ii. 𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙻𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝙻𝙵 .

❝    i believe you  .    ❞

          KOSCHEI  ,    DEATHLESS           REVIVED  ,    RESURRECTION            HOW MANY DEATHS HAVE I DIED TO FIND YOU  ?

                                         ❝    i am cruel  ,    but i am not unreasonable  .    ❞

ash lines the heels of his shoes  ,    𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐭  ----     iridescent tears that cling to his skin                         (    i have never been kind  ,    i was born with liquor on my lips    &    a bridge to burn    )                         brow furrows  ,    hands extending idly towards her    /    as if extending across lifetimes  ,    as if asking her to pry open his mouth    &    quench the rotten things that have existed in him for so long                        [  my heart festers  ,    my bones crack  ,    i am filled with such ugly things  ;    i am asking you to undo them  ]

                ❝    I DON’T WORK FOR OTHERS  .                      ONLY MYSELF  .    ❞

tongue clicks against the hollow roof of his mouth    /    death’s laughter rattling in his iron  -  clad lungs  ,    fingertips leave the impression of bullet holes as he begins to rise  .    the air around them thick  ;    starting to part his brutal mouth  ,    to fill his mouth  ,    to live in his throat until he can no longer breathe  .    *   a sigh halts all  ,    the world itself slamming to a stop                         (    why do y`ou feel so weak today  ?    what has made your knees tremble  ,    o ‘  atlas  ?    what is it about this strange room  ,    and this strange man  ,    that has made your tongue tie itself in knots    /    that has allowed doubt to creep in  ?    )                          A GAZE AS SHARP AS A KNIFE                            𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧

                                   ❝    unless you can make it worth my while  .    ❞

                  HIS WOLFISH EYES                   IN MOONLIGHT SHINE                   LIKE NIGHTMARES

                                 ❝    ----  не думай что ты свободен  .    ❞                           crescent moon tucked into the hallows of his smile    /    something vague    &    ghostly                       (    something deadly  ,    something that gnaws at its own vacant bones    )

I. TRAITS

RULES: Bold what always applies, italicize occasional or situational

aggressive | arrogant | authoritarian | bitter | brutal | callous | cannibal | careless | cold/cold-hearted | compulsive | controlling | corrects others constantly | cowardly | critical | cruel | delusional | demanding | disillusioned | domineering | envious | emotionally stunted | greedy | grim | guarded | hard | harsh | hypocritical | impatient | impolite | intimidating | irritable | kidnapper | lazy | liar | lustful | materialistic | mean | merciless | messianic | mistrusting | murderer | narrow-minded | obsessive | opinionated | over-bearing | over-critical | over-emotional | over-thinking | patronizing | proud | remote | repressed | rigid | rules with an iron fist | ruthless | sarcastic | self-righteous | self-indulgent | serial killer | taciturn | torturer | touchy | traitorous | unsympathetic | unpredictable | uptight | vain | vengeful

II. BE YOUR WORST SELF QUIZ

You    Are    A    Two-Faced    Liar

          𝙷𝙸𝚂      𝙵𝙴𝙴𝚃      𝚃𝙷𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳      𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽𝚂𝚃      𝚃𝙷𝙴      𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳  .       dangerous    /    dangerous    /    dangerous  .     nighttime creeping against your skin  ,    slithering up the length of bared arms  ----     frostbite digging into the marrow                       (    threatening to freeze from the inside out  !   )                        all the lights dimmed  ,   city in shadows    /    reckless     &     undone  .    a town made of sorrow    &    meat stripped bones     /     the buyan looming on the horizon  ----     𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐚 𝐲𝐚𝐠𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠  !           with her mouth so mean  ,    cruelty interlaced  ,    stitched into each hair  ----     tsarista of sin  ,    of hours  ,    of salted tears    &    bittered earth  ,    don’t you hear the croons of someone like you  ?                    𝙸    𝙰𝙼    𝙰    𝚃𝚂𝙰𝚁    𝙸𝙽    𝙼𝚈    𝙾𝚆𝙽    𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃  !                     creator of temptation  ,   i was molded upon this earth to be nothing but ugly    /    barred teeth    /    the wolf slinks further into the light  .     growl torn from putrid flesh  ,    his eyes turn the color of soot smeared on ashy pages  .         𝙫𝙤𝙡𝙠  ,     𝙫𝙤𝙡𝙠  ,    𝙫𝙤𝙡𝙠   .          i’ll be the terror at the edge of your bed  ,     the sleeplessness that rattles the very core of your earth  .     creature of moon     &     broken mantle  ----     he sneaks through the window  ,    blood still fresh    /     heart still pounding  .                         (    a rush in my ears  ,    will you smell the gunpowder clinging to my hands  ?    will you understand that i am wild  ,    that i am unsated  ,    that each night i must peel away the guise of humanity    &    wear the survival drilled into my soul  ?     )                         boot dug into cracked plaster  ,    a crunch of gravel     &    shattered glass     /    left scattered from memories tucked behind bruised eyelids  .    a hush settled  ,    quieter than sin  ,                       ❛    i didn’t want to wake you  ,    luchik  ,    go back to sleep  .      ❜                       cold creeps in  ,    it exists within me  ,   spilling like starlight against the shadowed floorboards  .     a flame of light  ----      it’s the spark before an inferno  ,     the untamedness of a wildfire     /      kept secret between the blankets of your own bed  .    the volatile put aside  ,    𝙞'𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙪𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚  ,     let the callouses on my hands soften     /      the scars unmade by kindness of a love i don’t deserve  .                          ❛   were you waiting up for me  ?     ❜

most of them are just like Job related so they arent that sad  .     it's just that he's dumb and opens his stupid mouth and gets in trouble in the middle of doing deals

NUMBER ONE  .    so the first really bad scar he ever got was the x mark on his hip .  which is..... Basically... a branding... like someone carved it into him as a like "wherever you go you have this reminder now that you're a criminal / that you're dirty" and it happened when he was like YOUNG like barely a teenager and his dad offered him up to work to some crime boss and the guy did that so he like ,  basically couldn't ever be taken or work for someone else and like.... idk he literally probably tried to carve that scar off when he was older because he HATES IT like it just made him feel owned and dirty and he didn't have a choice because his dad MADE HIM be a criminal at such a young age

NUMBER TWO  .    the big scar going all the way around his thigh .  he was about 16 when it happened .  but it was basically the first time a deal went really Really wrong and he was alone ,  like he'd seen deals go wrong before but usually they sent someone else with him because he was still young and learning .  but they were getting him used to doing it by himself and like it just.... went sour fast .  it was probably a weapons trade ,  the guy didn't like the prices that were set ,  and yulian of course didn't have any kind of permission to negotiate them and the firmer he got about not changing the prices the more pissed this guy got .  and because yulian is young and even dumber and angry he just didn't even THINK about it but he muttered something under his breath and it just..... absolutely set the guy off and it was like .  real fucking bad yulian got like.... lowkey kidnapped like tied down to a chair and he was just a teenager so he wasnt strong enough to ?  fight back against all these big guys .  and like they honestly Planned to let yulian go because his boss was probably fucking TERRIFYING but just to be god damn spiteful the guy just.... stabbed him in the thigh and probably nearly severed some shit and just.... really slowly drug the knife all the way around his thigh and like... Oops he was honestly really fucked up of course he was crying and screaming and literally couldn't walk LIKE HE WAS JUST YOUNG AND SCARED AND THE SCAR IS STILL REALLY DEEP AND HURTS SOMETIMES

NUMBER THREE  .    the tip of his ear is missing  .    this one is his most recent ,  it happened after he went to america .  and honestly it was his.... introduction into how crime works there and how shitty people are and lowkey it's kinda fucked up but like .  he was doing one of his first deals because he was like completely out of money and living in an alley and like just NEEDED to get his shit together so he wouldn't freeze when the winter hit and like .  basically he was leaving a deal and like shit actually went well and he had enough money to like ,  you know ,  not die .  and as he was leaving the guys fucking jumped him to take the money back because basically they were fucking cheats who'd pretend to do a deal to get the drugs / weapons and then they'd jump them to get the money back .  and of course yulian fucking tried to fight back and refused to give up the money and because he fought back they absolutely beat the shit out of him and like..... he was just laying on the cold ground bruised and bleeding and they like spit on him and called him names and then literally cut off the top of his ear as like.... a Token that they'd gotten the best of him and like a reminder that crime here worked differently than in russia and he wasnt Shit here and now everyone will know that he got taken down and like .  because he was hurt and then didn't get the money from the deal he basically almost died in the streets and had a Rough time recovering