstrousity
Grey Riddles
SCARLETTE (empty folder)
• D&T (stands for Draft&Test) (it is not an official WIP, its just a chaotic vault of me spamming my writing/self-made prompts/thought-of scenes of random WIPS or WB pieces here until I find what to do, helps alot for a motivation-driven-only writer.)
• Recap T,G,H. (by "recap" it's just another form of D&T for T,G,H. specifically...or relatedly.)
And...tags...idk really, so sorry if they’re few, and +open tags!!
I finally finished this traditional piece on craft paper! I really enjoyed working on it, especially mixing these deep blue tones with the texture of the paper. It feels so cozy and magical.
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Here’s a rough color sketch of my worldbuilding OC’s, I’ll consider it finished there because I’m still traumatized with the 15+ hours long rendering of another OC ;D 🥀
But on the bright side! My artstyle improved, and unlike the messy paint-drawings that took me 2 hours and looked so bad, these ones look better and they took me only 3 hours!! yeyy :D
Still not the best look tho, but hey I like the progress! uvu ✨️
Anyways!
Pole wolf wardens: Vihr the south twin (on the left) and Aquu the north twin (on the right)
Character detail:
Origin: They’re both originally born in one area: The south tribe (more details later; further below)
Original forms: Wolf appearances for both, with fur as pale as their skin shows. Their wolf sizes are much larger than normal wolves’, given their warden status.
Age: They both age about ~9.000 years, but they’re still considered "Young Wardens" in the eyes of the much older world.
Gender: Both males.
Powers: Vihr has the ability to control water temperature, wether it is cold, hot, snow, vapor. While Aquu,can directly materialize snow elements using magic and even summon snowstorms when threatened.
Personalities:
Aquu is stone-faced, quiet and doesn't speak only when necessary, a bit more instinctual than his brother, and less emotional. But deep down, he’s also a trusting person at heart and has faith in everyone’s capabilities.
As for Vihr, he’s slightly warmer in how expressive he can be, not talkative but not quiet either, and he’s more emotional/protective than his brother can be.
1st most fitting theme song for them:
Secondary:
Now! For the more character details ⬇️
(Includes birth, backstory, power/guarding rules, habits and open-world relationships.)
About their birth:
Both Vihr and Arquu are born in the south tribe as said, among the elven tribe with good resistance against snow in a continent earth-possessing snow, unlike it's floaty-ice opposite. Before fully developing their powers, they were just normal puppy-brothers who played and bonded with eachother and their tribe.
The pole twins’ powers, and their purpose as wardens:
As teenagers and no longer small pups, grown enough to learn hunting. Vihr found out he can trap prey by manipulating the physical snow and control it’s temperature to a freezing low, or a burning high whenever he pleases. Even out of snow, glacials, rain/snowstorms and vapor.
Aquu, the quieter twin, got frustrated that he couldn’t catch prey the same way like his brother. But that's when his tensing anger summoned a snowstorm out of nowhere, as well as generating snow out of nowhere using magic instead of his brothers’ already-existing physical elemental manipulation.
They both knew combining their powers would make a great team, no matter the environment they’re in! And so they started protecting their precious village "by instinct", knowing their powers could be so useful even in daily lifestyle. At first, it was seen as a play made for fun.
In their late teens, the eldest warden came to visit their snowy hometown, and requested Aquu—And Aquu alone—to guard the North pole, which was completely deserted from life with no defenses.
The reason:
Vihr’s power is meant for the south, as Igneirith—the eldest warden of earth itself—Stated, because earth’s disruption from this continent is wich prevented him from having direct control of sheer ice, and instead control temperatures, including the heat of it because of earth’s heat influence as well. This was mythologically considered "A share of Igneirith’s power", and so Vihr could keep the tribe warm, wich temperature itself made a miracle of growing healthy trees where snow didn't disturb by the influence. Allowing villagers to cut them down, farm a small amount of the same seeds, and build houses instead of tents or igloos.
As for Aquu’s power, it’s source had no earthly disruption and was symbolically meant for the North. He doesn't need a physical source to make snow, only his own mana of pure magical snow. The same for his snowstorms; there needn’t to be cloud there to make one. A power stubborn to exist whitout it’s base, isn’t it? Just like the glacials of the north, which existed and made frozen floors whitout needing anything below to ground it, and nor did Aquu need any of Igneirith’s power to exist and rule.
And so they were separated...
Aquu’s influence to the north pole made this environment to a once-lifeless piece...To a small, breathing icy region with only few individual inhabitants, about merely ~50 of population (individually) along with more growing of animals protected from the kills caused by pollution just from his own magic. There were no elves and not much really of a tribe, but some humans—wether they were banned criminals, doomed sailors, escaped war victims whom misfortunes ended up all here—To be blessed with Aquu’s protection, at first hostile... But Aquu is built on loyalty and trust, even with his stone-cold expression he bears all the time. Show him reasons to trust, and he might consider you as his pack member, and a wolf pack is always family; Blood or not.
As for Vihr’s influence, more human friends started to enter this tribe and some of them were trader friends to the elves, for example. Given the safety under Vihr’s wing (symbolically) and warmth, the humans settled there with the elves and coexisted as permanent inhabitants making for about ~200 people in the south tribe’s popularity. Despite the general politics between the species growing in the outside world, the coexistence here in the tribes stayed well and strong for centuries, to this day’s generation! In exchange, this made Vihr busier for his guardian role...
Transport & Reunion
For wardens, transportation is basically child’s play. So ofcourse they can reunite whenever they wish! The only issue is Vihr’s occupation, he’s too worried that his tribe won’t survive whitout him there. In contrast, Aquu does in fact believe in his tribe despite it being so-little-in-numbers with no source of heating, He knows they can survive well whitout him.
So Aquu takes occasional visits to the south pole even after the separation, legends say it "The shadow of a giant wolf walking across the aurora’s lights over glacial paths"—That was a sign of Aquu’s transportation to meet up with Vihr. And there comes the fun in two wolf-bros playing and running around with the sound of the heavy trotting of their paws around the bare village paths as one chases after another...The nostalgia of childhood! The villagers are simply not disturbed by it, for they know there is no such thing as family’s precious bond.
Relationship with their people
In the north pole, the people here are quite fearless when it comes to facing dangers. Was it Aquu’s influence, too? Because of that, they do have a good bond that isn't solely on distant respect; But more family-like, despite their teasing for their wolf-boy as if they’re not standing face to a warden live. When the humans go for a hunt or expedition in the icy land, it is pretty casual to ask your warden for small tasks and place some weighted resource bags on Aquu’s wolf back, for him lifting these is just like lifting grocery bags, even if 10x heavier. They’d tease him calling him "Aku!" or "There boy, Kuku!" and Aquu’s only response is grumpy silence, with his back turned to them. Ofcourse they’d laugh it off as if harmless tease, then make it up by letting him in their tents and have meals together and sleep in groups as if he legally lives with them on whatever time he wishes to; Everything just like how a wolf pack does.
But in the south pole, it’s quite the opposite. People there are shy towards Vihr, seeing him more like an important protector than anything "family". He didn’t ask to be feared, but people think more of the burden it’d be on him if they ask him for even the smallest tasks such as fishing or even playing games with the children, thinking about all the weather+physical protection he keeps providing to them. Making their relationship bond a bit distant, with fewer participations. Consequently, Vihr feels often more lonely, even if he gets invited to dinners in warm homes as well. It’s just quieter, respect-based, smiles that feel welcoming but not fully-including.
While all these make Vihr more yearning for the meeting of his brother at every Aurora nightsky, Aquu, being less emotional, he doesn't have that same "desperation" to see him, because he knows he can just go to him whenever he wants. And once he does, he always leaves in quiet goodbyes in short-duration transport, and the visiting a bit too frequent. Like the very rule of loyalty among pack members; is to always make your family feel included.
~ I think that's all what I have to tell about the Pole Twins ✨️ ~
~ Asks about them welcome! (I’m still in the process of sharing little pieces or my WB.)
omg I missed playing genshin so much it's been I think since February or January since the last time I played
I know, I missed out on really big events...dunno if I can catch up to all of ’em... but hey, atleast I remember saving some 6k primos before i’ve left! ;D
edit: WHEN’S NEFER’S RERUN?!?!?!
I LOVE NEFER SO MUUUUCHHH
SHE’S ALWAYS BEEN MY FAV, SHE’S SUCH A SMARTASS AND I LOVE THESE NERDSSSS
i’m gonna jump all other banners UNTIL. HER. RERUN!!!
Hey I just remembered,
I’M GONNA ADD HER ON MY PINNED POST, I DIDN’T MENTION NEFER BEING MY FAV THERE!!!!!
(Psst, tagging @writingwithoutconfidence bcuz u asked me for it b4, I hope that’s okay! ^^’ )
[First chapter: Chapter 0]
[Prev: Chapter 1]
Chapter 2: Lucia, Aine, Diya, Meir. Helia.
"The five heroes of light all lived up the treehouse where they all meet together in one place, from many places. In a thick-wooded tree that lived for a millenia.
Lush green leaves covering their rooftop, squirrels visited through their window’s entrance and Lucia, the nature loving griffin child, would eagerly give it the acorn it loves. One day a squirrel came back not asking for the acorn like everyday, but instead came with a pouch filled with stolen coins. Lucia was so upset as she saw it, told the squirrel to return it wherever it found these coins and apologize. As it came back, the squirrel came bearing three roses in different colors, saying that each one came as a gift from the people where it returned their coins to. And they’re the ones who told the squirrel to send the flowers to Lucia, as a thanks for helping them return their coins and teach the naughty squirrel a lesson, taught whitout violence but second chances.
Lucia bounced in happiness and thankfulness, she rushed as she flapped her small wings down on the ground from the treehouse, and call out to Aine—a gentle erkling who was just sunbathing in the soft grassed field. Lucia always loved to decorate her antlers with these flowers she receives, both sharing their passion for these colorful petals. Aine was joyous, bouncing around on her little hooves, always proud and happy with the flowers on her antlers whenever Lucia gives her some, which was every day! One day Aine was strolling around again, smelling in the fresh air of humid tree leaves and damp, soft earth, just like every morning. She finds a baby bird that hasn't fully grown its feathers, fallen on its back and crying for help. Aine frowned for the bird and gently picked it up with her little hands, flied up the tree branches and put it back on its nest. The birds all started screaming for food, but Aine hums a gentle lullaby she used to hear until they fell asleep. When the mother bird came back, she finds no trace of any erkling but instead find a beautiful flower posed on her nest, with her children to be soundly asleep instead of crying for food.
Diya, a mischievous little elf who just has this invisible magic of making everyone happy the moment she enters a room, for her mischief isn’t only the destructive kind; but an energy so cheerful you just can’t to not smile at her. One day under a summer's sunlight, two children were fighting for possibly the smallest reason, and suddenly both of them get soaked in water as Diya threw water balloons at them, with no reason nor permission. She pointed out that the hot weather must be getting them all grumpy! And she gave them their own water balloons in turn. The two laughed as they dropped off the very topic they were fighting about to take their revenge, there be started the water war!
Meir, the enthusiastic kitsune who just can’t sit still! Her family always traveled to places and Meir always followed with wonder, and summer is the only season where she gets to meet her friends. One day Diya fell sick after playing with cold water in this balloon war, Meir took her joy in teasing Diya, wich the other pouted in return. But despite that, Meir has brought the medicinal herbs she was taught to use, and used her magic to lower Diya’s high temperature, making her healing faster and easier. After that Meir apologized for teasing her friend, but in return Diya wanted to apologize as well for being mad at her.
And finally, Helia, a human friend of the five children of the light. She always thinks that she’s not good enough for her friends, that she doesn’t have any magic nor wings nor did she do the impossible for helping someone. But, she’ve been such a tree-hugger, and animal lover. And a good listening friend, too! Helia doesn't notice this, but her friends: Lucia, Aine, Diya and Meir all joined into a group hug for Helia, and remind her of the days when she helped Lucia feed her animals. The days she made sure the flowers were well-watered every morning before Aine sees them. The days she stayed for Diya when she played and fell sick even though she felt like she couldn’t do anything big, but she was always there to listen to Diya’s fun stories and words, whitout judging. The days she explored forests with Meir and helped her gather herbs and berries. How is this not enough, after everything she’ve done? Helia wept tears of joy as she listened to their support, and gave them all a tiiiight hug!"
And this was the end of the traditional story told among all tribes of this region. The elderly feathered friend leaned back on his rocking chair, with six children in dragon wings or griffin beaks sat as they listened to his story. He continued:
_"Moral of the story is, no matter how little you think you do... True friends will always see the best in you, because for them? Those little things you’re doing means a lot to them. And remember! Friendship should never be measured with how much you do or how useful you are, but it is measured with how much you love eachother and be there for eachother!"
_"Pappy, pappy!" A draconian child eagerly interrupted, "Why do we call them heroes if they don't have superpowers or defeat evil?"
_"That is a good question, child!" The elder smiled, "Because being someone’s hero, you don't have to do the impossible just to be appreciated. Like Helia, in the legend! Sometimes, you just got to make them happy, and suddenly you’re forever remembered for brighting up the room around you."
_"Hehe, that’s so silly and easy!" The draconian replied with a laugh,
_"No, not silly!" Another child screamed back.
_"Pappy pappy, does that then make us all heroes, now?" The third calmly asked, bright and curious and innocent.
The elder chuckled, he then leaned down from his chair closer to the third child.
_"Tell me, little one. Have you been making your parents happy today?"
_"uhmmm..." The child put a finger over his little chin to think. "Yes! My mommy and daddy are aaalways happy for me, this time they called me brave for waking up right with the sunrise!"
_"That’s wonderful! You really are a brave hero." The elder clapped his hands as he leaned back.
Helia, the city child was sitting among the six gathered children. She listened to the story with a still face. It wasn’t about princesses this once, but something new to her in her fairytale knowledge.
A small draconian looked at Helia beside her, and began staring, taking in the unusual features. Helia stared back, doing the same thing to the child. And here, both kids are confused with eachothers’ weird looks!
Helia leaned and poked the dragonling’s scaled wing.
In return, the dragonling turned to her griffin friend on the other side, the tail wagging happily and her little hands covering her whispering mouth.
_"She touched me, she touched me!!!"
The griffin friend leaned aside and looked strangely at Helia, curious.
_"Are you an elfie?"
The dragonling leaned closer to the human,
_"Why do you have short ears if you’re elfie?"
Poor Helia just stared confused, and a little overwhelmed with the questioning attention as well.
_"Elfie...?"
She looked up with a finger on her chin, remembering the arrow-bearing elves who are seen as warriors and explorers in fairy tales! With cool tattoos, long sharp ears, and a very courageous pride, and some having magic...
_"The elves that hold arrows and shoot at evil?" Helia gestured like a shooting arrow as she curiously looked at the two.
But the dragonling gasped, quickly shaking her hands in large waves in denial. Was it the fear of weapons, perhaps?
_"No, no!! Elfies don’t hold arrews!"
_"Elfies LOVE holding flowers!" The griffin chimed in, and continued with specific gestures. "They grow the prettiest of colorful flowers, gardens with the yummiest berries!"
The draconian child eagerly nodded, and continued with loud whispers.
_"It’s a garden of gentle secrets! As my mom said, I don’t know how they grow plants THIS beautiful!"
_"Hey! You just have to water these plants It’s that simple, they grow everywhere!" The griffin protested, as if offended!
_"O-oh, really? I just thought theirs were unique!"
_"Nuh-uh! They just work very hard!"
And the argument between the two children continues, but Helia lost focus in the middle of it. She thought about the flower pots they bring at home back in her city life, her home, but unfortunately they always wither so quickly and never really live for long... And she can’t remember when was the last time she cried for a dead flower, other than a quiet grief accepting that her world isn’t good with good things.
Her mind drifts to the garden not far from her house, where human children used to play in it and not feel like outcasts, until it got removed just to make it a parking station. A very common thing to happen everywhere in cities.
For usually to be a bright child filled with positivity, for once Helia felt an ache of hurt and nostalgia in her heart, her arms unintentionally clenched around herself...
_"Alright, alright kits. How about we try to agree that, for elves, their secret of growing their gardens is... Showering their plants with love and enthusiastic care?"
The elder’s speech interrupted the kids’ argument, wich also snapped Helia’s attention back to the present.
_"Wait, is it really true?"
_"What pappy says is always true!" The little griffin raised her hands, as she replied to the innocent draconian’s suprise.
_"Yeah, it is!"
The elderly laughed, relieved that atleast they stopped arguing. His gaze then drops on Helia, who’ve been much quieter lately. His mind drifts back to earlier this morning he saw a messy, starving human child come towards him as he was sitting in the same chair waiting for another storytelling session with the usual kids.
Her words were clumsy as she didn’t know how to express it, it left him confused for a long moment before he finally realizes that she needed him to tell her the famous "Children of light" story. Curious, he asked her why, she looked both sideways to stand on her tiptoes and whisper to him that a lady introduced the story to her, and that her name was one of the five.
Maybe this meant something for her.
He finally then agreed, and told Helia to sit there and wait as the other kits come after they’re done with their breakfast time. It’s true that some of them already heard the story before, while some others didn’t. He doesn’t mind repeating told stories, instead he was always pleased of telling tales as long as the children still enjoy it!
As they waited, the elder noticed Helia’s stillness while waiting. She didn’t get impatient, she didn’t get noisy, she didn’t ask anymore questions than one request. And her stare on the ground, seemed so unfocused... What was she thinking about?
_"Hey, heyy!" And the thoughts were interrupted, once again. "Elfie elfie, you haven’t answered me! Why are your ears shorties?"
_"Elfie! What is your name? Can we be friends?"
The other children looked at Helia as well, curious to meet a new friend! Little do they know that on her side, she’s starting to feel very overwhelmed.
_"M-my name is—..."
_"Kits, how about we give our new friend a little of personal space, and you go get some lunch? Your parents or your other friends must be waiting for you somewhere!"
The elder interrupts, knowing it is a bit too early for lunchtime. He knows that Helia is a human, and he didn’t want to grow suspicion into children too early for their age, once they tell their day to their parents after getting home. The parents might be political about this, and he didn’t want to risk it over a small, human child who’s just existing and nervous in this unfamiliar environment.
The children stand up as they agree that they do have a few other friends to play with, one of them hesitates and looks back at Helia as they really wanted to be friends with the "elf". Well, maybe tommorrow they’d meet again!
Helia stares a bit longer before she stands up herself, hesitating for where to go next.
_"Child... Thank you for listening to my fairytale."
The child’s eyes light up, remembering the nice thing to do is to say thank you!
_"Ah! Thank you for the story...! Uhm... ’Pappy’?" She smiled, a tiny, shy smile. "I like it."
_"It is my pleasure to tell kits stories every morning. Feel free to come here in the same park after every sunrise for another adventure, or not. It’s your choice."
Helia nodded, this invitation made her feel—for once in this place—a sort of belonging where someone doesn’t see her like an outcast, but as a living being. The elder then speaks up once again,
_"Tell me, child... Helia, was it? Like the legend you were eager to listen to before. Where are your parents, so you could come back to?"
She opened her mouth to speak, then hesitate. She remembers, once again, the fact that she doesn't know where her home even is from this place. Doesn’t know where her parents are, wether they’re waiting for her, or were they too busy arguing to even notice... And remember the crash once again. The lack of sight. The lack of knowing wether her dad or mom stayed in the hospital, or are they even alive in the first place?
Most importantly. Being in this strange place, can she ever get back home? Can she be normal again like the other children who just laughed after a storytime, hanged out and played with friends, and joined their parents for lunch before going back home, safe and happy and normal?
These thoughts... Helia’s open mouth trembles, her arms clenched again and her eyes dropped their gaze on the ground whenever the thoughts get too dark or paranoid or... Showing signs of trauma for someone that is only eight years old.
The elderly noticed, and quickly reached his hand over Helia’s shoulder, and it resulted in a flinch none of the two expected.
Before anyone says anything, the kind storytelling elder gently hands her a small pouch with coins inside.
_"Here. You don’t need to tell me everything, little one. That silence is enough." His eyes weren’t unkind. Instead, empathetic. "Use it to buy lunch for yourself, if you’re hungry."
She looks at the pouch, and hesitate to take it. Is it safe? Is it okay? Is it normal? She looks at him, and sees his gentle smile he’ve put on. The smile itself answers Yes, it is okay.
Helia takes it in her hands, and thank him once again. He answers with a goodbye wave as he watches her go search for wherever they sell food in this unfamiliar place. The doubt it took to take it, and the hurry in her walk to eat... She must be really hungry. Or, maybe it is just an escape from all of earlier’s tension. Maybe a mix of the two.
Perhaps yesterday’s strawberry cream-filled bread was the last thing she’ve ate.
Meanwhile, normal, happier families get to have more than two meals a day.
She finds food through the window of someone’s shop, and realise it is the same bakery as yesterday. That means the alley she once slept in must be near, too.
In this village, people don't get to have multiple restaurants or repeated buildings in one area. And so far, she hasn’t seen any other food-making shop, nor tall buildings, nor did she see extremely wide buildings, either. People in this place seem to know eachother alot, like as if it is just a small island being shared by a small world, where everyone can just know everyone.
The child gathers up her courage, and enter the bakery instead of just staring at food from the distance. The closer view of several options is much better to see, as well as making her even hungrier just by seeing them.
But today, she doesn't feel like anything sweet at noon, and so she reaches her tiny height by the owner’s counter and ask for a sandwich; The simplest option and also the best she could think of. But unfortunately...
She doesn’t know how to count money. Let alone, a whole new currency of golden coins inside the pouch!
_"Here."
Helia puts up her entire pouch onto the counter, and takes her sandwich.
_"Here’s your chaaan—"
The red-scaled draconian owner finally looks forward from his unfocused gaze, after counting the change himself. And sees no sight of any tiny featureless person who paid and took the sandwich.
And on her impatient end for her own tummy, she leaves the bakery with a great feeling of success in her hungry eyes!
Tiny little satisfied steps, and one bite...two bites...
Suddenly, a tall, two-horned figure with dark crimson wings stands by her way.
_"Excuse me."
In shock, Helia swallows her bite before opening her mouth in a shocked impression of his intimidating look.
And she falls in silence.
The figure kneels down on her level,
_"...Are you, perchance, the ’lost human’ unsupervised child?"
he’s so weak in his spirit he only wants to feel strong by bullying me and my middle sister who’s younger than him
and my parents keep excusing his behavior only because he’s older?!?! and they call me the spoiled one for being youngest even though i’ve been the target bully all the time, and rarely ever feels defended??!!
he yells at me the moment he finds an opportunity to do it, not because I did something wrong, because he wants to. there was a day he spilled water and told me to fix the mess HE made, I used paper and he said "NO, use a towel instead of wasting papers!!!" (BUT TOWELS ARE DAMP THEY MAKE MORE OD A MESS) and then he saw the door unsatisfied him and told me to close it, AT THE SAME TIME I was going for it the cat was scratching it AND HE YELLED AT ME BEFORE THE SECOND FOR "LETTING THE CAT SCRATCH THE DOOR"???? HE YELLED AT ME 3 TIMES IN ONE SECOND FOR DIFFERENT THINGS AND I TOLD DAD, HE SAID SIMPLY "I know it’s unfair but he’s the one transporting you to your classes and pays for your treats" I. DON’T. CARE. I DONT HANDLE BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT. I’M NOT A FUCKING SERVANT JUST BECAUSE I’M A GIRL AND THAT "I HAVE TO KEEP DOING CHORES" IN MY EXAMS PERIOD.
TODAY I was very bad at mood I felt like I was failing at my math exam despite trying, HE COMES HOME STRAIGHT YELLING AT ME FOR LACKING RESPONSIBILITY OF MY CAT!?!? I JUST WOKE UP AND I DIDN’T SEE HER WATER BOWL WAS EMPTY, WHY GIVE ME 3816 INSULTS AND YELL AT ME JUST FOR YOU TO LAUGH AND FEEL BETTER, I KNOW YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THE CAT DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU DO!!! SMEONE WHO CARES WOULD BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAID "But I AM feeding her and watering her, you’re only judging by what you see instead of what actually happened and I just woke up to notice!" BUT HE MAKES EVERYTHING MY FAULT AND DAD ONLY SIDES WITH HIM, ONLY BECAUSE OF "age logic" instead of seeing what's actually been happening for so long... ever since my eldest sis was gone from our home he’ve been like this and i’m tired of this, I’d feel bad for any women who fell for him and decided to marry him because trust me, he is only respectful towards older women than his age but on the other side he’s a complete, shitty, weak sexist man who DEFINITELY sounds like the abusive husband. DEAR GOD NEVER GIVE THIS MAN A GENTLE WOMAN me and my middle sis (middle: older than me, younger than him) have been suffering with his mere cheap existence
Also i’m grateful I’m able to vent here with giving him insults because now at home as "the youngest" I don't have a right to insult anyone older than me, no matter how unfair it gets I’m just FORCED to hold it all back in. and i’m tired of staying silent of this unfairness like I did my whole childhood. I am staying un-silent and did a middle finger behind his back, i’m more satisfied now.
also he talks about responsibility but when he decided to throw the rescue pigeon we once had, I was the only one who gave it food and water and occasionally checked on the pigeon while keeping the cat away and protected her from TWO seagull attacks after the first one when I was alone. while he? he doesn’t decide to care for animals, be has the mentality of "I don't adopt because they waste ressources" so he’s the type to AVOID responsibility, difference? I ACTUALLY DO take the weight of someone’s life on my back and want to make sure wether the pigeon is okay or not. same thing for my cat.
so I knew he was childish to judge by what he sees and not what is happening, and HE DOESN’T KNOW he’s the more IRRESPONSIBLE one out of all us and my sister who do better jobs than him. all he does is yell, again because he doesn't care about meringue, he only wants to feel to be in a good mood when he’s bored by bullying. never seen a 30-year-old man be so childish like this. but ugh, he doesn't see the truth, he denied all my words and turned it into mockery.
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TAG YOUR MOOTS AND MAKE THEM EXPLAIN THEIR USERNAMES LORE
Starting with me:
Hyyl18 because when i was youngest i had a group in a random app with some friends and i didnt knew qhat username to use so i decided to create one with things i used to read since we were talking abt fanfic in this group so: Hot Yaoi Yuri Lemon +18 stuff (i was in my dirty era dont dare to judge me). Hyyl18 thats it. Now i use it everywhere yay
@patroclus-is-the-bigger-person @b4rty-r0s13r-w1ll-fck-y0ur-m0m @cuntyteardrop @glassesgirlies @leninthestarlight @bardorsomethinglikethat anyone else who wanna join tbh yay
Thanks for tagging me @potatoanarchist , and I’m so sorry about your loss and I hope everything in your mental/physical health will be better ❤️🩹❤️ you’re already so strong to think about people’s smiles while struggling, that’s big
also about my username, they all contained "Abby" in it not because it's my real name, but because at 11 when I played my first ever online game, my sister chose me an anonymous name "Abby.O", and it does somewhat ressemble my real one in another language, so I kept it.
"Abby_Dragonling", "Abby.O", "E2Abby", "Reader_Fox" but the most used username usually is: "Foxy_Abby". i’ve been using it for years, until one day my sister told me that using "foxy' in a username means as something horny or mischievous, and since I got tumblr I didn't want to sound sus so I wanted something a bit more innocent, and that's when I got the idea of adding Vulpix in it since he’s one of my many fav pokemon! and he’s a fox, too. (I love snow vulpix most)
so yeah, "Vulpy_Abby" is smth after an og name of mine "Foxy_Abby", and now yk the lore of my user :') I wonder if someone would recognize any of these overall usernames I throwed from a certain platform/game...big coincidence if it happens!
Also sorry for not adding tags but anyone and everyone can participate! I have to study I’m so bad at focusing yk... (it's my day 2 of passing exams now, can’t wait for it to be finally over)
A seagull passed by our balcony quite abruptly, followed by the sound of my cat slamming the window twice towards that view. When I came to check in, I just witnessed a food chain occurrence when a seagull was killing a tiny pigeon right in our balcony, and since I thought predatory instincts are natural, I’ve let it happen for the seagull needed to eat eventually...While my cat, I dunno if she was excited or disturbed in any way, but she was locked in while watching.
My sister came, and whitout much thought she hit the window wich frightened the seagull away, but the pigeon was too wounded to move. The gull tried to come back, but my sister didn't allow it to get it's food. I respect her reaction if she reacted on instinct to protect the weak, but not when the pigeon is already dying and I think the seagull would better eat it that way rather than kill a second life just for one meal.
But good news is, the pigeon was still alive, the bad news is it lost alot of its feathers (tail, wings, belly feathers) and got a muscle-tear wound on its side, we definitely saw that bloody chunk on the floor... But weirdly enough—in a good way weird—It didn’t have continuous bleed from the wound. Left on it’s back, the pigeon was incapable to get back on its feet and when my mom came in, she told us to embrace for it’s death.
But consequence? from 6 AM, to 9 AM, still on it’s back, it was still breathing. when I came back home from physics class at 1 PM, my sister sheltered the pigeon in my cat’s old (but open) cage and put it in a corner away from the sun. later on I cut a couple of empty bottles to give it water and bread crumbs, learning that pigeons eat two meals a day.
Still standing, still breathing, still looking with it’s pretty eyes and tilting it’s head whenever I get close to it, though it hasn’t touched any of the food/water I gave it. The whole night passed, checked on it again, still nothing. Oh and ofcourse, I lock my door before opening the balcony window because my cat... she loves bullying pigeons. she almost killed one—a baby—when she was 2 years old.
Today at 4-5 PM, there were strong gusts of wind. I was concerned about the animal but I was too scared to act for some reason, at 6 when the weather calmed down I warned my sister about the wind event before checking on, got a piece of cloth over my mouth and nose since my brothers keep warning me about "how pigeons spread illnesses from just breathing near it", and when I got out I found the shelter has moved due to the wing; side-way-down, the water plastic bowl over there and the bread bowl still in the cage and luckily, both bowls weren't flipped nor they made a disaster. I kinda panicked when I couldn't find the pigeon inside, until when I looked behind of one of our heavy plant pots; it was still living, standing, breathing and tilting it's head like usual.
Now I’m waiting for my sis to finish her food so she can help me put her back in her shelter, or... Maybe one day take her to a vet, if my brothers/father accept taking us there.
Other than that, why is the pigeon not moving at all? it kinda worries me...
An unknown matter of time has passed since. Back on her consciousness, Helia opens her eyes, and sees bushy, fluffy things in lush green on top of her. Her hands feel a sharp-edged feeling but light enough not to hurt, her body feels to be on a hard thing...
The light, no longer white, feels warm and sunny while it’s blue from all the top—She doesn’t recognize anything at first; it took her about ten minutes of blankly staring at the sky, then finally get back on her full awareness. She sits up recognizing the bushy green she saw on top were tall tree leaves; never ever seen trees that tall. She feels sharp-yet-harmless grass under her palm, and solid-hard earth carrying her weight on the ground, the yellow warmth found to be oddly comforting.
Her mind doesn’t start spiraling right away, or atleast... It doesn’t show externally; to think to have been abandoned, lost, in a place completely unknown... Isn’t it what she wanted? Greens, browns, blues, yellows—It should excite her! Perhaps, it is simply processing.
But, everything feels completely unfamiliar now, it feels away from home...Even when it feels like paradise.
Suddenly, the first thing that triggered action in this place—was a bursting figure flying from the sky at a high speed, startled, Helia’s eyes widen in reflex and look up, but trees make it almost impossible to see the sky.
—Then, a roar.
Not dramatically loud, but screechy like of an eagle. Wings flap heavily, in contrast to what normal bids’ flapping sound like.
Helia stands up and runs in the unknown forest, panicked, unknowing how to normally react to such sound when you don't know what's happening—Maybe it’s the most normal reaction possible, even.
Between the shadows of each tree’s gap from up ahead, they would darken and reopen in the gap areas in an instant, wich describes fast, heavy movement, and also big.
Childish pants, she gets the urge to scream for help, that maybe someone is nearby, maybe someone—like her mom, like her dad, maybe even the nurse—But no sign of anyone, and no use to risk provoking whatever creature that’s up ahead.
Finally, something decides to drop down from the gaps and land in a heavy, controlled thud. Sharp yellow claws, golden brown feathers all over the body, a lion-like tail... And a white-spotted head with a beak.
Helia recognizes the creature from fairytales back in the city world, she still remembers. But they didn't make much apparition other than help take princesses in flights and transport... But this is no time to deal with the claw-y, beak-y figures, but no use making your precense obvious through making more running noises either. So while the creature looks around, Helia takes advantage of this instant moment to hide behind the tree on the opposite direction of the griffin, watching every trace of every "claw-step" it makes and continuously shift to it’s opposite... And hear a softer, screechy sound from that same creature. Was it confused? Did it notice a strange smell? How could Helia know how humans even smell to monsters!
She couldn’t keep her patience in the middle of panic, so she just bursts out running with a strong starting push against the tree the moment the creature paused. Not even daring to look back, not even daring to question a single ounce of environmental wonder—The priority here is to survive, like it always has been—Just this time, it’s more physical for a child who’s just eight.
Tired, tiny legs skipping over the grass, tiny breaths panting, until one leg trips over a root in the way and fall with uncontrollable rolling until hitting her head by a tree, hard enough to scare away a bird off of its branch. When Helia looked up... Well, atleast some normal animals still exist there!
Then she looks forward. And see a little sign of a drier area, she hesitates until she hears another, more distant screeching and quickly return to running for survival. She hasn’t even though about removing the twigs that stuck to her hair, and before stepping foot in the new area... A nice, warm smell comes across her nose, wich reminds her of her hunger and that she hasn't eaten since who knows when. She steps a bit further towards the dry path as the thin pathway becomes larger and larger, until she starts seeing small wooden buildings, and a calmer atmosphere; less wild, less dangerously quiet with the noise of a distant rolling wheel and footsteps...
But as she looks around more carefully;
Humans but not in very human shape, bearing wings with skin and scales or feather and color, horns of curled bone or straight spikes, ears of feathers and scaley figures; terrified of their fangs when they talk or smile, their claws of sharps or shorts, yellow or red eyes with slit pupils of predator precision; that’s the only place where a human would take the turn of feeling like the outcast of a whole different society, and it happened to be a a child that does not even know such fantasies existed, not even aware of what this place is.
Helia rushes towards the center whitout thinking, but it got no better. Instead it is more crowded with the same creatures with full-on large birdy forms turning human after a long flight, or dragons lifting thrice the number of crates a human can possibly lift in both arms, or friends in tight beaks bearing the same lion-like tail and brown feathers as before, so Helia couldn’t hold back a quick yelp and hide to an alley, remembering oonce again of her hunger, but preferring to hide better than to risk another chance of facing dangerous claws.
Arms covering the head, tiny knees trembling.
What did she think the world of her desire would look like?
What were her expectations when the world suddenly chose color and warm sunlight instead of her usual grayness?
There was once a time, every child’s dream was to live with friendly monsters or princesses with magical powers.
That was Helia’s dream, too.
So, why is she scared? Why does the world suddenly made her feel like an outcast the moment she got in a place completely unknown?
And... What really happened, since ever the crash?
Helia freezes at the memory, eyes stop squinting in fear and actually remember something.
It all started with the accident, but to no knowing of how it escalated since ever the white-room atmosphere...The hospital beeping, the nurse who kindly gifted that cutesy round, fluffy toy.
Then...
Then, what has happened next?
Was she even conscious at that time?
Not even close, and maybe this is why it feels frustrating at the moment.
...
Her arms let go of her head, but her legs don't stop tensing.
She lowers her gaze, and get unable to control her tears, as she quietly breaks into tiny, helpless sobs.
Does she miss her home? Yes.
Does she miss her parents? Yes, but
Does she miss the arguments? ...No.
Does she miss the black-and-white atmosphere of her world? Neither this one.
...
Maybe we’d get it now.
The sobs helped her understand her feelings better,
Maybe it is no longer frustrating now.
Just... A little bit confusing, and sad.
And just maybe...
Maybe that’s okay, too.
Just like everytime the princess cried before being saved by the prince.
...
...Or not.
Maybe this time, it is not really her world anymore.
Maybe this time, nothing will ever feel familiar nor comfortable at once.
Maybe this time... There is no use clinging onto hope, after doing so for so long you finally start to lose it when life decides to go too far on you.
She lived in a world of imagination, but at what cost?
...
Helia rubbed her tears off, and neutralized her face with a sad, heavy heart.
The cost of familiarity.
The cost of comfort.
The cost of happiness.
The cost of... Hope.
She stands up, and walk out the alley in an unfocused manner, just to look at the bakery door beside her.
She’s hungry.
But doesn’t know how to pay, or get for what to eat. All what she gets is to stare at whatever helps her satiety... With no use of imagining it’s taste.
A soft ringing of the door.
Helia is startled; another feathered human—not the usual lion-tailed one—exits the bakery while holding a strawberry-filled bun of bread. Yummy-smelling, pretty looking...
"Mmrrp?"
The feathered one made a strange noise—almost like a chirp—as he noticed the child, and so they stared at eachother.
_"Hello, little one—"
He paused.
No wings, no tail, no beak or horns nor feathers or scales, nothing.
But atleast, it’s easy to know that having human speech make them look less animal-like in Helia’s perspective.
_"...What are you?"
The child turns her head left and right. Nervous, clutching on her own cloth unconsciously. She answers in a small voice;
_"...Helia."
The other shook his head,
_"No, I did not mean ’who’ are you. But, what are you?" He explains patiently, though not super kindly either. "This village is small, and I’ve never seen your face before. Besides, no one really hides their features anymore here."
_"Features...?"
The child’s answer seems to be genuine in confusion, and the other finally understands the situation, and confirms it in his mind that she’s a human, like it’s really they’re the ones being outcasts here instead of it being the other way around. Is it really, though?
_"So, you don't come from here?"
Helia shook her head in response.
_"I see..." He squinted his eyes, and observed the child a little more. "Are you really alone here?"
Her grip tightened on her cloth, her anxiety preventing her from speaking further. Not that she’s bad or guilty, but it’s the uneasening pressure you can’t help but feel like it’s crushing all your social bravery.
_"Unaccompanied..." The being grumbled under his breath, not certain if angry or protective, but it is certainly a suspicious feel towards the human. "I’ll go get someone to deal with this outsider child."
The creature held his strawberry bread in his beak, then his arms grew feathers in a softer shade of brown than the griffins’ feathers—ones who simply has their wings on their back instead of completely replacing their arms—and took off the ground, flying to an unknown place as the bread’s smell fades with him. While Helia is left there, covering her head in her arms at the sudden burst of air from the wings’ push impact.
Meanwhile, a scaled lady enters the bakery next, not knowing wether she is aware of the new precense or not, as others just moved on in their days. Not sure why, but this lack of extreme reactions feels a bit reassuring to the child whitout even trying.
To no meaning of causing more distractions, Helia just comes back to her alley from before and rest there, holding her little, grumbling belly.
The feathery person from before did not seem directly hostile, but neither did their behavior sound as kind as it should be. Maybe Helia’s just sensitive to think this, maybe the people’s behaviors change with the different environments. Maybe... Once again, it’s okay.
Or, isn’t she overusing this word already, excusing every mean behavior that happens to her? She just couldn't stop.
A few minutes later, the gentle sound of the ringing bakery bell was heard multiple times since her first encounter, people occasionally going and passing by...Until a figure appears by the same alley Helia’s on.
A red-scaled lady, holding the same strawberry-filled bread she’ve seen just earlier. Bearing a kind smile on her face, but tiny heartbeats panic once more the closer she gets. The lady then scrouches down, trying to match heights within the child’s tiny reach, and hand out the bread from her hand.
Helia’s eyes widen, from an expectation of harm and hostility, to an act of kindness with a safe voice, gentle towards weaker beings.
_"Here, I figured you were hungry."
She didn’t hand her a slice, or a quarter or half a bread; but the whole bun entirely, not even thinking once about the price or wether will the tiny-bodied hunger even finish it whole.
_"I’m sorry about earlier, it is not often we meet humans in places like these, so... Sometimes people tend to misunderstand, but I’m sure he meant no real harm."
_"...Oh."
The child slowly held the bun, as if hesitant, and took the tiniest bite to feel it’s taste...
_"What is your name, child?"
Strawberry creamy, the cream’s texture so soft and the bread is perfectly warm, even in hands’ touch, which leaves a feeling of pure comfort as if all worries just ran away while your mouth enjoys this sweet softness.
_"Helia."
_"Helia."
The lady repeated, and almost chuckled at herself as she saw the bit of cream get itself under her nose after the second, happier bite.
_"That is such a beautiful name, I heard the elders of this village tell stories of children with the names of light who don’t save the world—but brighten it with their very precense and Happiness. A child named Helia, was one of them!"
From hearing this, Helia’s eyes shine as she looks up with high-end curiosity.
_"R-Really?"
The kind lady wipes the cream off from under Helia’s nose with her thumb.
_"Really."
_"I... Didn't meet anyone with my name back in my city."
Curious, the lady tilted her head.
_"City?"
_"Yeah!"
_"Child, the nearest city is a couple hundreds of miles from here."
Helia blinks at the information.
_"...Huh?"
The lady’s eyes widen at the realization, unknowing of the mysterious truth, but whatever guess she had immediately made her feel guilty.
_"I’m sorry, I..." She takes a pause to look at the child’s eyes; oblivious, innocent, young. "I d-don’t know, maybe I’m just silly!" She laughed it off, to ’protect’ the only remaining wonder in Helia’s eyes.
_"Oh..."
Tiny eyes glance down at the strawberry bread, the cream looks so smooth inside the filling.
_"I have to go now. It was very pleasant to talk to you, Helia."
The lady interrupted, which got Helia’s attention back from the bread. Then, a childish, soft sound of a farewell;
_"Bye-bye."
The lady smiles, and make a small wave.
_"Bye-bye! I hope to meet again."
Gentle, fading footsteps and goodbye waves.
The opposite of rushing, angry or hurrying sounds that she usually hears from home. ’The city home.’
Then, it’s silent again.
But this time, it isn’t pure isolation, she just moves on in enjoying her little, simple meal in a heavenly sweet taste.
Strawberry isn’t her favorite, but one must know that it is okay that small things are still enjoyable, even when not perfect nor polished.
Then, if small things matter so much...
Maybe that’s the purpose of life in the first place, wether it is a peaceful harmony is familiar homes and warm families—
—Or a harsh survival in the streets or alleys, where even one full meal is surely to be happily celebrated.
Helia, a city child lost in an unknown forest of griffins ruling the lower skies; Unnoticed and intimidated by their forms, she runs restlessly to find a drier area, but quieter. As she got deeper; monsters in human forms carry boxes, breads, gifts, tools, anything in their feathered-or-scaled wings. Phoenixes that can control their fire off of their wings not to burn the crates, dragons that carry things twice or thrice their size... Helia hid in a tiny corner, trembling from all these monsters, for three people to notice her; One called her strange and reported to the chief, another called her cute and donated some bread for her to eat. Third, a looming figure in two giant horns; Damian, the dragon chief of this village came to pick her up after he heard these reports, but the child was too scared she decided to stay in this dark corner.
This story represents a complicated story of two awkwardly misunderstood creatures, until they manage to make a found family of two and bond together until they discover eachother’s worlds through communication and patience... And most importantly: Love!
Soon, Helia, from a once-colorless child in a grey city learns proper happiness and harmony from a place of no technology but full of life! Damian would learn how to be open as well and show Helia the people he trusts, until she learns to make new friends in her journey to find back her colors.
Genre: Contains sad themes, Childhood trauma/Wounded childhood, Somewhat slice-of-life, Emotional character growth, Heartwarming story, father figure character (found family).
The smell of gas is completely covered by the smell of wet earth and colder air; It is raining, the sound of droplets hitting the hats or pats of an umbrella’s plastic wing.
"Good bye!"
"See you tommorrow!"
Children and friends leaving to their parents’ side as they wave little goodbyes to eachoter.
Helia, a name not commonly found in a place with tall towers of gray and glass. Braided hair in brown, tiny fingers fidgeting with the fluffy end, eyes sparkling from the carwindow’s reflection; on another side, LED store lights: in reds, greens, blues! Stores with colorful clothes, toys, or cosmetics from shades from A to Z.
"Really? Is that what she asked?"
"Heh, no. She wouldn’t do such a thing."
Helia’s dad argued on the phone while driving, not knowing what is it about. she’s often told "Don’t worry about it, you won’t understand." Maybe it’s true, so by time the child stopped caring about any arguments between adults. But, when you sneak in too much...
"Mmh. Is that so?"
_"Helia."
The dad called, after letting out an exhausted sigh.
_"Yes, papa?"
_"Did you really want to attend to art class?"
Helia’s eyes brightened, the smile shined. She thought, for once, her dream was finally heard after finally speaking up—
_"Y-Yeah, papa!"
_"No."
"...Huh?"
_"You already have pencils and papers at home, though I’d prefer if you’d be a good girl and do your math revision."
_"Oh..."
She didn’t argue. At eight, silenced, she looks down.
_"...Okay, papa."
_"Good. Besides, have you been reading any books?"
The smile quickly came back,
_"Yeah! I loved—"
_"Escuse me, I didn't mean fantasy books. What about history books? They’re real, it’s more interesting."
...Then her face drooped once more.
_"...Oh."
_"Helia, this is for your own good. Remind me how much you’ve got in your history test?"
_"Uh..."
The dad sighs, and stops near a market.
_"And geography?"
Silence from the child. The dad answers, he had expected this after all.
_"Below average, right. I’m getting you the books that might help with this. I’m making sure that you’ll actually read them."
He gets out the car, and head to the market. Meanwhile, Helia is left staring at her own fingers; a chunk of hair got stuck between them, she hasn’t realized how tight she’ve been gripping...
Maybe it’s luck, maybe it was a bad timing.
"Maybe... It’s okay."
At eight, she comforts herself, because others won't really listen.
"Maybe I’ll have good luck when I ask again in the holidays!"
She looks aside, at the car window in the place the dad has left to. The market... The lights are white, blank notebooks and black pens for study. White papers, gray covers, transparent glass door...
It’s only bright, but no colour.
"Oh, papers! They could be used for drawing."
Can you really find color even in a black and white place?
"Good thing I have color pencils at home!"
The sky’s getting dark faster on a winter night, the dark hue of blue turned to a darker shade of gray because of the clouds and rain. Cars passing by in white or black metals, gray tires, black roads in white lines, a muddy pond of water that people in thick boots walk on, the color’s not even visible despite all that street lights...
"I wanna jump on these! Splash, splash, splaaash!!!"
Helia giggles to herself, alone in the car as she imagines—if only she could go out and actually test her own tiny boots on the colorless water... But if she can’t, she imagines! "Isn’t it just as fun?"
The dad comes back, reach to his car and knock on Helia’s side of the window. She opens it, he gives her a white plastic bag of multiple gray-covered books, of titles either "Lesson summary" this, "exercise chain" that...
The question is, would a child be allowed to play and have fun in a strict program? It’s like forcing the color pink out of a yinyang sign, but the only thing you’ll get is the gray disguised as a color in fake.
The child tries so hard not to be pessimistic, it nearly became a habit. She’ve read books of princesses with bad families and still found a happily ever after! Mean, fire-breathing dragons with scary claws gets to be friends with children of the village and everyone finds peace by sharing treats and cakes! She learned that, no matter what, there’s always hope—even when it looks invisible!
Is it mature thinking, or is it a helplessly clingy positivity, that turns into fake hope?
_"THIS—MOTHERF#CKING CAR!"
Startled after a loud press on the horn, and a violent yell from her dad—Tiny heartbeats quicken, when the child has nothing to hold on in chaos she holds on her braid, she learned not to care for arguments... So she tries ignoring the yell despite the fear.
But...
Worry creeping, she couldn't help but seek reassurance of safety... Loudness is always intimidating for any child possible, not only Helia.
_"...Da?"
The sound came small, shaky, barely audible. Scared to provoke him even more...
_"Not now, kid. You can clearly see I’m concentrating here!"
...But no matter the sound, loud or low, it’s still triggering. Your fears don’t matter unless the luck and timing says so.
But what scares Helia most in anger, is that people often lose control over themselves. They use violence, words, actions, carelessness; Proof is the heavy gripping on the steering wheel, especially when it spins too much—
—And followed by the crash of two vehicles slipping off the rainy wet road, the people inside barely survived.
...
...And followed by the sound of a beeping machine in a quieter room, a steady rhythm, a dizzy, blurry vision...
Helia opens her eyes. It’s quiet. Too quiet. The beeping continues, her body... She can’t move. Nor feel anything. The vision still blurry.
Unknowing what to think. Unknowing what to process.
She thinks it’s a dream; half-awake, feels real, like every nightmare she woke up screaming from. But this time, she woke up paralyzed.
A distant, muffled voice...
Another argument.
Just... When will the anger stop?
When will frustration turn into forgiveness?
When will bad moments turn into... Hope? Just like the princess? Just like the village and the dragon in fairytales?
She can’t see, but everything is in white.
She hears the crack of the door as it opens, then the figure walks to her direction... A voice, softer, kinder, unfamiliar.
_"I’m sorry about your tragedy, little one. Here, we bought every children in need a gift while they rest."
A gift?
Helia cannot move her lips either.
She doesn’t know what this paralysis is.
All she can see is a cutesy round, soft thing in hold as the kind-voiced figure places it in her hands; She feels the pressure. Half-aware, but also not.
She can’t ask questions. She can’t see to know where she is. She can’t even mutter a "thank you", something she was taught that it is nice to say when someone gives you a gift.
The loud muffles continue.
The kind voice whispers a goodbye, and makes the sound of a quietly shutting door. The opposite of an angrily slammed one.
After that, even whitout moving, the child’s unprocessed thoughts chose to focus on the soft textured gift.
Could be a plushie. Could be a fluffy ball. Could be a Puppy!
...No. It’s breathless, and there is no use imagining the unrealistic.
Perhaps, there is no use imagining anymore.
So instead, there is only use to distract her thoughts from the loudness... And again, like everytime, think to the tiniest calm of peace when you try so hard not to care for arguments...
Only eight years old. "You’ll understand when you grow up".
But what will happen, when despite all this, sometimes you’re just forced to grow up too early?
The child closes her eyes.
Too heavy, still tired, still dizzy.
And drift, to the darkness of long exhaust and surreal dreams...
Okay so... usually in my old habits, between study times I either rest playing a game or lay down and listen to music. (until depression came and I stopped playing games, only soaked in music almost 24/7.)
but ever since I decided to change my habits, I feel REALLY uncomfortable these days to even stay on bed doing nothing too long, listening to music alone whitout doing anything felt intoxicating.
So... Here came drawing motivation to possess me. (I had writing motivation just last month, now it's replaced with another form of art..Really, better than nothing.)
And among many unfinished artworks (about 4 or smth)
I have these two I’ve been working on on at the same time; (by this I mean I keep coming back and forth in one of them to slowly progress in them.)
Picture on the left: Goru. Standing in his familiar Rainforest home whom his sister rules; Lyrrhenis.
(OC’s detail will be spoken once I finish Goru and... also his sis, Xal.)
I can’t believe just lining and coloring took me 7 hours. welp, rendering and furring left!! seriously don't let me even begin thinking about the background... I think i’d do it in a different canvas if I plan to use it multiple times to save time. BECAUSE I HAVE ALOT OF OCS!! AND I WANNA DRAW EM ALL!!
Picture on the right: Wendy, Illustration idea shown on "ALT", also purposed to have a psychological symbolism when I finish it, unique background necessary.
btw so far this Pic now took me 5 hours.
Wendy is also an OC from my last year’s unfinished book project Tears, Grief, Hope !! she takes an important part in the book, and the future-to-be-finished Illustration might show important details about her. I’m so excited to finish it!!! I’m also happy that my digital painting artstyle is improving through her!! I hope to dear God I get no problems trying a detailed background onto this...
Also, I hope you don't mind me doing this since it’s been so long since I last wrote a chapter and these must probably be wayy pushed back in my blog;
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