i love beetles

we won't reach true equality in gaming until we get a woman version of the survival horror protagonist with a big jacket and a missing wife

hitting the weed pen in the bathroom at all you can eat sushi and reemerging for round two like a bloodied but determined boxer in the ring

(lights a cigarette) nobody even wants to play toys anymore. (puts the cigarette out on a play-dough ashtray) because of work.

It's actually funny how humans decided "fuck living in caves with all these creepy crawlies", got out of caves, built houses that have all the nice parts of a cave without any of the yucky parts, and then all the little bugs and spiders and other creepy crawly creatures that used to also live in caves thought "sweet, new and improved caves" and moved right back in with us.

"to get treatment for adhd you (person with untreated adhd) need to schedule and then show up for several appointments" is the kind of shit the greek gods would inflict on a guy who ate his son

I was bleeding out in the snow and it was all cool and stuff until like a bunch of teenager showed up and then It got really cringe so I put all the blood back and went to go bleed out somewhere else but all the good bleed out places were taken so I decided just to die like a natural peaceful death like look overlooking the Cliffside but lo and behold somebody's already fucking dying there against a tree and it looks way sicker than what I had planned I guess I'll just fucking live

They need to invent a guy dead on the floor emoji