Look. Was it heavily uncomfortable for me to hear either of my parents (divorced) having sex with my step parents growing up? Yes. It was awkward as fuck. Especially since my mom got remarried when I was 16, we shared a wall, and she was not quiet in bed.
I told them I could hear them and they said, "Okay? And?" So I bought myself some earplugs and a pair of low grade construction muffs (~$20 all together in 2013) and learned how to fall asleep with them on. Message received.
I was annoyed, but I got on with my life. No trauma. It was just awkward. I managed, but I wished all the time they'd knock it off, and I grumbled about it a couple times, not that they cared.
6 years later I was renting a house in college.
Two of my roommates asked me to stop hanging out with my partner in shared spaces because we were too cute together; it made one miss her long distance bf, the other was single and it made her feel really lonely. My partner's roommate was a weed connoisseur and the place fucking REEKED. We were broke college students, so we weren't going to hang out at bars or pubs. So we started just hanging out in my room. Which often led to sex.
But the walls of that place were insanely thin, so even though we tried our damnedest to be quiet, we could still be heard through them.
They terrorized me over it. Seriously. I'd previously been the most beloved member of the house, something THEY had made very clear, not me tooting my own damn horn. But because I was unwilling to stop having VERY quiet sex in the privacy of my own bedroom, I was talked down to and ostracized.
Because they didn't want to TURN ON A FAN to cover up the noise (one of them literally said she couldn't hear it if her 8" desk fan was on), suddenly I was "disrespectful" and "selfish" and "unwilling to compromise" and "not abiding by the rules they'd voted on". Nevermind that I'd done more for any of them than they'd ever done for me, and they knew it.
That forever changed my view on shit like this.
You don't have to LIKE that you can hear someone having sex. It IS uncomfortable, and it IS awkward, and it IS worse if it's too loud to easily cover up or ignore.
But that's a YOU problem.
Outside of a few highly specific scenarios, if someone is having sex in the privacy of their own space, YOU are the asshole if you're trying to get them to stop just so you don't have to hear it. It's a natural human behavior. Get over yourself.
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