headache

One thing that Taewoo had tried really hard to work at was building trust with all of his members, especially with him being the leader. It was a difficult thing, getting to know everyone in the beginning, more than you would need to know about an average friend. There had been a lot of fights and disagreements, there were even some that were brewing now, but Tae prided himself on the fact that if it seemed like there was something really bothering someone, they knew they could come to him. Either for advice or his opinion ( even if it wasn’t always the best ) or simply to vent to an unbiased ear.

For how late at night it was Geonwoo definitely looked very worked up, although the leader was sure that the expression across his features didn’t mirror how he was really feeling. Not with the way he was rubbing at it, feeling it throb just a little under his touch from where he’d been hit. Really, it had been his own fault, but until it stopped hurting he was going to quietly blame the member standing in front of him. He didn’t have to know.

Tilting his head, he waited patiently for Geonwoo to gather his thoughts, a smile breaking out across his face as he realized what he needed. “You’re worrying about this so late at night?” There an an amused chuckle with the words that left his mouth, but it definitely wasn’t directed at him. “Of course I can listen, I’m always happy to. But when you do things over and over when you’re frustrated, it loses meaning. Like when you try and play a video game and you’re already upset from a bad game earlier. It stops being fun. Do you know what I mean?”

Geonwoo felt embarrassment and shame flare up in him when Taewoo chuckled, prickling hot inside of him. He knew the other meant well-- he trusted the other, he had to-- but his gut reaction was the same regardless, making him tense. It took everything in Geonwoo not to storm off to his own room right them.

“Don’t laugh,” he said, maybe a bit too quick, a bit too sharp. He felt his cheeks burn, and he had to force himself to not snap at Taewoo any more, clenching his jaw against the words that wanted to come out. He dropped his head, his grip on the papers tightening until they crinkled in his hands. “Ugh, fuck,” he muttered, bitter at himself, his own short-comings. It wasn’t a feeling that he was used to, and it stung, making him grit his teeth against it. “This is fucking stupid, I shouldn’t have asked.”

It took a moment before he could cool himself off enough to reply to Taewoo, to try and put his words in order in a way that wouldn’t make things worse. “I know,” he tried, but it still came out harsh, so he tried again. “I know what you mean. I get it. But... It needs to be perfect, hyung. I’ve been here too long for it to not be.”

    *   IT’S  DIFFICULT  FOR  RJ  TO  UNDERSTAND  THE  DISBELIEF .  he  thought  all  his  members  were  real  lookers  &  each  in  unique  ways .  he  envied  them  actually .  he  knew  he  had  a  great  deal  of  growing  to  do  but  the  puffy  baby  fat  in  his  cheeks  had  sparked  many  diets  in  an  effort  to  force  it  away .  it  wasn’t  something  he  thought  about  or  even  noticed  before  &  he  wasn’t  aware  there  was  a  problem  at  all .  heavy  suggestion  from  kmg  had  changed  his  mind .  he  looks  like  a  hamster ,  one  of  those  dwarf  ones  that  seemed  round  in  places  that  didn’t  even  make  sense .

    ❛ so  i’m  just  hallucinating  all  this  time? ❜  he’s  truly  digesting  the  information ,  lips  pursed  to  a  thin  line  to  play  it  up  for  his  next  statement .  ❛ it  makes  sense  because  i  thought  i  saw  someone  who  looked  better  than  you  yesterday  but  it  turned  out  to  be  you . ❜  a  finishing  click  of  his  tongue  while  eyes  follow  the  flail  of  geonwoo’s  hands .  he  knew  his  way  around  words  dangerously  well ,  such  a  coaxing  warmth  that  never  seemed  more  at  home  than  with  him .  (  great  power  ;  great  responsibility . )  ❛ i  don’t  know  about  deserve .  i  might  get  a  big  ego  if  people  stared  at  me  like  that . ❜

     the  sigh  felt  palpable  like  whatever  was  weighing  in  his  chest  had  simply  climbed  out  through  his  breath  &  was  floating  in  the  air  now .  (  he  could  only  hope  it  wasn’t  contagious . )  ❛ well ,  i  lose  every  argument  i  get  in  so .  . ❜  for  simple  fact  of  conceding  to  whatever  the  argument  had  sprung  from  in  the  first  place .  hostility  &  rj  was  a  near  flawless  oxymoron .  in  fact ,  it  might  just  be  in  the  dictionary  as  an  example  of  one .  he’s  grasping  at  straws  for  a  silver  lining  but  he  comes  up  empty-handed .  ❛ sorry  not  helpful . ❜

geonwoo felt his ears warm at ryunho’s continued comments, flustered, his embarrassment only climbing. “can you not,” he complained, taking a playful, half-hearted swing at the other. he knew that his groupmate was like this-- always sweet, generous with his words, looking to cheer the others up whenever possible-- but it still caught him off guard sometimes, even after all this time. he just hoped that the warmth in his face wasn’t apparent through the thick makeup he’d been caked in in preparation for filming. “you’re so cheesy, jeez...”

he sunk back into his seat a bit more, having moved to fling his hand in ryunho’s direction. “you deserve an ego,” he responded, voice firm, barreling through the flustered feeling at ryunho’s previous words. “at least you won’t be an ass about it. besides, you should get used to the staring. it’ll only get worse after debut.”

his mood sunk a bit with ryunho afterwards, glancing at his bandmate out of the corner of his eye. he could tell the other was just trying to help, his heart always in the right place with what he said, even if geonwoo didn’t want to hear it. “nah, don’t be sorry,” he said with a shake of his head, pulling his gaze away to look at the wall as he spoke. he wasn’t good at shit like this, but for ryunho, he’d try. 

“honestly, i know you’re probably right, and you make a good point, i just...” geonwoo trailed off for a moment, then sighed. he lifted a hand to his head, pressing the heel of his hand against his temple. “i’m just stubborn, i guess,” he continued with a laugh, but it was wry. “sorry.”

As much as the other possibly thought he was being subtle, you could cut the tension radiating off him with a butter knife, and there was loud clinking from his drink to prove it. Where he wanted to talk back to the sunbae, but found it in his best interest to keep quiet. If only other members of Danger could be as smart as him. Kyuu had been in that position himself before, which meant that he knew that no matter what the more experienced of the two could have said about it, the other wouldn’t listen, and would wait to form his own opinion when the time comes. Even if that opinion ends up being the exact thing Kyuu had tried to tell him only a few months earlier.

“Neurotic? I haven’t heard that one before.” Lies, he had. Many times. Along with some other, more colorful words. Shrugging a shoulder, he licked over his lips where the coffee lingered from his last sip. “I have been relaxing. Why do you think I’m here?” So relaxed he’d been finding it in himself to lightheartedly tease the other, malicious intent nowhere to be found. “I like being productive, and I don’t like feeling lazy. Why would I sit down and do nothing when I could be helping myself?”

Geonwoo snorted at Kyuu’s response. “Liar,” he replied, taking a quick sip of his drink. “If no one’s called you neurotic before, I’ll shave my head.” Even though Geonwoo was friends with Kyuu, he knew how the other could seem, how easily his attitude might get on people’s nerves. Hell, Kyuu had gotten on Geonwoo’s own nerves just moments before. He wouldn’t doubt that his friend had had a slew of choice words thrown at him over the years.

He stirred his drink again, the ice clinking in the background as he listened to his friend’s words. A smirk pulled up the corner of his lips, and he snorted. “How generous,” Geonwoo commented teasingly, drawling the syllables out just to press Kyuu’s buttons. “Taking time out of your productivity to sit and chat with me! Although, maybe a having a social life outside of work could be helpful...”

Sitting down, talking out… feelings or thoughts or emotions or anything that required him to pry apart his rib cage and search for a remnant of any of them, well, it made him weary. There were only so many self-operations that he could perform before the blood ran dry — before he’d ragdoll and ask for relief, for someone to take his place so that he may do little more than nap. But the days were long, nights seemingly elongated and punctuated by the soft hums of nearby appliances that in many ways shouldn’t have been where his attention was drawn, and yet he found himself staring over the other’s shoulder, gaze lazily locked on the humming cooler that seemed to blink back at him in neon Morse code.

To say they were friends would be a stretch. Frankly he only had two friends and one of them he was sleeping with exclusively, so he was certain that made it more than “friends”. But did he care about the young man before him? … He was not a man of affectionate words, small pockets of time where one could feel safe and calm, only to be tossed back into the sea of violent thrashing and towering waves that’d crash into him, sending him to and fro with little care as to where he’d end up.

And he supposed this — this very seat — was where he was supposed to end up on a day like today.

“What’s so crazy about being able to talk to another person?” the Iksan native posed, uncrossing his arms to reach for the ceramic coffee cup before him. Unlike his exterior may have suggested, he held it daintily, pinky out and a pair of fingers gently supporting the mug. As he took a sip of the dark liquid, the soloist furrowed his brow, lips pulling tight against his teeth. “They sell fantasies of us, you know that. It’s best not to rabbit hole.”

The more the trainee praised him, the more of a strained smile Deoksu felt peeling across his lips. He hadn’t exactly been proud of his past actions, and hearing that this former mold of himself had been what encouraged the younger to join the industry was… disconcerting at best.

But a part of him felt… saddened. His fractured smile curled into a frown, but it almost immediately snapped into a smirk as he chuckled.

“Don’t give me a big head. We know what happened last time.”

Hell, everyone knew.

Geonwoo let out a nervous laugh at Deoksu’s comment. Of course, the elder had a point. At the core of it all, him and Deoksu were really just two ordinary people with unusual careers. There wasn’t anything otherworldly about the man across from him, nothing written into his genes that made him something extraordinary. But Geonwoo still couldn’t quite reconcile the image of the Spyder he had seen in music videos and on TV screens with the idea of Ahn Deoksu, normal person in a coffee shop. There was still a bit of a halo around him, and even though Geonwoo knew better, both from meeting Deoksu several times and from getting involved in the industry himself, it was hard for that image to fade.

“I know,” he replied, reaching for his coffee only after Deoksu had already picked up his own. Geonwoo had never particularly been one of proper manners, and watching Deoksu hold his cup so daintily made him nervous. He picked his up with uncertain hands, pausing with the hot cup in his hands for a few moments before turning his face away to take a sip. When he set it back down, he tucked his hands under his legs anxiously. 

“I know how it’s like, I’ve been here long enough,” he continued after a few moments. “But.. Still, it’s kind of hard to believe it right? I grew up listening to you, and now we’re having coffee like it’s nothing.”

sebin had thought that he could keep his cool better than geonwoo could, thought that this would turn out to be fun for him — but he felt his own anger increase tenfold the closer that geonwoo got to him. he highly valued his personal space, and to have the man not only in his face, but screaming in his face… oh, it got under sebin’s skin.

he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t make this conflict physical, but before he could stop himself, he had grabbed a fistful of geonwoo’s shirt. “you’re only making yourself look worse,” he hissed, no longer in a competition of who could be the loudest. now, his words were low, meant for no one but geonwoo. “i couldn’t care less about being in a group with you. hell, i’m thrilled to have something as useless as you around. it’ll make the rest of us look so much better in comparison.” 

not that he liked all of his other members, but even the ones that got on his nerves couldn’t dream of angering him as much as geonwoo could. it seemed like a special talent of his.

and then came the mention of his parents. it hurt because it was true — all of it. he was jealous, he certainly felt worthless, and he’d never made his parents proud; in recent times, he’d begun to think that he never would. geonwoo had struck a nerve, and because of it, sebin used his grip on geonwoo’s shirt to shove him — hard. “at least i have parents,” was his response, hateful. he knew he shouldn’t make such a low blow, and if he had been in a better state of mind, he never would have. but he was hurt. and when sebin was hurt, his reaction was to hurt others.

“what about your mom? you think she’d be proud of you?”

geonwoo felt any last thread of composure snap at the mention of his mother. the subject had been a well-known taboo with the other members-- no one ever really brought it up, and geonwoo himself only mentioned it when necessary. for sebin to bring her up now, just to throw her death in geonwoo’s face... geonwoo saw red.

he had stumbled backwards when sebin shoved him, nearly losing his footing, but geonwoo managed to right himself quickly. his shoulders and chest rose with heavy, heated breaths, absolutely seething with anger. “so that’s what you’re resorting to now,” he growled, voice low and dangerous. he felt like an elastic pulled so taught that he was ready to snap at any second. “picking on the kid with the dead mother, huh. you sound like every other kid at school, now. think you’re real fucking tough.”

geonwoo moved forward and snatched sebin by the front of his shirt, though instead of how sebin used it to push him away, geonwoo used his grip to yank sebin closer. “let me tell you something,” he hissed, glaring at sebin, dripping with venom. “my mother would be very proud of me. she’d be proud of how i scrubbed tables after school, how i taught myself how to dance and rap well enough to get here, how i managed to pass my classes and graduate high school even though i didn’t have those rich kid after school academies like you did.” he shook sebin as he spoke, as if he could rattle sebin’s brain enough to make things click for him, to finally smarten up and stop being such a dick.

he turns his head, takes out an earbud from one ear. after a long day of practice, his mind feels like honey dripping from a spoon, sticky-slow in the beginning, building into something fast. but while there’s a flicker of recognition in the back of his mind at seeing the other’s face, when he tries to chase it, it escapes him. 

“ i’m sorry, it must just be that it’s late, but do i know you ? ” he asks. both embarrassment and apology color his voice, and his blush would be visible even under the dim subway station lighting if it were not for the mask covering half of his features. gyumin’s still a trainee, under no illusion about his miniscule level of fame, and the way that the stranger said not only his name but where he’s from makes him think that it’s probably someone from back home as well. and judging by the other’s age — “ were we … classmates ? ”

Geonwoo felt something heavy sink and settle in a chest, sitting like a stone. Part of him was annoyed that Gyumin hadn’t remembered him-- he wasn’t expecting much, but at least an ounce of recognition would have been nice. However, part of him was relieved; Gyumin not recognizing him meant he probably didn’t remember Geonwoo for the nightmare child he was back in their hometown. Maybe Geonwoo hadn’t made as bad of an impression as he’d thought.

Geonwoo kicked his shoes off at the door, not bothering to put them in their proper space as he stalked into the dorm. He was in a bad mood, and he was sure that everyone knew it-- whether they cared or not was a different story. Not that it mattered to him, really, but maybe the ones who cared would have enough sense to not get in his way when he approached Haneul.

It was clear to Geonwoo, even without Haneul saying it to him outright, that the rapper and vocalist didn’t care much at all for what they were doing. The eight of them were in the thick of it, preparing for debut, recording, practicing, learning new lyrics and choreography-- and yet, it seemed that the elder would rather be doing anything other than that. It grated on Geonwoo to no end, the lack of effort that Haneul put into everything they did. It was disrespectful to the rest of them, to the company, all of the hard work that everyone had put in to get to this point-- and Geonwoo took it personally.

He waited until everyone was inside the dorm and the door was closed before he opened his mouth. If someone was going to try and get mad at him for his attitude, they could go right ahead-- Geonwoo knew he was right, so whatever the others said didn’t matter. 

“Haneul-hyung,” he began, his tone of voice and crossed arms already betraying his annoyance, “can’t you at least pretend to give a fuck about debuting?”

Geonwoo wasn’t one to get nervous easily, but he couldn’t help himself from fidgeting in his seat, crossing his legs then uncrossing them then crossing them again. Even after five years at the company, being in the same space as one of his idols still made the trainee’s heart race, the visual reminder that he somehow belonged in the same space as them catching him off-guard every time. But now, sat across from Deoksu with two coffees on the table in front of them-- well. It was completely surreal. Vaguely, Geonwoo wondered what his sixteen year old self would have thought if he was told he’d one day be having coffee with his inspiration. He probably would have laughed it off like a dream.

But now, at twenty-one, it was very much a reality. When Geonwoo had first met Deoksu, anxiously yet eagerly approaching the elder in the halls of the company building, he never would have guessed that the two of them would end up having any sort of relationship. Yet somehow, as their paths continued to cross and Geonwoo continued to speak to Deoksu, he must have managed to endear himself to the senior. Now, Deoksu spoke to him easily, transformed from Geonwoo’s idol to a real person, and the young man was lucky enough to think of him as a mentor of sorts.

It wasn’t uncommon for Geonwoo to find people from Busan living in Seoul. The two of them were big cities, but there was no question that Seoul was the entertainment hub between the two-- if anyone wanted to achieve true stardom in the entertainment industry, moving to Seoul was a requirement. What was uncommon was for Geonwoo to see people he knew from Busan here in Seoul. So when the debut lineup for Summit Media’s new boy group had been announced, a familiar face had made him do a double take. Particularly, the familiar face of a former schoolmate.

Gyumin and him hadn’t necessarily gotten along much in school, but that wasn’t much of a surprise. Geonwoo wasn’t under any illusions-- he was well aware that he hadn’t been the most friendly kid at his school, angry and filled with an attitude. Him and Gyumin hadn’t interacted much, but Geonwoo was certain that the vast majority of people he had been at school with knew of him for all the wrong reasons. The poor, angry, motherless kid that helped at his family’s pork soup restaurant who was always arguing and talking back. He’d been trying to leave that image behind, make a new start here in Seoul, but the sight of his old classmate brought back a whole host of memories that Geonwoo would have rather left behind.

One could probably imagine his surprise, then, when Geonwoo saw that familiar place waiting on the same subway platform as him. Even with a hat and mask on, Geonwoo knew it was Gyumin. What the soon-to-debut trainee was doing waiting for a subway train late at night, Geonwoo wasn’t sure, but Gyumin was standing just a few feet away from him, and Geonwoo knew he might as well take the chance that was ahead of him.

Geonwoo didn’t have many close friends to boast about. He was a funny enough guy, decently charismatic, but his temper and tendency for at times brutal honestly tended to keep most people at a distance. That hadn’t been the case with Yumi, though. The younger was someone that Geonwoo could unhesitatingly call a friend. The two of them had known each other back in Busan, grown up around each other, and while it had been hard to keep in touch when Yumi moved to Seoul before Geonwoo, the two of them had been able to pick things up where they left off when Geonwoo moved as well in 2015. 

Their schedules were usually too busy to meet often, but Geonwoo welcomed any opportunity to see Yumi. So when he heard she was coming to the company, the rapper was understandably delighted. With his debut approaching, Geonwoo knew he would just get busier and busier, so he wanted to make the most of any time he got to spend with his friends, before the only time he would be able to meet them was at official events.

“Yumi-ah!” he called from the doorway when he saw the other from down the hall, waving her over. He’d known ahead of time that she was planning on dropping off a copy of 7ten’s album for him, so he’d grabbed an empty practice room for the two of them, as well as a couple of convenience store coffees. With their schedules, the two of them could probably use the caffeine. “How have you been?”

sebin didn’t care much about money. hell, most of the time, he wished that he hadn’t come from it — maybe things would be different. easier. when he’d brought up charity, he hadn’t been talking about financial status at all, but what he perceived as a lack of talent in geonwoo. but if the other trainee had taken it the wrong way, then so be it; sebin didn’t care enough to correct him, especially not after seeing an anger nearly identical to his own reflected in geonwoo. clearly, he’d struck a nerve. good.

he raised his chin as he answered. “it’s funny that you think there’s only one thing about you that bothers me, geonwoo.” he kept his feet planted firmly on the floor as geonwoo got closer. he knew where this was likely going to go, and if he were any smarter, he would’ve tried to put out the flame before it got out of control. but he wouldn’t.

“i didn’t get in on anyone’s money,” he defended, his own voice growing louder. he couldn’t be certain if it was true or not, but right now, right here, it had to be — he had to make himself believe that it was. “i’m sure it burns you up, but i got in on talent. the money’s just another thing that separates people like me from people like you: the somebodies versus the nobodies.” he rolled his eyes, then added, “you’re a fucking nuisance, geonwoo. don’t you get it?”

if geonwoo was any dumber of a man, he would have thrown a punch at sebin by now. as it stood, geonwoo knew a bit better than that. words hurt, but didn’t leave a mark that could be seen by others and used against him in the future. and as much as he wanted to smash sebin’s sneering face in, cutting him with words was going to have to do. (if only they weren’t in the company, but on a street back in busan. geonwoo really would have shown this asshole what’s up.)

“well guess what!” geonwoo nearly shouted, in sebin’s face now. oh, he was defending himself? it was a chance that geonwoo would be a fool to miss. all he wanted to do was throw sebin’s insults back at his face. “you’re gonna have to be in a group with this nobody, share a stage with me, share a dorm with me, hear my voice and see my face everywhere. how about that, huh? a nobody and a somebody, both of them idols!”

geonwoo laughed, bitter and vicious. his body thrummed with adrenaline, feeling like a predator on the attack. his fight or flight response had kicked in, and geonwoo never went down without a fight. “a nobody like me made it to the same stage as you, and now you’ll have to be reminded of it every day. feels good, sebin?” he grinned at sebin, more like a baring of teeth. he felt like a forest fire, his anger explosive. 

It was kind of cute, how cocky the other seemed to be. If it was any other member of Danger sitting across from him at that table ( not that he would be caught dead catching up with Sebin ) he would have been quick to snap him back to reality, laying down how gruelling your schedule is after debut. How high in demand you suddenly are. Your life is a triangle of work, play, sleep, and you can only pick two. Although for Han Minkyu, both of his picks always seemed to consistently be on work. A choice that most often than not paid off for him, but was heavily exhausting at times. “Sure, if you think so,” he offered with a sly smile, taking another sip of his drink. He would find out soon enough.

While Kyuu didn’t believe that you could miss twentytwenty’s tour announcements, social media or not, he didn’t have the energy to get defensive about it. Not today, not while he’d actually been… Kind of relaxed over the last few days. The down time had somewhat changed him, but he was sure he would go back to being tightly wound shortly once their comeback schedule kicked off again. “It forced me to realise that all of my hobbies are… Work,” the idol chuckled drily, shrugging. “Not that I usually need to have other hobbies. Perhaps I should have spent my time studying more, working on my English. Been more productive.”

Geonwoo struck down the small flare of annoyance that crept up inside him at Kyuu’s sly comment, taking a moment to remind himself that his friend was just teasing him good-naturedly. It was a bad habit of his that had been pointed out by others time and time again-- Geonwoo was always the type to act without thinking, lashing out based on assumptions before he got all the facts. His friends were not exempt from this, and he’d taken a match to one bridge too many because of it. The rapper had been trying to work on it, though; so instead of defending himself or getting frustrated like he was oft to do, Geonwoo just held his tongue, stirring the ice in his drink around noisily.

The feeling passed quickly as Kyuu began to talk again, the corners of Geonwoo’s lips tipping up as he listened. “You sound so neurotic,” he said teasingly, a bit of a laugh in his voice. “You know you’re allowed to relax, right? Imagine, wanting to be productive during your days off, even though you’re so productive every day...”

    *   HIS  HEART  WAS  ALIGHT ,  currently  hellbent  on  burning  him  from  the  inside . conviviality  rolled  into  his  chest  like  thunder  &  there  was  no  mistaking  the  pyre  it  had  lit  behind  his  eyes .  his  slumped  posture  is  abandoned  in  a  flash ,  pulling  himself  up  using  armrests  as  his  anchor .  ❛ you  are  so  hot ,  like  unfairly .  do  you  know  how  many  times  i  see  people  doing  double  takes  for  you?  a  lot . ❜

       admittedly ,  the  amusement  he  got  from  catching  someone  staring  at  one  of  his  members  was  a  new  favorite .  he’d  given  more  than  a  few  knowing  looks  to  people  averting  their  eyes  once  they  were  caught  in  the  act .  their  faces  always  shifting  between  awe  to  embarrassment  faster  than  he’d  ever  seen .  of  course  some  were  more  shameless ,  no  matter  the  reaction  he  was  proud  to  be  in  a  group  with  all  of  them .  reasonably  though ,  their  talents  were  what  truly  made  him  proud  to  say  he  belonged  to  danger .

      ❛ hot’s  not  the  right  word  for  me .  i’m  more  like— mmh ,  i  don’t  know  actually . ❜  the  fire  blazing  behind  his  ribs  wavered ,  like  a  wick  of  a  candle  being  surrounded  by  the  very  wax  it  had  burned .  he  gauged  the  reaction  of  the  older  immediately  with  uncertainty  bunched  his  torso .  it  felt  so  bitter  to  hear  him  talk  like  this ,  he  couldn’t  help  but  wonder  if  it’d  ever  get  better . ❛ you’re  not  gonna  let  me  argue  against  this  are  you? ❜  feet  shuffle  on  the  set  floor  with  an  exasperated  sigh .  ❛ yeah— but  hey ,  i  know  it’ll  come  out  looking  great .  you  look  cool  as  hell . ❜

geonwoo sputtered loudly at ryunho’s claim, feeling heat rising to his face. people doing double takes? for him? he could understand for some of the members-- someone tall and with a small face like taewoo, or sharp and princely like haneul, but for him? there had to be a mistake. not that he thought ryunho was lying or anything-- he trusted the younger enough that he would never accuse him of lying outright-- but there was definitely some sort of mix-up going on. 

“you-- you’ve gotta be seeing things,” geonwoo insisted, slouching back into his seat to avoid ryunho’s gaze. “they weren’t looking at me. they were probably looking at you and tried to play it off or whatever. which is fine!” he emphasized the last word, throwing his hands into the air for a moment before bringing them down and crossing his arms again. “you deserve it more than i do, trust me on that one.” 

geonwoo let out a bit of a chuckle despite himself at ryunho’s exasperation. always trying to be good, always playing the peacemaker, even between a combination as volatile as sebin and geonwoo. “i don’t let most people argue against me,” he reminded, glancing at ryunho with a wry smile. “i know your heart’s in the right place, but just...” he shrugged, running out of words now that he was trying to talk about things calmly and thoughtfully. thinking before speaking had never been one of geonwoo’s strong suits. he trailed off like that, sinking down a bit lower in the chair to sulk.

While Sebin was nowhere to be found, and he wasn’t quite ready to go to sleep yet, Taewoo was relaxing in the other’s ground level bed, not bothering to climb up to his own bunk just yet if he knew time would barely pass at all before he was sliding out of it again. He knew his group mate wouldn’t mind, he’d spent enough nights accompanying him in his bed to know he was fine with sharing his space. The leader’s switch was held high above his face as he continued to work on his island, digging for a fossil when he heard an unexpected knock to the door.

The sound startled him, his body jolting and his fingers relaxing their grip on the portable console. He wished it hadn’t, but it fell on his face, a yelp leaving his lips soon after as he rubbed at his cheek and nose. “Ohhh my go-ho-hod,” he groaned, sighing out of his nose as he began to roll over, sitting up on the edge of the mattress as he listened to the voice on the other side. He knew it wouldn’t be Sebin, since the other would simply walk into their shared room unannounced. 

“Geonwoo?” The older male questioned, padding over to the door as he continued to rub at his nose, quiet noises leaving his switch where he’d left it on the bed, not bothering to move it after it fell on him. Hopefully his skin wouldn’t bruise on the impact, that would be fun to explain to his manager. Opening the door, he stepped outside, knowing that his roommate wouldn’t be the most pleased to find this particular member in their room when he was ready to go to sleep. “Of course you can, but shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

@taevld​

Geonwoo tried not to laugh when he heard Taewoo groan through the door, pursing his lips together to hide his smile. He wasn’t quite sure what he had interrupted, but knowing the group’s leader, it was probably video games. It was a bit of a relief that Taewoo was awake as well, that Geonwoo wasn’t the only one still up and about at this hour, but he was still gripped by a brief moment of panic as Taewoo opened the door. Thoughts of I shouldn’t have asked and this is stupid flew through his head for a moment, before he stomped them down harshly.

Still, Geonwoo’s mouth moved before he thought. “Shouldn’t you?” he replied back instantly, too biting considering who he was talking to. Instantly he regretted it, covering his face with a hand and letting out a huff. “Sorry, sorry,” he hurried to say, cursing his own quick tongue. “I didn’t mean that. I just...”

Geonwoo let out a sigh, dropping his hand from his face to take the pages of lyrics in both hands. He felt stupid even asking about this. Regardless of the fact that he trusted Taewoo more than most people he’d ever met in his life, regardless of the fact that he knew Taewoo was here to help, not dismiss him or belittle his skills and hard work, Geonwoo still felt like the words were stuck in his throat. He’d never been shy by nature, never had a problem running his mouth-- so why was asking for help so hard?

“I was-- I mean I’ve been... Ugh, fuck,” he cursed himself, physically shaking the nerves off before brandishing the papers at Taewoo. “I’m trying to practice my verses for recording but I don’t think it’s enough and I’m fed up of listening to myself,” he said in one breath, arguably too loudly and too aggressively for the late hour, but Geonwoo couldn’t bring himself to care too much. “Can you listen to me and tell me if I sound stupid?”