i’ll be there for you when your wings break

~ BYF ~

𐙚 i will be talking about disability and DID a lot here. i am in the progressive stage of what my doctors suspect is hypermobile EDS, meaning my body and my pain are worsening and i am experiencing new symptoms what feels like every other week now. i am going through a lot in my life as well- anyone with DID will know that new stressors and trauma is extremely destabilizing and causes a lot of splitting, communication issues, and amnesia. i need somewhere to vent and talk about these things, and that’s exactly what this blog is for.

𐙚 i am far more familiar with my experiences and my symptoms than you will ever be. friends can always approach me with information and advice, but if we’re not friends do not try to “educate me” about what i’m going through. i am extremely liberal with the block button.

𐙚 i am a grown adult, i don’t do syscourse like that because i don’t have the time or the energy to argue with people who don’t listen. i have my own opinions and if i feel inclined to share them i will, but it’s not something i engage in often nor do i engage in fakeclaiming or anti self-diagnosis rhetoric. that being said, please refer to my DNI.

𐙚 i do trigger tag as a common courtesy but i won’t be listing my own specific triggers here because i 1) do not want to put that information out there and 2) don’t expect people to keep up like that. as long as the basic major triggers are tagged, i’m all good usually and if i’m not i know how to manage my own triggers. if there’s something i forget to tag, you can always anon me and i’ll go back and tag it.

𐙚 i have dyslexia and sometimes struggle with language processing due to brain damage. all this on top of my strabismus coming back (<- failed corrective eye surgery haver) means that i sometimes make a lot of typos that i genuinely do not catch until much later. i do use the word suggestion feature on my phone to fix a lot of spelling errors, but that doesn’t really work for when i’m on my laptop or if i use the wrong words entirely. if you see it happening, please don’t pick on me about it…if it’s so bad that you need help understanding whatever i’m trying to communicate, you can ask for clarification. i’m more than happy to do so as long as you aren’t mean. we have one frequent-ish fronter in particular who really struggles with language because he holds a lot of those symptoms and thus experiences heavy brain fog and processing issues, so if you see a post that’s very oddly worded or incoherent/missing a lot of words, it’s probably him. please be nice.

𐙚 this is just a personal note really but the nature of our mental and physical health and our relationship to our body is very complicated and for all intents and purposes, a lot of us don’t really feel or identify as human. this doesn’t mean we lack empathy or connection with humanity, but i know we can be off-putting sometimes especially when we’re manic and/or experiencing an episode of psychosis or extreme dissociation so. just a fair warning. i promise we don’t bite unless provoked (/hj).

~ DNI ~

𐙚 racists, colorists, islamophobes, antisemites, xenophobes, or if you’re antiblack or antigypsy (falls under the category of racists but considering a large portion of the population don’t even consider us to be people… 🙃). zionists will be blasted on site and fed to the bears.

𐙚 biphobes, homophobes, lesbophobes, transphobes, misogynists, transmisogynists, transmisogynoirists, TERFS, SWERFS, and weirdos who:

• hate anyone who doesn’t identify on a binary

• are nasty towards people with marginalized gender identities

• think people using microlabels and neopronouns are ~the reason why conservatives don’t like us~

• think “transmisandry” is a thing. that’s just transphobia. stop speaking over trans women.

• associate trans women and trans feminism with p3dophiles, gr00ming, inc3st, etc. you’re fucking weird and you’re not an ally to trans women by acting like “destigmatizing” harm towards children is trans feminism.

𐙚 on that note i block age players and anyone who defends p3dophilia and inc3st, that includes kinks. i’m not against all “taboo” kinks but i refuse to be in community with people who can’t understand why kinks that sexualize children and child abuse contribute to the harm against children especially when you are playing them out/talking about them in public and online. this goes for fictional/pr0ship stuff too. be fucking normal.

𐙚 if you are bodily white and your alters publicly identify out of race, leave. that’s something you need to keep to yourself and work on internally and systems of color don’t deserve to be subjected to interacting with your alters who are, intentionally or not, perpetuating racist stereotypes in the meantime.

𐙚 note: this subject is far more complicated for systems of color given that systems of oppression are not so cut and dry as “only white people have privilege over me,” especially for Black and Romani systems, so there is more leeway there. however if you are nonBlack with alters that identify as/look “Black”, or a gadjo with alters that identify as Romani, you can fuck off too.

𐙚 no endos/tulpas/paras/“transID”/etc; please. heavy on the last two. that includes people who are pro or neutral on any of these topics. like i said, i have my own opinions on “endos” which i feel are reasonable in that i leave space in my rhetoric for those who might actually have OSDDID, but i simply don’t feel the need to waste so much energy talking about it all the time nor do i want to engage with people who call OSDDID systems that want our spaces to be respected “sysmeds” and “traumascum.” my biggest thing is that this is a space for me to talk about my experiences and connect with other dissociative systems.

~ tag guide ~

𐙚 #.txt

• for general posting

𐙚 #angel.exe

• for personal posts / posts related to our system

𐙚 #intro.txt

• will be used for any potential alter introductions, but really don’t expect much if anything. we’re extremely private outside of what we share with friends.

~ frequent fronters ~

𐙚 mercy | he/him, any prns ok if we’re friends | 17-19

𐙚 ama | he/him | 10-17, but usually sits at 15

𐙚 iris | any prns, she/her preferred | 19

𐙚 momo / kamama | he/him | 25-30

𐙚 walosi / roy | he/him | 25-30

𐙚 hyacinthe | any prns | 19 (be nice to them or else.)

𐙚 yves | he/him | 22 (be nice to him or else. x2)

𐙚 note: we are polyfragmented and thus we are often very blurry/blended. as well, many of us are very anxious about identifying ourselves to anyone besides our close system friends. all this to say, we may not actually sign off on our posts, and if we do, most of us will likely use a secondary name, nickname, pseudonym, or an emoji.

lastly, friends and mutuals that we’ve interacted with regularly may reach out and ask for our plural space id! if we don’t give you the id, it’s nothing personal- we sometimes have strong paranoia episodes where we private a lot of info about our system or personal info in general out of fear of judgement or being found by irl stalkers. we have a lot of trauma around that sort of thing so i promise it’s usually not you and if that happens we will likely reach out when we’re in a better mental state and send you our id 🫶🏼