Vitiligo Research Foundation

anecdotal / podcast w/ aaron tsuru 15.08.16 on dawn by rose mcgowan, movies vs tv, racism, and traveling to brazil a conversation between jesi & me

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Jesi is back from Brazil and we popped a squat in our Brooklyn makeshift DIY studio to chat about her trip, but first she had us watch Dawn by Rose McGowan and we ended up talking about that, sexism in movies, the state of movies vs TV, racism, and, of course, her trip to Brazil (finally).

Watch Dawn here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ41Y2Gp4io - it’s really good!

Hear our first convo with Jesi here - Aarontsuru – Anecdotal-podcast-150709-on-vitiligo-a-conversation-between-jesi-me

So, I went to my local Zaxby’s drive thru this evening for dinner. I’m sometimes a bit self conscious about handing my money to the worker at the window because of my hands. I have vitiligo, and have no color on the tips of my fingers.  I also have spots on my hands.  Since the small spots on my face are easily covered with makeup, most people don’t notice until…I have to hand them something.

So, anyway, I hand my debit card to the employee, and she says, “Hey, I don’t mean to offend, but do you have vitiligo?” I explain I’m not offended, and yes, I do.  She tells me that her Mom just found out she has it, and is having a hard time. She said her Mom gets upset every time she notices a new spot.

I know that feeling. I’ve had Vitiligo for 7 years, and the first 3 were terrible.  I wore long sleeves in the summer to cover my white elbows. Heavy makeup on the backs on my hands.  Shopped online and used self checkout at the grocery store to avoid stares. Had a kid run away from me after he saw my hands Cried for days.  But, soon, I began to forget that the spots were there.  People were far more understanding than I gave them credit for. Many, not understanding the disorder, thought I was in pain (I’m not). I began to love me again.  All of me. Spots and all.

I wish I could have spoke to the Zaxby’s cashier’s mom. Wish I could tell her that it won’t always be like this. That she’ll still feel different, but, with time, she won’t feel odd. That there are actually many like her, ready to give her love and support. I wish I could have told her what I wished someone would have told me 7 years ago, when I first noticed the weird spot between my right thumb and forefinger, and that the inside of my lips seemed much lighter than usual: That I was still beautiful, and I was still me. 

He addresses many rumors and politely tells her they’re bull. When Oprah asked Michael about his skin, and why it’s getting lighter, he says that he has vitiligo, a disease that destroys skin pigmentation, and that he is a proud black man. And he wasn’t pleased with a white boy playing kid Michael (I don’t remember what it was for, something something Pepsi commercial)

While Oprah had no business asking him about his sex life, you can tell he was embarrassed, and made a shy nervous smile (god he’s cute) and told her that he doesn’t like talking about it. (Oprah asks if he’s a virgin, Michael says in a completely different interview that all of his kids are his own, Prince and Paris were made via natural conception, you know what that means. This was before he had kids.)

She asked him about his experiences with being a child star, she also asks him to dance for her and sing acapella (was that MJ or was that God I can’t tell) he can also beatbox like hell

Michael talks about his love for children, and how he tries to imitate jesus by being childlike. He looks at the faces of children and sees the faces of God.

AND TWENTY-EIGHT MINUTES, THIRTY SECONDS INTO THE INTERVIEW, OPRAH ASKS HIM WHY HE GRABS HIS CROTCH. I LOST IT. He says that as a dancer you don’t really think about it. I can believe that, but in the back of my head lays a “sure Michael, sure.”