Come and see about me

Sleep, you see, had never been his mistress, and not simply because he seemed to be the idol least interested in any sort of relationships outside of work ones. Most evenings were spent working on new music or preparing for events, replaying the past like a tape while attempting to write the future like a ballad not yet complete. The travesty of it all, you see, was the fact that his circle of friends and acquaintances were small, thin to the point that those he knew outside of his group were through his members themselves. Well, there were some exceptions.

It was difficult to remember how the two of them had met, whether it had been through mutual friends or some other avenue that birthed such connections, the sort of thing he never thought much on until he was standing in the middle of it all. Perhaps it had gone in a similar manner when he’d met Beam, the bright spot of the Lark members who seemed plenty interested in getting to know other idol leaders, hoping to learn from them. As he had done with others, he’d taken the young leader under his wing, offering suggestions and advice whenever she asked, and on occasion even meeting up with her when the night proved to be far longer and heavier than either of them could bear. Or perhaps that was just how he often felt.

The bottoms of his sneakers crushed a twig beneath their soles, his gaze focused on the shape atop the hill, the one he’d grown to recognize from a distance. Approaching the designated meeting area, the older leader offered her a simple “Hello” before standing beside her, hands in his pockets as they both gazed out over the Han River.

A few seconds of silence passed before he spoke again.

“How was your day?” A simple enough question, one he asked every time they meet up, but it seemed like the most logical way to begin a conversation with someone he felt he barely saw. “Did you eat well?”

Beam was one to easily get lost on her thoughts, no matter the place or time it always happened and with her debut date getting closer every day that passed the young lady had more on mind than usual but with the Moon always helping her soothe her worries along with the River as the perfect sight thing’s weren’t that bad not to mention the eagerness she felt to meet up with the person she was expecting; being so distracted she didn’t even notice the presence of her company until she could hear his steps from a close distance. She turned her torso to confirm her his identity squinting her eyes just a little to see clearly since she didn’t have her glasses with her but his figure was completely recognizable to her since it was one she often saw on screens, she followed his movements with her body and gaze up to when he stopped walking and stood next to her, looking up from the ground she waved and a smiled gently, she was however getting used to seeing him as her friend and not as his stage persona Rabbit, having him up close and personal still felt like something new but the intimidating feeling went away with the first word she heard escape from his lips, it was something she could manage to get used to, being around him.

The young lady sighed as a safe feeling started to overcome her, hugging her knees close to her chest and now keeping her eyes on the River, admiring the reflection of the lights “It was alright thank you, fully packed as you may understand.” Not feeling the need to share more since she knew he had gone through the trainee life himself, she turned her attention to her older friend looking once again up at him from her comfortable position on the ground to give him a soft smile “See that question tells me you don’t know me well enough, I always eat and too much if I may add.” She chuckled softly and brought a hand to her bangs to fix them, a common mannerism of hers, even if her hair was looking completely fine she would always run her hands through it softly letting it fall perfectly on her forehead. Already feeling confident next to him she grabbed him by the wrist and shook him lightly “Sit next to me.” An inviting smile drew across her lips as her eyes never left his.

When: 20.09.01 | 1:34 PM Where: Saeun’s apartment, Seongsu-dong Who: @vldbeam

The sun bright in the sky made the Han River seem like it was shining under the sunlight, which made her terrace the perfect place for a lunch with Beam. Before going to Japan and the younger going to the trainee camp, Saeun wanted to make sure Beam was doing well. It was more than just a duty as a sunbae, but as a friend. The lovely girl was too kind and sweet for her own good, and Saeun had made her person mission to make sure nothing ever happened to her. Perhaps it was because she couldn’t help but wanting to protect other people in the industry, or because she just went around adopting people as her siblings, she simply had to spend time with Beam before she left for a month.

She stepped out and smiled at the girl, placing the lemonade on the table and taking a seat. “Do you have everything you need for camp? I brought extra stuff for Japan if there’s anything you still need.” Mostly in case some of her members forgot something, so they didn’t have to leave the safety of their hotel rooms to get it. But there was more than enough for that and in any case that Beam needed anything. “Have you been doing well? Are the dorms comfortable?” After the flooding mess, she wondered how people were dealing with losing important stuff and having spent such a long at some other company’s dorms, but it was nice that it had been fixed and things were back to normal.

Beam sat down admiring her surroundings, after living for so many years on dorms and the recent flood she suddenly didn’t feel that used to being in places where she felt completely comfortable like Saeun’s apartment, being around the Sunbaenim and leader she admired the most was always the breath of fresh air she needed, just the sight of her life style motivated her to get her group to the standards Iota were meeting. She waved at her once she spotted her stepping out following her with her eyes until she sat in front of her “We have everything we need thank you, I went shopping with some of the girls the other day.” She nodded slightly with a gentle smile.

a few years have passed since legion had a hard time with every song they put out. in the present day there was nothing else to do than profusely try to forget how a few scandals undermined so many efforts put into the relatively fresh group. it was mostly forgotten, minus the extra effort moonsan had to put into his health since then. “oh? thank you,” there was genuine surprise lacing through the tone of his voice, reaching out lightly pat on beam’s hand that landed on his shoulder. “i didn’t think many people outside atlas noticed that or at least actively discussed it.” he gripped onto the bench, knuckles white, looking away from the inquisitive girl. it wasn’t his favourite topic to discuss. “truth be told, the hardest part about that time was knowing that we couldn’t do anything about it. we had each other and it was a combined effort that got us through it.” moonsan might have historically taken up a role of a hypeman, but back then it was hard to operate as one, the young man placing a lot of reliance on the older members. “so i’ll take it as a compliment for legion, not me.” a single corner of his mouth curled upwards, side smile present as he looked back at the bright girl.

“it’s natural to worry, that’s a part of the position,“ he murmured as if it was a given. “worry too much and you will stress yourself out, worry too little and feel guilty that you don’t worry enough. worry more but share your worries,“ grip on the bench loosened, sangwook snapped his fingers a few times for added emphasis. “solves nothing but helps more than you might think.“ it was an offer for beam to talk his ear off. not necessarily in that moment, as the young man left a lose end and immediately moved along, moth chasing his mind which already was two non-verbalized thoughts ahead. “am i that interesting, little miss?“ he laughed while scratching along his jaw and letting himself to move long with her playful gesture. “well, i’ve been living in seoul for ten years, so i’m pretty much a seoul person by now. my parents moved here, too, after i got into atlas. i’m originally from wonju, gangwon province, though. so like an hour from here if you really press on it,” expressive nature lead to one of his hands shake a little in emphasis as he leaned back and put his weight on the hand still rested against the bench. “have you been? there’s some nice nature and a suspension bridge right over it. perfect if you’re afraid of heights,“ a small chuckle rolled off his tongue, in a way reminiscent of the fresh wind and the adrenaline rush from leaning over the edge to look right at the bottom of the cliff. “though i’m sure wherever you’re from has something similar if not nicer, no?“ an open invitation for beam to share her life story with the stranger she’d just met.

If there was something she enjoyed it was to see the emotional process on someone’s face as they spoke about themselves and Sangwook was not the exception, his whole face and demeanor changed the moment he started to talk about his life and where he was from, she was absorbed by the way he was describing his hometown, curiosity even beginning to emerge inside of her about the bridge he was talking about, she made sure to memorize the name of the town to google it once she had some alone time, wanting to put a picture on her company’s life story, her eyes followed his hands as he explained landing at the end on his eyes when she realized he had asked her a question. She moved her head to the side, almost letting it rest on her shoulder humming slightly now thinking about her own hometown “I’m from Chiang Mai, Thailand.” She moved her hands to her back, on each side of her body holding and steading herself with the bench “It’s filled with temples, buildings and nature all coexisting.” Sometimes when she closed her eyes she could still see the skyline that was visible from her balcony back home “But there’s nothing I miss more than the food.” She chuckled glancing at him.

Waving it off once again, he just shook his head in disagreement. There was no use arguing with her over something as unimportant as how good he was, because their opinions would always be different from each other. That was normal though, he figured. People always saw themselves differently and it didn’t matter how many times she would compliment him and tell him how great he was, he would never really be able to appreciate it without doubting himself just the slightest bit. It just came with being a perfectionist and he was glad he wasn’t as bad as some of his other friends – they probably never caught a good night’s sleep with so many worries on their minds. “That sounds so strange, don’t say that.” He groaned, gently hitting his friend’s upper arm. “It makes me sound so much younger than I am, you should be more respectful towards people older than you, you know?” He was joking, though he tried to keep a straight face to not make it too obvious.

Being worried about debuting was absolutely normal, especially being the leader. Daehyun himself had never had to go through that, since he had always been the youngest and thus the one with the least amount of responsibility. But even he had had his own worries back then, so he couldn’t even fathom how much was on Beam’s mind – or any leader’s mind, for that matter. “You can’t promise anything like that. I know you would like to and I do hope that all of your members are gonna debut with you, but things like that can change any second. The only thing you can do is motivate them to do their best and beyond – the rest is on them. If they’re not good enough to debut, it’s no one’s fault but their own. And especially not yours.” Sighing as he remembered the stressful life of being a trainee, he agreed. “I didn’t train for long, maybe like two to three years. They put me in Mon:star almost immediately and I was only eighteen when we debuted, so everything felt a little rushed. You’re a little bit older, so maybe you will be able to handle things better than I did.”

She let out a chuckle when he told her to be more respectful, hitting his arm gently, Beam was already used to the age customs of South Korea and was one to always respect them but the type of friendship she had with the older male was one where she felt she could let go completely and be herself around him. When hr began giving her advice the young lady kept her eyes locked on his, nodding gently along his words showing him she was giving him her complete attention and he was completely right about everything he said, no matter how hard she wanted it to be different, after all they were about to leave for a camp with individual evaluations and there was little she could do for them in that position; ‘handling it better’ she had no idea what he meant by that, the trainee life was so peculiar and unique it didn’t have a formula to do it right, along the four years she had been in her company she always tried doing her best for herself and her group and it had lead her to where she was now.

nights in seoul, ana supposes, are more suffocating than anywhere else, they pull on you, pull you down into sleep like death, the type of sleep it takes all morning to shake off, that is, if you’re lucky enough. that’s why she decides to get a head-start, to seize the first rays of sunlight in a faux and imaginary bottle, but maybe just maybe, if she takes a glance at her silver wrist watch, she’ll see that she’s far behind, skipping yet another part of her trainee schedule. it’s fine, of course it is, she’s a silver-tongued fox for a reason, capable of concealing her devious tracks in the snow —  so that you never know that she was truly there. out of her back pocket, she fishes out a lighter and two distinctly black cigarettes, one for now and one for later, unless she changes her mind and chooses to smoke them both one after the other.  

it’s not that she’s a heavy smoker, quite the contrary, she barely ever lusts after nicotine, but there are some mornings that simply demand cancerous assistance, just as some nights can’t be devoured without the help of a perfectly chilled glass of caramel-coloured whiskey. she flicks her lighter and the tip of the black cigarette subsequently turns bright orange — and so she inhales fast but exhales even faster as tendrils of smoke waft skyward. then she cants her head by raising her chin slightly, turning slowly around to identity the source of the unfamiliar sound. so it’s a ghost’s skateboard. anastasiya stops the long-board from going anywhere else with a quick movement of her foot, blocking its path while lifting her gaze in hopes of finding the mysterious owner. 

“um i have no idea,” different names, figures, faces, they all flit through her mind, but she’s always had trouble with remembering even the most basic details about someone. perhaps she’s not that awful at remembering, but she certainly seems to be fond of forgetting. “but you’re welcome. plus your skateboard looks pretty cool. oh and by the way, are you hurt or anything?”   

There were many words to describe Beam ‘dedicated’ was one of them, the young woman always made sure to keep herself on top of her game that meant she practiced all the time, even when her schedule allowed her some free time to rest she decided it was better to spend that time perfecting her skills, after all her group’s debut was coming fast and she wanted to be more than ready to lead her members to a successful debut. As every day went by she felt more and more pressured about reaching perfection so she walked through the hallways of the building that over time seemed more like a second home to her, she knew the way to her training room by heart not even needing to look around her to know where she was going, it had become a habit of hers to get lost in her thoughts whenever she was walking around the hallways and boy did she have things to think about.

Beam’s name fit her. It had been Seungyong’s first thought when he’d met her in person, beyond casual mentions and the few clips of Joy TV he’d seen on his screen. She had been a little shy – starstruck, maybe, although Seungyong didn’t like to think of himself as someone who could render people silent like that – but that hadn’t hidden the smile on his lips. Somehow, although he wasn’t entirely sure how, Seungyong had taken more than a few people under his wings through the years, but she stuck out in her optimism, although he still wasn’t entirely sure how much of a front that was; they weren’t that close, after all.

So when she’d asked, somewhat tentatively, whether he could help her, he had agreed almost on autopilot, and he didn’t regret it even though trying to figure out a date and time had been tricky, with his schedules picking back up and practices around Minho’s promotions. He’d emptied the spare chair that tended to be occupied by something and had dropped his pack of cigarettes into the drawer of his desk for it to remain out of sight in anticipation – it wouldn’t do to make an entirely bad impression, even though his studio usually saw him in joggers and ended up stuffy through a good session. When she knocked, he was prepared, trying to make some amount of headway in a pdf he’d been reading, and dropping his phone onto the table before opening the door for her, stepping to the side to let her in. The hallway behind her, as always, looked deserted. “Hey, come in.” His space had seen somewhat of an upgrade within the past few months – he’d moved into a bigger room, for one – but it still wasn’t huge, mostly because smaller environments helped him think. “Did you get here okay? I know the stairs can be tricky.” Not all of them led to all floors, and he knew that could be a point of confusion.

Beam took a step inside his studio immediately looking around amazed by her surroundings, it wasn’t that she had never seen a professional studio, she had after all recorded songs with her company already as she was sometimes allowed into that area but the fact that it was his own studio and that she was in a building where many of her favorite songs had come to life made a shiver go through her body, it was at moments like this that she was reminded about the fact that she was living her dream life and it was better than she could imagine “Yes, thank you.” She said assuring with a subtle smile “I know some people that come here a lot, they gave me some advice to find my way around the building.” Needing to pause for a moment she kept analyzing every single detail “I have to be honest I find this building quite intimidating.” The girl let out a giggle shrugging her shoulders gently, she turned around taking a couple of seconds to finish looking at the studio until her eyes naturally landed on his “So this is where the magic happens huh?” Giving him a gentle smile and a wink to finish her sentence.

Nodding, he shot her a reassuring smile. “See? It’ll be fine. You might not be able to visit her then but you will talk on the phone and she will understand. And maybe when you finished the trainee camp they will let you take a couple of days off so you can visit her back home and you two can celebrate her birthday a couple of weeks late. It’s better than nothing, right?” Daehyun wasn’t sure how leniant Summit Media was with that kind of thing but he imagined that it would probably prove to be a little bit more difficult than he thought it to be, but that was something he shouldn’t be telling Beam in this very moment. “That’s the spirit.” Chuckling, he went back to his wooden stick to draw meaningless figures in the dirt, silently wondering what it was like to have a family worth missing. Maybe it would have been nice to have some kind of motivation and feel the need to make someone proud but maybe it just would have stopped him from becoming so successful. Either way, he was satisfied with the way things worked out in the end.

Her hug was quite surprising and definitely caught him off-guard, but he happily reciprocated. Scoffing quietly, he looked at the girl out of the corner of his eye. “Your Daehyun? I’m mine and no one else’s, miss.” Obviously joking, he giggled as he continued his obscure drawings. “Am I ever truly resting though? We’ve been promoting our new comeback recently but I’m not too sure when the date is. I keep forgetting.” He wasn’t great with important dates which was surely a characteristic he needed to change about himself as soon as possible. “That’s an overstatement if I may say so myself, but I’m glad you like the sub-unit.” Daehyun had been a little bit nervous to debut in Mon:unique with another member but the public received it quite well which surely lifted a massive weight off his shoulders. “What about you? Have you gotten any new updates about your debut? I imagine it’s quite exciting.” He could still remember when he was said he was going to debut in a boy group and sometimes he wished he could relive that one special moment just one more time.

The moment she heard his words a warm feeling came through her whole body, just the thought of going back home to visit her family made her feel so excited she could even begin to feel her body starting to shake slightly, if she were to speak at that moment her voice would break as well, it was something that happened frequently to Beam so she knew how to hide it from others since she was used to keeping her struggles and nervousness a secret in her daily life; to help her with this she decided to hug her legs close to her chest to rest her chin on top of her knees keeping her gaze fixed on him, he always made her feel so much when they were together and all the emotions he made her go through were always positive making it impossible for her not to feel motivated once they parted ways. She laughed along his giggles at his joke causing her body to relax again, she ran one of her hands through her hair being careful not to mess her always perfect blonde bangs “Overstatement huh?” No matter how hard she tried to shower him with compliments he always seemed to have a way to dodge them “I think you underestimate your power my Daehyun.” She said emphasizing the ‘my’ to get a reaction from him hopefully, he was good and even better than that he was just amazing when he was on stage, the kind of performer that had your eyes focused through every movement.

Beam felt completely humbled every time her dear friend Areum made time to see her knowing she probably had the busiest schedule of the entire industry, at the beginning of her training period she could only greet her from afar, at the end of the day her seniors Iota were the reason she had auditioned for Summit Media, she wasn’t usually shy but to be around the people she admired the most who were also living her dream was a new experience for her but through the years her feelings towards Areum in particular developed into something different, even if she was her senior she was still younger than her and that meant Beam felt completely protective over her friend who was at all moments in the eyes of the whole public but still in her opinion always managed to shine effortlessly. It was important for her to make sure her senior would have a good time and feel relaxed, Beam was sure she could always need a break from everything. 

he watched beam stretch, a slight pout on his lips, while mindlessly along nodding along to confirm understanding the situation she was describing as his thoughts took sangwook back to his trainee period. “ah, i feel for your other members, i used to be the only member in school while others got to have fun for a whole year,” the movement had his bangs sticking to his damp forehead, an unpleasant reminder that he was, in fact, interrupted in the heat of a work out and his body was still cooling off. it made sangwook move away further from the girl on the bench while he combed his overgrown hair back with his fingers. “sorry, nothing personal. i’m just sweaty,” a tight, apologetic smile and squinting eyes forming into fitting crescents were offered as the man explained his sudden shift away from the young woman.

 “time passes quickly when you’re busy. you’ll barely notice the one year that’s remaining… five year trainee line, look at us,” he couldn't help but laugh, allowing himself to make presumptions even if debut dates typically were not set in stone. if the upcoming year was promised, surely summit would debut the group. when all members strive and work towards debuting, there was little chance for any fault which would reverse all the progress. “oh?” not many people chose to call him wookie, most around him much more familiar with his stage name. given name long forgotten in the mellow notes of the moonlight sonata. “did you study legion or something?” the question rose naturally when thoughts jumped from beam’s choice of nickname to her pointing out his leadership. a glint of interest passed trough san’s eyes as he quirked a brow up. “well, we’re all pretty close as a group and individually, so it’s not like my role is anything more than mediating between us and the company and saying a speech here and there.” it’s a nice compliment to receive, however, not one he genuinely believed, reality casting many doubts on his own outlook on his leadership abilities. and so sangwook can’t really continue keeping eye contact, smile fading as he chose to stare at the intertwined branches instead. “i think every leader is only as good as their team and not the other way around. as long as you prioritize and respect each other, you’ll be fine.” he hummed in deep thought, taking a small pause before his head rolled to look at beam, cheek pressing into his own shoulder. “why? worried about your duties?”

A slight red color began to make its way through her cheeks and on her lips a gentle smile started forming the moment he moved away from her, if there was something that amused her was to notice how other reacted to her actions, he was right, now that he had mentioned it she could notice he was sweaty but being a trainee that was something she was familiar with to the point she didn’t notice it anymore, now that she was analyzing his appearance his eyes were what instantly got her attention, his gaze as captivating as it was when he was on stage “I study the best of the best, groups, leaders, trainees and trainers.” She said counting with her fingers as she mentioned them “And Legion is not the exception you are the true example of resilience, I mean I know it’s now my place to say this.” Never being someone to hide her honest opinions and without giving it a second thought she continued “But everything that happened with your company’s scandals wasn’t your fault and your group still got affected by it but you still led them through it all looking as cool as ever.” She dared to reach out for his shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze “You killed it.” She finished giving him a subtle wink. 

Beam walked around the white hallways of the KMG building as if she had been there dozens of times when in reality it was the first time she had ever been that deep inside the intimidating building, the moment she got invited by the older male, she started asking around people she knew that frequented the building trying to familiarize herself with the situation beforehand as an attempt to make her nervousness go away, it wasn’t that she didn’t feel relaxed around him but at that stage of their relationship she still felt a little intimidated by Seungyong, at the end of the day she still deeply admired him and wasn’t used to seeing him up close instead of through a screen. She still couldn’t comprehend how was it that she had acquired a friend like him to the point that she could reach out to him for advice; she finally stopped walking once she realized she had reached his studio door, the young woman took one last look at what she was wearing making sure everything was the way it should be, her black high waisted joggers framing her small figure along with her cropped burgundy sweatshirt, she fixed her black bucket hat before finally knocking at his studio door. 

Her kind words warmed his heart. Even though Beam had her own thoughts and problems, he knew she would always be willing to lend him a shoulder to cry on. But no matter how many times she had offered to listen to the thoughts on his mind, he had never really opened up about himself. After all, he was the one to be guiding her, the one to be there for her and not the other way around – that’s what the older Mon:star members were for anyways. They were used to listen to his whining and complaining by now so it was probably best to just keep things the way they were. “Thank you, Beam, I really appreciate it, you know I do.” Daehyun’s lips curved into a small smile as he gently nudged her with his own shoulder. “But if there’s anything on your mind, you need to tell me too. You’re a leader so you’re always going to carry everyone else’s burden on your shoulders, but even strong leaders need someone to vent to from time to time.” Even though he was the group’s youngest, he knew just how much responsibility his leader Hamin had and he was glad that the other had trusted him enough to confide in him a few times before.

Nodding understandingly, he frowned slightly. Whenever people were sad about their families, he struggled to understand their emotions – after all, he had never had a good relationship with his parents or his siblings. “I see.” Daehyun answered, trying to think of something to say that would maybe cheer her up a little bit. “Can you call her at least? I’m sure she will understand that you have duties to fulfill.” It was the best thing he could tell her right now. Ever since debuting, Daehyun had not had any contact with a relative whatsoever and he had no idea where any of them were right now. It was good that way. “There will always be things that are hurtful, but that’s just life for you. Even if you weren’t training to be an idol, there would be things that hurt your heart, they would just be different. Trust me, I’ve been there.” He snickered quietly as he remembered how hard his life was before he started to train with Atlas Records. “You just have to concentrate on the positive things and remember why you’re here in the first place. I’m sure it’s gonna get better with time and you’re going to get used to it a little bit more. Just hang in there.”

Beam placed her elbow on her leg near her knee to then rest her head on her hand tilting it just a little to get a better look of her company concentrating on his word of advice, it always amazed her how cared she felt and how easily it was for her loose her worries around Daehyun, what was more impressive for her was the fact that she could tell he was aching along side of her but still made sure to protect her while there was much he didn’t allow her to know about what she saw in him was enough, there he was a young man with pain on his eyes who had come so far accomplishing what few had ever, he motivated her but not only that, she felt inspired “I’m sure they will let me call her.” She stretched her legs and rested her weight on her arms moving them to each side of her body, on her face a smile was starting to form “I'll make up for it someday, they won’t ever have to worry again about anything.” Since her parents had already gone through so much pain throughout their lives it had always been her dream to make it better.

“That’s great, I’m really happy that you get to go and perfect your skills. I mean, it’s not like you really have that much to improve on anymore anyway but it’s always nice to polish your talents as much as possible.” She had improved quite a bit since he first saw her – even though it was surely due to her training frequently, he liked to believe that him being her tutor played a part as well. At least a little bit. “I don’t think I’d be a great teacher too.” He was extremely impatient and didn’t know how to handle his words properly to convey his emotions in a way that wasn’t hurtful to others. Teaching a class just sounded like a nightmare. “I think my students would just go home and cry at the end of the day. I’m way too blunt and honest for that kind of work– it’s okay when I concentrate on a single student but a whole class just seems overwhelming.”

Not wanting to bother the younger with his own personal problems, he just shook his head in response, smiling once he spotted the little smiley face Beam had drawn in the dirt. She was always so positive and he always promised himself that he would be more like her but it never seemed to work out for him. There were always far too many worries on his mind these days. “Nothing in particular, I’m just thinking about life in general.” Daehyun snickered quietly, sighing as he wiped the smiley faces away with his bare hands. “I just haven’t been feeling too well lately. Maybe I should seek a doctor soon or something.” Before she could really reply, he looked up at her again. “But don’t worry about it, it’s really nothing. I shouldn’t bother you with my issues. Tell me, what’s been happening in your life lately, hm?”

She smiled looking at the floor, compliments always hit her differently when they came from him, he was talented in a way that not many people were, he truly was gifted and when he was on stage there was no denying of it, she felt proud and thankful to have someone like him watching over her and guiding her process to become an idol, he had always been the best tutor she could ask for so it was impossible to picture him like he had just described since her own memories were filled with the best training sessions with the older male, in her opinion it seemed impossible for him to make someone cry; it was easy for Beam to tell when someone was going through something, being the leader trained her to read people “You know I’m always going to worry about you right?” She said reaching to poke his cheek gently using her index finger and removing it almost instantly “Even if you tell me not to, I do and you wouldn’t be bothering me.” there was a real effort to show how genuine her words were “But I also respect you if you don’t want to talk about it, just know that I’m here.” She reached for his shoulder giving it a delicate squeeze.

the corners of his lips quivered slightly in an attempt to suppress an amused chuckle at the self-awareness the girl displayed. all lighthearted fun until sangwook heard his stage name and remembered that he was an idol standing around with a girl he didn’t know who obviously knew him. he subconsciously leaned back, brain cells overheating. “ah, i think you just made me sweat more than i did throughout my entire jog,” he released a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding upon hearing she was a trainee while his right hand came up to his chest to pull his zipper down lower in an attempt to catch a breeze. just in time for beam to grab onto him and gently pull him away. “how forward,” an obvious joke met with silent laughter as he followed the girl, eyes focused on his feet in an attempt not to step on her heels. “you’re not kidnapping me, are you?” it was refreshing to meet a go-getter, san used to the average trainee being much more taint.

“well, it’s nice to meet you, beam of lark, i’m sangwook. at least today i’m more of a sangwook than a moon san if that makes sense,” a dimple peeked as he flashed her a smile while nodding. “all jokes aside, thanks. i wouldn’t want to wake up to pictures of us or some weird rumours that would cause trouble,” in reality, his case might just be easier than beam’s, the trainee regime strict enough to push debut after any minor mishap. not to talk about something that might be potentially explosive. “you must come here a lot to know this area,” sharp eyes drifted from the young woman to observe their surroundings as he moved past her to place himself on the bench, leaning forward slightly trying to avoid the morning sun in his eyes. “it’s nice that you have time to enjoy yourself a little and go out like this instead of sleeping in practice studios,” his wandering gaze once again settled upon his unexpected morning company. “how long have you been a trainee?” sangwook pries, trying to size up who exactly he was talking to.

To say Beam was familiar with the private area was an understatement, she moved naturally across the small space heading for a tree where she usually left her longboard leaning against it “Well Sangwook, it’s good to meet you.” she placed her hands on her hips and looked around slowly trying to spot any differences from wen she had last been there, it was silly but she could get protective even of her favorite places. The older male was right, if the wrong pair of eyes were to spot them trouble would surely come and boy could she get paranoid about it but after years of living with that fear she liked to think she had mastered it already, thankfully numerous branches hid them perfectly “Trouble? You could probably profit from being spotted with me.” She said joking not hiding the sarcasm on her tone and locking her eyes on his to give him a wink “It’s one of my favorite places to visit around this time of the day, this place is still good for like another hour.” By this time she already knew all the unspoken schedules that she had to follow to stay out of trouble, it had taken her quite a while to get used to living under the radar but now it came almost naturally. 

Looking back, Daehyun had no idea how @vldbeam even managed to become part of his life – it all just sort of happened. Back when he was still frequently visiting the Summit Media building to meet his then girlfriend she had approached him and soon enough they were practising her dance together. It quickly developed into an established sunbae-hoobae relationship but as time progressed and Daehyun stopped visiting Summit Media altogether they opted for different meeting points and became real friends. It was nice to meet new people, especially from other companies, but unfortunately for him it was a very rare occasion.

“Are you leaving for that trainee camp soon?” He questioned as he drew circles in the dirt on the ground using a long stick. Daehyun wasn’t sure where he had heard it but someone had recently told him that a lot of trainees would be going away for some sort of program. Beam was the only friend he had who hadn’t debuted yet so it was probably the best to ask her himself. “I don’t think I ever went anywhere like that. Or maybe I just don’t remember. If you go, you need to call and text me to keep me updated– I’d like to see what trainees do there.” It was no secret that he had been lonely lately, after all he had been pestering a lot of his friends with calls and texts – Beam being no exception. Although he had never told her about his private relationship drama due to their friendship being too new, she hadn’t told him to leave her alone yet which was definitely a plus. 

Beam took a deep breath as she carefully looked at the landscape before them, concentrating on every single detail so she could remember the whole picture exactly the way it was later on, there was something about it that made her feel completely at ease, her stress slowly leaving her body; giving it another thought it wasn’t only the nature surrounding them that was helping her, she always seemed to have that feeling when the older male was around, being the leader of her own group she would constantly hold back some of her feelings, worries and struggles but that never happened when she was around Daehyun, he was out of the ordinary, someone she could rely on for a change. At the beginning of their friendship she couldn’t really believe how natural it was for them to bond, for her it was easy to see past his on stage persona and focus on his real side.

jinye was a homebody. as a child, she hadn’t been, but she became a trainee when she was only fourteen and after that, she saw the sunlight less and less. in the beginning, her extensive time inside could be blamed on the long training hours mixed in with classes. it had been an unbearable schedule — there was no way to find the time to slip outside. but once she debuted, the reasoning turned into something slightly darker, depending on how you looked at it:

the outside world wasn’t safe. not for idols, at least.

she supposed that some people must like it, but she didn’t. she loved the attention when there was a clear division between her and the onlookers, but i felt overbearing when she was only trying to go for a walk or buy her groceries and random people stared, took pictures and videos or came up to her to have emotional conversations that she wasn’t prepared for. she was glad that people liked her. she was glad that she was recognizable. but she wished that she could put on different skin every once in a while.

it wasn’t the same, but she’d recently discovered that if she left her house early in the morning, chances of being faced with hoards of people were a lot lower. it was more comfortable for her and safer for her dogs, who were currently sniffing their way along at the ends of their leashes. she was watching them with the same fond amusement she always did until a longboard came rolling directly at her. it seemed like it had been intentional and for a split second, she thought it might belong to some crazed fan. needless to say, she was happy to see beam instead.

“i think we’ve met a time or two,” she confirmed with a soft nod. you may have also seen me on tv, she thought to say, but it seemed pretentious — something that she wasn’t. “you’re beam, right?..” she looked towards the board again before leaning down to pick it up. holding it towards the girl, she asked, “are you alright?”

If there was something Beam was still not used to it was having people she admired knowing who she was and remembering her name, it had come a long way from the time she first arrived when she couldn’t even make a simple conversation with anyone due to the language barrier and now, things had changed but even if she was confident her cheeks always made sure to tell on her, flushing her face with a subtle tone; falling off her long board wasn’t her ideal way of running into the older woman who she respected dearly “I'm so sorry that happened, I could’ve hurt your dogs.” was the first thing that she managed to get out of her mouth, reaching for the maltese and chihuahua to pet them for a moment before grabbing onto her board it was long enough so that the blush on her cheeks was probably gone so she faced her.