I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

Get your ducks in a row. Now get them in a circle. Get them in a Socratic seminar with that duck in the middle. Get them in a mosh pit. Get them moshing. Get them moshing.

No midroll ads and it’s just a polite man playing hitman with meditative music in the background this is actually just insane enough to be my new favorite thing to fall asleep to

“Now I will drop this man here and quietly snap his neck. The Mackerel claims its first victim” okay I’m here for life.