Viva La Pluto, Fuck This

...And this is just a preview👀✨️

🔥⚠️ HEATED RIVALRY SPOILERS ALERT ⚠️🔥

[Because my brain needed this. So I drew it.]

LET ARTISTS BE.

based on this tweet i made as i jumped on the bravebyers bus:

so byler is ship of the year 🧍

They routinely have entire conversations where Ilya is very softly smacking Shane's foot the entire time. Shane enjoys the percussive feedback.

Ilya mispronounces the word "Application" and they just sit there mutually whispering 'Aaap-li-caaa-shun' at each other for the next thirty seconds.

Ilya comes up behind Shane while he's trying to make a smoothie and says 'HELPING HANDS' and puts his arms under Shane's armpits.

Ilya sees Shane undressing in the bathroom and yells, "Take it all off!"

Shane carries Anya into the bedroom and holds her over Ilya's chest and moves her paws and says, "Papa it is me. Papa it has been an whole hour since I ate. Papa I am so hungry and sad." then drops her on his stomach.

Shane comes into the home office and grabs a pen off the desk and puts it against Ilya's cheek and says, "Any last words?" and Ilya says, "I wish I had eaten more dumplings."

Ilya spends an entire episode of House Hunters International with his hand down Shane's pants. It's not doing anything in there either it's just keeping warm.

Sometimes they are just mutually awake at three AM for No Reason and they go stand on the porch and stare at the empty street together.

Sometimes they are laying there playing footsie on the couch while on their phones (Parallel play) and Shane says, "Does your mouth ever do that squeezing thing. You know. When you eat." And Ilya says "Explain" and they spend the next ten minutes dissecting whether this is a Human Experience or a Shane Experience.

Sometimes Ilya will put his head on Shane's stomach and say, "Show me your boooones" and wait for Shane to lift his shirt so he can burrow under it.

When Shane gets frustrated he's liable to mutter, "One of these fucking days" under his breath. Ilya's job is to respond "Straight to the moon," and mime an uppercut.

Sometimes Ilya gets very excited especially before/after very intense games and in order to release some of this energy he does this WOOP thing with the back of his throat. Shane will respond with an echoing WOOP from wherever he is, even the showers. Sometimes other people on the team will echo them and it becomes a sort of hype-up but Shane and Ilya will even do it when they're alone. If Ilya is particularly excited he will say, "Louder, baby!" and Shane will WOOP again, big grin splitting his face.

Ilya sings songs under his breath and replaces half the lyrics with Shane and Anya's names. After he hears Blinding Lights by The Weeknd for the first time he spends WEEKS just periodically muttering "I said Shaaaane...I'm blinded by the Shaaaane..."

Ilya lays down flat on Shane's back and says, "Do you like this?" and if Shane says, "Yeah," he'll bite the back of his neck and say, "How about now?" And the way Shane responds decides if Ilya puts his hand in his pants or just weighs him down and takes a nap.

Shane holds out his hand to Ilya and says, "Do the thing," and Ilya spends the next three minutes carefully cracking all of Shane's knuckles.

Their finance guy is named Hezekiah Patterson and they ONLY refer to him as Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS. Did you talk to Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS about those assets? Shane, Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS is calling us. We just got a Christmas card from Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS. That was very nice of Heze--

i speak english the most in day to day life and also think in english sometimes. my accent in english is americanized, pretty indistinguishable from a native (excluding sets of certain phonemes like /rl/) .

but if i’m really tired or spending time just around my wife (with whom i speak english), i sometimes switch to what i call ‘lazy english’.

what this usually consists of is i allow myself to speak english with the russian /r/ phoneme that is more natural for me, i drop articles, replace continuous and future tense with simple present, use the ‘….,yes?’ construct, avoid contractions (bc the verb ‘to be’ is dropped/implied in russian, so contractions aren’t always natural)

for example, when i’m in ‘lazy english’ mode, this is how my speech varies:

‘i’m making the bed’ = ‘i make bed’.

‘you’ll help me later, right?’ = ‘you help me later, yes?’ (for this one, in russian, the same phrasal construct ends with the word ‘yes’ instead of the word ‘right’)

‘can you give me a tissue?’ = can you give me tissue?’

‘where’s the pen? do you have it?’ = ‘where is pen? you have?’

if you pay attention, you’ll notice that a lot of these patterns also occur in ilya’s speech, especially earlier on. that’s why i’m particularly impressed with the writing of his dialogue — it doesn’t come across as stereotyping/caricatural because the way he speaks english is consistent with russian linguistic/grammatical rules. this is often how russian-speaking people speak english when it is their second language and they’re still learning.

you still want?

i still want

hands were shaking at the speed with which i drew this — inspired heavily by this post and obviously recent events