Back in Black

The Shield Bearers is... not happening. Ever. All my shield bearer friends have either moved on and stopped talking to me, or we’ve had a falling out. It’s sad, but the age of the shield bearers is long over.

The Old World, the fic I talked about writing is... still around! It’s not finished, there’s a LOT that still needs fleshed out, but it is there! I don’t know if I’ll ever do anything with it ever again, but maybe it’ll resurface. 

Takashi Shirogane

2288-2314

And the flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

There wasn’t any body. Just a gravestone added to a long line of fallen Garrison members. Just another stone.

But he wasn’t just another stone. This was Shiro. Shiro, my best friend, the professor who had silly test answers, the Garrison pilot who outshone everyone else despite his… difficulties. 

My therapist told me it would take time to process his death. It was too recent a discovery, the emotions too raw. I know I need to acknowledge he’s… gone… but it doesn’t seem… right. It just didn’t seem like he was actually gone. I would be able to feel him being gone… wouldn’t I…?

I don’t know what time it is. I know everyone else left, after the priest had his last words to say. Even Adam couldn’t stay, but who could blame him? After the way he treated Shiro, and now he’d never get a chance to say goodbye or reconcile. 

I was still sitting here when the rain started. It turned the upturned ground into mud, dirt and water coming together to form something greater than the two of them could ever be alone. The element of ancient buildings and great civilizations sat in front of a tombstone. I thought maybe it would be nice to be able to rebuild Shiro, too, from the ground up.

I couldn’t cry. I hadn’t been able to since I heard the news from my commander. My heart, my eyes, felt so heavy, but nothing would fall from them, like some sort of emotional blockage. Something was starting to hit different, though, looking at the words in front of me. My nose started running. 

I really was never going to see my best friend again, was I?

“Shiro.”

Brown eyes looked up from the classwork in front of him. He looked so tired, but he still sat up, giving a strained smile. “Asher. Cody. Whatever you’re going by today.”

I forced a small smile, stepping into the classroom. “Whatever you’ll call me,” I replied, grabbing a chair from one of the students’ desks and dragging it in front of his professor’s desk. I sat down, pulling one of the papers he was grading over to me. “Pop quiz? That’s unlike you.”

“Well, you know, normally I wouldn’t.” His voice was soft, and he dropped his pen in favor of clasping his hands together. “But this class has been particularly difficult. I thought maybe it’d help shake them into paying attention and studying more, doing the homework…”

I nodded. “You have a typo.”

“What?!” he gasped, grabbing the paper from me and looking over it frantically. He looked back up to my smile, his brows furrowing together. “Oh, ha-ha.”

My smile spread into a grin. “Perfectionist.”

He sighed, dropping the paper, his elbow on the desk and his head in his hand. He looked down over the papers, a storm brewing in his chocolate eyes.

It was quiet for a moment, as I watched his face, searching for something. I don’t know what I was looking for.

Finally, I spoke. “Keith told me about your conversation with Admiral Sanda.”

Shiro let out an even bigger sigh. “Yeah, he’s not super happy with me. I told him about the BMD. Sort of…”

I crossed my arms, leaning back into my seat. “Well, I had to give him the actual name of it,” I countered. “And I can’t even pronounce the damn thing, or remember more than the acronym. I had to search it online again. B…. Becker Musc-Muscular D… Dystrophy…? See, I can’t even remember it after saying it no more than an hour ago.”

“And you’re the one with the medical degree,” Shiro mused.

“No no no!” I leaned forward, lifting a finger into the air. “I have a social degree, Human Development and Family Studies.”

“Human Development is medical,” Shiro countered.

“...sort of.” I slouched back into the seat. “It’s more social…” I shook my head. “Look at me, getting into an argument with you about names and shit and that’s not even what I came to talk about.”

“It wasn’t an argument,” Shiro defended, his hands returning to clasp in front of him.

I waved it off. “You knew I would come talk to you about this eventually.”

Shiro hung his head. “Nobody wants me on this mission,” he confessed. “First Iverson tries to get Admiral Sanda to convince Holt to drop me from the mission, and then Adam tells me he won’t be here when I get back.”

I reached out, putting my hand over Shiro’s hands, still folded together. “Shiro, you and I both know Adam talks a lot of shit, but he’s… He’s always there, in the end.”

“Not this time,” Shiro scoffed. “I know it, this really was the last time.”

I was quiet for a minute. Honestly, I hated myself for the hope that swelled in my chest, the excitement that Shiro was finally out of this relationship. But I knew that was selfish, and I held my tongue. I felt my face heat up, hoping that my emotions weren’t that obvious to any other observer. Though Shiro wasn’t looking at me, still drilling holes into the quizzes scattered over the desk.

I sighed, squeezing his hands. “What do you want to do?” I asked.

Shiro looked up at me, finally. “What do you mean?”

“What do you want to do?” I repeated. “Go make things up with Adam? Go on the mission? What do you want to do?”

He looked at me blankly, the wheels turning in his mind. It took a short moment before his eyebrows furrowed and that determination came back into his eyes. “I’m going on that mission, Asher. No one is going to stop me. I have to do it.”

“Then do it,” I replied simply. “No one can stop you.” I smiled, my other hand coming to rest on top of his and mine. “This is the most important thing in the world to you, I know. I’ll still be here when you get back. And hey, maybe it’ll get Adam to get his head out of his ass.”

Shiro gave me a small smile. His hands flipped over, taking my own and giving them a small squeeze. “I’m glad my best friend is a therapist,” he joked. “I don’t know who else I’d talk to about this.”

“Not a therapist yet, maybe not ever. But I will be your best friend.” I gave his hands a squeeze back, my heart beating in my throat. “How about you go do something to calm yourself down? I’ll grade these quizzes for you.”

“Asher, no, it’s my class, and I gave the pop quiz.”

“Oh shut up. I have your answer key somewhere in this mess, I’m sure. I’ll do fine, and I’ll come get you if I have any questions. You need to destress, everyone’s been beating you down today. Take some time to take care of you.” 

Shiro sighed, before finally sitting up, pulling his hands away. “I guess you won’t let me grade these in peace,” he teased. “I guess I could use a snack.”

“Then go eat!” I grabbed the pen he was using, and started searching for the answer key. “I’ll be here for a bit, so if you need me, you know where to find me.”

He nodded, getting up and walking to the door. He stopped and looked back. “Asher?”

I lifted my head up, eyes inquisitive. “Yeah?”

“...thanks.” Shiro gave me a smile. Really genuine. Then he opened the door and left.

I sighed, looking down at the quizzes. God knows how much I would miss him while he was on this mission. But he needed to do this. I understood that. I just hoped nothing bad would happen.

“What are you still doing here?” 

I jumped, startled out of my thoughts. The gentle warm colors of the Garrison classroom faded into the greys of the rainy day. Turning my head, there stood Katie, still in the black dress she wore today.

I blinked. I didn’t realize someone else would be here. “Um… what?”

“Everyone else left like, half an hour ago,” she pointed out. “Even Adam left. What are you still doing here? And sitting in the mud?”

I looked down, noticing that my Garrison uniform pants were stained with mud from the ground under me. I sighed, standing up, resisting the urge to rub my ass. I knew it wouldn’t do any good, it would probably just make the mess worse. “And what about you, Katie?” I asked, my voice tired. “Did they finish with your dad and brother?”

Katie nodded, looking away for a moment, then back to me. “They finished Shiro’s.”

“Yeah, well,” I mused, looking back at the tombstone. “Let’s just say Shiro and I have unfinished business. I wasn’t ready to leave yet…”

“It doesn’t seem real,” she said. 

“No, it doesn’t,” I agreed, shaking my head. “It’s like, just a few months ago, he was here, and he should be coming back in a few months. It feels like theres this entire… process that got interrupted. And they insist he’s dead, but…” I hesitated, but continued. “It just doesn’t feel real. I feel like I would know somehow if he died. I mean, he was my…” He was the love of my life. “He was my best friend…”

“He talked about you a lot,” Katie commented, stepping closer to me. “Shiro said if I ever needed anyone, I could always look for Asher.” 

I gave a weak smile. “I doubt that, but…”

“No, really,” she insisted. “That’s why I’m glad you’re still here.”

My processing was a bit slow given everything that happened, so it was quiet for a few minutes before it clicked. “Wait, what do you mean you’re glad I’m still here?”

“I need your help,” Katie said, stepping forward again, a light coming into her eyes. “I need your help proving that they’re still out there.”

“They?”

“My brother and dad. And Shiro.”

Shiro? Still out there? It was a nice thought. It fit my feelings. But… “We can’t deny it, Katie,” I insisted, though there wasn’t any conviction behind my words. “We can't just pretend they’re…” alive?

“You know Shiro, Asher. You know Shiro. He would never crash, he wouldn’t make a fatal pilot error. You know that.” 

I was silent, contemplating her words. Katie had a point, Shiro was an incredibly talented pilot. How could he make an error so bad that the entire flight went missing? An error that was so severe, that they had no choice but to declare the missing crew dead?

I had another question. “Why are you telling me this? Why not Adam?”

“I tried,” she admitted. “But he said Shiro was dead. He said something like this was inevitable.” 

Rage bubbled up in my chest. “That asshole!” I spat before I could stop myself. “Four years with Shiro for what? For him to turn his back on Shiro the minute he’s gone? To just forget him?!” I stopped, putting a hand on my chest, looking up at the sky. I took a deep breath, then mumbled, “I’m sorry, I’m just… Well, Adam and I never did get along.”

“Shiro’s known you for longer,” Katie pointed out. “Adam was probably insecure about it.”

I snorted. “Like he had anything to worry about,” I bitched. “Shiro was head over heels for him. ‘Adam did this, Adam did that!’ God, I was so sick of it. And Adam couldn’t pull his thick head out of his ass long enough to see how much Shiro adored him.”

“Listen,” Katie interrupted the moment I took a breath. “I can prove that they’re still out there. I can help you find Shiro, and you can help me find my family. I just need your help.”

I fought with myself. Could Katie really help me find Shiro? Could I see him again? Was it true that somehow, somewhere out there, Shiro really was alive? God, I wanted to believe it so bad. I wanted to see him so badly, to tell him how much I missed him, how in love I was-

I shook my head, looking down, but I couldn’t stop myself. I looked up at Katie, determination setting in. “Just tell me how. Tell me how to help.”

I know I could have lost my job for this, but I didn’t care. Shiro was more important. Shiro was always more important. I mean, Matt and Dr. Holt were important too, I guess, but…

I had my hand on Katie’s back, making sure she kept the black hood up. My oversized hoodie was even bigger on her. It was comical, but if I wasn’t leading her, she probably would have run into something.

I navigated through the Garrison hallways, calling out cheerful greetings to the people passing me by. I hoped I wasn’t looking too suspicious.

Everything was going fine. “Iverson’s office is just in the next hallway,” I whispered to her. “Just another turn-”

I almost ran right into her. Ugh, this bitch again. “Asher!” she exclaimed in surprise.

I forced a smile. “Linday!” I replied. “Hey!”

“What are you doing? Don’t you have a class soon?” she asked. Then her big blue eyes landed on Katie. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, this is, uh…” I struggled to come up with a name, thinking we should have planned this out before. “Th-This is my nephew, uh, Pidge! They’re just… I was just going to introduce them to Iverson! They want to join the Garrison this next semester!”

“Oh!” Lindsay said, brushing her long ginger hair back. “Well, Iverson is at a meeting right now.”

“Oh, right!” I faked. “I totally forgot about that!” Well, I’ll just, uh, show them around some more!” I pushed Katie past Linday. “Come on, I’ll show you the simulators!”

Lindsay looked confused and curious, but called out “Okay, bye!” before continuing down the hall. 

When she was far enough away, I let out a relieved sigh. “Thank God,” I breathed.

“Who was that?” Katie whispered. 

“An old ex,” I hissed. “She’s awful. Come on, that’s Iverson’s office.”

I walked up to the keypad, pulling out the small slip of paper I kept in my pocket. “Let’s see,” I murmured, glancing between the keypad and the paper. “Four five six seven nine nine two one.” I put the numbers in as I said them, and when I finished, the door slid open. “There.” I turned to Katie, shoving the paper back in my pocket. “Be quick, and don’t stay too long,” I told her. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

Katie nodded, pulling the hoodie off. “Got it.” She handed my hoodie back to me. “I won’t let anyone know you let me in.”

I nodded. “Stay safe.” I gave her a pat on the shoulder before walking past her, heading to the class I was supposed to be teaching.

It felt like a swarm of bees were in my chest, my heart pounding in nervousness. I felt like I was sweating buckets. If Katie really could find some evidence, some proof that Shiro and Dr. Holt and Matt were still out there… 

Honestly, I didn’t know what we would even do with that mission. But I was determined to find Shiro, no matter what the cost was. 

A small smile curled my lips. For Shiro, I’d steal one of those rockets, and fly the entire solar system just to get him back home.

I climbed out of the rover, looking up at the milky red and orange skies. The sun would be setting soon, and before I knew it, a whole sky full of stars would stretch over my head, out into the galaxies beyond. 

“That there is Hercules,” he said, pointing up into the heavens. “That’s his arm, and his torso. And over there, that’s Corona Borealis…”

“Wait, wait, wait,” I giggled. “I still haven’t found Hercules!”

Shiro grinned at me. “I just pointed right at it!”

“But I can’t see it!”

We both burst into more giggles, laying on the roof of the Garrison. I felt like my face was going to tear, stretched too far from laughing too much. The night was warm, and our jackets were bunched under our heads, pillowing us from the roof’s concrete floor. 

I looked over at him, a gentle smile on my lips. I was in awe of that gorgeous smile he always had, brown eyes black in the darkness, staring up into the sky. It’s like every piece of him wanted to be up in the endless voids of space. His hands rested on his stomach, his black hair shifting as a slight breeze brushed over him. He was beautiful, there was no doubt.

I stared at him silently. I wished so badly I could tell him, that I had the ability and opportunity to tell him what I felt since we were still in school ourselves. I wished I had a way to let him know just how much he meant to me. That I was hopelessly in love-

“I wish Adam was here,” Shiro interrupted my thoughts. “He never just wants to appreciate the stars.”

I sighed, looking back up at the stars. I felt like I might cry, but the tears wouldn’t come, even if I wanted them to. “It’s never really been his interest,” I murmured. “You know that…”

“Yeah, I just…” he sighed. “I wish sometimes he put as much effort in my interests as I do his.”

“You know Adam’s never really been interested in doing that,” I came to his defense again. “And he doesn’t really care if you’re there for his interests, either. It’s just… not in his nature.” 

Shiro fell silent, staring up at the stars. 

I looked at the stars, too, but I was constantly glancing at heaven. 

Tearing my eyes away from the sky, I started walking up to the small cabin out in the middle of the desert. In front of the door, I knocked. Now, I didn’t really know if he’d be there, but…

The door creaked open, showing a dark crack. I smiled and waved, and it opened further, revealing Keith’s messy black hair and purple eyes.

“Do you have any news?” he asked, stepping aside. “Anything about Shiro?”

I walked inside, glancing around. Things here were still the same. “Nothing we haven’t heard before,” I said. “Katie’s been looking, but… the Garrison hasn’t been. There’s nothing new from them. And you know, Katie’s technology is good, but… it’s not theirs.”

Keith sighed, closing the door. “Then… why are you here?”

I held up the bag in my hand. “I figured you could use a break from ramen and instant mac and cheese,” I said. “Chinese takeout. I got your favorites.” 

He gave me a small smile. Keith hasn’t given a real smile since Shiro was still around. “Cool. I’ll get some plates.”

I followed Keith into the kitchen. “Have you been doing okay?” I asked. “You know I worry about you being all alone out here. I wish I could have kept you in the Garrison…”

“I didn’t want to stay there.” Keith got two plates from the cupboards, coming over to the kitchen table and setting them down. “Not when Shiro was gone.”

I sat down, pulling the takeout cartons from the bag. “I know, but I promised Shiro I’d keep an eye on you, and now you’re all the way out here.”

“I’m fine,” Keith insisted, sitting down in the chair next to me. 

“That doesn’t stop me from worrying.”

We sat in silence, putting food on our plates and taking the first bites. It’d been awhile since I treated myself to lo mein, and after a day full of classes, I was starving. 

I was interrupted by Keith. “Why was Shiro with Adam?”

I blinked in surprise. “Um, he loves Adam,” I said. “Isn’t that obvious…?”

“No, I know!” Keith interrupted. “I know he loves Adam, but you’re his best friend. And you were always the one who was there for him, not Adam.”

Oh, God, Keith figured me out, didn’t he? A blush rose up my neck and into my cheeks. “Keith, that’s what friends do.”

“I wouldn’t know. But I know how you always looked at Shiro.”

“God, I hope you’re the only one,” I muttered. “That would be so embarassing, if Shiro knows…” I shoved another fork full of lo mein into my mouth, focusing on chewing instead of what Keith was saying. 

“I found something new.” 

Thankful at the change of subject, I swallowed my noodles, setting the fork down. “What did you find now?” I asked, rubbing at my lips with my jacket sleeve. “Stumbling through the wilderness?”

“Lion carvings,” he replied.

“Lion carvings?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, getting up and walking away from the table. I watched as he walked over to that board on his wall, taking down a few photos, before walking back over to me. “There was this cave,” he explained, laying the pictures on the table, “just full of them.”

I examined the photos, my curiosity peaked. “Actual lion carvings.” Disbelief was heavy in my tone. “Carvings of lions. In a cave. Cave lion carvings.”

“Do you think some ancient civilization put them there?” He asked. 

“I’ve never heard of a civilization that would do that, not out here,” I replied, picking up one of the photos. “And these carvings are like anything I’ve ever studied before. See, I took a lot of art history classes, but no ancient civilization I was taught of ever had this kind of style.”

“Maybe we found something new,” Keith suggested.

“Yeah,” I said absently. “Just maybe…”

Today was the day. It’d been a year. A year and we… still didn’t know.

If it wasn’t for Katie, I definitely would have given up by now. I would have thrown in the towel. I think even Keith was starting to lose hope of ever seeing his adopted brother again. I don’t blame him. It hadn’t been just another year, it had been a hard year. 

But still, I know that if it had been me piloting that mission, if I was the one lost in space… Shiro wouldn’t have given up on me. No one, not even Adam, could have talked him out of believing in me. That was just the kind of guy Shiro was. He always had to be the one to help others, he always saw that spark in other people and pulled it out of them.

I smiled, looking down at the photo in my hands. God, I missed those days, I missed him…

“Happy birthday!” 

Shiro jumped in surprise, before laughing. “Oh, God, a surprise party?” he exclaimed. “Who set this up?”

“I did!” I jumped up, hand in the air. “Well, it was my idea.” I gestured towards Adam. “And he helped!”

“Of course I did,” Adam said fondly, stepping forward to pull Shiro close. “Especially this year, when you actually have a birthday.” He gave Shiro a short kiss, and I tried not to look away, despite my growing jealousy.

“Yeah, I guess it is February 29th, isn’t it?” Shiro asked, looking around at everyone. “Wow, I can’t believe this!” 

“Well, believe it!” I said, walking over. “Come on! We got you a cake, presents, the whole shebang!”

“Well, if it was your idea, of course it is,” Shiro teased. He moved away from Adam, pulling me into a hug. “Thank you, Cody.”

I squeezed him as tight as I could. I certainly didn’t have the muscle he did. “It’s no problem, Shiro.”

He pulled back, a bright smile on his face. “Okay, so cake first,” he decided, turning towards the table. “Then we can do presents.”

“I baked the cake!” Adam declared. 

“Well, you’re the only one who can make anything in this relationship,” I teased the two of them. “Shiro burns everything!” 

“Not everything!” Shiro gasped in mock offense. “I can make myself mac and cheese!” 

“Instant mac and cheese,” I corrected. “And sometimes, you still manage to burn that.”

“Alright, alright!” He waved his hands. “We get it, you’re my best friend, and you’ve seen me burn mac and cheese since we were sixteen. Everyone here knows.”

I smiled, pulling the chair at the head of the table out. “Come sit down,” I insisted. “It’s time to celebrate you.”

“Sit down!” Adam insisted, pushing Shiro over to his seat.

“I’m working on it!” Shiro laughed, sitting down.

“Come on, let’s get a photo with you guys!” Jeff said, holding up a camera. “Say ‘leap year!’”

“Leap year!” Adam, Shiro, and I called out.

It was such a warm memory. Adam with his arm around Shiro’s shoulders, and me, one hand on Shiro’s shoulder, the other holding up a peace sign. All three of us looked happy, even Adam was giving a warm smile. 

I cursed myself for not taking more photos. I wish I had more pictures of him, of us. I was so insecure, I didn’t realize that one day, all I might have left are pictures. I didn’t realize…

I sighed, my hand laying on the desk, my head hanging. 

It’d been a year… 

Every moment, every bit of quiet, everything missed him. The sky didn’t have the same colors, no songs sounded the same. Everything without Shiro, it was…

“Professor Hailing.”

My head snapped up, eyes looking onto Jeff. His green eyes looked so intense, and worry filled my veins. “What is it?” I asked. 

“Admiral Nnadi needs to see you,” Jeff said.

I got up from my desk, laying the picture down. “What’s going on?” I asked, walking over to join him as we walked out of my office. “Do they need another psych consult?”

“...sort of,” he replied, looking uneasy. “We… We’ve had… I guess its an extraterrestrial landing.” 

Confusion flooded my veins. “Extraterrestrial landing?” I echoed. “You’re telling me an alien landed on Earth?” 

“We think so,” he said, leading me into the garage. “Not that far from the Garrison, either. They haven’t cracked open the vessel yet, but the readings…” 

I climbed into the rover, buckling in, and we were off. The desert raced by outside the window. “What do we know?”

“Very little. Not long after curfew, at about 2120, something crash landed about four kilometers from the Garrison.”

“Four kilometers?” I echoed. “That’s… that’s not far!”

“I know.” He nodded. “That’s it there.” 

I looked, and a cold feeling of dread drowned me as I looked upon the alien spacecraft. Its jagged edges, its odd purple coloring. It was so… inhuman. I guess it would have been, but… everything about it just seemed evil. 

Jeff parked the rover, and we climbed out, walking over to Admiral Nnadi. “What’s going on?” I asked, preparing myself to evaluate an actual extraterrestrial. 

“You’re going to want to see this,” she replied, seeming troubled. She led up into the white facility set up not far from the spacecraft. “You won’t believe who was in that spaceship.”

I was confused, but I pulled on the hazard suit. I was shown into the make-shift facility, and took a breath before walking in. And then, suddenly, the voice from my dreams became clear to me. “Let me go! You have to unpin me!” 

My eyes widened, and I rushed into the facility, stopping just inside the doorway. 

It felt unreal. Everything had, to be fair, but this… He was just laying there. Broken, bruised, a scar torn across the bridge of his nose, and his bangs… were white? His arm was replaced by… some sort of prosthetic. 

But still, this was Takashi Shirogane. It was still Shiro.

“Shiro,” I breathed, my feet heavy as they took steps towards him.

His eyes were wild when they focused on me. “Who are you?!” he gasped, not recognizing me under the suit. “Guys, please, you have to tell them, you have to let me go!”

The two scientists with me were preparing tools and a syringe. It felt so dangerous, so out of place. Everything about this was so wrong. 

“Shiro, you have to calm down,” I urged him. “We need you to stay calm.” 

He looked scared at me, then he looked Iverson, in full quarantine gear, walking up beside me, panic filling his eyes again. “Hey! What are you doing?!” he cried out, struggling against the binds that held him to the table.

“Calm down, Shiro,” Iverson commanded. “We just need to keep you quarantined until we run some tests on you.”

“What tests?” I asked Iverson, knowing I wouldn’t like the answer. 

We were both interrupted by Shiro. “You have to listen to me!” he grunted, pulling against his restraints. “They destroy worlds!”

Confused, I started, “Shiro, what are you-”

“Aliens are coming!” he cried, struggling harder. 

“Aliens?” I repeated, flabbergasted. 

“Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” Iverson asked, cutting me out of the conversation.

“I don’t know,” Shiro snapped. “Months? Years? Look, there’s no time. Aliens are coming here for a weapon. They’re probably on their way. They’ll destroy us. We have to find Voltron!”

“Sir, take a look at this,” one of the scientists said, moving beside Iverson. They used a pen to point down at Shiro’s right arm. “It appears his arm has been replaced with a cyborg prosthetic.” 

“Put him under until we know what that thing can do,” Iverson demanded. 

“No, no no, no, don’t put me under!” Shiro yelled. “No! There’s no time!” 

“Iverson, this is a bad idea,” I insisted, grabbing Iverson’s arm.

“Hailing, back off!” Iverson growled. “You’re here for a psych eval, and that’s it! Do not let your personal feelings get in the way of this operation!” 

“You are psychologically distressing him!” I snapped back. “If you’re going to invite me to do my job, then listen to me!” 

“Get out of here!” Iverson yelled, stepping towards me as I stepped back away from him. “We don’t need you as long as he’s unconscious!”

“I’m not leaving him!” I yelled. “You are causing distress to an already distressed patient-”

We were both cut off as explosions echoed in the distance, but close enough to shake all of us, and the entire temporary facility. 

“What in the hell?!” one of the scientists cried out.

“That doesn’t matter!” Iverson bellowed. “Get back to work! And you!” he turned back to me. “You need to leave, Hailing!” 

“You have no idea what you’re doing!” I growled back. “You are just causing more problems by putting him under!”

“That is none of your concern!” Iverson said. “You seem to be too clouded by your friendship with Shiro to follow orders!”

“That’s not what worries me!” I defended myself. 

“These readings are off the charts!” 

Iverson and I both turned to look at the scientist, before hearing the doors sliding open, turning to look at who was there.

“Keith!” I exclaimed, his eyes narrowing at all of us. 

“Hey!” Iverson snapped, rushing forward with the two scientists.

I knew Hell was coming as Keith got into a fighting stance, raising up his fists. Punching the first scientist so hard he slammed into the standing tray, knocking medical equipment to the ground. He grabbed the other, slamming him over the medical table. Iverson came for him, only to be punched into the table, knocked unconscious and falling to the floor.

I ripped off my hood, showing Keith it was just me, and he gave me a small nod before jumping over Iverson to get a look at who was on the table. I walked up to the other side as Keith ripped his mask off, taking Shiro’s chin in his hand and turning him towards him. Shiro let out a groan.

“Shiro?!” Keith gasped.

“We have to get him out of here,” I interrupted his shock.

Keith nodded, taking his knife and cutting the restraints. He wrapped Shiro’s left arm around his shoulders, pulling him up. Before he could even get Shiro off the table the full way, the doors opened again. 

“Nope! No, you- no, no, no. No, you don’t,  I’m saving Shiro!” Lance insisted, shoving the table out of the way, making me step back to avoid getting mowed over by it. He grabbed Shiro’s prosthetic, wrapping it around his shoulders, supporting his other side.

“Who are you?!” Keith exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes, pulling off the hazmat suit.

“Who am I?” Lance gasped, sounding shocked. “Uh, the name’s Lance?” He stood there, staring at Keith, expectant.

Keith’s face was blank, devoid of any recognition he might have had for his old classmate. 

“We were in the same class at the Garrison?” Lance pressed.

“Really? Are you an engineer?” 

“No, I’m a pilot! We were, like, rivals. You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck!”

“Oh, wait, I remember you. You’re a cargo pilot.”

“Well, not anymore! I’m fighter class now, thanks to you washing out!” 

“Well, congratulations.” Keith’s reply was sarcastic, as they finally started walking out of the facility. 

“Be careful with him, guys, he’s drugged!” I followed behind them, my worried eyes stuck on Shiro’s unmoving form. I couldn’t help but think he was so much more… muscular than he was when he left. How…?

There wasn’t any time to think, as we all started walking out, letting Keith lead the way. There was Katie, squatting outside the facility with another student I didn’t recognize. He was watching the distance with binoculars, and as we walked out into the desert, he called to us, “Oh, man, they’re coming back, and they do not look happy! We’ve got to go!” 

Finally, I saw Keith’s rock behind the large rocks near the tent. Urgency gripped my very being, anxiety pounding against my heart. We all started climbing on. 

“Uh, do you mind if we catch a ride with you?” the unknown student asked, climbing onto the hoverbike anyways. 

Katie took Shiro from Lance as Keith climbed into the driver’s seat. I helped her pull him up into her arms, checking him over. He was okay, I guess, but still out. 

As the other student climbed on, the entire bike slammed back, and the rest of us cried out, trying to hold on. 

“Is this thing going to be big enough for all of us?!” Katie, Pidge, whoever cried out.

“No!” Keith growled. But the sight of the Garrison rovers coming made him turn the throttle, and we sped off. 

We all held on, and I watched anxiously as the Garrison brigade got closer and closer.

Lance seemed to have the same idea as I did, crying out, “Can’t this thing go any faster?!”

“We could toss out some non-essential weight!” Keith’s biting sarcasm made me roll my eyes, sighing heavily.

“Oh, right!” Lance said, seemingly not getting the jab, looking around for weight to toss off, before his eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, so that was an insult. I get it.”

“Big man, lean left!” Keith yelled out, ignoring Lance.

The student in the back leaned left, and Lance, Pidge, and I cried out in surprise at the sudden turn. 

Two of the rovers crashed into each other at the sudden turn, and I couldn’t help but worry about my colleagues. “Aw man, Mr. Harris just wiped out Professor Montgomery!” the student yelled. A moment passed before he commented, “No, no. He’s fine!” 

“Big man!” Keith yelled, “Lean right!” 

We all screamed again as we went careening off one cliff onto another, riding the curved walls where another rover crashed. 

I watched Keith steer the motorbike with precision and eloquence, relying on his instinct and not just his raw skills. Shiro must have taught him a thing or two.

“Guys!” the student in the back cried out, stuttering. “Is that a cliff up ahead?!” 

“Oh, no no no!” Lance cried, shaking his head. 

“Yup!” Keith grinned, leaning forward. 

Despite Pidge and Lance crying out various “no”s and trying to stop him, there wasn’t anything that could stop us from flying off the edge of the cliff, going into a nosedive. We screamed, holding on for our lives, and I prayed to whoever was listening that Pidge didn’t let go of Shiro.

“What are you doing?! You’re going to kill us all!” Lance cried.

“Shut up and trust me!” Keith snapped. 

Keith’s timing was perfect, straightening out the bike before we hit the bottom, letting us zoom off into the night. 

Looking back, I saw the one last rover sitting at the top of the cliff. They couldn’t follow us, not now. 

I sighed in relief, looking back at Shiro, putting my hand on his shoulder. “They’re not going to get us now,” I whispered. “It’ll be okay.”

We’ll be okay.

The rising sun made a perfect orange sky to paint the cliffs and rocks of the desert. And standing on the small hill outside Keith’s family cabin was the man I’d spent a year looking for.

I walked out quietly, watching as he examined the prosthetic that replaced his right hand. He seemed so different from the Shiro I knew and loved, and yet, so familiar. Somewhere under this new Shiro was the same dork that always lended me pencils, always keeping extras on him, knowing I’d come to every class and forget all my pencils. 

I stopped a bit away, just watching him. His shoulders were hunched forward, his head down. He looked so… broken.

I sighed, sticking my hands in my jacket pockets. I was so glad I remembered to keep some clothes at Keith’s house. I was more comfortable in my turtleneck and jacket and jeans than my Garrison uniform. 

Finally, I took a deep breath. “You’ve been gone a long time, Shiro.”

His head raised, before he turned to look at me. He relaxed a bit, seeing it was just me. “How long?”

I slowly walked up beside him, looking out at the horizon, before looking up at him. “It’s been a year…”

“A year,” he repeated, pain filling his features. He squeezed his eyes shut, turning away. He looked out upon the horizon line, something I’m sure he missed while he was gone. The unique landscape that was so… Earthly.

I was quiet, watching him. I didn’t know what to say. I always imagined that one day I’d see him, and he’d grin and hold his arms out, and I’d run and embrace him… now, it seemed so cinema-esque. This wasn’t a movie. This was… so much worse. 

He looked at me. I guess I was never usually this quiet, this so deep in my thoughts. “Did you think I was…?”

“Everyone else did.” I smiled a bit, though it was a sad smile. “Katie convinced me that you were still out there, somewhere… And I was hopeful she was right.” 

“Holt’s daughter?” Shiro asked. “Huh.”

I was quiet for a moment, biting my tongue, before I just decided to say it. “Shiro, I’ve missed you, so much…” 

He was quiet for a minute. He looked so heartbroken. “I missed you too,” he said quietly. “I don’t… I don’t really remember much from the last year. But I think I thought of you.”

“You were never off my mind,” I replied. “You never have been.”

He nodded, looking down at his feet. Then his eyes were dragged back to the prosthetic, bringing his left hand up to hold it.

I didn’t know what to say. There was nothing I could say. I wanted to tell him right then how much I loved him, how I was so happy he was home, but it just didn't seem right.

I turned and saw Keith approaching the two of us. I looked back to Shiro, struggling with his thoughts. And quietly, I just turned and walked away, giving a small smile to Keith as I passed him. I doubt it was very convincing. 

Walking up onto the porch, I went to turn the door handle, but stopped. I looked back, seeing the two brothers in the sunlight. 

It was beautiful. I never thought I’d see Shiro again.

I smiled, blinking back tears, before going inside. 

So these past two months I got hit really hard, I got diagnosed as being autistic & ADHD. I know they aren’t bad things but I’m almost 20 and never got help so I’ve been super depressed and struggling with it. And with school, it’s really been hard to write.

1. The new Shiro/Reader multific will be called The Old World and will be published once it is finished. I’m currently outlining Chapter 9, and I’m not quite at the halfway point yet, so we’ll see how long this ends up being.

2. I redid my desktop theme which included finally making a masterlist!